Infrequently updated consistently funny

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Oh Martha, you never cease to amaze me!

I love you: you keep the news fun. Sometimes I wonder if anyone bothered to explain to you that house arrest is supposed to be punishment. What the hell are you thinking kicking it at a dinner in your honor? Your one step away from the pokey and you decide to push your luck on going out to a fancy award dinner. Obviously you are not getting the idea of house arrest, maybe the judge should put you back in! On the subject of pushing stuff – Its damn hilarious that GM is using Salt N Pepa’s “Push it” for a car promotion: that song is so raunchy and I loved it as a kid, I remember hiding from my parents to replay that song over and over again on my double deck. “Ooh baby, baby”

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.