Infrequently updated consistently funny

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Scrabulous finally blocked (disabled) for good?

Because of my insomnia and my addiction to word games and books (I finished a novel tonight in just 3 hours because I could not put it down and I could not sleep), I logged on to facebook (is it really logging on if your sign in is permanently imprinted?) and entered my scrabulous game. I finally managed to win a game against Mukund (with a spectacular end game - pat on own back) clicked on 'next game' and received this message: Scrabulous is disabled for US and Canadian users until further notice. If you would like to stay informed about developments in this matter, please click here.

Something tells me it has a lot to do with this!

Kind of sucks since I have heard nothing but bad things about the 'new' official Scrabble app added to Facebook. Oh well, forced rehab might be good for me.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

What the hell WNBA?

Look I know you are a new league, that no one really pays attention to, but, that does not mean you have to hand down crap for suspensions. And just because you are a female-league does not mean you should punish a male coach unnecessarily harshly, and harder than a girl who SUCKER PUNCHED HIM!!!

Look, the video and most peeps at the event say he was not trying to push Lisa Leslie, she was rushing at him, he had his hands up she ran into a massive man, she fell backwards, and you suspend him for 2 games??? Meanwhile the chick that sucker punched him in his back, receives only a 1 game suspension?? Wow, way to show you are a true crap league.

If he had actually attacked one of the girls I would have said throw the book at him, give him 15 games, but people who threw punches like Candace Parker one of the INSTIGATORS got single game suspensions.

You are a stupid league (there I said it, tired of being PC), a league that thrives at the mercy of the NBA. Most peeps only support you because everyone feels guilty if they do not show at least a modicum of support for womens' athletics. 9 out of 10 fans (made up stat) would prefer to watch womens' college basketball before your 'professional' league. So while you are handing down crap suspensions, how about you just suspend the whole damn league and leave more time for baseball on my tv?

And if anyone doubts my view that you are a crap league: A 50 year old was just signed to a contract! Nancy Lieberman was just signed by the Shock!

Now of course I have brought down the value of the blog, WNBA posts more than once in a single month...uh oh.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

WNBA brawl = relevancy for 15 minutes.

First things first, I had no idea the WNBA season had even started! I know I say this every year, but unless something happens to let me see a game on TV (like accidentally stumbling on a game) I never know when the damn season is on (not that I am ever looking for it).

Anyway, there was a huge brawl in the WNBA tonight...and of course all of a sudden the WNBA is mentioned on Sports radio. Thing is, no one mentions any highlights or about any of the other games that were played, the brawl was the last 5 seconds of the game and that is all anyone cares about.

Let us be honest, if the NBA itself was not so insanely successful, the WNBA would be DEAD! That league cannot sustain itself! I can pretty much name the starting 5 of any team in the NBA, I cannot name 5 girls total in the WNBA, and this is a league that sports TEXAS players and I still cannot name them.

Anyway, peeps are over-reacting that one of the male coaches may or may not have shoved one of the 'ladies' during the brawl. What is clear, is that he was trying to protect one of his players who was in the melee, if he did shove Lisa Leslie, so be it. I do not think he was trying to 'attack' a woman and I do not think he was intentionally at any point trying to hurt a woman. I believe that he was doing the rational thing which is trying to defend himself in a natural manner (Without throwing a punch) because she THREW A PUNCH AT HIM! Look if she is going to attack him as if she is a man, he has every right to defend himself to the best of his ability. I am just so happy he did not punch her (because that would be harder to defend) because even if he were in the right he would 'forever be in the wrong'.

--Pushing someone backwards in a brawl is natural, whether they are male or female

Bloody funny that this fight occurred in Detroit, the sight of the last major Bball brawl, and that Rick Mahorn is again involved as a 'peacemaker'

Crappy video for now, I am sure someone will upload a better one but as a commenter on youtube said "Who the hell DVRs a WNBA game?"

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

I miss you too much for this to be safe...vol 1.435

I miss you,
You were so good to me. When others forsook me, you were there. You were often with me when nothing else would soothe. When I could not eat in the mornings, you were there.

You were amazing on my lips. So soft, so smooth so sweet. You caressed my lips, you were gentle on my tongue. Yes too much of you could initially give me a quick headache, but you were instantly forgiven and you always soothed my head. When sore, I could hold you to my chest and you would make things feel ok.

It has been 5 weeks and I have not had you. I am wrecked without you. I am lost without you. I find myself, trying to find substitutes for you. Cookies, cakes, vague hook ups, transgressions...I have strayed.

I have found myself making Kool-Aid because of you! KOOL AID? I miss your sugar, so now I have craved sugar. I am trying to lose weight and you have me drinking kool-aid. I had not made Kool-aid since I was a teenager.

I love you, I think I have to come back to you, this has been a miserable break. Maybe I can take you in small doses? Maybe I can control myself around you? Can I trust myself to have you back in my house?

We were together for 26 years. I was wrong to abandon you, so what if you were bad for my diet, what are wash board abs if I am lonely at night?

I want you back, I miss cream!

Obama, New Yorker Cover...

Ok let us get this out off the bat: I love satire, I love when peeps push the envelope, I do not think this is one of those times!

The New Yorker magazine decided to put up a cartoon on its cover with Barack and his wife fist bumping while the American flag burns in the fireplace. Obama is in Muslim garb, his wife is wearing an Afro (note she does not have one in real life), and camo clothing, with an Ak-47 on her back and spare ammo, in the background is a portrait of America's #1 enemy Osama bin-Laden.

The NY'er is defending its decision by releasing this press release: "“On the cover of the July 21, 2008, issue of The New Yorker, in ‘The Politics of Fear,’ artist Barry Blitt satirizes the use of scare tactics and misinformation in the presidential election to derail Barack Obama’s campaign.”
(wanted to make sure their statement was in there)

Look it is all well and good to do satire, but come on, on your front cover, you put up that sensational image, it was there to provoke but the problem is, in this climate where so many see Barack and his wife as the Anti-american candidate (and if you doubt me, look at the protests of his speech here in San Diego) putting something like that on the cover not only sparks debate (which is good) it re-enforces stereotypes...BAD!

Come on, was it necessary to give his wife an Afro, to have them fist bump? Why put Obama the non-muslim in full garb? And of course to re-enforce the muslim = bad and osama = obama mindset, let us just throw a picture of Obama in the background and burn the flag!

Look racism is still prevalent in America, no matter how much peeps want to pretend it is not and sweep it under the rug. A cover that makes Obama out to be a threat to the country and his wife a BLACK PANTHER (because trust me, that is the image that comes across, especially to the older-voting demographic that he so desperately needs) is irresponsible and does not come across as satire.

Again, why re-enforce the fears that some harbor? Why could you not put this in an EDITORIAL?

I read somewhere that 15% of the country thinks Obama is muslim, thanks NY'er for re-enforcing that. And this is even after the Rev. Wright controversy. Look we all know many people are stupid, hell some of my own friends are stupid (they are not close), why help their close-mindedness by making him look muslim? Since we know that America is not ready for a Muslim president?

As a commenter on noted, The New Yorker would never have taken the chance to put a cartoon of John Mccain on the cover as a Slave owner, or a Redneck gun toter, but Obama was fair game like this?

Shame on you New Yorker, what could have been a social commentary is now just a blatant attempt to sell magazines

I like this alternate cover that was proposed via The Dish Rag By Elizabeth Snead that I found on La

Sorry the blog has become so political, you know it is all about what I like, and right now I like politics!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Eddie Murphy to retire from films for Stand Up?

Look I think Eddie's movies get a bad rap! But, damn I really, really, really want him to get back into doing stand up. So if it means I never have to see another Eddie Murphy fat suit, I am cool with the loss.

Eddie in an interview hinted that Beverly Hills Cop IV might be his last movie!
"Thirty years and I have close to 50 movies and it is like, `Why am I in the movies? I've done that part now.'

"I'll go back to the stage and do stand-up."

I never got to see Richard Pryor live, but know this, if I get a chance to go see Eddie, I am definitely going.

I love his explanation for making B H C 3 (kind of sounds like what he would say in a stand up routine): "The (third) movie wasn't ready to be done and they (producers) wrote some s**t down on paper and I said, `Is this

your phone number?' and they said, `This is how much we're going to pay you.'

"I said, `Let's go shoot it! I don't care if the script ain't right.'"--Source IMDB quoting WENN who were quoting Eddie's interview on one of those damn evening Entertainment shows that all seem the same and for some reason I was actually watching at the time...nearly fell out of my seat, I was so happy.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Obama inspires another rap song!

In light of the Jesse Jackson statements this week, I figured I would post a 'fairly' funny vid re Obama. (In the interest of full disclosure I should say I did not make it all the way to the end of the vid, before I switched over to listening to AMG's classic "better have my money")

I found it entertaining that he rapped over the 'a millie' beat, that would make it about the millionth track on that beat. Heck I even have one. But that stays hidden...for now!

Something tells me the Johnny Mc, vids are not going to be as forthcoming from the hip hop generation.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

manny pacquiao beats Diaz....a new CHAMP is here!

(found this in my blog drafts I suspect the death of K.G. is what made me hesitate to post this at the time I wrote it ---it was rough, but I did not bother to clean it up, have fun)

I was actually adjusting my watch to head out to the bar to go see the PPV fight of Manny Pacquiao v David Diaz, only to realize that the Mexican station that I pick up from Tecate had the fight on??? Initially they were just showing the undercard so I thought "probably will not show the main event then the announcer said "Pacquiao de Philippines" he said alot more but "yo necessito practicar mi espanol mucho" and if that sentence is wrong...then it has made its point.

I had always thought this station was some boot-leg station and I still think it is, but whatever, it just saved me having to go to a bar and paying to see the fight. Big deal if I understand every 5th word, I probably would not have heard anything in the bar anyway and this way I am not tempted to drink at all.

The Spanish broadcast is using its own ring-girls: muy caliente. See I am getting into the spirit of it.
(When does the announcer scream GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! Really? not in boxing? Damn!)

A man in the crowd has a sing reading, "Pac-Man, Marry Me!" Hmm?

Manny is just tattooing David, there is no way this fight goes 12 o doce (I hope you get my punto)

Both fighters seem to respect each other, Diaz certainly respects Manny's jab, he has seen so much of it.

If I keep watching will I learn spanish?

I think Manny is winning every round, the Spanish announcers agree with me (they said it + they showed the graphic so I do not have to guess that I got what they said right).
[post fight I checked all the judges agreed with me too]

Damn Manny landed a right hook that made me jump, and I am sitting at home, this fight is not going the distance. Props to David for being up this long, this is 6 rounds in and he looked dead on his feet in rounds 4 and 5

Looks like they are trying to use Superglue to close that wound

Has there been another Asian fighter that gets as much love as Pacquiao? I have been raving about him since I first saw him fit at 106, to give an idea how long ago that was, he is about to become the champ at 135 and has won at every level coming up.

With Mayweather out, I suspect he is the new lb for lb king.

Doc checks eye- says go on
Doc checks eye...looks a little more carefully, says go on...doc looks around to make sure promoter is cool...says go on (ok maybe the last part did not happen, but seriously the doc only looks like he is just inspecting for show)

The cut looks ugly, only thing that can rival it in size is the grand canyon.

Diaz is going to go down, there is no doubt he is going...oh damn, he just got knocked out. The ref did not even bother to count, he just declared the fight over.

- I like that Manny first checked on Diaz before celebrating shows concern and respect, props to Manny.

This is not fight of the year, actually Manny's last fight so far is. (versus Marquez, it was closer and no domination by either boxer) But, this gets props for being a clinic on how to decimate an opponent.

Went from boxing into an infomercial about hair extensions look I can barely understand what they are saying, but I love this infomercial. Many peeps know my shameful secret that I love infomercials, they are funny even when u cannot understand them - I loved them in Florence!

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Kamau Graham's Funeral

is Saturday, July 12, 2008 at 10am at the UWI Chapel. Interment follows at Dovecot.
- -No floral tributes.

To all those located back home, who can go, please go and support the family and friends.
If one can say there is any good to come from a funeral, it is the fact that we can go and celebrate life by seeing many whom we have lost touch with. Go give someone a hug, or a pound or just a head knock, but just go!

Kamau was a member of the Campion College class of 1995 but he touched many more than just his classmates.

R.I.P. Kamau.

Thanks to Mario and Kamau F. for sending me the funeral details.
(Sorry I took so long to post I was out of town)

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Something to lighten the mood, plus as a fan of Jamaican track I cannot help taking shots at Carl Lewis

Carl Lewis was shocked that peeps suspected he was gay? Look I think a man can act feminine and not be gay, after is that not why we have the term effeminate? Of course though, at the same time that is too often a means of trying to demean a man. I think the big issue was that peeps just did not like Carl and looked for any means to discredit him. And back then (sadly even now) throwing the gay card is a strong means of bringing down a celebrity.

Peeps are too quick to throw out the gay tag, but this vid could not have helped his 'standing'. Trust me watch the whole video, it will make you laugh. Whomever did his makeup was definitely an enemy of his!

Carl Sings the US National Anthem
This moment was great, because it was actually before a Bulls game and Jordan is openly laughing at Carl and shaking his head. Look at players trying to hide their faces!

I guess if I am clowning National Anthem performances this has to be it was done in SD

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

California Hands-free law takes effect today!

The new cell phone law
goes into effect for Cali today. Remember starting today, to talk on your cell phone while driving a car you must use a hands-free kit or risk a ticket.

Figured I would share this picture that I have gotten in countless emails as the Jamaican Hands Free Cell phone. If you take close note you will see it will save you money on traditional hands-free services.

(Plus the last few days have been so grim, I figured a decent laugh could never hurt)

Happy Birthday

Swiffer Sheet V!

Thanks for staying on the phone with me for my cookie run. I am thinking the 2 miles round trip helped to burn of at least 2 of the 6 cookies!

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.