Zoology degree notwithstanding there are some things related to biology I just cannot understand. And this is one of them. How can an Olympic athlete IN TRAINING and competitions not realize she is pregnant, and not only that she gave birth while training!
I have a hard time fathoming how any woman can go so many months without knowing that she is pregnant. My neighbor did it for 7 months (still disturbing) before she finally found out, just in time to get at least some pre-natal care.
Hope fully this girls kid will eventually come around to being fully healthy. I cannot help laughing at what this trainer said "I could see she was a big girl, round and strong. That's all I noticed." –Yeah Buddy understatement right there.
By the way I love the headlines that find it necessary to put this word in their text 'FEMALE' weightlifter.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Thanks Tiger, now I trust no one
Granted I am not a very trusting person in the first place, with good reason since people just suck in general when it comes to keeping secrets. But now thanks to the whole Tiger-cheating-saga I trust everyone less. When a phone goes off I wonder what is happening. Heaven forbid someone has to leave the room to talk on their phone you cannot help but wondering what is going on.
I have taken to jealously guarding my Blackberry and I do not even have anything to hide. It just seems like the safer plan. For instance in my case I get weird messages from my friends, no need to have any misunderstandings like why does that text say "Hope to see you soon I have missed you". And since a few of my male friends have names that sound like girl names it could just get more and more complicated.
I never read text messages over shoulders or emails that are being read in front of me. That just leads to trouble. A friend of mine was visiting a girl he was 'daggering' and she received a call while he was there from an Ex. He then over-heard snatches of the conversation and relayed them to me via IM. To me the conversation seemed completely innocent but because he was the one who was 'dating' the young lady every little thing was misconstrued.
I wish I could mock him but...I do the damn same thing. If I hear the wrong thing it sends me into a bit of a quandary. Should I blow up, should I laugh it off? Why is the call at this time? Of course the time that is bad fluctuates. If it is 8am, why is the call so early? If the call is mid-day, are they trying to pull a lunch time fast one? If the call is in the evening, is it a dinner meet up? If the call is mid-night, well come on you know what the thought is then! But of course this is not triggered by every call. I am not a crazy man, I am not even a jealous man. But I do favour the lyrics from a song from ages ago (please do not look it up I am already embarrassed enough I ever listened to that group) "I'm not suspicious, I'm cautious"
So when I see suspicious phone activity: like too many texts messages then followed by phone calls, that lead to whispered conversations or people waiting for me to leave the room before returning calls...I do begin to wonder what is going on.
Then again, someone might just be planning a surprise party for me, yup that might be it. Either way, I still never eavesdrop so I will never know what the call is about. Hahahah damn you Tiger, I never used to care!
I have taken to jealously guarding my Blackberry and I do not even have anything to hide. It just seems like the safer plan. For instance in my case I get weird messages from my friends, no need to have any misunderstandings like why does that text say "Hope to see you soon I have missed you". And since a few of my male friends have names that sound like girl names it could just get more and more complicated.
I never read text messages over shoulders or emails that are being read in front of me. That just leads to trouble. A friend of mine was visiting a girl he was 'daggering' and she received a call while he was there from an Ex. He then over-heard snatches of the conversation and relayed them to me via IM. To me the conversation seemed completely innocent but because he was the one who was 'dating' the young lady every little thing was misconstrued.
I wish I could mock him but...I do the damn same thing. If I hear the wrong thing it sends me into a bit of a quandary. Should I blow up, should I laugh it off? Why is the call at this time? Of course the time that is bad fluctuates. If it is 8am, why is the call so early? If the call is mid-day, are they trying to pull a lunch time fast one? If the call is in the evening, is it a dinner meet up? If the call is mid-night, well come on you know what the thought is then! But of course this is not triggered by every call. I am not a crazy man, I am not even a jealous man. But I do favour the lyrics from a song from ages ago (please do not look it up I am already embarrassed enough I ever listened to that group) "I'm not suspicious, I'm cautious"
So when I see suspicious phone activity: like too many texts messages then followed by phone calls, that lead to whispered conversations or people waiting for me to leave the room before returning calls...I do begin to wonder what is going on.
Then again, someone might just be planning a surprise party for me, yup that might be it. Either way, I still never eavesdrop so I will never know what the call is about. Hahahah damn you Tiger, I never used to care!
Monday, November 30, 2009
You are not a ‘chick’ you are a football player!
I get supremely tired of the paternalistic attitude that our society takes towards women in general and women in sports. I completely believe in equality, yet many persons who claim they want equality between the sexes hide behind the veil of ‘women are the weaker sex and should be protected’.
Only in terms of actual muscle size are women the fairer sex, but beyond direct head to head competition between men and women there is no reason to consider women as weaker than men, and certainly NOT when they are engaged in their own sporting activities.
Elizabeth Lambert is a football player (soccer in America) who went in a word NUTS during a game. She punched an opponent in the back (granted after she took an elbow), did a few dangerous and aggressive tackles, pulled an opponent down so vigorously by the pony tail (let that soak in for a second) that the girl’s head jerked and she fell to the ground as if she had been shot, and she punched another in the face. Any one of those acts could have earned her a red card and suspensions for a few games, (but the refs did not sanction her – seriously the quality of reffing in all sports this year is atrocious -) taken all together, they obtained her an indefinite suspension.
Now there are some saying that the attention paid to her incidents are because she is female. Look I do not doubt that some attention has been paid to her solely because she is a woman, but at the same time I think much of the attention has been paid because she seriously went CRAZY. When have you ever seen a man engage in activity like that and not get vilified? For instance let me place you on a grander stage but with a simpler act: Zidane in the World Cup delivered a head butt to the Italian defender who insulted him and his family, take note it was one blow a head butt, one act - an instant dismissal, and world-wide shame. Elizabeth Lambert did not receive nearly the scorn that was heaped on Zidane yet I should believe that most of this is because she is a woman? And again, I know in terms of importance the scale is different, the World Cup versus NCAA playoffs but the reactions can be compared. If Zidane had not only head butted the Italian but also punched him, done dirty tackles and grabbed a pony tail (and yup in that game there was enough hair for pony tails) we would still be combing through video tape of the incident.
When American Football players pull players down by the face mask and cause injury, it tends to be the lead on ESPN. Even simple locker room fights get coverage. And yet I have never seen a player do as much in a single game as Lambert did in her game. If Chad Ochocinco ever decides to try and remove the front teeth from his opponent’s mouth in the manner in which Lambert attempted to do dentistry on her foe, I am pretty sure his career would be severely impacted for a year.
But, let us take one of the greatest examples of male players going NUTS in recent history: ‘The Malice at the Palace’ or you might know it as Ron Artest running into the stands with half of the Indiana Pacers riding shotgun with him. Artest started a melee and contributed to one of the greatest non-boxer Athlete punches I have ever seen (I would post video of it, but the NBA takes that down immediately as it goes up so the link would be dead by the time you read this anyway) Jermaine O’neal hitting a tubby guy so hard that I felt it in my fillings. I still maintain that because O’neal slipped while swinging that guy is still walking this earth.
Thanks to that incident we now think of Ron Artest as a mad-man, Stephen Jackson as a man completely willing to rearrange your grill and the Indiana Pacers have become a team that many feel has on purpose decided to become the whitest team in the league (man I really hope that is just coincidental and not really related to the malice in the palace because that would really be sad and a bad reflection of prejudice).
So under the Ron-ron parameters I am now obligated to think of Elizabeth Lambert as a completely insane woman, who should not be let back onto a field until she is completely re-evaluated…only fair right? After all, we are all equal.
Only in terms of actual muscle size are women the fairer sex, but beyond direct head to head competition between men and women there is no reason to consider women as weaker than men, and certainly NOT when they are engaged in their own sporting activities.
Elizabeth Lambert is a football player (soccer in America) who went in a word NUTS during a game. She punched an opponent in the back (granted after she took an elbow), did a few dangerous and aggressive tackles, pulled an opponent down so vigorously by the pony tail (let that soak in for a second) that the girl’s head jerked and she fell to the ground as if she had been shot, and she punched another in the face. Any one of those acts could have earned her a red card and suspensions for a few games, (but the refs did not sanction her – seriously the quality of reffing in all sports this year is atrocious -) taken all together, they obtained her an indefinite suspension.
Now there are some saying that the attention paid to her incidents are because she is female. Look I do not doubt that some attention has been paid to her solely because she is a woman, but at the same time I think much of the attention has been paid because she seriously went CRAZY. When have you ever seen a man engage in activity like that and not get vilified? For instance let me place you on a grander stage but with a simpler act: Zidane in the World Cup delivered a head butt to the Italian defender who insulted him and his family, take note it was one blow a head butt, one act - an instant dismissal, and world-wide shame. Elizabeth Lambert did not receive nearly the scorn that was heaped on Zidane yet I should believe that most of this is because she is a woman? And again, I know in terms of importance the scale is different, the World Cup versus NCAA playoffs but the reactions can be compared. If Zidane had not only head butted the Italian but also punched him, done dirty tackles and grabbed a pony tail (and yup in that game there was enough hair for pony tails) we would still be combing through video tape of the incident.
When American Football players pull players down by the face mask and cause injury, it tends to be the lead on ESPN. Even simple locker room fights get coverage. And yet I have never seen a player do as much in a single game as Lambert did in her game. If Chad Ochocinco ever decides to try and remove the front teeth from his opponent’s mouth in the manner in which Lambert attempted to do dentistry on her foe, I am pretty sure his career would be severely impacted for a year.
But, let us take one of the greatest examples of male players going NUTS in recent history: ‘The Malice at the Palace’ or you might know it as Ron Artest running into the stands with half of the Indiana Pacers riding shotgun with him. Artest started a melee and contributed to one of the greatest non-boxer Athlete punches I have ever seen (I would post video of it, but the NBA takes that down immediately as it goes up so the link would be dead by the time you read this anyway) Jermaine O’neal hitting a tubby guy so hard that I felt it in my fillings. I still maintain that because O’neal slipped while swinging that guy is still walking this earth.
Thanks to that incident we now think of Ron Artest as a mad-man, Stephen Jackson as a man completely willing to rearrange your grill and the Indiana Pacers have become a team that many feel has on purpose decided to become the whitest team in the league (man I really hope that is just coincidental and not really related to the malice in the palace because that would really be sad and a bad reflection of prejudice).
So under the Ron-ron parameters I am now obligated to think of Elizabeth Lambert as a completely insane woman, who should not be let back onto a field until she is completely re-evaluated…only fair right? After all, we are all equal.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Eating my sorrows away vol 232.2342
May post pix later if I feel like.
Just a pat on the back, how cool am I type blog today.
Expected company, but my company was so busy that when they called and sounded dead tired on the phone I told them to not drive into town, even though I really wanted to see them (back pat)
I was asked if it was no big deal and I assured it was not (back pat)
But really I am torn up inside since I actually put in some serious effort today to try to impress since I have not been the best person the last few weeks (back pat for effort, knife in back for being a bad person)
I cleaned house, vacuumed everything in sight and purchased booze that was liked by friend (back pat)
Then I cooked. (back pat and that is before I even get to what I did)
I bought a fresh pineapple and peeled it so that the meal would be filled with fresh ingredients (back pat)
I deboned then cut up 3 whole chicken breasts into slivers no larger than 2 inches in length and no thicker than 2 mms so that they can flash fry in less than a minute (back pat)
I peeled and deveined 1.25lbs of shrimp and marinated it in a home made sauce (back pat)
Then here comes the labour intensive portion, I took 2 carrots and used the finest setting on the grater and shaved them so that I basically had carrot mush and flakes and anyone who ever does fine grating knows...look out for fingers (back pat)
Then and we can lump this all together, I chopped fresh herbs from the herb garden, fine chopped green onions, garlic, ginger etc and made an amazing stir fry with the chicken slivers, the shrimp and the fine carrot with a special red sauce (chilies, sugar, worchestershire, cane sugar, lemon juice (fresh sqeezed), sea salt, and some jamaican seasonings (boiled then simmered to thicken). All served on a bed of coconut rice yup u guessed it: BACK PAT
I know I know, you wonder why I post all this...well its cathartic, I am boasting and damn it, if I grated a piece of my thumb nail (hahah not really) you can read this post. Now seriously...envy me because the meal was bloody good.
Oh and I finished it off with FRIED ICE CREAM (back pat
Just a pat on the back, how cool am I type blog today.
Expected company, but my company was so busy that when they called and sounded dead tired on the phone I told them to not drive into town, even though I really wanted to see them (back pat)
I was asked if it was no big deal and I assured it was not (back pat)
But really I am torn up inside since I actually put in some serious effort today to try to impress since I have not been the best person the last few weeks (back pat for effort, knife in back for being a bad person)
I cleaned house, vacuumed everything in sight and purchased booze that was liked by friend (back pat)
Then I cooked. (back pat and that is before I even get to what I did)
I bought a fresh pineapple and peeled it so that the meal would be filled with fresh ingredients (back pat)
I deboned then cut up 3 whole chicken breasts into slivers no larger than 2 inches in length and no thicker than 2 mms so that they can flash fry in less than a minute (back pat)
I peeled and deveined 1.25lbs of shrimp and marinated it in a home made sauce (back pat)
Then here comes the labour intensive portion, I took 2 carrots and used the finest setting on the grater and shaved them so that I basically had carrot mush and flakes and anyone who ever does fine grating knows...look out for fingers (back pat)
Then and we can lump this all together, I chopped fresh herbs from the herb garden, fine chopped green onions, garlic, ginger etc and made an amazing stir fry with the chicken slivers, the shrimp and the fine carrot with a special red sauce (chilies, sugar, worchestershire, cane sugar, lemon juice (fresh sqeezed), sea salt, and some jamaican seasonings (boiled then simmered to thicken). All served on a bed of coconut rice yup u guessed it: BACK PAT
I know I know, you wonder why I post all this...well its cathartic, I am boasting and damn it, if I grated a piece of my thumb nail (hahah not really) you can read this post. Now seriously...envy me because the meal was bloody good.
Oh and I finished it off with FRIED ICE CREAM (back pat
Monday, November 02, 2009
Time for a blog, it has been too long, and my eye is hurting so why not
I cannot read any more cases because my right eye is so irritated I can barely look at pages, sorry for any typos but typing this with one eye open, sometimes both eyes closed and going from muscle memory.
It has been ages since I posted a blog.
Mini rants:
NEVER FLAKE ON ME, NEVER, COT DAMN IT EVER...but if you must, have a pretty damn good excuse, and communicate early and often. Being 2 hours late and then providing an excuse after you receive a call is unacceptable
Took a blow to the throat this weekend that makes it difficult to talk...if u know me, u know that must be torture.
Went out for Halloween, probably wore my laziest costume EVER. Ended up in WE HO, where 90% of the gay guys in SO CAL were, and definitely 100% of the aggressive gay guys were located.
No fights on my end, did encounter an overly aggressive guy, trying to step to my female friend that I was with. He came up and immediately hugged her, I thought at first he knew her, then quickly sensed the awkwardness of the situation. Thing is the kid looked like he might weigh less than 120, and I do not mean 120 like a boxer that packs a punch, I mean 120 like a guy that just does not gain weight. I am pretty sure the young lady could have taken him, but what would have been the fun in that? I gave the most gentle of shoves (to make him step back from her) and could feel the kids whole body shift under my arm. Would have been interesting to see her take him on.
Shout out to the outfits of my companions, very sexy, very wasted at the Abbey!! See above re 90%.
Our colleague that missed out would have spent half the night trying to conceal his crotch due to the scarcity of clothing of our friends. I took a pix but had to delete it. Out of respect to friends and fear of my girl...kidding re fear!
Cot damn, I might have to go to the doc, I really am starting to feel severe pain from this eye. Just great, I am going to walk in, barely be able to talk and just let them scream in horror at how swollen and red my eye is. I just pried it open to take a pix with my cell (too lazy to walk to a mirror) it looks nasty, and it is leaking...not sure what the hell happened. Wonder if I scratched my lens again.
Going to Vegas at the end of this week and yet, I am pretty certain I am just going to spend the weekend sleeping in the hotel room...not feeling it, and kind of worried about the party we are going to!!!
I actually carried a friend of mine out of the bar on Saturday, he blacked out so completely he had no recollection of meeting myself or the girls, or that we even hung out for a few minutes. To his friend Carol (I think that was the name) for the 20th time "OK I HEAR YOU WE ARE COMING OUTSIDE THE CLUB" HAHAH, poor girl seemed so stressed on the phone, and I was trying to hold my friend up with one hand, while trying to use his cell phone to talk to his friend...good times.
I ate way too much candy this weekend. I stepped on a scale last week and realized I have got to go back to working out...I blame the girl (ez I know). I tipped the scale this weekend at the gym at a clean 224lbs. Nope not a misprint, eye or not I made sure to type that one slowly...I WEIGH 224lbs.
So today for lunch I had steak and eggs, protein for the lift that I am going to do tonight. Tonight's dinner will be fried rice, now I know that does not sound healthy but trust me, it is how I lose weight, I dropped 40lbs in 6 months doing things like that and I will do it again.
If I go to Jamaica this heavy my parents will disown me.
Speaking of disown me, putting out an APB for a friend that used to live in America, moved back to Jamaica and has not said a word to me since.
Ok have to stop, I can barely sit up. Going to flush the eye with solution, if that does not work, I will have to scrap gym plans for tonight...and seriously at 224, I need all the gym time I can get!
Selah,
It has been ages since I posted a blog.
Mini rants:
NEVER FLAKE ON ME, NEVER, COT DAMN IT EVER...but if you must, have a pretty damn good excuse, and communicate early and often. Being 2 hours late and then providing an excuse after you receive a call is unacceptable
Took a blow to the throat this weekend that makes it difficult to talk...if u know me, u know that must be torture.
Went out for Halloween, probably wore my laziest costume EVER. Ended up in WE HO, where 90% of the gay guys in SO CAL were, and definitely 100% of the aggressive gay guys were located.
No fights on my end, did encounter an overly aggressive guy, trying to step to my female friend that I was with. He came up and immediately hugged her, I thought at first he knew her, then quickly sensed the awkwardness of the situation. Thing is the kid looked like he might weigh less than 120, and I do not mean 120 like a boxer that packs a punch, I mean 120 like a guy that just does not gain weight. I am pretty sure the young lady could have taken him, but what would have been the fun in that? I gave the most gentle of shoves (to make him step back from her) and could feel the kids whole body shift under my arm. Would have been interesting to see her take him on.
Shout out to the outfits of my companions, very sexy, very wasted at the Abbey!! See above re 90%.
Our colleague that missed out would have spent half the night trying to conceal his crotch due to the scarcity of clothing of our friends. I took a pix but had to delete it. Out of respect to friends and fear of my girl...kidding re fear!
Cot damn, I might have to go to the doc, I really am starting to feel severe pain from this eye. Just great, I am going to walk in, barely be able to talk and just let them scream in horror at how swollen and red my eye is. I just pried it open to take a pix with my cell (too lazy to walk to a mirror) it looks nasty, and it is leaking...not sure what the hell happened. Wonder if I scratched my lens again.
Going to Vegas at the end of this week and yet, I am pretty certain I am just going to spend the weekend sleeping in the hotel room...not feeling it, and kind of worried about the party we are going to!!!
I actually carried a friend of mine out of the bar on Saturday, he blacked out so completely he had no recollection of meeting myself or the girls, or that we even hung out for a few minutes. To his friend Carol (I think that was the name) for the 20th time "OK I HEAR YOU WE ARE COMING OUTSIDE THE CLUB" HAHAH, poor girl seemed so stressed on the phone, and I was trying to hold my friend up with one hand, while trying to use his cell phone to talk to his friend...good times.
I ate way too much candy this weekend. I stepped on a scale last week and realized I have got to go back to working out...I blame the girl (ez I know). I tipped the scale this weekend at the gym at a clean 224lbs. Nope not a misprint, eye or not I made sure to type that one slowly...I WEIGH 224lbs.
So today for lunch I had steak and eggs, protein for the lift that I am going to do tonight. Tonight's dinner will be fried rice, now I know that does not sound healthy but trust me, it is how I lose weight, I dropped 40lbs in 6 months doing things like that and I will do it again.
If I go to Jamaica this heavy my parents will disown me.
Speaking of disown me, putting out an APB for a friend that used to live in America, moved back to Jamaica and has not said a word to me since.
Ok have to stop, I can barely sit up. Going to flush the eye with solution, if that does not work, I will have to scrap gym plans for tonight...and seriously at 224, I need all the gym time I can get!
Selah,
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
“Love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage” (though, the horse and carriage concept is a bit outdated…I’m not saying, I’m just saying
So this is dangerous territory, writing about the fairer sex at a rapid pace and not pausing to think about your words can never be safe (rarely PC) and can lead to fun interactions, but oh well, LETS DO IT!!
A couple of my really close male friends are getting married, and they have both asked me to be in their weddings…it shows the state of my mental deficiency/incapacity/reluctance to accept that friends would get married or that they would want me in their weddings that the first words to both of them were not congratulations but “ARE YOU SURE?” Now do not get me wrong, I went on to congratulate them (sadly Greg had to prompt me on his…My Bad!), and I do think they are doing the right thing (I kid you not I actually wrote wrong thing and had to go back and change it…even my fingers will not come around to the idea) getting married, I just still have moments where marriage seems like an immense leap.
I applaud relationships, I think they are ‘great I think a man is not whole until he finds himself that special someone. But for some reason I still pause when I hear the word marriage…especially amongst my friends!!! Does it say something about the circle I am in? Does it say something about me? For instance, if Assassin right now told me he was getting married I would immediately ask him “When is the baby due?” That is WRONG, yet, 100% predictable.
As a group my friends seem so incapable of staying in lasting relationships that I guess I find it hard to believe that any of us are capable of doing the right thing…but, (and depending on the girl that could be a BIG BUTT [sorry cannot help myself]) I find myself in a relationship and I THOUROUGHLY enjoy it, she is a wonderful girl, treats me right (sometimes) great cook, witty, smart, sexier than anything you have and willing to put up with me (bonus), may it last forever.
How did this happen? I know I had no control over this, in fact I was floored to find out I was in a relationship and that too is part of what inspired this blog: MEN ARE BLOODY IDIOTS, REALLY WE ARE MORONS. I never understand guys that act like they are God’s gift to women, in reality we are LUCKY when they choose us because never mistake it, they choose us. Yeah there might be that random moment when some random quick fling daggering occurs, but when it comes to a long term relationship, they CHOOSE us, we might think we are ‘settling down’ but nope, she has made us stay home.
Is this why men cheat? Are they trying to break away and assert independence, kind of like that docile dog that one day just bites someone? Are they just trying to prove that yes you dressed me up in a pink sweater even though I have fur (you made me wear that sweater vest) and yes I allow you to walk me with a rhinestone studded leash (I went shoe shopping and kept my mouth shut) and yes you gave me a poodle cut even though I am a bull dog (yes I think it is awesome when you tell me how much of a ‘slut’ my ex-girlfriend is) I still have teeth (I have the ability to hook up with others). I swear as I type this I got this IM from Assassin (we are discussing that some cute girl is visiting his home and I called him an unflattering term for promiscuous persons: “ meh... she's here with her bf... eye candy only” - - The leash is on but he is fighting it.
My old roomie, settled down and is happy, I envy that. I want that, I like that he and his wife are making it work. Love is important, it is necessary it is hard to attain. Don’t believe me? Read on dear friend read on. I have a really good friend who seemed to have it all, his girl was making bank, he had a decent job, they had a house, they were together for years (anything over than 2 to me feels like a de facto marriage) the marriage seemed like it was inevitable but, it did not happen. Now when I first heard they broke up I thought to myself, “Dating for over 3 years, why bother to break up now?” Problem is, he was cool with how things were and ‘she’ wanted more. A relationship cannot work if one party is just ‘ok with the status quo’. In her words he needed to ‘get it together’ and while I want to disagree with her…I cannot. After three years I guess you really have to walk down that aisle or walk away from each other.
Amantes sunt amentes (lovers are lunatics):
“It's fine all of the time
Like sex on the beaches,
What else is in the teaches of peaches? huh? what?” F the pain away by Peaches (other lyrics too raunchy)
I like asking my friends this very simple question: “HAVE YOU EVER HAD SEX SOBER?” Now this does not mean blind stumbling drunk just whether the first time they had sex with someone, some alcohol was involved. The results are rarely pretty. In fact (since I am a huge fan of train-wreck theater) the results are awesome. One friend replied with, “I cannot have sex sober”. Think about it in your own life, I am not asking you about the 20th time you and your significant other engaged in sexual congress I am asking about the first time. One of my colleagues (momentary discretion here, no names) has had sex with at least 18 girls and has never had Sex Sober! Strange world we live in, that an act that comes naturally to many, and is desired by many seems to require alcohol as lubrication to grease the wheels. (Some of you can substitute high, for alcohol here and the premise remains the same)
“I hate my girl man, I am going to break up with her”
“Dude I am going to marry her, I love her man”
“Man, I need to leave her”
“She is such a bitch” [2 hours later] “Ok everything is ok now, I love her”
“Should I break up with her?” “Why won’t you tell me what you think?”
“She wants to live together” [she had previously planned to leave the city]
“You just do not understand man, she is just bitchy sometimes, otherwise we are cool”
--All of the above came from one friend over a 6 month period about his girlfriend. This is why I sometimes wonder what has become of my life, if my friends are this crazy, what does it say about me that I am still friends with the lunatics? Like clockwork every week he and I talk about how much he hates her or how much he loves her and yet he will never leave her…this cannot be healthy!
Can a girl stay in a relationship if she does not control all of it? I do not know, I am not trying to spout off, I just do not know. I watch my female friends and they seem to become flustered if they are not fully in control of the relationship (not controlling the guy, that is something else). I joked with a friend and asked her “How is the hubby?” when inquiring about her bf and she freaked out, apparently others had been making that joke recently and she was not prepared for such jokes…hmm Why? I know this blog is filled with questions, but I am just free flowing here and I realize just how little I know about a creature that I have hunted for the last 16 years of my life.
I am friends with all of my exes, I may not talk to most of them, but I am at least friends with them. So many people I know cannot abide to be anywhere near their exes and I find that strange, because at some point you must have been attracted to them, have been compatible with them, what went so wrong that you cannot even be around them? I have an ex that I even think cheated on me (may she R.I.P.) but I have never actually confronted her with it, preferring to go with the Mario Winans “I don’t wanna know” attitude.
However, (and you have to say that aggressively) I cannot abide hearing about any of my exes dating NONE OF THEM, even the ones that I just dated for a short span. So far none of my exes have gotten married; none have become pregnant (well…) or acquired kids. I do not want to date any of them again, yet I cannot stomach the thought of any of them getting married????? I am a weird guy, I am not naturally jealous and I am not selfish, in fact I have a hard time saying no (and friends use this to their advantage, I might as well open up a pro-bono moving company). Yet for some reason I do not want to think of any of ‘my girls’ with other people. I am not naïve and I even understand the science behind the body, but I still pretend that all my girlfriends are virgins, long may they remain pure!
A colleague mentioned to me that he recently re-connected with his ex-wife and he was torn about the fact that she had produced seed and was dating a guy that did not look as good as him (his judgment not mine). I could tell that he was torn up by it, and he came to me for advice, the thing is, I completely understood it, even though it was his ex-wife he still did not want to see her changed.
So many guys hope for their exes to become fat and ugly after they break up, that is the last thing I want. I would never, ever want someone I dated to become ugly, I want to always look back with no regrets, and if ‘she’ ever became ugly I would have to wonder what I saw in her.
Finally, believe it guys, we have no control, NONE, the moment you accept that, you will enjoy your relationships more. Girls dress for each other, not for you. You are barely window dressing on the house; when they take you shopping, you are not there to approve outfits you are there to either talk to them or to make you feel like you are included and have a say (you have none, my girl actually told me that to my face…I already knew it).
I should re do my business cards and on the back put:
“To all male clients please practice saying these words:
- You are right, I am wrong
- Those look great
- Anything you want
- Sweet, I would love to do that
- No, this game is not that important
- I think your sister is pretty [use for an escape moment when you really, really want to get out of the relationship]
Selah,
A couple of my really close male friends are getting married, and they have both asked me to be in their weddings…it shows the state of my mental deficiency/incapacity/reluctance to accept that friends would get married or that they would want me in their weddings that the first words to both of them were not congratulations but “ARE YOU SURE?” Now do not get me wrong, I went on to congratulate them (sadly Greg had to prompt me on his…My Bad!), and I do think they are doing the right thing (I kid you not I actually wrote wrong thing and had to go back and change it…even my fingers will not come around to the idea) getting married, I just still have moments where marriage seems like an immense leap.
I applaud relationships, I think they are ‘great I think a man is not whole until he finds himself that special someone. But for some reason I still pause when I hear the word marriage…especially amongst my friends!!! Does it say something about the circle I am in? Does it say something about me? For instance, if Assassin right now told me he was getting married I would immediately ask him “When is the baby due?” That is WRONG, yet, 100% predictable.
As a group my friends seem so incapable of staying in lasting relationships that I guess I find it hard to believe that any of us are capable of doing the right thing…but, (and depending on the girl that could be a BIG BUTT [sorry cannot help myself]) I find myself in a relationship and I THOUROUGHLY enjoy it, she is a wonderful girl, treats me right (sometimes) great cook, witty, smart, sexier than anything you have and willing to put up with me (bonus), may it last forever.
How did this happen? I know I had no control over this, in fact I was floored to find out I was in a relationship and that too is part of what inspired this blog: MEN ARE BLOODY IDIOTS, REALLY WE ARE MORONS. I never understand guys that act like they are God’s gift to women, in reality we are LUCKY when they choose us because never mistake it, they choose us. Yeah there might be that random moment when some random quick fling daggering occurs, but when it comes to a long term relationship, they CHOOSE us, we might think we are ‘settling down’ but nope, she has made us stay home.
Is this why men cheat? Are they trying to break away and assert independence, kind of like that docile dog that one day just bites someone? Are they just trying to prove that yes you dressed me up in a pink sweater even though I have fur (you made me wear that sweater vest) and yes I allow you to walk me with a rhinestone studded leash (I went shoe shopping and kept my mouth shut) and yes you gave me a poodle cut even though I am a bull dog (yes I think it is awesome when you tell me how much of a ‘slut’ my ex-girlfriend is) I still have teeth (I have the ability to hook up with others). I swear as I type this I got this IM from Assassin (we are discussing that some cute girl is visiting his home and I called him an unflattering term for promiscuous persons: “ meh... she's here with her bf... eye candy only” - - The leash is on but he is fighting it.
My old roomie, settled down and is happy, I envy that. I want that, I like that he and his wife are making it work. Love is important, it is necessary it is hard to attain. Don’t believe me? Read on dear friend read on. I have a really good friend who seemed to have it all, his girl was making bank, he had a decent job, they had a house, they were together for years (anything over than 2 to me feels like a de facto marriage) the marriage seemed like it was inevitable but, it did not happen. Now when I first heard they broke up I thought to myself, “Dating for over 3 years, why bother to break up now?” Problem is, he was cool with how things were and ‘she’ wanted more. A relationship cannot work if one party is just ‘ok with the status quo’. In her words he needed to ‘get it together’ and while I want to disagree with her…I cannot. After three years I guess you really have to walk down that aisle or walk away from each other.
Amantes sunt amentes (lovers are lunatics):
“It's fine all of the time
Like sex on the beaches,
What else is in the teaches of peaches? huh? what?” F the pain away by Peaches (other lyrics too raunchy)
I like asking my friends this very simple question: “HAVE YOU EVER HAD SEX SOBER?” Now this does not mean blind stumbling drunk just whether the first time they had sex with someone, some alcohol was involved. The results are rarely pretty. In fact (since I am a huge fan of train-wreck theater) the results are awesome. One friend replied with, “I cannot have sex sober”. Think about it in your own life, I am not asking you about the 20th time you and your significant other engaged in sexual congress I am asking about the first time. One of my colleagues (momentary discretion here, no names) has had sex with at least 18 girls and has never had Sex Sober! Strange world we live in, that an act that comes naturally to many, and is desired by many seems to require alcohol as lubrication to grease the wheels. (Some of you can substitute high, for alcohol here and the premise remains the same)
“I hate my girl man, I am going to break up with her”
“Dude I am going to marry her, I love her man”
“Man, I need to leave her”
“She is such a bitch” [2 hours later] “Ok everything is ok now, I love her”
“Should I break up with her?” “Why won’t you tell me what you think?”
“She wants to live together” [she had previously planned to leave the city]
“You just do not understand man, she is just bitchy sometimes, otherwise we are cool”
--All of the above came from one friend over a 6 month period about his girlfriend. This is why I sometimes wonder what has become of my life, if my friends are this crazy, what does it say about me that I am still friends with the lunatics? Like clockwork every week he and I talk about how much he hates her or how much he loves her and yet he will never leave her…this cannot be healthy!
Can a girl stay in a relationship if she does not control all of it? I do not know, I am not trying to spout off, I just do not know. I watch my female friends and they seem to become flustered if they are not fully in control of the relationship (not controlling the guy, that is something else). I joked with a friend and asked her “How is the hubby?” when inquiring about her bf and she freaked out, apparently others had been making that joke recently and she was not prepared for such jokes…hmm Why? I know this blog is filled with questions, but I am just free flowing here and I realize just how little I know about a creature that I have hunted for the last 16 years of my life.
I am friends with all of my exes, I may not talk to most of them, but I am at least friends with them. So many people I know cannot abide to be anywhere near their exes and I find that strange, because at some point you must have been attracted to them, have been compatible with them, what went so wrong that you cannot even be around them? I have an ex that I even think cheated on me (may she R.I.P.) but I have never actually confronted her with it, preferring to go with the Mario Winans “I don’t wanna know” attitude.
However, (and you have to say that aggressively) I cannot abide hearing about any of my exes dating NONE OF THEM, even the ones that I just dated for a short span. So far none of my exes have gotten married; none have become pregnant (well…) or acquired kids. I do not want to date any of them again, yet I cannot stomach the thought of any of them getting married????? I am a weird guy, I am not naturally jealous and I am not selfish, in fact I have a hard time saying no (and friends use this to their advantage, I might as well open up a pro-bono moving company). Yet for some reason I do not want to think of any of ‘my girls’ with other people. I am not naïve and I even understand the science behind the body, but I still pretend that all my girlfriends are virgins, long may they remain pure!
A colleague mentioned to me that he recently re-connected with his ex-wife and he was torn about the fact that she had produced seed and was dating a guy that did not look as good as him (his judgment not mine). I could tell that he was torn up by it, and he came to me for advice, the thing is, I completely understood it, even though it was his ex-wife he still did not want to see her changed.
So many guys hope for their exes to become fat and ugly after they break up, that is the last thing I want. I would never, ever want someone I dated to become ugly, I want to always look back with no regrets, and if ‘she’ ever became ugly I would have to wonder what I saw in her.
Finally, believe it guys, we have no control, NONE, the moment you accept that, you will enjoy your relationships more. Girls dress for each other, not for you. You are barely window dressing on the house; when they take you shopping, you are not there to approve outfits you are there to either talk to them or to make you feel like you are included and have a say (you have none, my girl actually told me that to my face…I already knew it).
I should re do my business cards and on the back put:
“To all male clients please practice saying these words:
- You are right, I am wrong
- Those look great
- Anything you want
- Sweet, I would love to do that
- No, this game is not that important
- I think your sister is pretty [use for an escape moment when you really, really want to get out of the relationship]
Selah,
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Jordan Crawford dunks on Lebron James
So, TMZ hyped their video but turns out Ebaum nation has a much better clip. HERE IS THE LINK...hiding it just made it take on legendary status!
http://ebaumnation.com/2009/07/22/jordan-crawford-dunks-on-lebron-james
http://ebaumnation.com/2009/07/22/jordan-crawford-dunks-on-lebron-james
Monday, July 20, 2009
Saturday was kind of a good day,
- Did some legal work – no stress
- Made some good breakfast – fried dumpling, beer and breakfast tortillas
- Picked up some DVDs- nice weekday night plans
- Spoke to the crazy chica – re-enforced my beliefs
- Had dinner with the bro and his girl- good food great views
- Hit the Korean market – yellow tail, ground pork, shrimp and tones of veggies and fruit – FEASTING THIS WEEK
- Hung with the neighbor – beer and wine for supper great, great plan!
- Made some good breakfast – fried dumpling, beer and breakfast tortillas
- Picked up some DVDs- nice weekday night plans
- Spoke to the crazy chica – re-enforced my beliefs
- Had dinner with the bro and his girl- good food great views
- Hit the Korean market – yellow tail, ground pork, shrimp and tones of veggies and fruit – FEASTING THIS WEEK
- Hung with the neighbor – beer and wine for supper great, great plan!
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
Can Chris Brown save career with plea deal in assault on Rihanna? | Gold Derby | Los Angeles Times
Can Chris Brown save career with plea deal in assault on Rihanna? | Gold Derby | Los Angeles Times
Interesting article, it says a lot that I agree with i.e. the Grammys and Oscars are often out of touch with trends and refuse to honor the most deserving for fear of how they might be reflected!
Interesting article, it says a lot that I agree with i.e. the Grammys and Oscars are often out of touch with trends and refuse to honor the most deserving for fear of how they might be reflected!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
June 13th = a very good saturday
Test drove a Kia for 5 minutes it lead to a $20 gift card at Korean market. If you have ever been to the Asian market you will know that $20 will put you in food for 2 weeks or more. In my case I wanted a $20lb sack of rice, some booze, some veggies, some meat, some fruit and some seasoning and I only paid $3 thanks to the test drive!!! Good times. And it all started because I flirted with this cute girl in the store and she let me know that free money was being given away.
Assassin and I then stopped at bev mo, grabbed some 'scotchy scotch scotch' and drank to start the afternoon while I grilled 1lb burgers!!!
But the drinking was NOT enough to stop us from playing tennis for 2 hours, it might however be the reason why we completed only one set despite playing for TWO HOURS!!! The game finally ended at 11-9 one set, the second set will be played later today.
Then it was time to go see the hangover; despite the fact that the movie started at 8 and we were still at my crib at 8...but the day was going too well, so of course we made it to the movie just as the final waste of time trailer/ad rolled BONUS.
We drank scotch throughout the movie...then ran to the Loo at the end of the movie (very funny movie, go see it!). Not the best plan to drive home after the movie so we walked into UP since it had been getting rave reviews...I can see why.
Finally made it back to the crib, more scotch, quick walk to the bars. Met a girl who was giving me the 'eye' I FROZE, I mean I completely lost the skill to step to her. Sand Assassin gave me the look of shame (then he froze later when meeting a hot chick...Hahah SUCKER!!!!) Finally screwed up courage at the 2nd bar. Now unwinding, it was a good day/night. Hopefully the Lakers lose later and neither SA or myself dies of alcohol poisoning or the pharmaceuticals that we may or may not have accidentally mixed in with them.
Assassin and I then stopped at bev mo, grabbed some 'scotchy scotch scotch' and drank to start the afternoon while I grilled 1lb burgers!!!
But the drinking was NOT enough to stop us from playing tennis for 2 hours, it might however be the reason why we completed only one set despite playing for TWO HOURS!!! The game finally ended at 11-9 one set, the second set will be played later today.
Then it was time to go see the hangover; despite the fact that the movie started at 8 and we were still at my crib at 8...but the day was going too well, so of course we made it to the movie just as the final waste of time trailer/ad rolled BONUS.
We drank scotch throughout the movie...then ran to the Loo at the end of the movie (very funny movie, go see it!). Not the best plan to drive home after the movie so we walked into UP since it had been getting rave reviews...I can see why.
Finally made it back to the crib, more scotch, quick walk to the bars. Met a girl who was giving me the 'eye' I FROZE, I mean I completely lost the skill to step to her. Sand Assassin gave me the look of shame (then he froze later when meeting a hot chick...Hahah SUCKER!!!!) Finally screwed up courage at the 2nd bar. Now unwinding, it was a good day/night. Hopefully the Lakers lose later and neither SA or myself dies of alcohol poisoning or the pharmaceuticals that we may or may not have accidentally mixed in with them.
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Lebron is a brat, plain, simple and understandable
It is easy to bash Lebron after his graceless exit following his team’s loss to Orlando over the weekend. A player who has coveted and basked in the media’s spotlight for years suddenly did not want to deal with the harsh light of reality when the biggest question he might be asked would be “Why did your team lose?”
Spare me the he is young excuse. Lebron is 24 and has been in the league for 6 years, he is so mature that most people in their 40s could look to him for guidance. Yes he had to grow up fast but when you have the publicity/support/monetary machine that surrounds
Lebron, you grow up fast.
The fact that the league has not (yet) fined him for skipping out on the post game press conference is farcical and proves the conspiracy wonks right…the league favors its stars.
Many Lebron backers are saying he left without doing the obligatory post game press conference because he did not want to bash his team mates – and that is a defense? I am supposed to believe that Lebron was merely following the principle of “if you cannot say something nice don’t say anything at all”. Well that is (in old sportswriter terminology) HOGWASH. There were plenty of nice things he could have said: “We lost to a better team”, “We got our butts Kicked”, “We were out hustled, out-maneuvered”, “The Magic are a great team”, “Dwight Howard is superman and he owns my team” ok he would probably never say the last one, but it is true.
But if he really wanted to be the ‘King James’ that many expect him to be, he could have come out and said something that I would have really admired, allow me for a moment to be Lebron answering an imaginary question:
Reporter from Cleveland: “Lebron what are your thoughts on this your second straight exit just before the NBA finals”
Lebron: “What can I say? We were out coached so badly that it makes it even funnier that Mike Brown won coach of the year when anyone who follows basketball knows that we won 60 plus games because I play on this team, we caught fire at home, we have great fans, caught many a team flat, played with intensity because for most of our players the greatest thing we can aspire to is a great record not a title. Our coach won coach of the year because writers are often too lazy to look at actual circumstances and would rather just look at plain numbers; “Team X has more wins so they must have the best”. Because it would be too hard to swallow that the coach of Oklahoma has less talent and tougher circumstances and did a much better job even if his team had less wins, or that Greg Popovich had to deal with injuries all year but still got his team a great record. Or how about George Karl and his bunch of knuckleheads, his team was practically transformed in the middle of the season and still he was a force in the West, and this is before we get to the coach of the team that beat us!
“But what are my thoughts? Did you see my team out there? I have a guy making predictions that we are the better team, the best team in the NBA and then he cannot hit a jump shot if you widened the rim to 5 feet and lowered it 3 feet. I have power forwards who could not make my high school team. We could not stop anyone and this team won 2 games ONLY because of me, not partly because of me…ONLY. That 3 pointer I hit in game 3 was ridiculous; did you see how I celebrated after that? And of course no ref dared T me up like they did D ho ’cause I am LBJ, I am that good.
MY TEAM SUCKS, no really put that in the paper, WE SUCK, everyone automatically assumed I would make the finals, and I stared to believe it. I have more commercials out right now than games played in the Conference finals. I might as well go help Kobe look for his “3 championship rings” because that is the closest I am getting to a ring this year. I put up 38/8/8 and still could not even make a game 7 much less the finals. If you think I am going to sign that extension you are crazy or you have some last second ransom you are going to spring on me to force me to stay, because as soon as I can get out of here I am going.”
Cavaliers’ management scrambling to podium: “PRESS CONFERENCE OVER!”
Or of course he could have just said “Both teams played hard” (Shout out to Rasheed Wallace)
But to just put your headphones on and walk out to the bus, that was bush league. To not even shake the hand of your Olympic team-mate, that was tasteless. But, wait, you have been given a chance to redeem yourself, you can hold a press conference after you have had a chance to cool off, surely now you will say something contrite and explain away the childish behavior.
WRONG!
In his press conference a day after the game, LBJ did not apologize for his actions instead he offered up excuses: He told us that he emailed Dwight Howard…look I have enemies I respect enough to actually call if I have to congratulate them, much less a team-mate that I won a gold medal with. He then told the world that he walked off because he is a winner and that winners do not like to lose (ignore the oxymoron for a second) and that no one congratulates the person that kicks their ass.
So what I take from this is that Lebron has never watched a single Boxing match, MMA fight, Karate Tournament, any version of Rocky, a hockey game, a little league match, Tennis (especially Serena vs. anyone from France), old highlights of Jordan (he wears 23 too) vs. the Lakers/Pistons/Celtics. Hell apparently he never played a friendly pickup game, or flag football or just a game of cards apparently Lebron has only ever watched Lebron. It is a time honored part of sports to congratulate your opponent win or lose. It is not humiliating it is respect. It is not humbling yourself; it is acknowledgment of the nature of the shared activity.
Look even Mike Tyson at the end of a fight with Lennox Lewis where he previously threatened to eat Lennox’s children (HIS CHILDREN!) congratulated Lennox on beating him into submission. If Tyson, one of the craziest and most dangerous men ever to engage in an athletic endeavor can have the grace to shake his opponents hand, your not doing it, diminishes you.
But really Lebron – you are a winner so you did not shake your opponents hands? Uhmm, if you are such a winner why is your team now “Gone Fishing” while the Magic play this Thursday? Can you really call yourself a winner when your team just got soundly beaten and LOST? You lost the game and then you lost respect by your actions…man up!
There is currently a very popular phrase in the vernacular of the streets…Bitch Made; Lebron, I never thought I could apply that to you, but those actions this weekend were Bitch Made. This is the first time that I have seen that you lacked that positive male influence in shaping your youth that would have told you…“that is not cool you never walk off like that.”
Some are now saying this has done irreparable harm to your image, I even heard a sports talk host here in LA claim that you would lose endorsements because of it. That is just reactionary talk, you will overcome this, mainly because your marketing machine is so good that they will immediately impress upon you that this can never happen again. But, I hope you will overcome this because of the strength of character that I think I see in you.
You came into the league with incredible pressure on you, and for the most part have handled it better than anyone could have expected, learn from this and come out better than ever.
p.s. I really wish someone when you were 13 had told you, do NOT wear number 23!
Spare me the he is young excuse. Lebron is 24 and has been in the league for 6 years, he is so mature that most people in their 40s could look to him for guidance. Yes he had to grow up fast but when you have the publicity/support/monetary machine that surrounds
Lebron, you grow up fast.
The fact that the league has not (yet) fined him for skipping out on the post game press conference is farcical and proves the conspiracy wonks right…the league favors its stars.
Many Lebron backers are saying he left without doing the obligatory post game press conference because he did not want to bash his team mates – and that is a defense? I am supposed to believe that Lebron was merely following the principle of “if you cannot say something nice don’t say anything at all”. Well that is (in old sportswriter terminology) HOGWASH. There were plenty of nice things he could have said: “We lost to a better team”, “We got our butts Kicked”, “We were out hustled, out-maneuvered”, “The Magic are a great team”, “Dwight Howard is superman and he owns my team” ok he would probably never say the last one, but it is true.
But if he really wanted to be the ‘King James’ that many expect him to be, he could have come out and said something that I would have really admired, allow me for a moment to be Lebron answering an imaginary question:
Reporter from Cleveland: “Lebron what are your thoughts on this your second straight exit just before the NBA finals”
Lebron: “What can I say? We were out coached so badly that it makes it even funnier that Mike Brown won coach of the year when anyone who follows basketball knows that we won 60 plus games because I play on this team, we caught fire at home, we have great fans, caught many a team flat, played with intensity because for most of our players the greatest thing we can aspire to is a great record not a title. Our coach won coach of the year because writers are often too lazy to look at actual circumstances and would rather just look at plain numbers; “Team X has more wins so they must have the best”. Because it would be too hard to swallow that the coach of Oklahoma has less talent and tougher circumstances and did a much better job even if his team had less wins, or that Greg Popovich had to deal with injuries all year but still got his team a great record. Or how about George Karl and his bunch of knuckleheads, his team was practically transformed in the middle of the season and still he was a force in the West, and this is before we get to the coach of the team that beat us!
“But what are my thoughts? Did you see my team out there? I have a guy making predictions that we are the better team, the best team in the NBA and then he cannot hit a jump shot if you widened the rim to 5 feet and lowered it 3 feet. I have power forwards who could not make my high school team. We could not stop anyone and this team won 2 games ONLY because of me, not partly because of me…ONLY. That 3 pointer I hit in game 3 was ridiculous; did you see how I celebrated after that? And of course no ref dared T me up like they did D ho ’cause I am LBJ, I am that good.
MY TEAM SUCKS, no really put that in the paper, WE SUCK, everyone automatically assumed I would make the finals, and I stared to believe it. I have more commercials out right now than games played in the Conference finals. I might as well go help Kobe look for his “3 championship rings” because that is the closest I am getting to a ring this year. I put up 38/8/8 and still could not even make a game 7 much less the finals. If you think I am going to sign that extension you are crazy or you have some last second ransom you are going to spring on me to force me to stay, because as soon as I can get out of here I am going.”
Cavaliers’ management scrambling to podium: “PRESS CONFERENCE OVER!”
Or of course he could have just said “Both teams played hard” (Shout out to Rasheed Wallace)
But to just put your headphones on and walk out to the bus, that was bush league. To not even shake the hand of your Olympic team-mate, that was tasteless. But, wait, you have been given a chance to redeem yourself, you can hold a press conference after you have had a chance to cool off, surely now you will say something contrite and explain away the childish behavior.
WRONG!
In his press conference a day after the game, LBJ did not apologize for his actions instead he offered up excuses: He told us that he emailed Dwight Howard…look I have enemies I respect enough to actually call if I have to congratulate them, much less a team-mate that I won a gold medal with. He then told the world that he walked off because he is a winner and that winners do not like to lose (ignore the oxymoron for a second) and that no one congratulates the person that kicks their ass.
So what I take from this is that Lebron has never watched a single Boxing match, MMA fight, Karate Tournament, any version of Rocky, a hockey game, a little league match, Tennis (especially Serena vs. anyone from France), old highlights of Jordan (he wears 23 too) vs. the Lakers/Pistons/Celtics. Hell apparently he never played a friendly pickup game, or flag football or just a game of cards apparently Lebron has only ever watched Lebron. It is a time honored part of sports to congratulate your opponent win or lose. It is not humiliating it is respect. It is not humbling yourself; it is acknowledgment of the nature of the shared activity.
Look even Mike Tyson at the end of a fight with Lennox Lewis where he previously threatened to eat Lennox’s children (HIS CHILDREN!) congratulated Lennox on beating him into submission. If Tyson, one of the craziest and most dangerous men ever to engage in an athletic endeavor can have the grace to shake his opponents hand, your not doing it, diminishes you.
But really Lebron – you are a winner so you did not shake your opponents hands? Uhmm, if you are such a winner why is your team now “Gone Fishing” while the Magic play this Thursday? Can you really call yourself a winner when your team just got soundly beaten and LOST? You lost the game and then you lost respect by your actions…man up!
There is currently a very popular phrase in the vernacular of the streets…Bitch Made; Lebron, I never thought I could apply that to you, but those actions this weekend were Bitch Made. This is the first time that I have seen that you lacked that positive male influence in shaping your youth that would have told you…“that is not cool you never walk off like that.”
Some are now saying this has done irreparable harm to your image, I even heard a sports talk host here in LA claim that you would lose endorsements because of it. That is just reactionary talk, you will overcome this, mainly because your marketing machine is so good that they will immediately impress upon you that this can never happen again. But, I hope you will overcome this because of the strength of character that I think I see in you.
You came into the league with incredible pressure on you, and for the most part have handled it better than anyone could have expected, learn from this and come out better than ever.
p.s. I really wish someone when you were 13 had told you, do NOT wear number 23!
Monday, June 01, 2009
Why Orlando could win but the Lakers should…
Ok the title is not the greatest, I really hate when sports writers waffle and refuse to pick a side, yet at the same time I understand it.
Well if I am going to just wantonly give a prediction, I will say Orlando in 6 with the Lakers having the choking label attached to them!
See looking at that sentence you would say, come on he is crazy, if you are going to pick Orlando it has to be a hard fought series going all the way. BUT, history favors the home team winning game 7s so if I predict a 7 game series and I trust history I would have to give the win to LA, right? And history says the Lakers struggle against speedy guards …Skip to my lou is so much better and faster than Derek Fisher at this point in their careers that the point guard advantage is strongly in favor of Orlando?
The Lakers were the most talented team in the playoffs by far. I know many predicted Denver over the Lakers, but I think most of those predictions were based on hope and fatigue at the Laker hype and Kobe and Lebron puppets. In a head to head matchup there are few players on the Denver starting 5 that could replace the Lakers starting 5. Yes they are flashier, much more likeable guys but when you really dig deep down to your core as a fan, do you prefer likeable to championships? Before you answer that think again about John Stockton…very likeable guy…zero wins. Now if you are a Utah fan would you have traded all those years of Stockton for 2 titles with Kobe?
Or Lakers fans who now claim that the best decision was cutting Shaq. Would you have been fine with having discontent in your team but 3 more titles? Or are you really happy with the last 5 years of your team? I know many now claim that it was a great decision to get rid of Shaq but really, how good a decision was it? The team went into a spiral, has the label of petulant and soft and is one of the most hated franchises in the league…with Shaq you would have been hated but champs. And please do not give me the garbage of Kobe threatening to leave if Shaq stayed. Kobe was a petulant child (maybe still is) who pouts when he does not have his way, he has held your franchise ransom time and time again (hell there was even a rumored threat that he would play for the Clippers) bashed team mates and always came back. He was never leaving as long as he thought he could keep winning with Shaq.
But sorry, I have floated so far away from the topic that I could be a plot line on Family Guy (insert random fight with a chicken here). Orlando presents matchup problems for the ‘Talented Lakers’, who on the Lakers is going to guard Dwight Howard? Other than the refs I mean. I am constantly amused by the new ways in which a ‘superstar’ like Dwight does not get ‘superstar’ calls? Does David Stern have a daughter? Did he catch her in bed with D Ho? Did he defile Stern’s wife? What is it? Lebron gets free throws if a fan from the other team stares at him. Dwight has a foul called on him for a clean block on a 3 point attempt that did not even need replay for the world to see how bogus it was.
Is it because he is signed to Adidas? Is the league owned by Nike? The ads would seem to suggest that.
A colleague of mine has for ages drank the kool aid (probably lemon lime or some other weak flavor like that) that D Ho is soft. I have argued that he is not soft, people just do not give him enough credit and are not exposed enough to his games. I now add to that analysis, I think part of the problem is that when he plays ‘hard’ he picks up ridiculous fouls and technicals and thus has to spend so much time on the bench that his ‘soft’ play is necessary for continued minutes.
To buttress this argument I point to the technical that was rescinded by the league. D ho was being mauled under the hoop by Anderson V (one of the sneaky dirty players in the league) catching the ball he goes up strong and gets a basket and an ‘and one’ he flexes like ‘players with passion’ are supposed to react and he gets T-d up for taunting…hmm. I think because he has the body and strength of Shaq but did not build up the cache of good will and publicity that Shaq had received from his brief time at LSU, D Ho is yet to get the respects of the refs. I suspect that by next year some of the ticky tack fouls that he has to deal with now will no longer be a problem and he will be allowed to be more ‘aggressive’.
The 5 best players in the NBA in no particular order are Kobe, Lebron, Dwight Howard, Chris Paul, Tim Duncan (when healthy – increasingly rare), my Spurs bias says that Tony Parker is knocking on that door, before you laugh completely at that, look at his stats in the last finals, and look at his playoffs stats every year, then get back to me with your laugh. I am not sure where to put Carmelo, I think he could replace Paul…but not sure.
Now the problem for the rest of the league is that on that list of 5, 2 have players on their team that can at any given month be in the top 25 players in the league. Kobe has Gasol and Odom. Duncan has Ginobli and Parker. Lebron has a bunch of scrubs (Boobie it pains me to say this, but you have to be more consistent to rise above the scrub label) and a maybe in Mo Williams. Chris Paul has a decent supporting staff, but it is becoming increasingly apparent that pieces are missing and that maybe he is not quite the leader he needs to be, yet. Dwight Howard has a bunch of adequate shooters surrounding him and a ton of players with that immeasurable statistic, Heart!
So in the finals if we looked solely at stars it would be Kobe – Gasol – Odom – D Fish’s knees - over-rated Bynum – Ariza and some mixture of Walton/Brown/and 24 more fouls to give vs. Dwight Howard – Hedo – Rafer Alston (Skip to my Lou) – possibly Jameer Nelson (I listed Rafer first because of health) and a bunch of players that at this stage are just interchangeable.
So on paper it really should be the Lakers, most of the players on Orlando would struggle to make the Lakers playoff roster yet, Orlando has looked like the more impressive team, how come? I say it must be D Ho!
Point to anyone in this league that can guard him; the only physical presence similar to his is Shaq and Shaq lacks his athleticism. If he is allowed to play free of the simplistic fouls that have plagued him, he could systematically destroy the Lakers front line. The greatest mystery to me of these playoffs is the fact that Anderson Varajo did not foul out every game in the first half.
D Ho has the power of Shaq, the athleticism of Lebron, the shooting touch of Vlade Divac and unfortunately the ball handling skills of a first day porn star. If he improves his handle and his shooting touch he will be unstoppable. Have I mentioned that his free throws have improved to the point that a team cannot risk adopting the hack-a-Dwight strategy?
Kobe will get his points, no one in the league is truly a Kobe Stopper, I am looking at you Ruben Patterson, if you are even still in the league. But I suspect the strategy will have to be to try to contain Kobe while shutting down the rest of the Lakers. Lakers fans will hate hearing this but I love seeing D Fish shoot, if he is out there jacking up shots it means that one less reliable Laker has a chance to touch the ball, “shoot Fish shoot”. The wild card as it almost always is; is Odom. Gasol is guaranteed to be consistent, he will get his points, he will get his rebounds, we will all call him soft but he will do the job he is supposed to do. But, Odom, Odom might average 24/11 or he might disappear and turn in 12/6 performances all series.
Odom is basically part of the beauty of sports and why predictions are so difficult…until the game is actually played you cannot really know what is going to happen. Detroit can beat LA when Shaq and Kobe were already being fitted for their rings. Mine that Bird can win the Derby as a 50-1 underdog; while a filly that was not even in the race goes on to win the next leg of the Triple Crown. A tiny island known more for reggae music than sports can sweep the sprints at the Olympics and take the spotlight from a pot-smoker that floats in a pool. And Superman might decide to put on his cape and deliver some Magic in the NBA finals.
Well if I am going to just wantonly give a prediction, I will say Orlando in 6 with the Lakers having the choking label attached to them!
See looking at that sentence you would say, come on he is crazy, if you are going to pick Orlando it has to be a hard fought series going all the way. BUT, history favors the home team winning game 7s so if I predict a 7 game series and I trust history I would have to give the win to LA, right? And history says the Lakers struggle against speedy guards …Skip to my lou is so much better and faster than Derek Fisher at this point in their careers that the point guard advantage is strongly in favor of Orlando?
The Lakers were the most talented team in the playoffs by far. I know many predicted Denver over the Lakers, but I think most of those predictions were based on hope and fatigue at the Laker hype and Kobe and Lebron puppets. In a head to head matchup there are few players on the Denver starting 5 that could replace the Lakers starting 5. Yes they are flashier, much more likeable guys but when you really dig deep down to your core as a fan, do you prefer likeable to championships? Before you answer that think again about John Stockton…very likeable guy…zero wins. Now if you are a Utah fan would you have traded all those years of Stockton for 2 titles with Kobe?
Or Lakers fans who now claim that the best decision was cutting Shaq. Would you have been fine with having discontent in your team but 3 more titles? Or are you really happy with the last 5 years of your team? I know many now claim that it was a great decision to get rid of Shaq but really, how good a decision was it? The team went into a spiral, has the label of petulant and soft and is one of the most hated franchises in the league…with Shaq you would have been hated but champs. And please do not give me the garbage of Kobe threatening to leave if Shaq stayed. Kobe was a petulant child (maybe still is) who pouts when he does not have his way, he has held your franchise ransom time and time again (hell there was even a rumored threat that he would play for the Clippers) bashed team mates and always came back. He was never leaving as long as he thought he could keep winning with Shaq.
But sorry, I have floated so far away from the topic that I could be a plot line on Family Guy (insert random fight with a chicken here). Orlando presents matchup problems for the ‘Talented Lakers’, who on the Lakers is going to guard Dwight Howard? Other than the refs I mean. I am constantly amused by the new ways in which a ‘superstar’ like Dwight does not get ‘superstar’ calls? Does David Stern have a daughter? Did he catch her in bed with D Ho? Did he defile Stern’s wife? What is it? Lebron gets free throws if a fan from the other team stares at him. Dwight has a foul called on him for a clean block on a 3 point attempt that did not even need replay for the world to see how bogus it was.
Is it because he is signed to Adidas? Is the league owned by Nike? The ads would seem to suggest that.
A colleague of mine has for ages drank the kool aid (probably lemon lime or some other weak flavor like that) that D Ho is soft. I have argued that he is not soft, people just do not give him enough credit and are not exposed enough to his games. I now add to that analysis, I think part of the problem is that when he plays ‘hard’ he picks up ridiculous fouls and technicals and thus has to spend so much time on the bench that his ‘soft’ play is necessary for continued minutes.
To buttress this argument I point to the technical that was rescinded by the league. D ho was being mauled under the hoop by Anderson V (one of the sneaky dirty players in the league) catching the ball he goes up strong and gets a basket and an ‘and one’ he flexes like ‘players with passion’ are supposed to react and he gets T-d up for taunting…hmm. I think because he has the body and strength of Shaq but did not build up the cache of good will and publicity that Shaq had received from his brief time at LSU, D Ho is yet to get the respects of the refs. I suspect that by next year some of the ticky tack fouls that he has to deal with now will no longer be a problem and he will be allowed to be more ‘aggressive’.
The 5 best players in the NBA in no particular order are Kobe, Lebron, Dwight Howard, Chris Paul, Tim Duncan (when healthy – increasingly rare), my Spurs bias says that Tony Parker is knocking on that door, before you laugh completely at that, look at his stats in the last finals, and look at his playoffs stats every year, then get back to me with your laugh. I am not sure where to put Carmelo, I think he could replace Paul…but not sure.
Now the problem for the rest of the league is that on that list of 5, 2 have players on their team that can at any given month be in the top 25 players in the league. Kobe has Gasol and Odom. Duncan has Ginobli and Parker. Lebron has a bunch of scrubs (Boobie it pains me to say this, but you have to be more consistent to rise above the scrub label) and a maybe in Mo Williams. Chris Paul has a decent supporting staff, but it is becoming increasingly apparent that pieces are missing and that maybe he is not quite the leader he needs to be, yet. Dwight Howard has a bunch of adequate shooters surrounding him and a ton of players with that immeasurable statistic, Heart!
So in the finals if we looked solely at stars it would be Kobe – Gasol – Odom – D Fish’s knees - over-rated Bynum – Ariza and some mixture of Walton/Brown/and 24 more fouls to give vs. Dwight Howard – Hedo – Rafer Alston (Skip to my Lou) – possibly Jameer Nelson (I listed Rafer first because of health) and a bunch of players that at this stage are just interchangeable.
So on paper it really should be the Lakers, most of the players on Orlando would struggle to make the Lakers playoff roster yet, Orlando has looked like the more impressive team, how come? I say it must be D Ho!
Point to anyone in this league that can guard him; the only physical presence similar to his is Shaq and Shaq lacks his athleticism. If he is allowed to play free of the simplistic fouls that have plagued him, he could systematically destroy the Lakers front line. The greatest mystery to me of these playoffs is the fact that Anderson Varajo did not foul out every game in the first half.
D Ho has the power of Shaq, the athleticism of Lebron, the shooting touch of Vlade Divac and unfortunately the ball handling skills of a first day porn star. If he improves his handle and his shooting touch he will be unstoppable. Have I mentioned that his free throws have improved to the point that a team cannot risk adopting the hack-a-Dwight strategy?
Kobe will get his points, no one in the league is truly a Kobe Stopper, I am looking at you Ruben Patterson, if you are even still in the league. But I suspect the strategy will have to be to try to contain Kobe while shutting down the rest of the Lakers. Lakers fans will hate hearing this but I love seeing D Fish shoot, if he is out there jacking up shots it means that one less reliable Laker has a chance to touch the ball, “shoot Fish shoot”. The wild card as it almost always is; is Odom. Gasol is guaranteed to be consistent, he will get his points, he will get his rebounds, we will all call him soft but he will do the job he is supposed to do. But, Odom, Odom might average 24/11 or he might disappear and turn in 12/6 performances all series.
Odom is basically part of the beauty of sports and why predictions are so difficult…until the game is actually played you cannot really know what is going to happen. Detroit can beat LA when Shaq and Kobe were already being fitted for their rings. Mine that Bird can win the Derby as a 50-1 underdog; while a filly that was not even in the race goes on to win the next leg of the Triple Crown. A tiny island known more for reggae music than sports can sweep the sprints at the Olympics and take the spotlight from a pot-smoker that floats in a pool. And Superman might decide to put on his cape and deliver some Magic in the NBA finals.
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About Me
- Cali J
- Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.