Infrequently updated consistently funny

Monday, September 18, 2017

Bachelorette recap or, we will not let you back in this house!



We start with DeMario trying to talk his way into the house he definitely turns on the silver tongue charm, but it does not work and thus the posse of guys hanging outside the house willing to throw him out does not need to be activated. 

The cocktail party continues and the guy labeled ‘Tickle monster’ walks around with giant hands. Waboom aka Lucas tries to counter what Blake has said about him by using what I guess is gay panic? He tells Rachel a story of waking up and seeing Blake standing over his bed eating a banana – right after saying Blake might have a crush on him. Blake as a counter to his accusation says that he does not eat carbs…Both Lucas and Blake are booted, while Lucas is doing his goodbye ITM Blake walks over puts his hand on his shoulder and begins to verbally unload on him. They begin to rant at each other in a pretty funny meltdown, I have not seen every season of this show but I cannot imagine this has happened much before. 

The Group date card arrives and it says the guys are going on Ellen, they react way too aggressively for men that allegedly have jobs during the daytime…on the Ellen show they strip down to dance for the ladies in the audience and a few snitch on themselves. 

Ohhhhh Fred, he asks Rachel if this is the right time to kiss her, he makes it awkward but somehow still gets the kiss while continuing a sentence – he has been waiting to kiss her since elementary school. Rachel brings out the date rose to the group but then asks Fred to step outside with her for a bit, the guys who remain in the room think that this means he is getting the rose but nope Rachel is letting him go, because she just cannot see him as anything but the little kid she once knew. 

Solo date time:
And they are on Rodeo Drive poor Anthony has to get on a horse for the first time in his life and ride down Rodeo with Rachel, she steers their horses into West (the shop) to get boots and hats, then to Sprinkles for Cupcakes then to a boutique shop where the horses finally relieved themselves. Anthony lucked out cause he got to get an ‘experience’ plus gets gifts. 

Group Date Time:
And Rachel brings some of her ‘friends’ from her season of the Bachelor, it is hard to see Corinne on this. The guys are taken to a saloon to mud wrestle…so again the guys on the group date are topless. I guess this is equality… they are objectifying the men like crazy here including yelling “show us your junk” and “let me see that butt.” Sigh, I hate when they make the women strip down on the Bachelor and I hate to see it here for the men on the Bachelorette. 

Kenny confesses in his one on one time with Rachel that he used to be a Chippendale dancer in Vegas. 

Eric confronts the 2 guys that told Rachel they found him the least compatible with Rachel. Despite being told by multiple peeps that Eric is not right for her Rachel gives him the date rose.
Cocktail party time and multiple people talk about Eric and it clearly shakes Rachel – this causes her faith in him to shake and she seeks him out. Rachel doesn’t pull the rose from him but Eric calls the guys together to lecture them about “keeping my name out your mouths.”

No comments:

Blog Archive

About Me

My photo
Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.