It is national Margarita day so the homie and I filled coffee cups with 3 shots of Patron, Pineapple, sorrel, lime juice and 1 shot of blue Curacao and took a social distance walk so anything typed from that moment is the work of my honoring the day.
I have been laughing for a solid week at the ‘hypocrisy’ of my Bach group.
The glee, the joy the ganging up on me because all three of my lovely ladies met the “this rose” is not for you fate in one show – I told y’all earlier in this season that I did not trust the “Katie is so nice” or “look at how mean these women are for ganging up on Sarah” sentiment because I believed then and now (plus had Bach group proof) that it is fun to pile on, gang up and share schadenfreude when someone who is cocky appears to be humbled (AARON IS NEVER HUMBLED).
The women who ‘attacked’ Sarah did so because the pack mentality is hard to shake especially when you are in ‘competition’ with others and they saw Sarah as a preening threat, they did not know the background with her and nor should they so when they saw a moment of weakness in her veneer and a chance to ingratiate themselves with each other they went for it and they went for it quickly, I do not subscribe evil to them, it was just the malice of the moment that unfolds. So too with my Bach group, I was leading (may still be, that will not be for long but I AM GETTING ON THAT BLOODY PODIUM) and I am cocky, so yup, I gloated, I continue to gloat and I WOULD HAVE WON IT ALL IF IT WAS NOT FOR THOSE MEDDLING KIDS (aka the younger contestants on the show knocking out my older contestant aka my 24/25 and 27 year OLD ladies they could not keep up against the 22 and 24 year olds…btw are we really sure Serena P is only 22?)
On to this week.
Where we try to pretend that these families are going to be okay with their young daughters marrying a man who cares more about his roommate than them.
Once again we start with an ad for Peloton while I quite literally drink a milkshake.
One of the podcasts I listen to says "watching Matt is exhausting" because of his constant activity.
Obvious Man Chris Harrison ("OMCH") tells the women "who is here for you" from their families, I have always found it strange the show does this, wouldn't a surprise bring extra joy or extra drama?
For Serena her mom, her dad and her sister Talia who OMCH says "Talia, your sister" like Serena would have been confused at another Talia being present.
For Rachael, her mom, her dad, her sister Trinity and the Grand Wizard I may have misheard some of this.
For Michelle her mom and dad.
For Bri "your best friend Bri" and her mom and her baby sister.
Michelle gets the first date.
HOMETOWN ONE:
Michelle's date plan -
Michelle is no idiot and knows that Matt loves to workout so her date starts with a bike ride. She then takes him to meet her class - that if we are being honest...she ABANDONED TO BE ON THE SHOW...If you look at when this show was shot, she left the classroom for this show. Her class asks kiddie questions of Matt and he calls them tough, much of this might be because he has spent a season speaking to some dim light bulbs where the biggest question was "can I steal him for a second?"
I wonder what these kids parents were told.
Time to meet the Parents:
Michelle's WHITE mom, and BLACK dad are ecstatic...why do I capitalize this, because this show is THAT way!
Ephraim, Michelle's dad takes her for a chat while telling us "she has had a couple of relationships that were not so good." Michelle tells her dad that if Matt proposes she would say yes. Matt tells Ephraim that he is willing to move to Minnesota if it is needed.
With her mom Michelle cries and tells her that she thinks Matt is the one.
Like I said Matt loves to be active, the family and Matt play a game of basketball.
Blah, blah, blah Matt and Michelle falling in love.
HOMETOWN TWO:
Rachael - Blindfolds Matt after asking if he trusts her and drives him in her roadster to an airstrip so they can jump out of a plane, if you know the backstory with Rachael and you have seen Get Out, you are thinking this plane is a set up.
The instructor selling them on this jump is not a motivational speaker.
In a terrible ad for skydiving Rachael's tandem jump does not go well and she and her partner CRASH into the ground! I am not ashamed to say I gleefully watched their 'landing' repeatedly.
.Rachael's crash brings her and Matt closer together.
Meet the Parents:
Rachael tells the family they went skydiving and the family seems shocked that she did it so I guess that is not something she normally does in her hometown?
Mom says "I always wanted to do it, you should have taken me with you."
Mom and Rachael have a chat and Rachael says "I feel really really confident in where we are at."
For the Matt and Dad chat they do it around a campfire...let's continue all of those themes, who put that cross shaped log on the fire? Racahel's dad is skeptical.
In his talk with Rachael the dad makes sure to sip his drink while grilling her, Rachael says "it might be a little naive of me" YUUUUUP.
Rachael is disappointed that Matt did not ask her dad for permission to marry her.
HOMETOWN THREE:
Bri want's to recreate their first date "when you almost killed me, you remember that?" Bri takes Matt off-roading on a clearly well worn path - to the point that you can see a car clearly just went through the same path the jeep is now taking.
Bri tells Matt that she is "terrified that I will not be able to give you the conventional family" with her dad missing from her life.
Meet the fam:
Bri's mom Lauren, her friend Bri and her fussy baby sister (which is an actual baby not just a term for a younger sibling). Bri's mom is not pulling punches in the group chat and pulls him to the side to talk.
Lauren tells us "there are hard questions that we may want to know." "Are you in love with her?" "I am falling for her." "Do you see Bri in your life?" "Absolutely!" It's so weird that I am more than a full high-school and most of college experience older than Bri's mom.
Bri tells Matt that she is falling for him and he...thanks her.
HOMETOWN FOUR:
And Serena P must have had a birthday in between her bachelor bio and the show because her age is listed here as 23.
Serena "Because I cannot take you to Canada I am going to take Canada to you" and hmm how does her family get to travel with the pandemic? Or do they now all live in the US?
Serena's big date is to teach/quiz Matt about Canada.
Matt you are RIGHT a toboggan is a hat and a sled!
Meet the fam:
Talia the sister is very bubbly, and the parents Rasna and I missed the dad's name seem pretty fun. I am suspicious of Serena's super enthusiastic laughter at simple things (maybe nervousness or drunkenness).
Matt tells the mom that he likes Serena "well I like to hear that" but "you can be in love with someone but there is a lot more work to do..." The mom asks "do you know how she feels about you?" Matt says "I have an idea"
Talia and Serena have a chat and Talia says "something is missing" she does not think that Serena is "smitten...I think you are in your head too much."
To the mom Serena tells her that she feels like something is missing...I would love to know for sure if the convo with the sis or the mom came first, I never trust this show's ordering of events as presented. Serena and Rasna think that manyof the problems here stem from Serena's bad last relationship...should have kept Abigail.
Serena says she is "not there yet" with accepting a possible proposal, she hoped her hometown would get her there but it did not.
Matt has a sit down with OMCH:
Matt tells OMCH that he felt like something was off with Serena the night before. OMCH tells him that they need to dive into it before another rose is handed out.
So hold on, you are able to eliminate 1 out of 4 women at a ceremony and the push is to go and talk to the person you are having a connection problem with? c.f. last week when Serena got the rose and I tried to point out the stupidity of Matt pushing through what was a friend zone relationship and then I gave up "If she was friend zoned before an activity that you enjoyed and now you are both discussing how little she liked it...oh well, seeking logic in this show is idiotic for me. "
Serena tells Matt that she does not "think that you are my person" and Matt just nods his head and then rubs his head for a long time without words then his first words were "Uhmm I don't know...It sucks to hear that...there was something off...It sucks to hear that because I just want the best for you" but I suspect he is catching himself from saying "I could have picked others." Serena says "I have been emotionally torn up about it" while crying with zero tears. Damn it, made me pause the show and immediately put on Sizzla
Serena smiles when she gets up to walk Matt out.
ROSE CEREMONY:
The women assemble and they keep looking for Serena. Michelle whispers "You guys is that it?" Bri "Serena, do you think she is coming?" Rachael "is she coming?"
Matt tells OMCH that he wishes he had that conversation with Serena weeks ago...FRIEND ZONE BRO! The Friend Zone should just be renamed on this show...
Matt learning from OMCH tells the waiting women "As you all can see Serena will not be joining us."
Matt tells the remaining women to think long and hard before they accept the rose.
Michelle gets rose one, Rachael rose two and Bri LEFT HER JOB FOR THIS SHOW, so of course she accepts the third rose. Bri is disheartened "knowing that I got the last rose."
BLOOPERS REEL:
Has Matt falling off his bike after Michelle warns him to not hit her bike with his...if you have watched this show for the last few weeks you will know exactly how he falls after that warning. Matt might be super fit, but rhythmic coordination is an issue.
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