What do we actually know about Katie? If I told you to describe Katie and not use the phrase 'sex positive' what can you tell me about her? And, do we actually know she is sex positive or do we just know that she owns a vibrator? To be clear, I am not saying she is NOT sex positive I am saying our only proof of this is a vibrator and a lot of references to it but the biggest sex related moments so far this season has been her banning the men from pleasuring themselves THE THING SHE IS MOST KNOWN FOR when it comes to her own life!
Some gave me grief at the start of
this season for saying that Katie being the Bachelorette was a suspicious
choice (since we knew so little about her) and one that felt like the producers
just wanted the easy to shape narrative, well you have had almost a full season
and I ask…what do you know? Unfortunately the things I now most associate with
her is a traumatic experience and a vibrator, I hate that that is the dichotomy
Fantasy league wise, this is the last
episode that could damage my path to victory, the next closest team has a
SIGNIFICANT amount of ground to make up but this is literally the time of the
Olympics, this is the season of comebacks that can haunt a front runner I will
not claim early victory only to find out that I was second after all - https://sports.yahoo.com/olympics-cyclist-road-race-anna-kiesenhofer-van-vleuten-gold-medal-100741168.html.
On to the yelling – I bet these guys come in carrying some 'zingers' they already took shots at each other during the season so I gotta imagine they are going to turn the Men tell all into a rap beef.
Wait what is this? Actual show content
before the 'men tell all' this week we start with Tayshia and Katie on a walk
AGAIN THESE WOMEN ARE THE SAME AGE, but it feels like Tayshia is the mom
talking to her middle school daughter about her first crush even while talking
about grown folk stuff.
While the ladies are walking we get the show tugging on our heart string with Michael calling his son via a video call and telling his kid he is on a work trip and the plan is that once he gets home they will vacation for one week. Michael's son is confused why his dad is gone for such an extended period and the kid says "Maybe daddy left because he don’t want to see me." This causes Michael to break down and it even solicits a hug from a producer!
Can we be real though…producer hug aside, if this show REALLY CARED…they would let him go home to see his child and wait for Katie there since, they are going to Hometowns next anyway.
Michael goes off to knock on Katie's door and she giggles like a school girl at his appearance. Michael sits Katie down and starts to tell her how things are going and she goes from confused parakeet look to confused puppy look as Michael tells her he has been having a great time with her but his son is missing him. Michael tells Katie "I cannot focus on anything else" "you know my decision to leave hurts you too." Katie does not seem to care about the why of Michael's leaving "I did not see this coming…I saw us going to the end…this is confusing for me right now."
Katie does not express any emotions about the son missing his dad…"I had so many things I was going to tell you." It finally starts to dawn on Katie that she should support Michael going home…I am going to let the emotional moment play out and not delve into the revisionist history that Michael creates with the stop watch gift that he gave Katie at the start of the season and gives her again here.
Tayshia and Kaitlyn host the 'Men tell
all' and a live studio audience – Michael made it to the show with a beard, Tre
has had a bit of a glow up and Connor has learned how to button his shirt. The
brief season recap reminds us that some of the guys are sociopaths. Aaron vents
about Cody having "reckless social media posts" and claims Cody's
goal was to be famous.
Karl has a kernel of truth in his disjointed attempt to defend Cody pointing out that the guys all gang up on a new person each week. Karl claims he was always talking about Thomas when he told Katie that someone was there for the wrong reason, Quartney calls him out immediately as a fraud.
Karl tries to be his motivational speaker self and stands up and asks for call and response from the audience. The bro-sterone kicks in and Brendan stands up then Tre but Karl walks around Tre to confront Brendan.
Tre just because you might be a simp
does not mean all the guys thought the same way coming into the show.
Hunter owns up to "some dishonesty on the part of the top 4." Hunter says there is a difference between "falling in love" and "being in love." Kaitlyn's face seems incapable of reacting to all the fighting between the men.
Connor gets the hot seat (and my
opponents get some points) –
We get to relive the fact that Connor is apparently a bad kisser: we get the audience plant that interrupts to come on stage and bust them gums with Connor.
Kaitlyn hides her face while the makeout is happening because it cannot register proper emotion? Connor says that he was checking out the attack kisser whose name is Tara while he was sitting with the rest of the guys. Please tell me that whole audience was vaccinated and tested because that feels like such a bloody risky kiss.
Andrew S is next on the hot seat – we get
to relive his horrible fake British accent and the goodbye with Katie.
Michael gets the hot seat and I get some points – Kaitlyn wipes away a tear at watching the recap, Tayshia looks like she is watching a Disney movie in her head
and Hunter looks distraught.
To lighten the mood we are shown how
bad the guys are at trash talking.
The stupid WOWO challenge is brought
back up - Michael proves to be smarter than the other men.
So because Katie is not interesting enough we get Kaitlyn and Jason's engagement video?
The guys stand up on the stage to applaud the engagement and it is a collection of exposed ankles and socks.
I am not a fan of Katie's dress as she
comes out (though I fear some of this might be the contrast of her dress up
against Tayhia's and Kaitlyn's). When Katie is told that Michael would still be
willing to give it a shot she says that she has moved on. In the least shocking
moment Tre rambles on but still has no chemistry with Katie – Tre accuses
Thomas a lot about trying to get shine but does everything in his power to
constantly be featured.
Then proving me right that black men are just a prop to Katie's journey she listens glassy eyed to Aaron telling her he "will always be in your corner" and says " Aw, thanks Thomas…oh sorry Aaron."
Of course Connor plays a ukulele and sings "the guys on this season have got me believing in bromance" and all the guys join in.
Thomas comes in via video chat looking
smooth! Thomas asked why Katie had such a sudden switch when she sent him home –
Katie says she went with her intuition but that doesn’t explain why she had to
grandstand the moment, oh well.
Bloopers:
As always there is an insect
infestation. We also learn that Katie might not be coordinated and Michael A
was conceived in a dune buggy. The entire cast loved dancing.
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