“So I’ve only kissed 4 guys that were my boyfriend…I am not
a virgin” I find that sentence so suspicious A. who counts how many people they
have kissed and B. was that her leaving an out if a 1000 guys respond “We
kissed her” or a 1000 girls…she can always respond with “I said ‘that were my
boyfriend’ I didn’t lie!”
One of these girls has a mom coming fresh out the federal
pen…it might be the only thing interesting about her.
A lot of peeps were apparently annoyed at how long the show
took to start BUT that is for those of you still crazy enough to watch this
show live…I have never and could never watch this show live, more power and
prayers to those of you who can.
“I have not dated a virgin since I was 12” this is the first
intro and I suspect the night is going to just get worse. Plenty of cheesy
intros like fake butterflies emptied on to the ground to say “I have no more
butterflies,” play on names “be the Juan,” popping a balloon shaped like a
cherry “to pop your cherry,” pulling a card with a V on it “Took your V card,”
giving him a “Sweet Georgia peach,” coming out in a sloth costume - this one
broke me and I had to take a temporary gym break. 2 beauty queens are here from
the same competition – this is serious. A wardrobe stylist pulls up in a cop
car. Many of the girls speak a second language/have an accent so Bri fakes an
Aussie accent. 2 girls have on the same dress. One presents him with a dog and
yet another comes in a horse drawn carriage and gives him a slipper thus
getting the chyron job title of ‘Cinderella.’
Looks like there was a proposal at one of these watch
parties but I refuse to confirm by slowing down my DVR as I speed past these
wasted moments.
The girl who brought the dog interrupts Colton and other
girls one on one time 3 times for 4 encounters.
There is a teary eyed retrospective of Chris Harrison’s time
as host…is he dying?
The rose ceremony occurs and Catherine the girl who brought
the dog and kept interrupting gets the final rose, this feels like a clear
producers’ pick.
