I am starting to get that sense that we are at that part of the season where I think white leads are going to winnow the group down to the 'passable minority' and a bunch of basic white guys. It was not helped by how Katie was with Thomas while welcoming in Blake with open arms when Blake seems like more of a fame chaser than Thomas (third straight Bachelorette season for Blake). Do we think Blake is DM'ing Michelle currently from the resort or does he wait till he gets back home?
And if you think I am overreacting
that a white lead could still harbor racial indifference/racially
troubling attitudes by pointing to white leads picking a minority for
their winner (which by the way, good luck finding many) I submit
Sean Lowe to you who despite being married to an ethnic woman thought
he needed to publicly announce that he is boycotting the franchise that
made him famous because OMCH was booted. And if you want even more "Of
course these are the ones who support him"
look at the difference in what many of the white leads said about
OMCH's departure and how it was viewed by the ethnic participants (since
the show conspicuously has so few POC leads) -
https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/pictures/chris-harrisons-franchise-exit-bachelor-nation-reacts/tanner-tolbert-14/ .
Katie on a podcast could not name FOUR countries in Africa (https://youtu.be/DuD_DZ-Pmt8?t=4224 it is cued up for you so you do not have to watch the whole podcast, see how nice I am?)…just saying…see above. But seriously FOUR, JUST FOUR!!
On to the show!
Hey did you know that they are at the Hyatt Regency Tamaya Resort and Spa? If you didn't that means you do not keep your eyes open at the start of every show.
Blake is on the couch of destiny freaking out the guys "you need a one on one, otherwise you are behind." Justin reads a date card while I try to figure out how Mike the virgin is still here.
One on one:
Katie jumps into Greg's arms while we cut back to the hotel and Michael is raising good questions – can he go into hometowns with so many questions about he and Katie when he has to consider his kid and his in-laws.
Back to Katie and Greg trying to reenact a cheesy romance made-for-TV film.
Because the show cannot travel they go back to the move of recreating someone's hometown on set…so instead of Pike Place Market we get Katie Place Market and of course they throw fish at each other and Greg squeals and squirms at the incoming thrown 'fish' turns out it was a fake fish but he was still afraid. Greg is NOT the most athletic man on his throw he destroys some lights.
To make sure the audience likes Michael even more the show shows him doing a video call with his son.
Evening portion:
Katie tells Greg she is worried he is going to leave – Greg does not give the most convincing answer until he slips in that he cannot wait to do hometown and show his "family the girl that I am falling in love with." Katie says Greg telling her he is falling in love with her is all she needed to hear.
As I said above they want to recreate movies and so because it cannot be a "Seattle date without rain" they make out in the rain like it is 'The Notebook'
yes A(deleted) I paid attention when we dated and you put that movie on (okay that is cap I just know it is a big part of the movie but I basically napped while you watched).
A date card arrives and Blake reads it so slowly that if the producers didn't tell him to read it that slowly I would think English is his second language. Mike the virgin gets the solo date by virtue of not hearing his name on the group date card. But Brendan says out loud what the entire audience has been thinking "Why am I still here?"
then "a group of great guys went home." Brendan decides to go and knock on Katie's door, I am very suspicious of the editing here I feel like there are some timeline shenanigans. Katie tells him "I like that you are bold and coming here and checking on me…but what I will say that is hard for me is, because of hometowns being next week I don't know that we can get there in time…because of you coming here and talking to me I don't know that it would be right making you go through that [the group date tomorrow]" Brendan goes and knocks on Blake's door as he is rolling his [designed for drama because no way he was on a show for 6 weeks with just a small carry on] suitcase out and as usual Blake is shirtless as he answers the door and groggy (it is clearly late at night) they hug good bye. To say Brendan's BOLD plan backfired would be an understatement, Katie just needed to keep a tall white guy past the previous rose ceremony because this is what the show is.
Group Date:
The guys walk in to a courtyard and there are art pieces all over - some of the pieces are by Jacqueline Secor "some of these pieces are her very own" and the guys are afraid to say that the flower pictures look like vaginas.
When Blake is asked to comment on a painting he calls it "messy" and "aggressive" and Jacqueline says "it is a self-portrait" and Andrew S jokingly says "botched that."
Michael has to present his artwork first and he sculpted what he termed "rear view" and it is a sculpture of a butt that someone terms "a very muscular butt." Andrew and Justin do passable paintings with Andrew's about sushi and he says Katie loves sushi and "I am looking to eat my way to her heart" with a laugh that was not needed but reinforced the double entendre,
Blake's turn "this is a physical visual representation of one of the most amazing things that humans are able to do on a daily basis" after telling us that you cannot play it safe…try to remember that on Tayshia's date he sculpted a penis for the craft project here we do not know what he painted because the whole thing has a black box. Katie and Blake are bloody similar.
Evening Portion:
Blake grabs Katie first. "My mom is going to love you" "oh so you think there is a next week for you." But then Blake tells Katie that he is not in love with her yet, but the thinks he can get there.
Justin breaks out a proper painting in his alone time with Katie and it is a painting of butterflies and roses and it looks good. Katie eats his face.
Michael tells Katie "no one can love you like I can." Katie eats his face.
Andrew has played football for "20 straight years" but he is "willing to be done" if Katie wants him to stop. Katie tells him to keep doing what he loves and they will work it out, a very nice answer but the cynic in me thinks Katie is planning to let him go so she can say anything comforting here because it will not harm her. Katie eats his face.
Andrew recreates their one on one by hanging fairy lights and hoisting Katie to pick up an envelope in which he has written "I am falling for you."
Michael gets the group date rose after Katie tells all the other guys why they are special. 2 out of 3 of my fantasy league roster now have hometown dates, if I lose this season it will be an epic collapse.
Morning after and this means one on one with Mike P:
"I thought I would never date a virgin." The pair traipse into the woods to meet "Cuddle Queen Jean." Mike and Katie are told to change into some gear and come out in all white looking like they have joined a cult. Jean teaches them a hug she is calling the oxytocin hug and Mike and Katie are nervous. Jean tells us "what I noticed at first is a lot of nervous laughter…and typically that is not because things are funny, it is because things are awkward" oh Jean you cuddle queen sage. Mike brings up his mom a lot and in an awkward way especially when this is coupled with talking about Katie cuddling him.
But when I think he will only say this to us in confessional while his arms are wrapped around Katie lying in the woods "you remind me of my mom."
At the hotel the guys are speculating that Mike is going home. Back to the date and Mike is telling us that he cannot wait to introduce Katie to his family and have a great "dinner tonight" oh bro you are in for a kill shot – Katie comes back crying and requests a hug from Mike, she does this often; she requests comfort from the person she is sending home. On his departure "I know what kind of wife you are going to be, I know what type of mother you are going to be" just leave bro do not be putting your 'values' on her, what if she does not want to be a mother has she failed?
Back in the hotel the guys see the suitcase getting rolled out and they feign pain for Mike but these guys can do math, they now know the chances of getting a rose just improved dramatically. Actually hold on, that one is on me I should not assume they can do math.
No cocktails just a rose ceremony:
Tayshia looks absolutely bored as Katie tries to tell her and Kaitlyn about how important her decision making tonight will be. You could convince me that Tay Tay's edible hit just before that meeting and she realized "whoops that was the sleep gummy not the chill gummy" she has her head planted firmly on her hand and her elbow firmly on the top of the couch and they do not budge.
I assume you have been paying attention – of course Blake gets the first rose and just before she says it I look at the group look at the shading and say "Justin" which means Andrew is going home. As is the move, Andrew comforts Katie on his way out. Andrew cries in the 'limo' "obviously she knows what husband she is looking for and who that is going to be and it is not me." Katie tells her producer that she was not fully confident about her choice.
Now I have 3 of the 4 remaining guys and remember from the start I told y'all I wanted Blake and was willing to wait for him for my team - can you imagine if I had ALL FOUR?!? There is a chance I could double the next closest team (again barring someone reappearing or a men tell all mega incident).
Morning after:
Justin says he was stressed out and emotional with the decision coming down to him and Andrew. My DVR's close captioned knows this show's tricks and labels the music "apprehensive music" as we see Katie sitting on her couch while a voice over tells us that she is sad about letting Andrew go. There is a knock on Katie's door and voila there is Andrew, he says he is here to make sure there goodbye ends with a smile on her face.
As Katie walks him out we see a focus on Andrew pulling an envelope out of his pocket and he tells Katie "when I am gone read that" the card makes Katie break down "If you change your mind I'll be waiting." Katie runs out of her room to look for Andrew and Andrew is weirdly taking the stairs instead of the elevators because drama? Katie catches up to him "Andrew, I just want to give you a hug" and leaps into his arms (bad romance movie).
"If there is a way to stay longer would you want to…you can no, you can say yes." Andrew says no "I want my future wife to choose me and she didn't choose me so I had to say no." Katie walks him to the car and says "one last kiss?" Katie eats his face.
Bloopers?
Greg tells a dad joke.
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