Infrequently updated consistently funny

Friday, April 29, 2005

For my homies!

Yeah its a repeat but get used to it: the pic on Tank's face is priceless and the eye candy is good. And look my eyes are open...word of warning the CaliJ's final law school birthday is on a weekend: start saving bail money. Posted by Hello

Me an Elitist? Without a doubt

So this is the time of the year when I become the elitist that I scorn all the rest of the year
- I hate undergrads for using our library
- I hate 1Ls for taking parking spots – they are young and innocent they should go enjoy the beach leave the primo parking spots to the aged like myself
- Peeps from outside of Texas don’t know anything about school’s in Texas.
- Your not an Ivy league school if your in California no matter how much you try to speak of your credentials
- Ivy league schools have been resting on their laurels and fake grading systems for the last 50 years
o Blue bloods keeps those schools running and blue collars keep the country going: So screw those prissy I wear a beanie to school bastards.
- The cushions in the LRC suck, no seriously they really do…and I blame you girl (see rant during last finals period)
- HOW THE HELL DID I NOT GET INTO PR
- I hate 1Ls for taking the classes I wanted; seriously a 2L to be does not need PR, how the hell can I be #71 on a waitlist I didn’t even know they went that high.
o One of my boys is 87th on the list: that means that even if they started a new PR class he still wouldn’t get in.
- How can I be on the waitlist for 3 law skills 2 classes and be told I prolly wont get in.
- How is it that every time I look over at a friend of mine across the LRC all I see are boobs: don’t wear that to the library ever again!
o I know this is my first time here for the semester but I am telling U don’t wear that again.
- Y is it that no matter how many empty spots there are in the library someone always chooses to sit in the one right next to mine; I don’t like you move.
- To the undergrads: your not Paris Hilton or the skank du jour change that outfit or get out of my library; your cell phone conversation is not more important than my frenzied blogging
- And I hate you smug bastards that are able to sleep a full 8 hours
- Whew not that that is off my chest back to Miranda v…

Room for rent apply within

So I have been up all night – damn insomnia. So some random thoughts: The cali-J will now be 0-2 on retaining room-mates for more than a year. The latest pairing will not even last to the one year mark. Seriously I should be hired by match.com the minute someone agrees to be my room mate they obtain a gf and at the end of it all I lose a roomie. So applications are open for the next person to live with the Cali-J. Rent includes the chance to try out exotic meals, a 2 car garage and the promise that you will never need a parking permit for school ever again. Currently Dan K holds the lead...

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Come on just face it - you can handle it!

So I have been catching a lot of flack for stating what I think should be abundantly clear: Men and women need each other. But of course the minute a guy says that, he gets in trouble. Yes T and M, I am talking about you. Peeps come up with these silly little games, like: I can hold out longer than you can; I can last w/o it longer than a guy; if you don’t change your tune your cut-off; I don’t need a man to make me happy.

To that last one I say yes, yes you do: U need a man and if you don’t think so, you’re wrong. Once again this is to the non-lesbians: You need a man even if you don’t need him for a relationship – y’all value our opinions of you; you crave our appreciation of your bodies, your minds, your wit, your food, your companionship. Y’all need us as much as we need you.

To the young ladies that I spoke to in the parking lot:
The whole using sex as a weapon thing is wrong: Just because women may go longer does not mean that y’all need it any less than we do. Y’all just need it less often than men do – that doesn’t make you superior it just means you are more REPRESSED.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Be honest with yourselves...you NEED IT!

Ok I posted a portion of this in response to a commenter on my “Oh Man...arguing with women, I must be crazy.” post but I realize now that I must expand it a little more.
- If you’re using a substitute for the penis it just goes to show just how much you need the penis. You have just found in essence a metallic or latex or vegetable or whatever substitute for the object that you desire!

So to expand a little more on it: This argument started because I said that I think women (non-lesbians) need it, they crave it they must have it. BUT: I made sure to say that the craving for the opposite sex is not limited to a woman’s desire for a man. MEN NEED WOMEN, we have to have women, if you look at the comments that appear to be from men, none of the guys have said we don’t need women or want women etc. The thing that gets me irritated is the pretense by women that men are unnecessary, that y’all don’t need us. There is a calypso song with the lyric “every woman wants a good buddy” and it is true. This whole thing where girls say I can get it anywhere and everywhere I want, I just choose not to: BIG DEAL that’s only saying that you’re selective. I can drink any soda I want I CHOOSE to drink Sprite! Y’all need it as much as u need the very air you breathe and the food you crave. Sure you might be able to go without 1 of the above 3 for a little while but after awhile that gnawing at you makes you know that you are missing something. The hit that Desperate Housewives is, is a good indication of the fascination that the sexes have for each other, the main drama of that show is caused by peeps desperate needs to fulfill physical yearnings.
Finally no one is as crotchety as an old woman who has never experienced love, so don’t tell me that you can go through life completely w/o it.

Oh Martha, you never cease to amaze me!

I love you: you keep the news fun. Sometimes I wonder if anyone bothered to explain to you that house arrest is supposed to be punishment. What the hell are you thinking kicking it at a dinner in your honor? Your one step away from the pokey and you decide to push your luck on going out to a fancy award dinner. Obviously you are not getting the idea of house arrest, maybe the judge should put you back in! On the subject of pushing stuff – Its damn hilarious that GM is using Salt N Pepa’s “Push it” for a car promotion: that song is so raunchy and I loved it as a kid, I remember hiding from my parents to replay that song over and over again on my double deck. “Ooh baby, baby”

5 year old arrested and in handcuffs

Man peeps need to stop coming down on that Florida school for calling the cops. It sucks that the 5 year old had to be arrested, but don’t blame the school. The hands of schools have been tied for years, they cant spank kids they can barely discipline w/o fear of being sued. So now when kids (who should have been torn up at home) act up, the schools are afraid to discipline them and are forced to call what to them seem like the best authority the cops. Look at the uproar over the fact that Texas has re-enforced its spanking law allowing schools with (parents permission) to use corporal punishment and allowing grandparents to do the same.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Haha Wendy's chic caught!

I wonder if she is going to enjoy the chili in jail
Seriously how do u expect to get away with this: If she really planned this all, she is a terrible person: peeps jobs are at stake when you ruin a restaurant, can she pay back all that money in lost revenue? I think not; hope you like jail house food, the only finger you might get fed there will be yours or your new cell mates.

- I think I am so passionate about this case, because the main stay of my diet when I first came to America was the food at Wendy's at the Student union, so though I no longer eat Wendy's I don't want to see them messed with.

Strange study

Story about whether size matters.

So that story prompted an argument with some friends, though I do like what my boy said about how small the sample size was. As to the female friends I had the argument with about what u love. ADMIT IT you love the ...

Oh Man...arguing with women, I must be crazy.

So some young ladies from our law school and I had an argument re a woman's need for companionship of a certain sort. It is my contention that women need companionship (if not lesbian) of the male kind. Women love companionship and the assets it brings. Don't get me wrong, men need it too, but it's about time women stop pretending that they are so superior to men that they do not need us etc.

Monday, April 25, 2005

Continuation of the long in class blogging...

X2(2:58:57 PM): did you accept?
X1 (2:59:13 PM): i wasnt sure if that was an honor code violation
X3 (2:59:18 PM): nope
X3 (2:59:25 PM): u nasty bastard
X1 (2:59:29 PM): i mean turning it down
X1 (3:00:08 PM): didnt someone get caught doing that a couple of years ago?
Check current edition of Motions for more on LRC sex
X1 (3:03:46 PM): i love how this class has stopped being a classs but more an opportunity to chat online
At this point the convo disintegrated into material so raunchy I couldn’t even edit it into a form that could be used but it led to this exchange...
(3:10:14 PM): so who is more milf
X3 (3:10:22 PM): the other one (panel Lady)
X1 (3:10:24 PM): panel lady or the horse rider
X2(3:10:25 PM): i think the darkie last thursday is hotter
X3 (3:10:30 PM): because I at least can listen to her
X3 (3:10:37 PM): did u just say darkie?
X2(3:11:30 PM): it's the darkie vs. the Jew for best milf of the year!
X3 (3:11:38 PM): oh man
X3 (3:11:44 PM): U are going to hell
X2(3:11:48 PM): i know, on the fast track
X1 (3:11:23 PM): i feel like she should be wearing one of those ridiculous horse riding helmets and have the little baton thingy
X1 (3:12:00 PM): how many people in this class actually pay attention?
X2(3:12:08 PM): i'm totally paying attention to her boobs
X1 (3:12:25 PM): like i said earlier she is disappointingly unracktackular
X1 (3:14:06 PM): she just got off her horse
X3 (3:14:26 PM): U have an unhealthy equestrian fascination
X2(3:14:41 PM): dude... yeah, man...
X1 (3:14:44 PM): it’s her fucking pants no one has pants that ride that high anymore
X1 (3:15:05 PM): i am not even sure they make them anymore
X2(3:15:09 PM): she wants to show off her ass     
X1 (3:15:21 PM): she should get an ass then
X3 (3:16:21 PM): U know I have got to work on not having such an incredulous look when peeps volunteer in this class
X2(3:16:32 PM): yeah, man
X1 (3:16:45 PM): just stop paying attention altogether
X1 (3:16:50 PM): that’s my technique
X3 (3:18:09 PM): $10 to the guy who slaps her on the ass
X3 (3:18:16 PM): when u walk up there
X1 (3:18:31 PM): just give her an ass slap and say good lecture
X2(3:18:32 PM): oh my GOD... i think that's a way to not graduate
X1 (3:18:37 PM): act like it is totally normal
X3 (3:18:38 PM): name your price
X3 (3:18:40 PM): I will pay
X2(3:18:52 PM): $35,000 for another year of law school
X3 (3:18:58 PM): uh
X3 (3:19:01 PM): maybe not that high
X2(3:19:02 PM): actually $100K for another three years at another law school
X1 (3:19:19 PM): plus attorney fees for the resultant lawsuit
X3 (3:19:42 PM): Friend X: dude, I will pay too
X1 (3:21:22 PM): i hope the people behind either 1.  cant read this, or 2, arent offended by this 3. Actually i dont care
X3 (3:24:37 PM): in regards to the picture: Friend 1: that's a good question, what is she holding? I'm thinking vandersexxx all of a sudden
X1 (3:25:04 PM): nice eurotrip reference
X3 (3:25:32 PM): care to yawn a bit louder?
X2(3:25:42 PM): haha yes
X3 (3:25:53 PM): Y not raise your hands above your head and stretch while doing it and dont 4get to SCRATCH
X1 (3:26:18 PM): and a booyeah
The fact that 2 of the members should have given a presentation and one of the Im-ers suggested warning the professor to not forget to require the group to present
T1 (3:27:36 PM): i swear to god if you ask about it i will fucking end you
T3 (3:27:37 PM): Y do I suddenly feel unsafe
T2(3:27:38 PM):  i think we can squash him
T3 (3:27:47 PM): Is this the 60's
T2(3:27:50 PM): because you're surrounded by ENEMIES
T3 (3:27:53 PM): Y'all know my peeps are FREE
T1 (3:27:56 PM): it may have to be
T2(3:28:00 PM): free to die, bitch!
T3 (3:28:02 PM): separate but equal
T1 (3:28:35 PM): protect fellow slackers
T3 (3:28:59 PM): I think I may have to leave
T2(3:29:04 PM): i've just been looking for an excuse for a few months now so it's not upgraded to a hate crime
X3 (3:29:22 PM): all 3 of us just laughed as she looked up
X1 (3:29:31 PM): and we have entered that zone that we have insulted every possible sensibility
X1 (3:29:36 PM): wait except for midgets
X1 (3:29:39 PM): fucking midgets
X2(3:29:43 PM): midgets?
X2(3:29:45 PM): what?
X1 (3:29:50 PM): wait
X1 (3:29:56 PM): i cant say anything bad about midgets
X1 (3:30:01 PM): they are always funny
X2(3:30:05 PM): yeah, man, they don't have to go down as far
X3 (3:30:15 PM): and the leader in the club house
X1 (3:30:20 PM): and we have officially antagonized everyone
X1 (3:30:29 PM): wow
X1 (3:30:33 PM): that was impressive
X3 (3:30:38 PM): how many times is the girl in front of me going to look back?
X3 (3:30:44 PM): we have bashed races, ethnicities, dorks, what’s left?
X2(3:30:56 PM): women? oh wait
X1 (3:31:24 PM): yeah they lost the genetic lottery
X1 (3:35:42 PM): i doubt that there is much of a midget readership - they cant reach the keyboard to type in the website
X2(3:36:01 PM): yeah, they probably can't see over the desks
X1 (3:36:02 PM): with their wee little hands and their trex arms
X3 (3:36:22 PM): U should be banned from the net
Some new kid suddenly appeared to give a presentation
X3 (3:36:41 PM): Seriously Who is this kid talking
X1 (3:36:53 PM): is he even in this class
X3 (3:36:56 PM): it's like we have a guest speaker
X1 (3:36:58 PM): or did he just show up today
X2(3:37:03 PM): where was he sitting?
X1 (3:37:13 PM): fuck if i know
X3 (3:37:13 PM): behind u in the spare seat I don’t think he even has a spot he OWNS THE SUPPLIMENT?
X2(3:37:30 PM): hm there's a supplement?
X3 (3:37:40 PM): now I know he isn’t in this class
X3 (3:38:32 PM): Am I wrong for thinking the AZN chick would be so tappable if she put on make up and smiled
X1 (3:38:48 PM): i dont think she knows what a smile is
X3 (3:38:53 PM): 2 out of 3 of those chicks I would sling mad dick to
X1 (3:39:16 PM): that is more true than you might imagine
X1 (3:39:57 PM): we have crossed a record number of lines today
X3 (3:40:05 PM): do u see how long that neck is
X1 (3:40:05 PM): we should be proud of what we have accomplished
X3 (3:40:09 PM): u know what that means
X3 (3:40:10 PM): DEEP
X3 (3:40:14 PM): finish it for me
X1 (3:40:15 PM): she is susceptible to choke holds
X3 (3:40:36 PM): as to crossing lines
X3 (3:40:42 PM): we are practically illegals by now
X1 (3:41:07 PM): yeah, but i am unwilling to pick apples
X1 (3:41:12 PM): or hang out at hoome depot
X3 (3:41:58 PM): this chick is doing hand gestures
X3 (3:42:01 PM): did u guys miss that
X1 (3:42:05 PM): yeah
X3 (3:42:06 PM): she did the how big is it move
X3 (3:42:16 PM): thats the nut cupper
X3 (3:42:56 PM): is that chic wearing a skirt? That’s awesome skirts are hot
X2(3:43:11 PM): she's cute
X3 (3:43:13 PM): u can lift them up
X1 (3:43:23 PM): that cracks me up
X3 (3:44:02 PM): oh man
X3 (3:45:08 PM): u r kidding
X3 (3:45:49 PM): Did u tap her?
X1 (3:45:58 PM): not that you know
X3 (3:46:01 PM): hahahah
X3 (3:46:04 PM): so thats a yes
X1 (3:46:10 PM): i was durnk
X3 (3:46:11 PM): nice
X1 (3:46:15 PM): really drunk
X3 (3:46:26 PM): nice rack
X2(3:46:31 PM): good job!
X3 (3:46:35 PM): CONGRATS

CJ (2:36:20 PM): hahahah
CJ (2:42:42 PM): did the lime tree you stole that shirt from retaliate by giving u that dark streak across the front?
SA (2:43:03 PM): WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU????
CJ (2:43:53 PM): dude that is a LIME GREEN SHIRT
SA (2:44:54 PM): and you wear pink

Happy Birthday Ana Claudia

Sorry I could not make it out. I hope you had a great time partying it up.

A Texas tradition continues

I will let coach Mack Brown say it:
"When you're at a university like The University of Texas, which has the longest streak of having a player drafted every year in NFL history (68 years), and then to look at the number of draft choices, specifically first round picks over the last eight drafts, it shows our guys are doing a good job with evaluation.”
That’s Coach Brown talking about our players once again being taken up by NFL teams. Now if we could only parlay some of that NFL talent into a national championship (hope springs eternal). I project that Vince Young will be a Heisman candidate this year (though that’s not always the best thing- see Jason White's draft status or lack thereof).

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Strange sensation

K so now there is hype re the Hasidic Jew that is singing reggae, I will say good for him doing his thing. BUT, I think peeps should hold off on anointing him the next reggae superstar. Here are a few things: a lot of the hype is based on the fact that he is a Hasidic Jew (when was the last time you saw a Hasidic Jew singing anything much less reggae); he is a white guy doing Reggae; don’t forget DJ Snow; there is a serious hype machine behind him.; half the peeps listening to Matisyahu (that’s the Artist’s name by the way) can’t understand a damn thing, but there peeps have told them that it is cool.

Friday, April 22, 2005

My new favorite show!

Has got to be Jose Luis sin censura: This show is the Mexican version of Jerry Springer with a bonus: they actually let the peeps fight for a little bit before the security ‘jumps’ in. And as an added bonus, audience members jump into the fights or initiate fights. The last episode I watched an audience member attacked 3 separate guests. This show is definitely helping my Spanish: if I ever decide to cheat on my wife with her cousin and then find out that she was actually secretly hoping that I would leave her for another woman, I will be able to tell her my decision in 2 languages.

If Bush can't afford a burger...?

So during a photo-op moment in South Carolina at a burger joint the president was purchasing lunch for his entourage and the bill came to around $63.20 (versions differ as to exact amount) however in the photo shots and video the president is seen holding what appears to be two $20 bills. Realizing the problem he calls an aide over to help him on the shortfall. Which of course led to countless jokes: if he can’t afford to buy lunch how can he feed the nation etc…but seriously though, you would think for a photo-op you would carry at least more than $40 when trying to get lunch for the entourage!

Thursday, April 21, 2005

JonBenet/Psychics and OJ

Aite so registration is finally over, I hope y’all got the classes you wanted unless of course by doing so you pushed me unto a wait-list. So I have taken to watching Court TV when I get home from Evidence (I don’t really know why this started – guess the class just naturally led me to that channel). So I saw this Court TV promo that says that they have new evidence in the JonBenet Ramsey case (by the way – I thought this case was dead and over with but guess until someone is finally pinned, every few years this case will always be available for someone to make a buck off of) and my roomie raised a great point, if there is evidence that as Ct TV claims can lead to the killer etc, shouldn’t the cops have this info and shouldn’t there already be an arrest rather than a promo for a Thursday night special. Then right after the JonBenet promo Ct TV had the audacity to run a promo about some psychic that they claim solves crimes and helps them solve murders etc. So they natural question that rose to my mind was: Well, damn if he is so good why don’t you use him to find JonBenet’s killer? Hell if this dude was so damn good, he should be out there helping OJ find the real killer/s. Seriously, since Ct TV owns their own psychic; why waste time with all this extra MJ trial coverage? He should just tell us what the result will be (I’m banking on celebrity status getting him off the charges) and then let Ct TV get the ultimate scoop.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Monkey for Arizona S.W.A.T. team!

I know I know you initially think I'm making this up (but google it I dare you). In Mesa, Arizona the police department is seeking $100,000 in federal grant money to purchase and train a capuchin monkey, which costs $15,000.

Capuchin monkeys have been trained to perform daily tasks, "such as serving food, opening and closing doors, turning lights on and off, retrieving objects and brushing hair." AP

The hope is that in a Kevlar vest with a video camera and two-way radio, the monkey would be able to get into places cops can not.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Mad Props to Lance Armstrong

So Lance has announced today that he is retiring from active competition after this year’s Tour de France. The man has been incredible, from a casual cyclist standpoint he has been a pretty good inspiration. I wear the yellow wristband out of support for his cause and because some close family members have had and pulled through cancer. Oh well his career had to come to an end and I hope he wins one last Tour de France even if it is just to sell a couple million more yellow wristbands. GO LANCE GO! (or whatever is the current catch phrase) Oh and I have to mention that his base is Austin, Texas: home of the LONGHORNS!

Friday, April 15, 2005

BAR REVIEW at Aubergine!

Yes, yes yall: It’s the final Bar review of the year. Tonight at Aubergine 9.30 till close: Only $5 cover all night w/ law school ID and drink specials available. COME GET L.I.T. Oh and for those who came here for professor evaluations scroll down damn it, its 2 posts down.
“L.I.T promotions Blazing through law school”

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Registration help...

Ok since its registration time: I figured we could all share some thoughts on professors and classes to help each other out. So please leave a comment in the comments section (you can leave anonymously and you do not have to register to blogspot so lets leave helpful answers) Comments like “ Evidence with Devitt was a great class” or “ Contracts with Claus fair but hard” That way we all get some real, answers as to profs or classes to take.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Did you know?

All students are given $6.00 for printouts in any of the Academic Technology computing labs each Fall semester.

Britney preggers!

So Britney is going to be a mom: the news came down a couple hours ago. No Josh unfortunately I don’t believe your Chapelle like statement (“I gotcha Bitch!”) – But if you really are the daddy MAD PROPS - hook a brother up. Though as I said to Tiff it would be hilarious and highly possible that, that kid comes out black!
"A lot of people think you should wait till you're older to have kids. I've had a career since I was 16, have traveled around the world and back, and even kissed Madonna! The only thing I haven't done is experience the closest thing to God, and that's having a baby. I can't wait!" Britney.
- I don’t know Britney there is the fact that you haven’t gone to college there is one thing that you haven’t done
- You haven’t made a decent album – there’s another one

MJ trial

Do you remember that old Rockwell song with MJ singing the hook “(I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)” Talk about eerie that he sang that song years ago with Rockwell adding lyrics like this “When I'm in the shower
I'm afraid to wash my hair
'Cause I might open my eyes
And find someone standing there” Now his maid is accusing him of taking showers with little boys. Hmm? I still feel that if Michael Jackson is convicted of sexual abuse with little kids, half of those parents should go to jail with him. Because I find it impossible to believe that these parents just saw patterns that they now claim they saw and just let their kids “play and sleep” with Michael…that’s bad parenting and appears to be a money grab. If the whole abuse scandal is true…poor kids, Bad parents + getting abused= terrible way to start your life.

Oh Martha, you kidder!

I love the Judge’s latest reply to Martha: Judge Miriam Goldman Cedarbaum, in a tersely worded three-page order, rejected a bid from Ms Stewart to go free early — or at least to be allowed to leave home more often for work.

“Home detention is imposed as an alternative to imprisonment. It is designed to be confining,” the judge wrote. “I see no reason to modify the sentence,” Cedarbaum added.
- “Martha had told the judge that serving the sentence would hamper production of her two upcoming television series — a daytime talk show and a new rendition of NBC’s The Apprentice.”

Come on McDonalds!

Thanks to D. Rah for this story…
One of McDonald’s new ad campaigns to target the youth: Has a young ‘hip looking’ young man thinking about a Double cheeseburger and the thoughts coming out of his hear are and I kid you not “Double Cheeseburger I’d hit it” with a lecherous smile on his face…just to clue in the not too hip I included the online definition for hit itFrom Urbandictionary.com 1. I'd Hit it Vernacular, commonly used by males, meaning, "I would like to have sexual relations with that female." "Wow, she's stacked! I'd hit it!"

John Bolton...

I love the fact that John Bolton the nominee to be the new U.S. ambassador to the United Nations. Has said in the past:( “There’s no such thing as the United Nations,”…‘’If the U.N. secretary building in New York lost 10 stories, it wouldn’t make a bit of difference.'’…“many Republicans in Congress - and perhaps a majority - not only do not care about losing the General Assembly vote but actually see it as a ‘make my day’ outcome. Indeed, once the vote is lost, and the adverse consequences predicted by the U.N.’s supporters begin to occur, this will simply provide further evidence to many why nothing more should be paid to the U.N. system.” ) And this is the man now expected to help us with the UN?

Yet another example that people are essentially sheep:

Toyota's gasoline-electric hybrid Prius sedan has become such a hit that owners are listing their used models for sale at higher prices than for a new one. Mark Brueggemann, senior analyst for Kelley [Bluebook], recommends that buyers wait. "At $4,000 or $5,000 over sticker, you're really paying to be the first on your block to have one," he says.

Wisconsin considers whether to make cat hunting legal!

Residents in 72 counties were asked whether free-roaming cats - including any domestic cat that isn't under the owner's direct control or any cat without a collar - should be listed as an unprotected species. If listed as so, the cats could be hunted.
- If I may be permitted a moment of crudeness, my boys and I have been cat hunting for years.

Way to go Johnny Damon:

"Which is more important," the Red Sox center fielder was asked, "a wedding ring or a World Series ring?"
"The World Series ring," said Damon, who got married for the second time in the offseason. "You can always get a wedding ring, but a World Series ring is tough to obtain. It's tougher to get. Wives are a lot easier."

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Ah the joy of living in Cali...

Yes that is the CaliJamaican with the NY Tank kicking it with Traci Bingham. (look her up if you dont know her) Though you should. BAYWATCH product.  Posted by Hello

Women...

Cot damn: If a man truly ever figures out the mind of a woman and is able to articulately write it down and communicate it to the rest of us fellows: HE DESERVES THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE. That would cause more peace on earth than a dozen Geneva conventions or Middle East peace accords. At the same time we are not wholly innocent, because we as men often do things to infuriate the women and then feign ignorance as to the situation. But, it’s still always the woman’s fault. I mean after all if things were the way they should be we men would not be making you mad because you would have just agreed and submitted to our will. So there is a certain young lady that would kill me if she saw this but I have no fear for the morrow since she never reads my blog so I have a good chance of this sliding through.
- As to the women should submit thing (while it would be nice) it’s not truly my feelings (though some of my female readers [one in particular] will see the first part and ignore this disclaimer and attack me).
- Seriously though situations get shady so quickly when men and women argue: peeps feelings get hurt and things get imagined that are truly not happening.

Just let it out...

So I was at On Broadway last night for Jess’ birthday and though I still think that the club itself might be the most over rated club in SD the night itself was fun. Thanks to the homes for giving my boys and I some free Moet. Course up in the club there was the usual posturing and shoves to the side and guys in general on hair triggers looking for a fight. Now I usually scorn that, but it got me thinking: There is a kid in our law school that every-time I see him I stand there hoping that he will take a swing at me, because I just want to go nuts and stomp that fool. Granted I’m sure much of this bravado is due to the fact that the kid is shorter than I am, but a lot of it is a deep seated “I just want to punch that smug look off his face” kind of emotion. My boys and I were talking about what happens if any of us gets in a fight and how all of us would have to join in. To that end I gotta say thanks to my boys for always having my back and yall know that I always have yours. Course now that I’m on an emotional low and loaded with painkillers it’s probably best that at the next bar review I stick to water, because fighting him means I may have to take on his girl and damn…she tall.

Friday, April 08, 2005

Jane Fonda - it's just not right!

[``The image of Jane Fonda, `Barbarella,' Henry Fonda's daughter . . . sitting on an enemy aircraft gun was a betrayal . . . the largest lapse of judgment that I can even imagine,'' Jane Fonda on 60 minutes.] Really Jane? Consorting with the enemy, going against your own government even posing for pictures on an anti-aircraft gun a gun that was used to try and shoot down your own country men that was a “lapse of judgment”? Nah, I think that was more like treason. Strange that now that your new book needs promotion you have seen the light – that’s disgusting. Anyone is free to protest against a war, but to actively go to the war torn region and basically become a major propaganda piece for your country’s enemy cannot be condoned. If the North Vietnamese had held on to you as a captive you would have been hella pissed if the government didn’t try to get your ass out of Vietnam. So now you say that your trip was a peace keeping mission etc etc, but come on. You were a celebrity; you had to have known what kind of image you would create. And the new claim that you did not intend to be on the anti-aircraft gun does not ring true, in all those pics and videos you are smiling your head off, not the image of someone who does not want to be somewhere. You were Henry Fonda’s daughter you were a star in your own right you knew the limelight, you knew how to work the press, I find it difficult to believe that you were tricked in anyway. It seems more likely that you were caught up in thinking you could do anything at the time (“The road to hell is paved with good intentions”) and maybe you thought you really were helping the troops, but your brand of help if carried out by regular people would almost certainly have caused a trial for treason: not necessarily a conviction, but at least a sincere attempt at getting you for it. Note however, I do not believe you meant to be a traitor, nor do I believe that you should then or now have been tried for treason (though others were charged for much less [look up Tokyo Rose if you want info on how easily a treason conviction can be achieved]), but damn I would have preferred a much more sincere apology and not apologies that are always sandwiched with a grab for attention and the usual addition that you were framed blah blah ad nausea. Damn it woman fess up: You messed up. Though gotta give you some props some of those explanations that you give are pretty smooth – amazing what you can come up with when you take 30 years to explain it!

Some quick bullet points
- She declared that American POWs were being treated humanely
- Condemned U.S. soldiers as "war criminals"
- Denounced U.S. soldiers as liars for claiming they had been tortured
- An email has circulated for years accusing her of this: As she toured a POW facility, POWs gave her slips of paper with their SSN on them hoping she would take it to the outside world but once the camera stopped rolling she handed over the papers to the officer in charge and the men were savagely beaten. Those named in the inflammatory e-mail categorically deny the events they supposedly were part of. "It's a figment of somebody's imagination," says Ret. Col. Larry Carrigan, one of the servicemen mentioned in the 'slips of paper' incident.
- The last time that she offered a public apology of any sort was in 1988 when a movie she was working on was being disrupted by Vietnam vets: hmm coincidence that once again there is a public apology?
- she publicly thanked the Soviets for providing assistance to the North Vietnamese
- In her new book she describes the act of purging as “somewhat orgasmic” [so not about the war – but thought it very interesting]
I make no claims as to whether the Vietnam War was right or wrong, but Jane Fonda’s actions during the war were plainly wrong.

Happy Birthday Jessica

This saturday we are all celebrating Jess' birthday at On Broadway. Jess will guestlist anyone that can get in touch with her ASAP. You can reach her via email or her cell. Come on everyone and lets celebrate the birthday of a great girl. Oh and If I am not mistaken it is the one year anniversary of the law school's favorite twins.

Pope's funeral

Wow the pope’s funeral is impressive (ok so I know that one comes in under the duh category of statements) but its 3am and I have CNN on in the background and just watching the faces of people as they sit in awe of the man who has past and the pomp and circumstance of the situation it strikes me as impressive. It’s also probably because of all the frenzied pope bloging why the blog upload website has crashed.

Alcohol and vicodin!

So maybe its not the best combination. However, when in pain the thought that you just had a few alcoholic drinks earlier in the evening does not stop the hand from grabbing the bag with the pills.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Has Tom Delay lost his mind?

"House Majority Leader Tom DeLay of Texas suggested an impeachment case could be made against judges who rebuffed Congress' will." WHAT? Are you serious? Everytime an INDEPENDENT branch of government does what it is constitutionally required to do the judges would have to fear impeachment. I am saddened that this man represents Texas. Thing is when election time comes around will people remember what occured...?

Woo hoo VICODIN

How is that I had never tried vicodin until now. Man this stuff should be sold alongside packets of gum and beside cigarettes (yeah yeah I know addictive but so is caffeine and alcohol and nicotine): It cant be anymore harmful than that stuff. I gotta go now...My laptop is floating infront of me...yeah.

Monday, April 04, 2005

The joy of faulty memory!

NKOTB, Backstreet, The Spice girls, Vanilla Ice, Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, Disco (every artist) N’SYNC: What do all these have in common? They are all groups that were massive back in the day and now so many people pretend as if they didn’t exist or that they never listened to them. I have been doing some blog reading around the web and a recent topic that is popular are crappy music groups and has beens etc. One blog was practically dedicated to Gerardo of ‘Rico Suave’ fame (“My only addiction has to do with the female species”)People always tend to deny things later that now appear to be not cool. I remember a lot of my friends rocking to school with the NKOTB lunch box. And while working at the arena I remember seeing tones of college age girls streaming in for the N’SYNC show. If you used to be a fan of such groups don’t front now like your so superior to the kids now screaming for Hillary Duff or whichever teeny bopper is hot right now, and don’t be ashamed to sometimes in the middle of USD’s overly quiet law library bust out with:
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Listen up everybody if you wanna take a chance.
Just get on the floor and do the New Kids' dance.
Don't worry 'bout nothing 'cause it won't take long.
We're gonna put you in a trance with a funky song, 'cause you gotta be
Hangin' tough, hangin' tough, hangin' tough.
We're rough
.


And don’t forget to do the little grab your pants and side to side shake with your legs.
If there is any group that should be on this list and I forgot them be sure to remind me. I love reminiscing about old groups.

Ah...

C17H21NO·HCl. If you know what that is without looking it up: We need to talk!

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Seriously...

How bad has it gotten for desperate men? Now you can text message and get phone sex via texts? Come on how lame is that? I mean most likely when you call a phone sex line thinking your getting some young sexy girl you are probably talking to an ancient hag who has a nice voice. But via text? For all you know some dude fresh out of prison is answering your text..."Oh baby your making me so hot" has no gender when it's in a text message. Oh well to each his own. If you saw sportscenter tonight you saw the NC fans celebrating their win by jumping over a bonfire: It was hilarious watching two dudes jump at the same time smack into each other and one dude practically falls in the fire, I love watching those moments.

Blog Archive

About Me

My photo
Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.