I miss you too much for this to be safe...vol 1.435

I miss you,
You were so good to me. When others forsook me, you were there. You were often with me when nothing else would soothe. When I could not eat in the mornings, you were there.

You were amazing on my lips. So soft, so smooth so sweet. You caressed my lips, you were gentle on my tongue. Yes too much of you could initially give me a quick headache, but you were instantly forgiven and you always soothed my head. When sore, I could hold you to my chest and you would make things feel ok.

It has been 5 weeks and I have not had you. I am wrecked without you. I am lost without you. I find myself, trying to find substitutes for you. Cookies, cakes, vague hook ups, transgressions...I have strayed.

I have found myself making Kool-Aid because of you! KOOL AID? I miss your sugar, so now I have craved sugar. I am trying to lose weight and you have me drinking kool-aid. I had not made Kool-aid since I was a teenager.

I love you, I think I have to come back to you, this has been a miserable break. Maybe I can take you in small doses? Maybe I can control myself around you? Can I trust myself to have you back in my house?

We were together for 26 years. I was wrong to abandon you, so what if you were bad for my diet, what are wash board abs if I am lonely at night?

I want you back, I miss you...ice cream!

Yoga makes me crave ice cream vol3.5354

So I find yoga extremely challenging. I work out 5 days a week and I do yoga about once a month, yet every time I do it, it basically kicks my ass. I still cannot find Downward dog to be a resting pose, I feel much more comfortable in Cobra and of course the Child's pose.

Anyway, it amuses me that as strong as I am getting from weight lifting, I still cry for mercy if I have to hold a pose for 10 seconds...but at least it is making me limber.

What is crazy is the fact that I pretty much lose all the benefits of the work out by coming home and gorging on Friendship bread and ice cream.

I have been trying out gourmet cooking the last 6 months, hence why I have to work out so much (like I say to my friends I do not work out to get skinny, I work out to fit through my front door.)

But I realized that this fascination with cooking might be getting too strong a hold of me. I just spent half an hour watching and re-watching a video on gourmet cookware. Granted the price of the 30 piece set FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS means that I will NEVER buy it, but a man can still look at it and salivate.

Remember peeps, start gearing up for the Cali-J's 30th, a year and a few months from now, it is going to be LEGEN...