Infrequently updated consistently funny

Friday, March 30, 2007

On 3 hours sleep everything makes u cranky

I knew I was running on fumes when an ad came on with the actress saying "I never thought I could get a credit card" and I screamed at the TV screen "That's because you are UGLY...damn!"

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Presidential jokes and how to hunt a cougar!

“Now on to the blouse: The cougar displays maximum cleavage possible to captivate her prey, if you’re watching them bounce, she is about to pounce.” Barney from HIMYM Link shows the cougar hunt and as a bonus he taps a law professor as hs prey. I love the cans of redbull, takes me back to law school, and no I did not tag a law professor.

I actually love when the president makes jokes…granted this one came at the expense of my profession but still a good one.

On the controversy over the Justice Department's firing of eight federal prosecutors, Bush said: "I have to admit we really blew the way we let those attorneys go. You know you've botched it when people sympathize with lawyers."

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

The Gap and Naughty documentaries.

You have to admire the Gap's determination to take as many classic songs as they can find and ruin them with crappy commericals.

Another thing to admire is HBO's ability to drop a line like this "HBO presents the HBO docmentary presentation of..." and then they drop some damn raunchy stuff like 'Cathouse' or 'Pimps up Hoes down'. Other channels should try this trick..."Fox news presents he Fox documentary films presentation of "Politicians screwing their interns" because after all if you call it a documentary you can show anything right?

The newest greatest search engine...

I could not stop laughing when I saw this. I had to do a few searches using it. While it is a legit search engine, I find it hard to trust any results that come via anything K-Fed related...I just feel like it is going to contain, Viruses!

Monday, March 26, 2007

1.30am temptation

I am sitting here trying to fight the urge to buy a home brewing kit for beer. Crazy thing is I do not even like beer that much, but having the kit just sounds like it would be awesome. I try to live by a rule of never making purchases after midnight, since something tells me in the morning I would view this purchase differently.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Does Carlos Mencia steal?

Now I believe in any talent/performance endeavour there is going to be some level of copying...cause there is "nothing new under the sun", but damn it looks like Carlos Mencia aka Ned Holness is outright stealing material. I am not the biggest Joe Rogan fan but I gotta love the way he called out Mencia on this.

You have to be crazy to steal from a legend like Bill Cosby, a million peeps will remember the bit and definitely 98% of comedians. Just does not seem wise...I loved this old Bill Cosby joke, he even has something similar in his book and you steal THIS ONE???? Cosby did his better!

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Just to add how much A/M and aggies SUCK!

Again not that I would have bet or anything.

So I read in the Sports Guy that TAMU aka the aggies have a Poultry Science division that one of their former athletes slammed as providing a 'joke education' but it is true those hay seeds really do have a bloody Poultry Science division. Here is their former athlete's diss of the education he received...he thought high school was tougher, I'm sure it was "YOU WERE AN AGGIE"

The best college recruiting ever

What are the chances of this coming back to haunt USC in the next year? I love that the kid has the balls to say: “O. J. doesn’t give out his cell,” he said. “He’ll call you.” I wonder if once he starts working for the coach he will still jealously guard his cell number.

I will give you this, the kid has sick skills, just not sure he is worth the potential damage he could do to a program.

Now if gambling on college games was legal I would be SERIOUSLY PISSED OFF WITH THE BLOODCLAUT AGGIES of Texas A & M right now, all you had to do was win the damn game, make a couple damn lay ups but no, you had to screw it up like the game was your first sheep girl-friend you bloody unreliable bastards. If I was in Austin I would probably slap the first Aggie I saw tonight.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

It does not seem right...

That there is a Nancy Drew movie without at least a cameo by the Hardy Boys. I will admit it as a kid I read Nancy Drew and even enjoyed a few.

Quote of the day

"Is it wrong to say that I want to do things to her that would probably be illegal even if she consented to them?"
It led to this response
", i don't care what you do to her"

Just a few more because she is just that hot

Salma at the movie premiere I think (really do not care because she is just that hot)

Working on a car...too many filthy jokes come to mind...

She shows off her acting assets

Some more of her assets

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

She is just so damn hot...

It is crazy how sometimes I forget just how hot Salma Hayek is. If you doubt me, peep Ugly Betty or see her in the movie 'After the Sunset' she spends most of the move in bikini's or crop tops etc.

And since I took heat from some of you for not posting pictures of Kelly Hu, here you go.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Walking while on sleeping pills...

Is definitely a disorienting process.


Thursday, March 08, 2007

Kelly Hu

Cot damn she is hot! And Jane Seymour is still getting it done and throw in Lori Loughlin and the not that well written "In case of Emergency" is bloody enjoyable to watch. There is something to be said about stocking your show with eye candy. It is definitely one of those shows that when intially watching I go "Why am I watching this?" and then one of the ladies appears on the screen and my brain goes silent and much of the blood in my body becomes sluggish...great show, check it out if you like to stare

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Why does Ann Coulter still have a public forum?

Have we not seen past her yet? If she is doing it all for show that is bad enough! If what she is saying truly reflects what she feels then that is worse.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

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About Me

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.