So I got molested at the bar tonight...

Sounds like a line, but sadly it is true. My boys were cracking up as some very drunk female who thought I was her co-worker began to grope me.

(To the person I was talking to on the phone...I meant every word I said...even the apology re the Ninja Turtle)

I also got grabbed by a russian girl while waiting to cross the street - that was funny.

Nothing like free alcohol to spur myself and the Persian Mafia to immediately chug, like alcohol was a scarce commodity that could only be saved by us consuming as much as possible of it, in a short amount of time.

Here is hoping I do not regret the "calling to make sure you got home safe" call

Asking "Do you shave your legs?" is probably not PC, but I think it is a very important and legitimate question.

You know you are consuming too much red bull when your heart begins racing.

I make an awesome jerk-bbq chicken pizza (just had to throw that in here since I discovered that b4 hitting the bar to night, and because the 'ninja-turtle lover' called me while I was grilling so I expect her to see this and be ashamed of her ever questioning my cooking skill)

This is probably horrible of me but...everytime I see a cute/hot girl take off her glasses and then shake her hair out, I suddenly think of skinimax...if you know why, then welcome to my twisted world.

Declaring "And you know I look good in pink" is not cocky, it is confident.

Dan is NOT safe around any girl you are hitting on...shout out to Bex on this one.

Watching Sand Assassin trying to make sure that peeps I introduce him to at the bar learn his real name is bloody funny.

Watching AXA allow me to call him Armani when introducing him to new people is cool, take a memo SA!

Finally, when a girl is actively rubbbing her boobs against your chest and grinding her crotch into yours, having her purr "I like you because my brother and you have the same name" is guaranteed to ensure that you do not have to worry about anything inappropriate 'popping up'.

--SELAH