Today ABC aired their "revealing interview" with Colton Underwood
who I think remains the most famous Colton that I know (I am sure someone will tell me about some other Colton and I will then ignore them to remain correct).
Hearing this interview was about to occur I immediately thought back to this Mmmhmm article that was posted by ET in March.
For years many fans and Billy Eichner insulting clips have demanded that the Bachelor Franchise have a Gay lead (whether for the lor/rette) well those fans have gotten their wish if only by default as is this franchise's wont and after the cultural impact can be felt in it's more important fashion COLTON IS GAY!
Yes I deliberately capitalized that because that is basically how the news is being presented and that is how ABC wants it to hit you but really in the Bachelor circles I float in the news is received more in this fashion "hey, so that dude Colton finally admitted it." And please, please, do not actually make Colton the Bachelor again, he does not 'deserve' this rehab and it would feel like a mockery of the community.
I am not of the camp that assumes a person is gay because they do not 'conform' to the typical actions of a group they are in, in Colton's case a show built around heteronormative conservative Christian pretense that sex is not occurring by closing the door and saying "I value this time to get to know you in the fantasy suite." BUT even in a world where gimmicks and questionable behavior resound Colton's antics stand out: his jumping of the gate remains one of the top 5 most athletic things ever performed on the franchise
and also a top 5 example of STOP LETTING OMCH TALK TO HIM AND BRING ON A PSYCHOLOGIST!
His post show relationship with Cassie (who let us not gloss over history by making it seem like a casual pursuit) remains top 5 train wreck post show and this is in a franchise that has Chad, Becca's ex and Courtney; and top 5 "I hate myself but I want to learn more."
I legitimately want the best for someone who is finding their truth, Colton's revelation was his to make on his own time and I really hope that he was not pushed to do this but decided to do it when he felt right, the March declaration seems extra suspicious in light of today's revelation and I truly hope we do not hear that there is some nefarious background reasons...other than launching a Netflix show.
Now, I get working out your complications with a religious background and trying to hide your true self...but why join this franchise? This franchise can be very toxic (I put 'can be' to absolve my sin of watching it) and it means that when you join it you are interacting with others ostensibly looking for love: If you knew you were gay why be the Bachelor? Why lead these women on? Why go so hard after Cassie? Why, why why...these are questions I cannot answer but I really wish the interview had.
It feels almost too on the nose that the same Colton who was a confusing Bachelor choice will leave me with confusing questions. He came off as a sexualized virgin on his season, almost a loaded gun with dummy bullets personified; the show painted him as 'safe' but there was often the feeling that his surface belied troubled waters and while it reveled in the gate jump (and seriously if you can remember that season so much promo was dedicated to it) it hid just what that jump led to and signified. Colton has been accused of stalking and harassing his ex and now I cannot just forget it all under the guise of "maybe he was confused."
It really feels weird that Bachelor is billed as the find your love show but 'Temptation Island' with its glossy beaches and pardoned 'cheating' feels safer and cleaner OR maybe I just want more of you to watch it with me. "You're not gonna tempt me...Oh...You'll never forget me...(whispered) You're not gonna tempt me!"
You knew this was coming right?
Random final note, the dentist gave me an 'A' after my dental cleaning today, I passed the bar exam and I am not sure which score reveal gave me more initial joy!
