BCS DECLARES GERMANY WINNER OF WWII

(I really wish I knew who to credit with this, I googled it but could not find an original poster)

US Ranked 4th

After determining the Big-12 championship game participants, the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.

"Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work--including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule--our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking."

Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the BCS commissioner stated "The US only had two major victories--Japan and Germany. The computer models, unlike humans, aren't influenced by head-to-head contests--they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event."

German Chancellor Adolf Hitler said "Yes, we lost to the US; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks." Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn 'style points' to enhance Germany's rankings. Hitler protested "Our contest with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional forces."

The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented " France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 ranking they only fell to #2."

Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines.

---bloody funny stuff, whomever came up with it, is right on target and bloody funny!

A little dark humour to reflect my mood!

The CIA was once recruiting new candidates for special missions. The final 3 Candidates were a Jamaican an American and a Canadian. To weed out who would be best for risky special ops the CIA called them in one by one the Canadian came in first: "Congrats you have made it to the final stage, the only thing left for you to become an agent is to take this gun go inside and kill the 2 people in the waiting room." The Canadian looked at the gun and said, "Oh no I cannot do that, dontcha know that is wrong. Goodbye eh" He then walked out.

The American was called in next and given the instructions, he looked at the gun looked at the CIA rep and shook his head saying "Man y'all are crazy no way can I do that."

The Jamaican was called in next, he looked at the gun reluctantly after receiving the message slowly picked it up and walked out. There was silence for ages then some shouting, some yelling a commotion sounded, the reps from the CIA rushed out to the waiting room. There they found the Jamaican with a torn shirt breathing heavily and a vexed look upon his face and the Canadian and American dead at his feet.

He looked up at the CIA reps and in a disappointed voice said "Dread, the gun unuu gave mi never have nuh bullets so mi haffi beat them over the head with it and fling some chair till the boy them stop moving...so when do I start the job?"

Not the greatest joke, bit macabre but such is the way I feel after reading that 125 persons were killed in July and that is actually a DECREASE in the murder rate for back home!

Sand A, says I should put the murder rate in context so let me try: San Diego County and Jamaica have a similar population size. It is considered a gruesome year in SD if there are 40 murders for the whole year. If Jamaica had a month of only 40 murders we would probably have to have a national holiday!