Bachelorette Recap episode 3 - The women NEVER had the power

We return to the mansion with guys recapping while sitting in the sun or piling into the kitchen.

Cut to the Bachelorette house and the women are trying to figure out how "to figure out where everyone stands." Gabby thinks the guys have spent enough time with them and should know which of them they want to pick if they have not "that is somewhat sketch." Let us ignore the fact that multiple times we have been told that people have not had time to spend with the Bachelorettes.  

Zach gets a one on one with Rachel "I am pretty speechless" then a guy jokes "she is one for one for kicking people out."

 ONE ON ONE:

A limo picks Zack up and takes him to the SLS hotel to meet Rachel, I am starting to think they are uncertain of how to dress Rachel…maybe they just neeed to hit their stride.

Rachel "I have enlisted the help of someone really special today" it is Karamo from Queer Eye but come on let's stop pretending Rachel planned this.

Karamo then pretends that he is the one who got Zach and Rachel invited to a movie premiere.

Gabby – heads over to the house to hang with the remaining fellows while Rachel is on her date. Gabby is offended that many of the men are not fawning over her while she is at the home caring to throw the football with each other and complement each other vs putting the press on her.

There is a flaw with this experiment if a guy tries too hard with one woman is he harming himself with the other?

Back to the one on one and the couple are trying on clothes to wear to a premiere.

 "With great risk comes great reward" Gabby crying in an ITM that she is worried…cynic time…Gabby did not like the fact that she was not queen for the day when she visited the guys "I do not know if I have the capacity to keep breaking people's hearts"

 Uhmm an Ad for a movie called 'Easter Sunday' coming out in August?

 EVENING PORTION:

Rachel and Zach show up to a very empty step and repeat for the movie "Me & You" with zero fans or real press – this is explained once they step into a completely empty movie theater, it is not a proper/real premiere.

Instead Matt White (no way you know who that is) is on stage playing the piano as "Me & You" a clip show of Rachel and her family is played on the movie screen followed by some of Zach and a message from his mom. For the message from Rachel's mom someone should have warned her about that camera angle and the way she is moving her neck, she looked like an ostrich discovering a nature camera.

 Zach tells a story of going with his dad and watching planes take off because his dad loved flying so much, and Rachel says she used to do the same thing they both then claim they have never heard anyone else share a similar story.

 Zach gets the rose as Rachel gets emotional about Zach getting emotional about seeing his family on screen. Rachel appears to already be falling in love…yeesh.

 GABBY's DATE:

Erich's date card said "Three's a crowd" and in walks Gabby's Grandpa John, unpopular opinion but I was already over Grandpa John before he even made it to the reunion show of the prior season (maybe it was because I did not grow up with any grandparents in my life.)

The trio are taken for a cleansing and Gabby tells us she likes to have sound baths…I could have guessed.  As Gabby volunteers to be first to do an intention setting ceremony Erich appears to have a skeptical look. John doing the great thing about getting old, he does not have to pretend to care for the ceremony.

The trio next go off to a bowling alley and Gabby pretends that she wants to play bowling teams and just happens to find an older woman by herself willing to bowl with her grandpa.

 Evening portion –

They discuss parents over 'dinner.' Gabby says her mom wiped her hands clean of her once she moved out of the house, she says she will never know a mother's love and she needs to take a moment to walk away from the table and she goes and cries in a talk with a couple of producers "Am I too broken for anyone to love? Like what if Erich decides I am not for him."

This show did zero psychological assessment on whether this show would be good for these women. Erich is left sitting at the table looking confused while a producer pretends that he can truly take the place of a psychologist and talks to Gabby. Gabby is panicking that Rachel will get the guys…the previews tell us this is an unfounded fear, but she will not know that. 

I guess that sound bath and intentional ceremony was not that effective huh – Gabby is a funny mix of humble bragging, pain filled, emotionally broken and back to cocky/comfortable "I am lucky to be able to love that deeply." Erich's willingness to let Gabby unburden herself emotionally earns him kisses and a rose by the fireplace.

"I'm the imperfect bachelorette but in some people's eyes I might be perfect" I am not buying this, something feels off.

 Overused Trope time:

The bridal photoshoot that we must have if we have a Bachelorette season. The women are taking 'wedding' photos with Franco Lacosta who is dated very sedately for him, only his button down is splashy as the men run up.

As the men crowd around, the women rip off their wedding gowns to reveal simpler white dresses.

The men have to put on outfits that were allegedly picked out by Franco some of these outfits are concerning Jacob is given just a leaf, other men are given some skimpy outfits…why are we still doing this? Then do odd photoshoots like pretending to have a baby

Or working at a car wash

During his fake proposal photo shoot Nate really goes for it with a speech, oh I take it back re Franco's outfit I just say the radiant shoes. I am telling y'all, something just does not feel right about Nate. 

This show is intent on insulting their audience into applying to be on it "You are watching the show all alone tonight, we can help, apply to be on the Bachelor."

Evening Portion – They go to SoFi stadium, home of the LA Rams and Traitor Chargers.

Rachel leads Aven onto the field for a picnic. They make out with Aven interrupting the kisses to keep talking, Aven might be wearing a capri suit because I am not just seeing ankle I am seeing shins! You know back when I was telling women to stop dating men in capris I was told that I was being an alarmist YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW LADIES!

Rachel is on a kissing rampage and appears to be kissing every guy she has a moment with, good for her. As Rachel is wondering about how it is going with Gabby we cut to Tyler telling Gabby that he would prefer to spend his time with Rachel. Then we go to Grocery Store Joe lookalike Hayden and THIS DUDE tells Gabby he is "fully for Rachel" by saying to her "I think you have the bubbly aspect, the goofy aspect" BRO do you hear yourself? "You're a little bit more…I don't want to say rough around the edges" this dude needs a kick in the pants. Jacob next tells Gabby "even if you were the only one here I do not think I would have the heart to continue"

this feels like a producer set up to just run guy after guy after guy in to Gabby that they knew would tell her they are not here for her to break her some more.

 Date rose time and initially Gabby is not available, she shows up and looks like she is holding in tears. Aven gets Rachel's rose after she exclaims about how wonderful a night it was. When it is Gabby's turn "I feel like I cannot give a rose tonight" shocked silence and Rachel actively stares stunned at Gabby.

As they walk away Gabby fills Rachel in on what Jacob and fax Machine running out of Ink Grocery Store Joe copy said to her.

 COCKTAIL PARTY: or is it?

 The football coach is giving a pump up speech but his speech is ultimately redundant because Jesse comes in to cancel the cocktail party and to let the men know that the women no longer want to have a free for all.

After this rose ceremony if a man gets and accepts a rose from one of the women, he will be committed to that woman for the rest of the season.

 Rose Ceremony:

Aven, Zach and Erich are according to Aven "In the winner's circle" he and Zach for Rachel and Erich for Gabby so they are not lined up with the other men but off to separate sides.

 Rachel is feeling herself and telling us that she is concerned for Gabby because if someone rejects Gabby's rose tonight it could end in disaster…oh these producers!

 Roses,

Rachel		Gabby
Rachel offers her first to Timo		Gabby offers hers to Nate.
Logan next		Johnny
Termayne – Rachel loses a rose	Termayne "Look I don't want to be the guy that first declines the rose, but I am going to have to decline the rose, I think we would be great friends outside of this but I have to go with Gabby" – this brings in Jesse "you are declining Rachel's rose because you are waiting for Gabby" Termayne is put back in line but he is now at Gabby's mercy for picking. Because Termayne rejected the rose Rachel loses the ability to offer that rose…so now this is a competition for the women to lose at too?	Spencer
Alec – Rachel loses a rose	Alec does not want Rachel's rose and she loses another	Jason
Tyler		Mario
Ethan		Kirk
Jordan		Quincey
Meatball – Rachel loses a rose	"I am sorry I cannot, I am here for Gabby, I just have to go with my heart"   The girls walk out for a conference and Rachel voices "I just feel so bad and so rejected…[Gabby interjects "this is how I felt last night"] but it was private this was so embarrassing and public…this was about us talking back the power and we just handed it right back to them" YUP Rachel now fears that she "looks stupid to everyone who accepted my rose."	Michael (that is Gabby's final rose)
Final rose of the evening and it goes to Hayden	(way to show sisterhood Rachel, Gabby told you how he spoke to her last night but you for sure picked the guy you knew would not reject you)

I am genuinely surprised that some of the men did not look down at the number of roses remaining and not just take a rose from Rachel.

 Post Credit:

Meatball tells us that he immediately regrets not accepting the rose and takes a swing to try and get his rose back by telling Rachel he wants to give it a shot "what do you think?" and we end on the cliff hanger question.