I recall last year in February while recapping the Bachelor, talking about watching one of the whitest shows on TV during Black history month…this year we have a Black Bachelor a decent amount of POC, it is the first day of Black History month, and somehow this show still feels super white?
Matt campaigned for Romney, struggles to dance, thinks Victoria is “funny” and she seems to be a Trump fan...this season is a test on my “I don’t curse” creed and now reading rumors that Rachael might have been (could still be, hard to confirm while trying to avoid spoilers) a racist or a bigot and yeesh - can we just screen better? I don’t need this show to be the redemption vehicle for bigoted pasts. Too often it feels like we as black people are told to “get over it” or “X has changed they are no longer that person” meanwhile a black kid steals a stick of gum in high school and I forever hear that he/she is a “bad seed.”
There are millions and millions of good looking people thirsty for insta-fame, the show does not need to keep putting on problematic ones just to stir controversy. I am a totally stubborn, sarcastic, somewhat witty, delightfully cutting person, I am not unique, there are plenty of me available, put one of us on instead of a Victoria instead of a Rachael and please someone get Matt dancing lessons or a redemption video for that crime against culture that ended with him trying to run through Tik-tok dances for Magi in the most cringe of ways.
You know what, maybe the show shoehorned that Matt dancing scene into the other episode because it would be a crime against my people to start Black History Month with that.
The actual show starts again with a cold open. Then we cut to 2 pairs of girls walking; Kit and Victoria (self proclaimed OGs) and Ryan and Brittany (new girls) Victoria and Kit are sotto voce saying catty things about the new girls as they pass them…they are not exactly welcoming.
COCKTAIL PARTY:
The original girls who still consider themselves “the varsity squad” want to block the new girls from getting time with Matt. But before the party can start with Matt he addresses the ladies and says that he wants the toxic culture to end and says that the rumours about Brittany (that she was an escort, rumors propagated by Anna) could ruin her life.
Anna is freaking out as the source of the rumour.They could have used Horror movie music
Matt pulls Brittany aside to talk first and Brittany immediately lets Matt know that Anna told the whole house that she might be a prostitute. Anna, girl, you cannot kick that type of rumour without receipts because now when you google Brittany (I did not, spoiler fears) I am sure the prostitute accusation will be there.
MJ tells Anna that she needs to go talk to Matt, while Anna is freaking out and trying to figure out how to talk to Matt, Matt comes and finds her.
Anna’s version of what she spread in the house is a lot milder
than what she actually did, but Matt is not buying it. He tells her she does
not have a place in the journey anymore and then tells us that he has to create
a safe space for the women in the house.
Chelsea asks the new women if they feel bullied and if there is a toxic environment and of course Victoria pipes up to say “it is not” even while the new girls are expressing that they do not like the environment. Victoria is dropping fake apologies left and right.
Ryan in her time with Matt is breaking down and telling him
how toxic Victoria is…Bro Matt you should not have to see tears from these
women to realize that Victoria has been terrible. On the return to the group
Victoria decides the best tact to take towards Ryan is to grill her, insult
her and then dismiss her by walking away while Ryan is answering her. It is
hard to take Victoria seriously when she acts so bratty and while I try to
figure out what her outfit is.AND HOW HAS SHE COME THIS FAR IN LIFE BOUGHT THIS MANY DRESSES AND NOT FIGURED OUT WHAT BRAS TO WEAR??
You know it must be an intense night because other men (security/producers? And wait staff) show up on camera.
Victoria pulls Matt to the side and immediately starts with flattery “I love how you are handling that” she “knows” Matt can be simple. Matt is taking deep breaths to calm down “Now I’m doing the other women here a disservice by not making this a safe space for everybody…people’s words are so powerful, and when you said that Ryan is a ho for being a dancer” Victoria – “that was completely taken out of context” Matt – “Like, I’m just curious what context would calling someone a ho be acceptable to be taken in?” Victoria continues to stroke her hair…Matt “I just have a lot to think about here” Uhmm WHAT? Walk her ass out!
OMCH shows up and says “Cocktail party is over” Victoria storms off “Now that I found out Katie is the one who fed Matt information F#$# you Katie.”
Some of the girls can hear Victoria ranting but because I do not trust the show I do not know if they are for sure hearing this exchange or we are getting piped in sound “Like Ryan she is the shadiest bitch and I hope I do not get sent home for this…literally there is no one else who could marry him…if he is going to believe some idiot over me he is not my person…I am like trying to be positive, but if that like happens I will literally die.” Victoria literally does not know how the word literally should be used.
ROSE CEREMONY:
As the women line up Victoria continues “I need to sit down…I am going to throw up…I am like scared to go into this rose ceremony.”
Brittany gets the first rose, then Ryan, as Jessenia points out “that was definitely very telling…the new girls are getting reassurance from Matt.” Rachael gets the next rose, Serena P gets a rose, Magi, Kit, MJ and …Jessenia (whew 1) , Katie of course, Victoria ITM “Katie over me? Are you blind? Katie is disgusting, we have known that for weeks now.” As Katie returns to her spot on the dais Victoria has her arms folded. Abigail gets a rose (whew 2), Chelsea, and now the final rose and…BOOM ALL OF MY LADIES SURVIVED - “Serena C will you accept this rose?” Yeah buddy. Victoria is looking around in shock, I guess this is where OMCH pays dividends in being obvious “take a moment to say your goodbyes.”
Going home we have some queens (and Victoria), the beauty queen in Catalina, Mari, Lauren and Victoria with arms folded “I honestly feel so sorry for you that you would listen to hearsay and not all of the facts behind a situation…so goodbye.” Victoria keeps her arms folded and tells us that she would not hug him but then is angry that Matt just stared at her!
Victoria claims that she brought joy to the house “I am never dating another Matt ever…I hate that name now.”
The Next Day:
A Date card arrives via OMCH but he does not read it so that means points go to Serena P for reading it…I know this show knows about Bach-fantasy-leagues, they are setting us up!
RACHAEL ONE ON ONE:
Now that Victoria is gone Kit takes on the “literally” crown and “literally the fear is just eating me inside.”
Matt tells Rachael “today is your day, I just want to spoil you” maybe get her a white sheet?
“Today I’ve got a great friend of mine celebrity stylist Ty Hunter” how much of that is true Matt?
Ty’s facial hair needs some explaining, I just cannot do it.
This is one of those Bach dates where the woman gets to pick out a tonne of outfits, they never do this for the men.
After Rachael picks a dress Matt ‘gifts’ her some Louboutins, which she wears back into the group room while rocking her new red dress and eating up the stares of the assembled women. This show’s producers know how to twist a knife.
A group date card shows up and by default it lets us know that Kit is getting the next one on one, this leaves Abigail sad…cry, just let it out girl, you will feel better.
Evening portion:
Rachel shows up in the blue ball gown that Matt ‘picked out for her’ which allows her to match with Matt’s crushed blue velvet suit.
Matt asks Rachael why she thinks she has “never been in love before.” Rachael claims she has been scared, and does not think she deserves love (and Matt). Matt tells us that he is falling in love with Rachael…again read above…if she is what the rumours said this is absolutely messed up to have her date the black Bachelor, her family is going to be an issue…the date ends in a horse drawn carriage.
GROUP DATE:
It is cold, rainy and the girls are bundled up. The group meets up with farmer Ty (THE SHOW HAS CORNERED THE MARKET ON TYs). The ladies and Matt do some farming activities, and MJ freaks out in the chicken coup and Jessenia says “MJ is chickening out” and laughs at her own joke. The other girls are not fans of MJ’s today. As MJ chases Matt with an egg he runs into Pieper’s interview and makes out with Pieper…this causes tears amongst the group.
Evening Portion:
Brittany in an ITM looks like a completely different person and I was so happy for the Chyron because I was about to look up the ABC cast site to see who she was.
The first person to be pulled from the group is Chelsea when Matt tells her he has something for her outside. Matt lets us know the passage of time “We are over 5 weeks into this process” it is so rare the show lets us know the progression of time during the season so I appreciate Matt slipping the info in.
Abigail gets deep and tells Matt that her fear is that if she fully opens up to somebody she is afraid that they might walk out on her and her family like her dad did to her family. Matt says all the right things and reassures Abigail…then kissing, I try to see if Matt closes his eyes here because he seems to do that with the girls he cares more about.
Serena C. asks Michelle how her first group date felt, Michelle says the “activity was fun” but the emotional part is hard. Serena C. may not get much time with Matt but she is a glue damn it, this show needs her.
Michelle’s alone time with Matt has his hand on her legs and his eyes closed for the kiss.
Matt continues to seek safe spaces for the women so he wants to talk with MJ to make sure she was not one of the instigators. Matt tells MJ that he heard she was one of the “antagonists” and “causing the divide.” MJ says I “lead by example” but uhmm MJ what are you leading people to?
When she returns to the girls she confronts them and says “I lead by example” and Jessenia shocking me admits that she is the one that told Matt about MJ. Jessenia calls out the “lead by example” and points out that she helped to lead people to attack the new girls. MJ is demanding an apology and Jessenia is rightly laughing off the request.
Flash to the hotel suites and Kit gets her one on one date card which is a dinner invite to Matt’s place and this causes her to cry “because cooking means so much to me.”
Back to the group date and Abigail gets the date rose and I fist pumped…damn I need this pandemic to end, I gotta get out!
KIT’S ONE ON ONE:
And Matt is lighting candles and dusting?
Bro, aren’t you staying at a resort? We can stop the faux nonsense. Kit “My mom is a fashion designer…A lot of my life is like gold Bentleys and red carpets” Kit says this with an air of weariness, THE STRUGGLE!
Matt says when he goes out to eat he likes to order dessert first and I have a hard time with believing he eats that much dessert, that is my struggle- believing him. Then again, it might be a trick to realize once you have had your dessert fill, then X is how much more calories you can consume?
Matt wonders what their life together would look like and Kit says “tonight” Matt is initially confused by that. Kit tells Matt that she is beginning to fall in love with him, while Matt is presenting her the rose she looks so young curled up on the couch with her hand on her cheek and I really would not be shocked if Chris Hansen walked in.
Next day as the group setting occurs we get an ominous knock, a date card arrives and MJ and Jessenia are about to do a 2 on 1, the show does a tonne of comparison image work as we see the girls get ready (tonnes of hair spray) one has her hair down, the other has her hair up , they roll up their suitcases to opposite sides,
enter the car on opposite sides, walk through their own sides of the door and sit across from each other on ‘the couches of destiny.’
Of course the ladies are arguing while they wait for Matt. MJ keeps saying that she brings peace, tranquility, harmony and other such words that I do not think she knows the meaning of.
Jessenia has the correct dismissive attitude
Blooper Reel:
The women wear buckets of feed while they search for “a golden horseshoe” and have to attempt to prevent the goats in the pen from emptying their buckets of feed.
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