Saturday, June 11, 2011

Many questions, few answers or Why would the blood bank lady think I would think about making a donation before noon on a saturday?

  • Was that title long enough for you?
  • Who knew Jolly Ranchers had a soda?
    • Is there a faster way to increase the rate of diabetes in this country?
  • Why do I have more soaps and shampoos in my shower than most girls I know?
    • I have the 2 in 1 Zinc Shampoo for dry scalp; I have the 'sweet' smelling herbal Shampoo and conditioner bottles for the days when I want to smell great; I have the 3 in 1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash for the days when I am in a bloody hurry cause I decided an extra 15 minutes of sleep was crucial and I cannot waste time using 3 separate bottles; I have not 1 but TWO strawberry body washes of different brands; I have the 'manly' Dial body wash (with the extra moisturizer); I have the exfoliating body wash...and none of that includes the additional stuff stored under the counter.
  • Why do I still love watching wrestling? 
    • Yes I know it's fake, so are sitcoms...I often find this funnier.
  • Why are there so many 'paranormal' shows out there?
  • Why is 'So you think you can dance' a hit?
  • How is it my boy and I willing watched a chick flick?
    • It has nothing to do with all the above soaps...a man can just be concerned about his cleanliness
  • Why am I the only person in my clique who LOVES ice cream mixed with milk? 
    • And no...not a milk shake, just a splash or 2 of ice cream milk (* editor: apparently my subcon was so strong I put what I love most on what I love most...thanks Grace for the catch) on your scoops of ice cream
  • How does Paris Hilton have a new show?
    • No seriously, how? 
  • What the hell is wrong with A. The athletic apparel companies and B. my calves that cause the companies to release Calf Compression gear with sizes of large and X-large and the size difference being 14.5-16.5 for Large and 16.5-18.5 for X-large? 
    • Why does this tick me off?
      • Because My left calf is exactly 16.6 unflexed and only goes down to 16.5 flexed and my right is exactly 16.5 - I used 2 different measuring tapes
    • So what happens if I buy this, and lose weight while running? 
    • Or, what if I increase my calf muscle size?
  • Both would be good things...but I do not know if I need to get the large size so it fits snuggly or the x-large size so it just fits?
    • Why is the bloody size change line exactly at the size of my bloody calves?
  • Why couldn't it have been just like the Weight lifting gloves...X-large? 
    • Yup ladies, you read that right
      • I wear big gloves
        • No really nothing more being hinted there
          • Just telling you in case you are ever shopping for me
            • Leather is prefferred
  • Why are my friends demanding I watch "Ice loves Coco"?
  • In that Vegas ad where the guy gets locked out of his room in nothing but a robe; where is he getting all the cash and ID's to purchase all the stuff and pick up the girl (I am assuming she is NOT a hooker)?
  • Why am I watching 'Why did I get married, too?'
    • Am I compelled to support black cinema?
  • Why are people disappointed with Lebron James?
    • Maybe if you were not so desperate to think of him as the next Jordan you would just appreciate his current level of greatness?
    • But is it so shocking that a kid that was told he was the greatest since junior high, nicknamed himself the 'King' and never went through the socializing that college brings would shrink in high pressure situations?
  • Why am I up at 3:44am when I am giving blood in 9 hours?
    • Better yet: Am I a lush because I plan to meet up with alcoholic friends half an hour after donating blood?
    • I do get props for scheduling the drinks for after the donation though right?
      • RIGHT?

No comments:

Post a Comment

Love/Hate? Comment it!