Infrequently updated consistently funny

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Bond, James...eh you know how it goes

U know I used to wonder how Bond could get all those cool gadgets etc, then it hit me when you are pretty much the main thing going for your secret service and u do the work of a hundred men they are pretty much saving money no matter how much they spend on your gadgets. Plus no price is too big to save the world from the evil Ruskies, China men, Terroristic Arabs, Iraqis, crazy Haitians or whatever group it was favorable that decade to blast.

I rant about this all the time so I have to add a new one: I hate these you could have this if and if and if and if you have this or this or this or this symptom…the latest one to get my goat is the diabetes ad that says your love life might be affected if you have diabetes and other similar illnesses. I swear I am now afraid that even the slightest sneeze will make me impotent.

Oh and I think I have RLS ‘Restless Leg Syndrome’ more on that…

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.