Bachelorette season 19, are those their real voices? AND TWINS

 I really wish we could get the big 'experiments' with the Bachelor not the Bachelorette but I suspect ABC is not risking the flagship until they see if things work or fail with the 'spare' and thus we get 2 bachelorettes.

Finally getting to this show 2 weeks late thanks to travel. Moreover, just as I start the show I get a call from my partner so immediately paused; maybe the universe wants me to avoid this thing.

 Sigh Gabby's vocal fry sounded diminished at the start of this "season on" promo then came back super strong.

Jesse Palmer is back and so is the Bachelor Mansion and the colorful backlighting. I cannot tell if the orange lights are making Jesse look even more spray tanned than normal.

 We see some backstage of the ladies reacting to their Bachelorette announcements – I am too much of a cynic to think they really love each other as much as they are portraying.

"Get in the plane fly to LA" then show Rachel with a small prop plane, I know she did not fly that all the way from Florida. I hope these vocal inflections hurry up and beat my brain into submission or I might not be able to make it through this season.

A lot of B-roll of the men finding out that there are two bachelorettes and a lot of jump cuts around the country.

Back to the women discussing their 'types' the gist is "I aint got no type."

For a second I thought Gabby said "dead ass" but it was "I am sure someone is going to try and play our ass" I am super fatigued.

Interesting dress on Gabby here.

 "Your boyfriend is a loser everyone knows it, dump his ass and apply to be on the next season of the Bachelor" – then we act shocked at the type of peeps on these shows when this is the promo seeking applicants?

 Limo Entrances:

 Zach is first out and he is using a voice that sounds like a mix of nervousness and a put on.

 Jason an investment banker from Santa Monica makes a Clayton reference I fear he will not be the last, he jokes that he is in love with 3 women, his mom, sis and dog.

 Aven a sales Exec is a Black man from San Diego, so during filming our population was down 10%.

 Jordan brings out noise canceling headphones, he places them on Gabby first and tells Rachel that he lives close to her so she would not have to move far (guess he cannot move).

 Michael is in pharmaceutical sales from Long Beach.

Chris is a Mentality Coach from Redondo Beach.

 Mario is a personal trainer and he dances his way up…I will leave my racial implication thoughts out of here. 

 Ethan an ad exec comes out juggling "clearly I am not too good at juggling…2 women."

 Kirk is a college Football coach from Lubbock and he does a pep talk. He then gives one to the men on the couch.

 Logan a videographer from San Diego comes up holding 2 chicks (baby chickens since with this show you have to be clear) and his joke is "I had to get used to hanging out with 2 chicks."

 

Quincey a life coach from Miami Fl. "aka Prince" immediately curses as he gets out of the car then at the start of his info tells the women that he is "intentional" and then says because of that he has not had "sex in a year and almost a half" he is speaking to the wrong audience, this does not impress the women.

Hayden is a leisure exec from Tampa "I am Hayden and I know it sounds a lot like Clayton" but he promises he will be thinking with his big head not the little one. Gabby tells us she likes jokes "but this is our time" so the Clayton reference didn’t work.

 Ryan an investment director comes out with a clown wig and nose and pulls it off to say "hear me out I am NOT Clayton."

 Johnny a realtor goes with rhyming and Gabby and Rachel are just cringing.

 The next guy has a youth quartet sing a whole song about Clayton not being right for the ladies to introduce himself…Alec a wedding photographer comes out in an amazing crushed velvet jacket. Rachel "the choir was really cute and probably the only time we are okay with hearing Clayton's name tonight." Alec also calls it a choir, I do not know the minimum needed for a choir (I always thought it was in the teens) but I disagree with the term here. 

 James titled 'Meatball Enthusiast' brings out a 6 foot meatball sub for his nickname 'meatball.'

 

Justin B a physical trainer from Solana Beach who shows up bare foot.

Brandan a bartender also from North County SD shows up in a blueman suit esque outfit only to reveal that he is BLACK, this show found all the black men under the age of 40 in San Diego county?

 

Roby a magician gets the production joke of having his info chyron disappear. He decides to open with a card trick.

 

John an English teacher gets the names wrong

 What has now become standard - someone comes in on a non-conventional vehicle "you too look forking Gorgeous" this is how Tino a General contractor introduces himself as he hops off a forklift.

Rachel "I don't think anyone can top Tino's entrance"

so you know something is coming and in comes a man shirtless oiled up and riding a horse – Jacob a mortgage broker "I know this looks like the cover to a romantic novel, but I am only here for a happy ending." As he walks into to see the other guys "I didn't choose this life, this life chose me."

 Tyler a small business owner has a calm entrance.

 Colin a Sales director "are you familiar with this material (presents suit sleeve)? It is husband material."

 Twins Joey and Jonathan arrive together. 

 

Termayne 'Crypto Guy' walks up and just drops a mic into Gabby's hand "Mic drop?" "Yeah. That's right I did that." Super goofy.

 Spencer a grad student brings chairs for the ladies to get a moment off their feet "I have a mother and sister so I know how long nights can be" so if you didn't have women in your life you wouldn't have the empathy?

 Matt Shipping Executive from San Diego, uhmm this dude looks brown too?

 Nate an electrical engineer brings a pillow with each of the women's faces on each side.

 Jordan V. is a drag racer so he is "used to some wild rides."

 Erich a real estate analyst asks the women to tie his tie for him.

 All the men have arrived so Jesse comes over to be an exposition monster and ends with "get ready for the night of your lives."

 Cocktail Party:

 Roby walks up and offers to do some magic he has definite magician energy.

The twins seem even younger than their listed 24. The twins claim they are very different then proceed to list off a tonne of similarities.

The women are clearly NOT feeling these fellows. 

Ryan decides to teach Gabby how to talk like a Bostonian, but he gets her laughing and that works.

 Hayden has a birthday card for Rachel, making up for his Clayton reference (I guess...look at that card).

 Jacob to Gabby takes out a list of attributes he wants in a woman he self-describes this as "cringe" so at least he knows.

 The women are noticing that the men are hesitant to kiss, Rachel was excited by Aven inching closer "but there was no kiss."

Jordan V has his car for Rachel to inspect and she loves it, Jordan V says "I came here for you" Rachel gave him kiss me eyes and he instead went to "I don't know if you are familiar with horsepower" I felt bad for him because he missed that signal by a mile…bad reaction time there fellah. Also Rachel herself makes a Clayton reference "Clayton kissed me on night one."

 Mario wins his kiss from Gabby by downplaying toxic masculinity and talking a lot – it is the first kiss of the night, it was a bit awkward in the execution but Gabby was CLEARLY into it. Bit awkward is the nice way to say it.

 Tino asks Rachel if he can kiss her and he gets the permission with the music swelling and Rachel giggling.

 The ladies exchange some notes and both squee on their kissing notes. They also mock Clayton with a joking "I AM FALLING IN LOVE AND IT FEELS SO GOOD!"

 Jesse brings out the first impression rose(s) of death for the guys to stare at.

 Ethan expresses great nervousness to Gabby.

 Logan finally gets to remove the chicks from his hand to "talk to other chicks" I am guessing he is better looking in person based on Rachel's comments about him. Logan also appears to be the first man to talk with both women. Logan got both women to laugh and vibe with him, strong moves.

 Erich gets to wrap up with Gabby and she opens up to him and tells him about her hair extensions he asks for the kiss and is rewarded: I am learning that Gabby is a peck and repeat kisser. Erich then gets to hang with Rachel and they are both giggly Erich tells us he considered going in for a kiss but held off (smart, they would absolutely have discussed him).

 Rachel goes in to the group to grab the first impression rose and there were a tonne of hopeful men watching her but her rose goes to Tino – with some kisses.

 While Erich's VO is telling us how confident he is Gabby comes in to request Mario's presence as she picks up the first impression rose. Mario is a lot cockier in his ITM than he is with Gabby.

 As the women are talking to each other Jesse is summoning the men for the rose ceremony. The women are noting that they have not had time to talk to all of the men and that "there have never been so many…we can do anything we want" Jesse comes out and echoes that sentiment. In a clear producer driven move Jesse tells the women they can also just get rid of the men they do not see a future with.

 Rose Ceremony?:

 The women join the assembled men and apologize for not being able to talk to all of them, then ask for Roby and the twins to join them for a private chat. "The night is coming to a close" as Rachel and Gabby walk out to emerging sunshine. "We appreciate the chance to talk to you and…we have come to a decision that there might not be a connection there for us."

Returning to the waiting men Gabby and Rachel ask the men if they are willing to agree with them and cancel the rose ceremony…shockingly none of the men without roses disagree.

 Uhmm on the "to love" toast virtually ALL of the glasses are empty…that is what happens when you do multiple toasts but show the last ones.

 For the bloopers:

Blanco the horse relieves himself and the show blurs it out while Jesse shovels it.