Working and watching the Bachelor, hope I do not lose too many brain cells.
We return to Hannah Brown and Peter
crying in each other's arms. Hannah sits on Peter's lap and kisses his
forehead. While they are doing this the girls on the group date are
actively speculating and worrying that Hannah will join the show.
Peter finally pulls away saying "I
cannot do this" then hugs Hannah back in. A podcast I listen to let me
in on a dirty little (non) secret, Hannah was still filming 'Dancing
with the Stars' at that time which meant there was no way ABC
was going to let her damage one property to join another property while
filming…this doesn't mean she will not reappear later, but she couldn't
join the show at that moment.
Peter pulls the group date girls to
talk to them and lets them know that he cannot continue the group date
because he is not in the correct headspace after seeing Hannah. One of
the black women calls out Peter for cutting the date short
for Hannah (sadly I really do not know these ladies' names yet and
thanks to working cannot pay enough attention, so I will have to use
features until I catch up) she is not wrong. A bad move by the black
woman is to continue to harp on the cancelled date
behind Peter's back with the other women that is a strong way to have
the others snitch on you and make you sound bad in the background.
Peter spends much of his time in the
one on ones apologizing to the girls – Sydney gets the date rose (looked
up from a spreadsheet just in time to see her name in my closed
captions). Mykenna is supposed to be a certain age that I just
cannot believe and she also occasionally speaks about herself in the
third person, Cali-J is impressed by that.
One of the girls has had a bottle of
champagne that she apparently kept on a counter at home for about a year
waiting for a good moment (quick aside ALWAYS JUST DRINK YOUR CHAMPS
celebrate life not moments) , so she has brought that special
bottle to the mansion. She wants to take Peter aside but as she is
approaching Peter, Mykenna takes Peter away. She decides she wants to
confront Mykenna about this, as Mykenna tries to stick up for herself
she gets cursed at by the girl whose name I still
do not know. Stupidly the bottle of champagne was left outside by a
fireplace in a bucket with a blanket so of course Peter is walking by
with a different girl sees the champagne and he and the other girl
(Hannah Ann apparently) shake the bottle up and pop
it just as the champagne girl (I will eventually learn her name…I
think) is talking to the other girls inside the house some of whom
wisely ask her where/why she left her champagne unattended? Peter goes
to look for her because Kelsey (told you I would) came
by to look once (well not immediately, initially she and other girls
sat there thinking the pop could not have been THE bottle) she heard the
pop and immediately started crying and walking off. Peter tries to talk
to her but she Kelsey refuses to let him
in the bathroom, so he walks back to hang with Hannah Ann since Kelsey
didn’t want to talk to him. Kelsey then walks up and she starts
screaming at Hannah Ann and accusing Hanna Ann of deliberately trying to
steal her moment. Peter finally gets Kelsey to talk
and of course they run into another bottle of champagne because this is
the Bachelor house after all. So Peter and Kelsey pop the new bottle
and because "Kelsey says she is "not a classy bitch" all the time they
decide to drink from the bottle which cause
the champagne to bubble up and squirt all over Kelsey's face
embarrassing her some more. I know somehow the producers set this up
(like guiding Peter and Hannah Ann towards the first bottle) but I still
delighted in how well Kelsey fell into the trap and looked
"like a hot mess and she needs to go home" said by (the Asian woman?)
Seriously for the first few weeks these girls should never be on camera
without their names superimposed for lazy viewers like me.
Rose Ceremony:
The Black girl who called Peter out at
the group date is Natasha, she gets a rose, I happened to look up just
as she was getting it, closed captions for the win!
There is an Alexa on this show, how do
I know, because Peter said her name to give her a rose and my smart
speaker just spoke back to him!
Of course there is last rose drama
with Kelsey getting the last rose, as she is strategically placed side
by side with Hannah Ann.
For the final toast the group offers
to let Kelsey make the toast and she refuses claiming it would be better
for her to keep her mouth shut, she looks tremendously petty and
childish.
Group date time:
The girls get to meet Carson Kressley,
Janice Dickinson and the owner of Revolve clothing. I have such a great
Janice Dickinson story but I feel like the decency statute of
limitations (on my part) has not completely expired so I can only
tell that story in person.
The girls are going to have to pick
out clothes and walk a runway, one of the girls (again I am still
learning names) is having a breakdown about this task. Surprisingly
Kelsey is the girl that comes to help her – Sober Kelsey > Drunk
Kelsey.
Of course Mykenna is loving the opportunity to walk a runway.
Victoria F. is still freaking out and
chugging wine to overcome nerves (see if I am looking up at the right
time I learn the names…okay that is a lie, by next episode I will
probably be back to saying 'one girl' 'X girl' blah blah.)
Hannah Ann wears a wedding dress out on to the run way as Victoria F continues to freak out.
Victoria finally walks out on to the runway and of course owns it!
Kelsey takes a bottle out to the runway and gives it to Peter with a "We will be drinking this later!"
Victoria F's second outfit is lingerie
under a black trench and she pulls Peter to the runway for a kiss in
front of the crowd and the shocked girls – "I was really scared to do
lingerie but I am glad I did because it set me apart from
the other girls. YES I am {expletive deleted} hot!" (Sure girl this is
the first time you thought you were hot).
The final 2 girls are Hannah Ann and
Victoria so they are in a final walk off! Victoria "Watch me {expletive
deleted}win this bitch!" Easy now cocky tiger, Hannah Ann wins the walk
off which leaves Victoria in tears, except say it with
me HANNAH ANN IS A PROFESSIONAL MODEL, she was in her element, her win
gets her everything from Revolve, 40 bags of clothes, the over practical
packer in me immediately thinks "I hope the show is paying to send it
home cause that is impossible to pack."
In the evening portion of the date Victoria is telling Peter she is not sure the show is worth her mental health.
Kelsey gets a special champagne date with Peter who says he has been chilling the bottle all day for them.
Hannah Ann decides to tell Peter that
Kelsey is a bully, she claims that she was unable to sleep all of the
night before because of the stress of it.
Peter gives Victoria the group rose
and then immediately asks to speak to Kelsey on the side, Peter lets
Kelsey know that Hannah says she is bullying her and that she has called
her a "bitch" "fake" and a "princess." Kelsey says she is
not bullying Hannah and that she has been bullied in the past so she
would never bully "there is a difference between me saying not nice
words to her face and bullying." Kelsey goes back to the other girls
crying "apparently I am bullying some people" but
refuses to take the suggestions of some of the others, "why don't you
guys go and talk it out?" Will she last past the next rose ceremony…tune
in next week.
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