A brief word on podcasts, I like to joke that Bachelor in Paradise ("BiP") cannot "really be spoiled" but there is a level of spoiler that can occur and so many of the pods are spoiling the show actively; for instance 'Bachelor Happy Hour' repeatedly had Becca and Tia talking about men they met on the beach but...the women of Bach HH had not yet appeared on the show so for every guy they mentioned it meant that they survived the upcoming rose ceremony.
Now off to Lil Jon and his consistently good voice overs.
We return to the argument between Aaron and Thomas about Tammy, with Thomas sounding pretty reasonable saying Tammy can do what she wants.
Hey grocery store Joe, maybe shut up about Tammy here? "Tammy clearly doesn't want to be happy, she puts herself in bad situations because maybe it is exciting for her" you were just 2 episodes ago crying that you should not have come to BiP. There is a lot of chatter online that Joe is getting the 'Future Bachelor' edit but if so he is trying really hard to lose it. Hey Joe you know how you know your take is a bad one? Demi agrees with you saying that [Tammy] does these things for attention DEMI FIXED HER MOUTH TO CALL SOMEONE ELSE OUT FOR SEEKING ATTENTION "She likes to stir sh!t up, she likes to be a bitch, she likes to be malicious."
This you Joe?Tammy takes Aaron to the side and tries to talk to him and Aaron is mad because the house pities him he says that Tammy "completely betrayed my trust." Aaron's biggest issue is that Tammy is with his enemy, funnily this might be an Aaron thing (using my limited scope of Aaron knowledge) in law school a girl I was involved with fooled around with one of my rivals and the biggest pain was not that she fooled around with someone else (we were not exclusive) it was who she did it with.
Tammy is left in tears (in an amazing dress [though bad bra set up]) and she realizes that after the way Aaron has treated her she now has to lean towards Thomas.
Riley is rapping to Maurissa and look I like Riley but this rap is TERRIBLE but Maurissa loves it, though I am guessing it was more just the fact that someone composed something for her and not the quality of what was rapped.
Karl takes Deandra to the side for a conversation and she offers him back his bracelet because she said it was meant for someone that Karl was going to spend time with and that is no longer her.
Karl is not one to take rejection well so he is telling us that "something does not sit right...I know cheesy ass Chasen is chasing some Bull sh!t and he is trying to serve it to Deandra."
Ivan calls Karl "the definition of a wild card...this can't be good" as Karl leaves the bar to go look for Chasen and Deandra.
Karl asks Chasen to go for a talk, Noah throws some shade on Karl's gift for being a Pandora bracelet and says that is something he got his mom back in the day. He also calls the necklace that Chasen gave Deandra a Cuban Necklace - did he mean Cuban links? Bless his heart. Karl asks Chasen if he normally gives bracelets to women and Karl says Chasen just did it to be a topper.
Demi calls the jewelry "ugly ass pieces...no one wants that, spare her" I think Demi is jealous she did not get iced.
Tre tells us that he does not feel that he will get a romantic rose and he and Tahz "are not right for each other" so Tahz is now 0-2 with that bloodline. Cynic in me thinks Tre did not want to risk getting to the rejection point.
Lance comes in to tell the group that something that has never happened before will happen and Becca Kufrin the former Bachelorette comes to the beach, and the guys go hunting.
Rose Ceremony:
And Wells is conducting it again. The guys all knew that Tre left but then they are all stunned to find out that Tahz has also left which again damages the match-ups since with Becca there if Tahz had remained only 2 guys were going to have to go home, Ivan in particular feels defeated.
Natasha gives her rose to Brendan, Maurissa to Riley, Serena to Joe, Noah to Abigail, Jessenia to Chris "I cannot express how happy I am to give you your first rose."
Tammy to Thomas, Demi to Kenny, Mari to James, the camera cuts to Becca and she looks like she is reconsidering being back in this line up situation. Deandra gives her rose to...[WAIT A MINUTE Chasen is crowing that his rose is in the bag, never a good sign "tonight I went through a lot of drama, but I am feeling good, I am going to walk away with that rose with Karl interrupting us multiple times calling me a scumbag it was kind of like his hail Mary his last straw to survive and I think she saw right past that. Karl you can go pack your bags get out of here sayonara"
all of that is being said while I notice that Deandra is NOT wearing the necklace that Chasen gave her]...IVAN, Deandra gave her rose to Ivan. Of course Becca as the new center of drama gets to give the final rose and Aaron says "Becca standing up there with a rose looks like she is in her natural habitat, like you see a dolphin swimming in the ocean it is something so beautiful like it is built to do that."
Aaron gets the rose from Becca while being called the funniest person on the beach AARONS ARE ALL FUNNY! Here is the thing about Aaron getting the rose, the only guys left were Aaron, Chasen, Karl and Connor...now make your choice!
Karl on the way out says he is happy that Deandra "did not end up with Cheesy Chasen" Connor on his exit feels like he is working on an audition reel.
Next Day:
Demi is reveling in having Kenny over Mari and intimates that she is enjoying rubbing it in Mari's face...c.f. above with Demi talking about Tammy.
As Demi says she "me and Kenny both just as horny for each other, I cannot see anyone coming between us, I am not worried at all about that" we have introduced to the beach Tia listed as 'Officially over Colton' "and now he is navigating dating men." Should I point out that Tia and Becca are currently hosting a podcast together?
Tia starts interviewing the guys, first is Thomas, and it freaks Tammy out. Next Tia talks to Kenny (who Joe says is exactly her type) and Demi immediately starts to be mean "the only thing worse than Tia's gaydar is her denim shorts." Uhmm didn't you kiss Colton? Demi also says that Tia and Colton were exchanging "hot Goss" which really just feels like her once again acting like Colton's gayness is something that can be insulted.
Kenny goes to talk to Demi about the prospect of Tia asking him on a date, Demi's light starts to die behind her eyes. Kenny is not strong at negotiating since he asks Demi whether she would go on a date with someone else if they asked her out obviously she is going to say "no" in this instance, saying "yes" would immediately give him the permission he is trying to seek.
Tia asks Kenny if he would like to go on the date and he says yes. Mari immediately says to Demi "payback, at least you didn't know her and thought you were friends."
Abigail is starting to be concerned that she and Noah are not a solid couple. Tammy being the voice of reason on the show "no one is a solid couple until they both have that conversation [she then points to Jessenia and Ivan] we thought this was a solid couple and look how that worked out" to laughter from Ivan and Jessenia.
Abigail goes to talk to Noah she asks Noah why are they holding "back from being full fledged" Noah hints that they are just slightly more than friends. Noah says it is hard for him to do things and "get response that are kinda just like 'Meh'." Noah is worried that they might have gotten too comfortable and may not get to where they need to by the end of the show. The couple breaks apart...fades apart?
Abigail is in tears because she thinks she has hurt Noah and this is something she "always" does.
Tia and Kenny's date:
They meet up with a trio of persons who are going to play volleyball against them and then the trio disrobe to play volleyball.
"I'm not showing my china pot...this is sacred, this is bomb" that is how Tia describes her desire to keep her bottoms on and her lady bits while planning to go topless.
Tia has no clue at this point that Kenny has ZERO problems with getting naked, she thinks his concession to go naked while she goes topless is magnanimous not realizing he was probably itching to drop trou. Tia asks Kenny if he has been in the Boom Boom room Kenny admits that he was in the room with Demi "did you F#@k her?" "I am going to be murdered in my sleep, Tia is a bit afraid of Demi. Cut to Demi "if Tia is trying to take my man, I will burn this beach down."
Michelle actually gets a good promo for her Bachelorette season!
(I await being told that I am not right here). With the Bachelor delayed is Michelle’s season getting the Bachelor budget? Are we finally about to see equality in this franchise?
Joe and Serena are glowing in their bond "nothing can get in our way" oh Joe why would you tempt the fates err producers in such a way? OF COURSE it is now time to bring Kendall on, who is telling us that "I definitely miss Joe...I hope he is excited to see me because I am excited to see him." Kendall gets to the beach and instead of introducing herself to anyone says "do y'all know where Joe is?" Kendall immediately marches over to Joe "Hey Butthead, want to go talk?" Joe says yes...
Bloopers:
Becca gets lost while trying to do an ITM because she is fascinated by Riley working out.
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