Infrequently updated consistently funny

Friday, December 30, 2005

Streets is getting hot and the youths them a get so cold...

Too lazy to blog so just cutting from an email I am sending to my bro

Sometimes I think someone in Jamaica is planning a war that I don’t know about. Because the amount of guns that are floating around and the amount of killing that is going on I have to feel peeps are practicing. They have decided to turn video games into reality in this country. If you own a PS2 and live in Jamaica it appears to me to be a waste of money to buy a 1st person shooting game when you could just grab a 45 put on some bling have a couple visible Benjamins hanging out a pocket and head down town and stand in the middle of Princess street and decide that you going to walk from there back to New Kingston, I guarantee you all the live action real time shooting you want. Don’t forget to liberally sprinkle in some “Go suck yuh mudda bwoy” and some “Eh batty boy/fassy holes” for effect. Also at certain points in the trip make sure and this is key; switch political allegiance be a Laborite on some streets and a Comrade on others that is guaranteed to bring in the one’s who don’t want to rob you but are willing to use a gun to show you the joys of voting…vote or die indeed!
     [After I left a party 4 houses down fr ours 3 shots rang out at a car, I had just opened the house door to get in, I missed it by 1/2 a minute]

5 days till TEXAS v F.U.S.C.
Quote of the day from my inner monologue “She used to be cute and now she is ugly, maybe my eyesight improved”

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Of lyme, toe sucking and Texas fight

It is so good to be back, I had forgotten the value of a good lyme. It was great to do the blogger link up and talk to peeps that were only online entities. I had missed just going to an open air bar and not having to worry if I going to be frozen solid in 10 minutes time.

     When I was a kid mom used to warn me not to leave chips etc out because they would get soggy, but I guess living here I never really noticed how dramatic the change wrought by the humidity was, plus we have lived so long in the ‘cultured’ air of Norbrook that things just naturally keep better. But, kicking it last night for a bit in the plains I was amazed at how rapidly Pringles and Cheetos changed from crunchy to just soft enough to be gummed.

     So the 6 million dollar man and I were at a birthday party for a bit last night and the disses were flying around in rare form, plus the action was that of an orgy w/o the actual group sex. It is strangely disturbing to watch a friend put on the full Daddy Mack mode in front of you: The “want me to suck your toes” line crossed the line brethren. Hey, I do not judge how u get yo freak on is yo bizniss but the rest of us do not need to hear about it, especially not at a birthday party.

     Speaking of toe sucking; I need a freak. Apparently everyone else has one, judging from the various convos I heard last night at diff places…seems like they are a dime a dozen, even my ex has one: May she R.I.P.

     I am so nervous about next week’s game it hurts. What makes it worse is that my bro is talking smack to me which is his right: After your team wins 2 titles in a row, you have earned a certain right to belittle your little bro’s team. How much is a speeding ticket in Jamaica now? Cause I have to go out of town during the day and I have already warned the parental unit that we are setting land speed records on the way back in. 6 Mill you waan come fi di flex? My mom looks on the rivalry between my bro and I re our teams as “CUTE” CUTE? While I grant you it’s not a blood feud like I would have had, should he have gone to say Tx, A &M and less than the “I wish he would die” that it would be if he had gone to OU it is still more than just cute. Last year I didn’t speak to him for almost a month after they won, I can’t imagine how bad it will be this year. Though it TEXAS wins I will understand if y’all want to strangle me by day 2.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005


At what point do you admit that your life has gone downhill? Is it after plans go out the window or when dreams are dashed? Is it just when you don’t get what you want or when what you want to get is impossible to obtain?

Monday, December 26, 2005

They’ll miss me when I am dead!

As my dad re-iterated yesterday, we do not fear death (conviction that we will abide with the Lord upon passing from this plain). It does not mean that I am ready to die now, but I do not fear death. I guess I do however fear the consequences of death. Such as the grief it causes those around, the mess that it can leave behind e.g. the estates, the squabbles, and the possible pain that might come if it were an unpleasant death; like say you were with your wife and your kids are home but y’all decided to take a chance and sneak into the shower for an escapade, then she slips on a bar of soap while your intimately engaged and by doing so she slips to the left pulling you forward and driving your head into the shower head with such force that you bleed out, but because she slipped she is now stuck with a broken leg and a dead husband on top of her and no choice but to call to the kids for help…
Anyway to the title of the post: I sometimes have a rather morbid tilt in my way of thinking. This is probably the last extended vacation I can spend in my home country, and I have been well received (the last thing it has been is relaxing but such are the trials of coming down during a major Christian vacation time – the next couple weeks will chill it out I hope) for the most part. Thing is sometimes I look around and realize that some of the peeps I have come to see, do not care to see me as much as I cared to see them or thought I cared because upon touching down and receiving the cold shoulder…I realized that the romanticized version of our friendship I had was just that…a version. My core friends are just that the CORE we are tight, we stick together and we remain true. But many of the outlying friendships, I realize are not what I remembered. One of my friends I had not seen for 6 years, and judging from the emails we had exchanged one would have assumed that our next meeting would be the “Hey how are you doing give me a hug type” while in reality our meeting was the stilted “hey…” “uhmm nice to see you again”
I think my priorities in friendship are wrong…or maybe I have become too Jaded again: I tend to break my back reaching out to peeps and when a simple response is not returned it tends to make one harden just another piece of their heart. For instance, my idea is always that if someone comes to visit, you do as much as possible with that person for the short time they are here to the exclusion of the normal riff raff that you get to hang out with everyday because the visitor is the one whose time is precious. For instance when the Princess of the ATX visited (Merry Belated Xmas Z) I took time from the Slave mill and we kicked it and I turned down dinner invites, and it was awesome because I got to kick it with a friend. But, I have noticed that in the cases of Shotta and myself we are getting better responses from peeps we barely know and our core friends, but the out lying groups almost seem like they are trying to keep our drinks chill via their shoulders.
     If it sounds selfish – it is.
Then again it’s prolly all our faults for reaching outside the comforting cocoon that is the ‘Brook.

My brief synopsis of ‘Smirnoff Experience’ since Shotta told me he already blogged about it: Who knew the human body could hold that much alcohol…we need ‘all you can drink’ in SD.

(In arguing with a Lesbian, is it an effective comeback to say: “Choke on a Dick and Die!”?)

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

What is the Life?

I love the life I live right now; I am on the verandah right now staring across the Kingston harbor and the weather is currently 78 we are kicking it in shorts sandals and jerseys. Visibility is about 20 miles the city lights are on and there are no shots in the air. This is the LIFE.  

The Jamaican

This is the longest I have gone without writing a blog in a very long time (nothing like a wireless network – thanks Shotta). So I have returned to the land of my birth the country that someday one of my colleagues will one day rule (I have no doubt of that…I went to a high school that culls from the crème de la crème and went to UWI albeit for a minute when movers and shakers) and I love being back. I have truly come to dislike Christmas, not what it means but the trappings that invariably come with it. Despite my protests I was forced

(FORCED I tell you: I know I have a strong personality and it can wear on my friends and annoy my enemies but damn I am as a lamb to the slaughter when up against my mom…a basic part of the exchange Cali-J; Mom I tell you I am not putting up lights this year
Mom; Just put the lights up now so you won’t have to put them up tomorrow
Cali-J; C’mon mom I don’t want to put lights up this year
Mom; Boy hurry up and put the lights up, on this tree and some on that tree oh and definitely that tree over there
Cali-J; Yes mom (grumble, grumble grumble)

…to put lights on trees outside. Despite telling the parental unit that I refused to put lights up over 1700 lights later I realized that appearances must be kept up. One of my friends once told me that they knew my house because it was the house in Norbrook with all the Christmas lights. In years past (thanks Shotta) we have put up upwards of 5000 xmas lights on various trees around the house. Our damn yard would be so lit up that u didn’t need an address to find my house, thankfully this year I was able to beg off having to do more than a few trees with the excuse that the other trees have grown too large and will not effectively display the lights (oh and that JPS has gone crazy with the electricity bills that peeps are getting).

Anyway I wish all a Merry Christmas (despite my rant) and a prosperous New Year especially the Texas Longhorns. Nutty P lookout our bet is still on and so far I am holding up my part of the bargain. To all the girls I loved before…die slow ok I am kidding Merry Xmas to you too

You really did ruin my life…

My High school reunion is in 8 days; should be fun to see who shows, how they show and who still hates whom.

What the hell is my cable company thinking providing me ESPN deportes instead of regular ESPN; granted my knowledge of Euro Futbol has increased exponentially (did you know PSV rules Dutch football?) but I have not seen an NBA highlight in 6 days.

Wow my Chargers beat the Colts! AMAZING good ole’ SD ruining the perfect season for everyone!

To the Jamaican bloggers and any others nearby lets link – Shotta and I would love to meet y’all

Thursday, December 15, 2005

A Picture Share!

Clearly the movie did not affect me as much as i thought. In airport starving. In the island tomorrow. Open invite to anyone who wants to stay in jamaica

Just walk that you can!

You know, I am all for getting back on the horse when you fall of it…but when you skydive and the chute doesn’t deploy well and the backup provides little to no protection AND you fall face first, I think it is a sign from GOD…SKY DIVING IS NOT FOR YOU! Check out the fact that they found out after that she is pregnant, just an amazing story all around.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Stop super sizing

Damn, of the 15 fattest cities in the nation, Texas has 5 including the #1 city Houston. I know I am a year late in watching ‘Super Size Me’ but damn this movie is rather informative…though at the same time much of this is nothing new, yet it is good to see the reminder and I know many others have no clue what is going on in it. It is a good film to watch if you have not seen it. As I am typing this the director’s girl is talking about their sex life…lose weight, work out it is good for you.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Finals finally done...for me!

You know it's a good night when there are more peeps sleeping on the couch and floor than in beds.

Monday, December 12, 2005

MPRE scores are out!

Check at your own peril.

Amendment: If you had your admission ticket sent to a yahoo email account, the information was probably sent to your bulk mail folder.

Sunday, December 11, 2005


Damn the chic in the cubicle behind me smells nice, a combination of fruit scents. Mmm good!

Pampered 1Ls

Why the Rass are 1Ls getting out before 2 and 3Ls. That just seems like asking for trouble! We all know that the 1Ls are going to be drinking their asses off in the parking lot and there will always be those one or 2 dozen kids that forget to lower their voices when the exams are over. Why is it not like my first year where 1Ls were forced to go till the last day of finals?
     Have 3Ls not paid their dues to this school…evidence at 8.30am on a Friday morning and now exams till the end of the week, man that sucks for y’all!


Richard Pryor

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Heisman Result

Another Bush has won a close vote!

Going back to the hood (ok not exactly)...

Straight outta Norbrook, a young brother who aint a crook! Hmm doesn’t have the same ring as Ice Cube screaming “straight outta Compton, crazy mother fu@*er named Ice Cube” So what If I lived in the hilly suburbs of Jamaica, I can’t wait to get home, I am tired of cooking every  meal for myself and spending tons on sushi, plus I need to detox. Who knows maybe as I stop over in the nation’s capital I will get a chance to see snow for the first time in my life.

Heisman presentation in 40 mins come on Vince Young!

That Dominos pizza ad with the kids living in the dark and getting ‘lamp time’ is High-larious!


I would like to thank Duke for reminding us just why they have been the top team in college basketball for 2 decades. But, damn did you have to do it at the expense of my team…oh well as I said to MS basketball does not matter to us until Football is over. See you in the tourney!

California code section 22...blah, blah blah!

Damn it…it is 3.30am I am making no headway in my studying (no surprise there) and I can’t sleep (wow ‘nother shocker). I have a neck so stiff it hurts to look to the right…would be bloody easy (easier than normal) to kick my ass right now, just stay right and jab. Only thing making this night go well is the fact that I just linked with a friend from the old days in the ATX (I love the internet’s ability to help us connect).

I can’t wait for sushi this afternoon, spicy tuna and some cali rolls with enough Wasabi to make a brother two-step. Yes! That’s the way to start any day of studying, and hopefully during that time the Horns will be kicking the Dukies ass!

Screw all the damn international airlines for reducing the weight of checked in bags from 70lbs to 50lbs. Dicks that’s an almost 30% reduction you assholes.
Mi rassclaut shoes each feel like they weigh five pounds…to the peeps I promised product that is measured in weight, your xmas gifts may get left at the airport in Jamaica when I try to return.

Sugar we’re going down!

My condolences


Friday, December 09, 2005

Just a few blurbs to break up your studying routine!

In one week the Cali-J will be in Jamaica…can a Jamaican take his own country?

Vince Young (leads the nation in passing efficiency with a 168.6 rating ) won the Maxwell award as the nation’s top player, Reggie Bush has won the Walter Camp award setting up Saturday's Heisman showdown.

Saturday will be a match up of the top 2 teams in College Basketball, #1 Duke v #2 Texas. 1.30pm on CBS…Texas has never been #1 in college b-ball is this the week?

FINALS SUCK I know I know everyone says it, but damn it I mean it!

Did I mention one week? Current temp in Kingston, Jamaica at 5am local time the temp is 79 degrees an expected high today of 85!!!! Shotta wi a hit di beach early and often.

Currently 57 degrees in San Diego, with a high of 69 degrees not bad if you have to be stuck here!

I’m dreaming of Rum and Coconut water…and good friends…if peeps have requests for things from the island (and I actually know you) let me know I will gladly try to bring things back up for you.

Re the above: marijuana is NOT legal in Jamaica and I will not be bringing any back for everyone…I mean things like coffee (best in the world) etc.

The Stanley Williams thing shouldn’t be a debate.

Can there be a freakier way to die than a plane sliding off a runway to hit your car? That’s just rough. Good thing I love flying.

Man, Christmas is rough on the budget plus I never have a clue what to get folks.

Easy on the Christmas carols damn it, it’s still weeks away.

And it’s Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays no need for the uproar y’all both can be used.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Blow it out yo Ass!

So next semester when I do the blog that recommends classes etc, maybe I should include a section for the amount of lube required to go through each particular class’ final. Cot damn that was a reaming!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

That time of the School year

Free hugs to all who don't even need to ask, if you come up to me and put your arms around me I will figure out the intent! GOOD LUCK ON FINALS ALL.

Happy Birthday...

Johanna...give 'em hell on that Corp final!

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Monday, December 05, 2005

Rambling post...finals have me aggitated damn it!

Well talk about an action packed day…finally figured out when the Cali-J would be returning home. I leave Cal on Thursday and get into Jamaica on Friday and from that point on the Hedonism kicks off. Why am I so determined to enjoy it all to the fullest? Well in a 4 hour span, I have pissed of one friend to the point where she won’t talk to me, another called to inquire if I/we were still friends, an ex doesn’t trust or believe my motives and finally I lost a friend completely. Not my choice, I do not believe in betraying friends or in ditching them, as mean and sarcastic as I am I know that words are just words and for me to cut someone off as a friend they would have to do something egregious.

To let you in on how forgiving I am of friends, this particular ex-friend (and once again I told you it’s not my decision if it were up to me we would still be friends) and I sort of dated while I was in law school [yeh I know, I keep my stuff quiet and no one knows who I date etc and no she is not a law student] any way this particular young lady engages in sexual congress with a friend of mine and had the audacity to call me during said activity. Needless to say I was PISSED, but whatever I let that slide, and we remained friends. Then there of course came the usual back and forth because let’s be honest I am not the easiest friend to have, not meaning to get peeps mad I can with ease. Anyway back to the chica, so on her terms we stopped talking for a couple of months because she needed time away from me (perfectly understandable because I am hard to take [wanted to put swallow here but seemed like bad context])

Then once I had perfectly adjusted to the new state of my life, school, work chill, drink with the crew, I got a late night call…and had an incident similar to the type that occurred almost a year ago, I am too lazy to go find it and link it but long time readers will remember my driving to some chics home only to have her new bf who I knew nothing about accost me on the steps for ‘a talk’ so anyway my response on the phone (no I didn’t go over – and no SA I did the right thing by not going) was hey it’s cool to hear from you but you can’t expect me to just show up at your beck and call. But at least we are back to talking.

My birthday rolled around and being the dope that I am, and the spread joy type I invited her to come out to the club (great night by the way – if you weren’t there that’s your fault). After all she had always told me how important birthdays were to her and how they are something that must always be celebrated etc. Hmm, I guess I must have misunderstood that, because not only was my invitation rejected, I was ignored for the entire month and informed later that she was too busy hooking up with some dude, because being around me was not good for her so it was best that I get punked in order for her to move on.

Cot damn even then we remained friends though by this point, one would have to say it’s a loose term then of course there was tonight (I have bypassed stuff like her telling her friends I am a dick [true] and her friends consoling her with the [“He ain’t any good crap”] funny I didn’t know we were dating anymore! And her having a friend call me late one night to deliver a message, that she should have delivered herself) while I should be studying I had to get the “We should not be friends” crappy line and then the projected and I will cut it from my text message so I do not post the wrong thing “…you think I am lacking in character. Why would you even want to associate with that” That was in response to my saying what was done re my birthday was messed up, and now I have to think maybe she is right, why should I want to associate with that? Maybe cause I am a sucker for friends.

YES SADLY IF SHE WANTS I WILL STILL TAKE HER BACK AS A FRIEND. Because in my mind, it’s the ability to forgive that often makes peeps the best of friends…this quality doesn’t work for other relationships so don’t try this with me if u r my gf or wife.

If you need a study break

Somewhat funny Azn Karaoke video. Pay attn 2 da girl on da rt. Credit to Kendra for somehow finding this vid.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Great music video!

Damn the Korn video for Twisted Transistor is damn funny: using Snoop, Lil John, David Banner and Xzibit as the band members in a video shoot is genius.

The Defending Rose Bowl Champs ARE BACK!

So of course I had to use a picture of burnt orange roses after all half the peeps in the stands at Reliant stadium were waving burnt orange roses. Now I aint saying USC is not #1, but the Longhorns are coming, coming. If you are betting on the game, make sure to bet the over because this year’s Rose Bowl might set records. MGM currently has USC as 6 ½ favorites over UT, that sounds about right, they are the defending champs and #1 in the nation. Vegas has been pretty damn good with the lines this year: They are in it to make money after all.

So let’s see the games ended 70-3 UT over CO and 66-19 USC over UCLA…so we know they can both score and their D’s stepped up when necessary. I do love pointing out though that the difference in our game is more than USC scored in theirs, but yeah they did play a ranked squad and we didn’t. January 4th will be a great day, wherever you are find a TV set…even you Sand Assassin.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Well it’s that time of the year...

  • I begin to wonder just when I will fly to the island of my birth

  • Career services gets worked in motions (A new addition this year but will prolly happen again)

  • Notes start getting traded at a feverish pitch

  • And my body fails me: Last night I slept for 8 STRAIGHT hours…for those who don’t know me that might not seem that impressive, but those who know will be shocked. This is the first time in over a year that I have been able to sleep for 8 hours straight…even on sleeping pills I usually wake up at 2-3 hour intervals, which I am sure would be hell on a sleeping partner if I had one…(allow me a moment to lament the sorry state of my life, 1,2,3…damn) I should be with you, why girl why? Oh wait I digress, plus none of you will know who that is for etc or if it’s for you, hell I don’t even know who it is for…I need to steady the ship that is my life. So I fell asleep and slept almost comatose for 8 hours I didn’t even dream which for me is unusual cause damn I have freaky dreams every night (not freaky like – I am having sex with one girl and then her sister jumps in to join us and jiggle body parts and right at the moment of the roller coaster cresting the hill her mom jumps in with the video camera crew to surprise the daughter that she made it on ‘pimp my ride’ and I roll over and make the mistake of saying to the sisters “Damn your mom is fine” but it all works out because it’s a dream so the mom joins us and MTV keeps filming because my stroke is so good that I look like a porn star in the video and it makes me famous because at the crucial moment just before climax I grab hold of the mom and 2 daughters (it’s a dream you can hold multiple peeps with 2 hands) and scream “Come on, feel it, feel it” and ‘Good Vibrations’ plays out as we all lay back in the cut with satisfied looks on our faces – not freaky like that) about cars and stuff. I slept well because my new pharmaceutical of choice promotes wakefulness in the day time so I was active for so long almost 40 hours that my body finally said “It’s time to sleep”

  • The library begins to become packed

  • The smells in the LRC begin to intensify, seriously peeps just cause you are studying is no excuse to abandon personal hygiene

  • I stop working out and let the beer belly completely win for a couple weeks

  • X…becomes scary to approach in person

  • The muscles on my back begin to tighten because of exam stress (oh and believe me there are muscles there, it just looks like there are none)


  • GO HORNS GO! I am sorry for Colorado tomorrow…

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Your diploma!

Time is closing fast on the deadline to submit your name (the way you want it) for a diploma for the upcoming graduations.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Damn it girls winter is coming and I need to study COVER UP!

Damn the girls in the LRC are looking fine today. I am beginning to wonder if it’s because I want to do anything but write my paper that makes the young ladies look like such delectable nectar and I a starving honey bee (and yes I am a Zoologist so I know that only female bees go looking for nectar, just deal with the analogy damn it – though it’s kind of cool that the males’ jobs are solely to mate with the queen [except for that whole part about dying rather after mating and those that don’t mate eventually get driven out to perish outside the hive but other than those minor details…great life]) can only stare.

Shout out to Da Sand Assassin, great job in class today, shocked the hell out of us all.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

The school is looking rather festive, because of course the Christmas season is already here. It seems as if every year Xmas comes even earlier and every year I become more and more jaded about it. Here in San Diego Christmas lights for some of my neighbors have been up since the 2nd week of November, way too early. Xmas is now so much more about competition; to get customers; to have the best lights; to have the most decorations; to be the first station to play Xmas carols; to buy presents b4 everyone else; to be the first to forget that it is supposed to be the season that we remember the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ.

I think because I get so mad at what I see, I myself often lose sight of the season because I try to shut out all the crap that seems to come with it. Of course since I am the world’s greatest procrastinator, I now have a massive paper due on a dark topic (Sexual Abuse and repressed memories) and I have to walk through all this cheery stuff to go get it done. Oh well I guess that is what caffeine was created for (and yes I know it’s a naturally occurring substance) by the good people at Diet Cola grand national corporation of the Americas.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

A Picture Share!

No officer I did not have anything to drink. But my passengers whew... Thats what you are smelling, not me. Walk this line? Uh can I pass?

Thursday, November 24, 2005

9am est The massacre begins!


Everyone makes them so here is mine!

Things I am thankful for
This is by no means an extensive list just the ones I can think of right now

  • I am thankful that I am so stuffed that typing this is a slow process

  • I am thankful that despite being sick to start this week I basically have my health

  • I am thankful that the Fam back home is safe despite the escalating violence (with 40 days left in the year Jamaica has gotten to 1476 murders)

  • I am thankful that I realized that I can just put… and y’all will realize that I mean I am thankful

  • …that Becky’s family took me in this year

  • that football is always on

  • that no matter how broke I might be right now I am still not starving

  • that I discovered Texas before A & M

  • that I didn’t end up going to school on the East Coast

  • that no matter how dumb I might act, my friends still care

  • no matter how dumb they are I love them

  • family means more than just a title

  • I have managed to avoid being shot despite running my mouth off a ton

  • I have managed to enjoy law school

  • The majority of my friends passed the Bar

  • We finally “Beat the hell out of OU”

  • That the tradition  continues Texas v A & M Thanksgiving holiday weekend

  • Alcohol + copious amounts of drugs (prescription) has not yet = death

  • Despite that above mix my friends still care enough to check up on me when I say I am sick

  • that her dad didn’t find out

  • that no one knows who that one is about

  • though I may forget names I do not forget faces

  • I no longer live with my parents

  • They still care enough to try and ground me

  • That I am old enough to realize that I cannot be grounded (though sometimes I forget for a second and panic)

  • Lanelle drove me up so I didn’t have to drive to The Valley

  • Lotion was invented cause damn The Valley is dry: A brother gets ashy in a second up here

  • Those who hate me really can’t affect my life

  • I have not become so cold that peeps hating me does not affect me

  • I have managed to surround myself with good people

  • I care enough about my peeps that I have nicknamed almost everyone

  • Small sampling of names: Sand Assassin; the Devil /Robin; the roomie; of the; Silent Assassin; Becks; Tiff (ok so some aren’t names but contractions but damn it I am lazy); May she R.I.P.; Marky Marc; Semi adopted; Nutty P; Cali-J (yeh I name myself heck the blog is named after me – and I talk to myself); Dat Bitch; Dui, Q; Jo; Ahab

  • My little cousin trusts me enough to confide in me about boys and alcohol

  • I have matured enough to listen and not lecture when she tells me about boys and alcohol (“Damn it chica I tell you boys have cooties especially college age boys”)

  • Motions allows me to write for them

  • Mom

  • Dad

  • Courtney

  • Alicia

  • LOVE Y’all and I am out this piece!


One and all! And yeh I know it's 4.33am, but dang it I can't sleep!

Reason # 238 Why I love Cali

Getting to chill at the club with James Toney. How often do peeps get to do that? And how often do you get to get into a fight in the club and have the Heavyweight champ of the world (IBF) have your back?

CONGRATULATIONS BECKY, RACHEL, MIKE and all the rest on passing the California bar and congrats CINDY on taking out the Texas bar!

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Love the accent...

I love the fact that the automated system for Air Jamaica has that lovely Jamaican accent, when I am put on hold.

Teachers need to realize that it is just cruel to hold a class on the Wed. evening b4 Thanksgiving.

Monday, November 21, 2005

I am the stone that the builder refuses

Well this sucks! I am sick: Sore muscles, red eyes, congestion the works. I also have an invitation to enjoy Thanksgiving with a great friend. But, if I do not get better I will not be attending that dinner, because it is not cool to visit a home with illness. Here is hoping that it is just a lack of sleep, low resistance thing and that getting 6 hours or more tonight will help it.

As to our convos…phone and IM this has been a rough weekend for me. The fact that more than one person can think that, that line is about them makes me realize just how dumped on I felt this weekend and past day.

Tonight is the HEX RALLY

See why we burn the red candle. There is no more beautiful sight than thousands of red candles simultaneously burning the hopes of A & M down to NOTHING. WE'RE TEXAS. Fresno St scored 42 on USC at USC...hmm looks like there really is No D in the Pac 10.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

How much is too much to pay?

This is what TRUE TEXAS football passion is about...I love the part about the full refund should TEXAS fail to make it!

Get those wins...

Go CAL. Let us be honest though, even though your game against Stanford is known as ‘The Game’ no one outside the state of California (and many within) cares about this game. Go OSU!

Friday, November 18, 2005

I rarely deal in absolutes...

But there are just some things that I know are forbidden no matter how good they might feel; no ifs, ands or cute butts.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

I declare the war has begun...

Shotta get yuh gun and tell Chase fi saddle up too. If mi mek it to yard for xmas, both of you might haffi get shot! Link mi pon di cellie and mi will gi yuh details.

“…So nobodda pose tuff if you don't have it, Rastafari stands alone!
…Welcome to Jamrock. Out in the streets, they call it murder!”
--Welcome to Jamrock by Damien Marley

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Amazing the deals one can find online for Air Travel to my homeland

Departure City: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Destination City: Jamaica - Montego Bay
pkg. air Departure Date Dec 12 Pkg. Price $79.00 + tax

Cot damn this is sick...

If you are injured and can make it back home: DO SO. This one is not for the faint of heart: Ants eat away patients...

Fees shorty Fees

Who are these kids trying to charge me '25 cents to connect'?

Few randoms...

Gail Kim looks hotter every time I see her.

Boondocks 2nd episode was so damn funny I nearly choked on my KFC

Are you really allowed to give yourself the nickname “The Alpha Male”?

One of the best ever articles on steroid use in baseball and the cover up that came with it.

Good fun for a good cause and it leads right into Bar Review, please come out and support both…
Thursday, November 17, 2005 – Pakistan Earthquake Fundraiser
7:00pm – 10:00pm, The Local
Live Band: Trade Roots (Reggae and Rock Band)
$5 cover and $3 drinks specials
All Students and Faculty are invited

Bar Review at VISIONS
555 Market St corner of 6th and Market

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

What it do...

Who drinks this stuff?

Because the Sand Assassin likes it I will post it.

Actually I wouldn't mind tasting this stuff...

A few more fun pics...

Thanks to Q for giving me permission to use some of her pics. More to come later

Dreams that make me sweat...

So I rarely stress, I tend to get nervous about things but I rarely stress: I do sometimes however, have intense moments of stress. I guess not stressing a lot means that the flash moments burn really hot. So last night (if you do not know the Cali-J is an insomniac) I went to bed fairly early for me about 3am after lying in bed from about 2am and once asleep all I kept dreaming about was my Mock trial for later today. Nothing unusual there I always dream b4 a big event, it tends to calm me down during the event because I tend to run through the event in my sleep so often during the event I get a sense of deja-vu and the event itself does not feel so bad. Makes me wonder if I am actually getting restful sleep or if I am just in a groggy state of restfulness since I don’t know how it is that I am able to control my dreams…
     So last night I was dreaming about the trial and then low and behold I leapt out of bed because in the middle of my trial I realized that my closing was completely wrong. I wondered why in the middle of my closing argument the judge and the jury all kept giving me funny looks (and no it wasn’t like old school dreams where you are stared at because you are naked) I realized that because my opponents have changed a key witness on their side from male to female the main gist of the closing that I gave especially the words “and she ran into the arms of another man rather than her husband” or “her husband was hurt because she was cheating on him with MR…” just does not work that well anymore.
     So damn it I woke up at 4am and was not able to go back to bed till 7am which just left me 50 mins to sleep since my class started at 8.30am. Now I also have to revamp my closing argument the thing that was supposed to have been written weeks ago and that we practiced in class I have this bad feeling that I am going to accuse the Defendant of having this illicit affair and just get stared at?
     I feel sand bagged and bamboozled their defendant that is supposed to be 5’10 and strong is now 5’2’ and small and their male witness who possibly had an affair with the defendant is now female. To make matters worse the victim that we are using to help prosecute is 6’2” and muscular no one in the court room is going to believe that he was attacked by this 5’2” woman. DAMN IT! This is why I do not like being prepared for anything. I had another dream last night too, but not sure if that is fit for air play.

Saturday, November 12, 2005


Just stepping all over the competition. "Face down ass up, that's the way I like it" --Barbershop The Series.

Friday, November 11, 2005

We're going streaking!

How is it that without a single drink in my body I made a bet that if Texas loses I would streak the entire Corporations class? Come on you bloody Jayhawks roll over like the Punks you are and lose big to UT because I cannot be streaking a law school class at this stage in my career!

Thursday, November 10, 2005

What I am listening and thinking on today

I had this bad bitch uptown, she was whoa!Had me fucked up in the head I mean whoa!Bought this bitch diamonds and perils, I mean whoa!Should’ve seen them shits shinning on her wrist, whoa!...

Must I pound the concrete like whoa!Till this bitch ass has defeat like whoa!Ya man ain’t whoa!The judge ain’t whoa!
          --Whoa by Black Rob

Of cookies, bribes, drinks and designated drivers!

The Cali-J is looking for a designated driver for this week’s Bar Review. The car must have space for 2 . My driver must also be discreet! I am willing to bribe, shall we say multiple drinks as the first bargaining chip? How about I also throw in the fresh chocolate chips that I will be making later today? That I think is fair and should sweeten the pot enough. Yes I know I said I am seeking a DD, and yes I know I said I would bribe the DD with drinks. I do not believe that a DD must avoid alcohol the entire night that is good for the Halloween party since you get to enter for free but not good for me; so all I ask of my DD is that you sober up by the time I need to get home.

Back to part of the bribe I AM BAKING COOKIES. And not that crap u get straight from a freezer and toss in the microwave, I will be in the kitchen messing with flour and mixing chips in. Weh dem seh? Fresh cookies! All are welcome to enjoy some; those who know where my crib is can just roll through after 4 because I have to go to the gym first. Can’t enjoy the guilty pleasure without the hustle.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

How do you spell, a chance to see hotties...

L.I.T. Promotions Presents
A pacific Beach

Bar Review
1261 Garnet ave
thursday nov 10th
“Is ya man on the floor? If he ain’t… let me know!”

Unbelievable drink specials
$2 any beer
$2 any drink
$6 any pitcher

No cover
l.i.t. cares: please do not drive drunk
A Cali-Jamaican endorsed event…jot that down!

Why confess?

If confession is so good for the soul, why do I feel sick afterwards?

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Check this out...

Glad to see that my boy I Wayne is getting some pub outside of Jamaica. Go check out his artist page and then click on video to watch the video of his hit "Can't satisfy her". If you can not understand it because of the accent and the dialect, I will explain it all to you.

Just remember "She need more wood fi di fire"

How do I put this? If there is a chance then I want that dance!

Late registration help...

Ok because I am a lazy bastard and because I forgot to even care about the upcoming registration I forgot to create a registration advice blog etc so I just went into my blog archives and pulled up the one from last semester. If you see anything that should be changed etc just make a comment, to this new post.

Finally went through my halloween pics.

My camera was splashed with alcohol and received a hard hit when my friend punched it, instead of me, but yet still a few pictures survived and I will post pictures throughout the day while I am in class.

Monday, November 07, 2005

The Burger King and Bar Review

I love the NFL Promos using the Burger King: But that footage that they use for the Dallas game is bloody old. How do I know? Because they have a black QB throwing a TD for Dallas! That hasn’t happened in at least 2 years if not longer.

Check out this special worked out for bar review: $6 any pitcher; $2 any drink; $2 any beer this Thursday at
Tropicoso(858) 270-51001261 Garnet AveSan Diego, CA 92109

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Why I love cable and friends...

The Texas v Baylor game is on TV tomorrow morning (actually later today), I initally thought that I would have to wake up at 8.30am to make it to the bar in time for the game. But, setting the DVR to record the morning games I found that FSN will actually be televising the game, so now I can just set the recorder, avoid the usual internet update sites, turn my phone off so none of my asshole friends can send me game updates to spoil the game for me (I love y'all but that is just cruel - as well as calling b4 noon on a Friday, Saturday or Sunday, and b4 11am other weekdays)and just watch the game as if it were live. GO HORNS GO! Could this be the dream Saturday? Could ND lose to Tenn, USC choke in AZ, and the Hokies finally get exposed by Miami? 2 out of 3 would be great!

Are peeps who encourage you to drink tonnes of shots really your friends? Are 12 mini shots really the right amount of alcohol to suddenly end a game of chess on? These thoughts I ponder as another fine night comes to an end.

By the way if you have not yet tried it, I highly recommend Shot-glass chess. Will explain it to anyone that needs it.

Friday, November 04, 2005


Do not Play Tekken 5 with friends: It only leads to hurt feelings!

Thursday, November 03, 2005


“Sometimes when you think your heart is cut too deep
That is the best lesson for you to keep” – Aaron D.

Video of the Bobby Brown and Mike Tyson duet! Just click on the pic of Tyson and Bobby (Aka James Brown/Vampire costume)

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Best thing saved...

On my DVR I currently have Bobby Brown and Mike Tyson performing "Monster Mash" on 'Jimmy Kimmel Live'. Normally that show is terrible but that was the highlight of that show's unexplicably long run. Tyson's singing and grimaces are HIGH-larious.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Happy Birthday...

To the Princess of The ATX, Zandra.

Nuff said...

"Shorty I'm there for you anytime you need me
For real girl, it's me in your world, believe me
Nuttin make a man feel better than a woman
Queen with a crown that be down for whatever
There are few things that's forever, my lady
We can make war or make babies
Back when I was nothin
You made a brother feel like he was somethin
That's why I'm with you to this day boo no frontin
Even when the skies were gray
You would rub me on my back and say "Baby it'll be okay"
Now that's real to a brother like me baby
Never ever give my cootie away and keep it tight aight
And I'ma walk these dogs so we can live
In a fat ass crib with thousands of kids
Word life you don't need a ring to be my wife
Just be there for me and I'ma make sure we
Be livin in the effin lap of luxury
I'm realizing that you didn't have to funk wit me
But you did, now I'm going all out kid
And I got mad love to give, you my nigga"
--Method Man

Just expressing...(I know, I know, shameful to use someone else's words.)

What was I thinking...

...when I agreed to go jogging on the beach at 7am? Is the sun bloody up at 7am? I mean damn I keep my room so dark and locked up I don't usually know if the sun is up till at least 10am. Anyone who has dated me for any length of time knows that the last thing I am is a morning person; some would say I am not an afternoon person either. This is what happens though when you absolutely need to lose weight. You start to do things that seem impossible. Yes, yes I know some of y'all are up at 5am every morning and believe it's great to see the sun come up and that the morning is beautiful blah, blah, blah, take that ray of freaking sunshine and...And to those who have to go to work every morning etc. I feel sympathetic (quit now; start a revolution we should all start work at 10am and just leave later in the evening). This summer while working the worst thing for me was making it to work, once there I was golden, getting there was a chore.

Introducing the newest contestant on the SCOTUS reality show

And the newest contestant for the Supreme Court will be Samuel A. Alito Jr. In this corner the Conservatives, in the other corner the Liberals and in the audience the American public. Will he get voted in, or will he just decide that the circus is too crazy for him and quit the house? I believe that he will just sit through his confirmation hearing, decline to answer questions, endure the scathing remarks by democrats, the softball questions from republicans and be confirmed along party lines. So I vote that he makes it in.

Saturday, October 29, 2005


I made it to the damn barbri lecture: I spent the whole night drinking and then came to a Saturday morning class?? Thank GOD for Wireless internet! Half this class looks like warmed over death, another ¼ like death served cold and another ¼ is just too damn chipper for a Saturday morning. I took a shower last night and a shower this morning and I still smell like alcohol.

Things that currently appear impossible...

...Making it to the MPRE class that starts in under 5.5 hours. Ah the joys of being a law least I had fun tonight, and had the opportunity to play a part in one of the worst fights ever (note I was not one of the main combatants just someone there to break it up).

Friday, October 28, 2005!

"The Bible does not say that money is the root of all evil; it says "the LOVE of money is the root of all evil" (I Tim.6:10)." --My Dad! (and a million other preachers)

"It’s funny how money change a situation
Miscommunication leads to complication" --Lost Ones by Lauren Hill

So much drama so little Time --Cali-J.

Tonight should be off the Chain, you know it's a bad costume when you can not even describe it to your parents.

Oh damn, I have realized that I am so addicted to DVR that I am trying to fast forward live TV. Commercials just annoy me now. I am now so used to being able to skip to the parts that I want to see that sometimes I pause a show to walk away so that when I get back I can cut out the bad parts. Tivo also makes crappy shows so much better because now I can fast forward through all the bad parts, you know like Diddy trying to be philosophical.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

My USD peeps!

Download examsoft ASAP if you haven't gotten it yet!

Costume I couldn't stomach to wear!


MY FRIEND WANTED ME TO WEAR THIS COSTUME!!! I could not do it though, I am linking to the picture rather than posting it because I think it is that bad a costume.

There is no Justice in politics!

“You’re so deep in the closet that you are finding presents” –Family Guy (Thanks Tivo)

How can you not like politics? In one month there have been so many interesting developments and backdoor deals culminating with Harriet Miers stepping down and possibly tomorrow part of the inner sanctum getting indicted.

By the way I don’t want anyone ever again to try to push that falsity that the court is separate from political pressure and influence. Yes once on the court the judges are away from influence but to get on you have to nowadays be leaning heavily left or right, middle of the road prospects do not make it on the court. Do peeps even care if the person making it on the court is the best candidate or the best candidate that agrees with them?

"Ketch Fraid" re Halloween Costume

So we say this back home when we are explaining why we are suddenly afraid to do something or we are avoiding doing something. So re my costume I have become afraid of wearing it, in essence I am chickening out. I lost much steam after realizing that going as a Katrina Victim would be a horrible idea! Of course the way I have waffled on this costume, by Friday it may be back on.

Cooling rate for a dead body is 1.5 degrees an hour. Just throwing that out there…

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Halloween donations can help Katrina relief!

So if I may, I have a suggestion re your Halloween costumes. Many of us will have toys accompanying our costumes, or we will be purchasing clothes specifically for the party and never intend to wear/use them again. Please donate them to the Katrina relief effort in the writs. NOT JUNK just stuff that is good but you will not need again, and the toys will be welcomed by kids who are now without. Oh and I still have tickets for anyone who might want to go, it’s a great event and now you have something to do with your left over clothes!

Monday, October 24, 2005


Rosa Parks died today at the age of 92!

TEXAS is the number ONE team in the nation!

Well sort of! TEXAS has leaped USC in the latest BCS. All is right with the world. Now before peeps start freaking out and claiming bias etc this was done by the computer polls. I have consistently said that TEXAS has being playing like the #1 team but cannot be voted number one because that spot belongs to USC. However if you look at how both teams have played TEXAS is the better team right now. Funny that the poll that agrees with that is the poll that cannot watch the games. But based on just the quality of opponents TEXAS has had the bigger wins and tougher games. USC opponents have had a combined schedule of 22 wins and 28 losses while TEXAS’ opponents have gone 31 and 18.

Funny my bro the USC alum will not answer my calls today.

Who the hell is voting Virginia Tech #1? No one can tell me that VA tech is better than both TEXAS and USC that’s ludicrous.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Halloween Tickets!

I have them and I am supposed to sell them, so please my loyal readers come and get them. I promise to hand a free beer at the party to anyone who buys a ticket from me.

You will love my Halloween costume…or report me!

So like many people I hate Halloween because of the costume search: And like many people I love Halloween because I love to see the costumes. So let me admit that when it comes to creative things like costuming I have no imagination whatsoever, it’s the same reason why I cannot do watercolors of flower arrangements (ok maybe not the same reason – I do like women [Is that too non-PC?] {In case anyone was confused by my lack of candor I am basically saying that I am not gay!} [Amazing that we equate beauty, sensitivity and creativeness with a man being gay – see the irony?]) (Man I have a bad habit of having parenthetical info that is longer than my regular text- back to the story)
So I really, really lack imagination. I see other peeps make/imagine costumes and I think to myself, “Man I hope you choke from the fumes of the makeup and face paint that u so artfully drew on your face to make you into Osama Bin Ladin.” Yes I am that bitter a person when I see other peeps. So I went costume shopping with the Sand Assassin aka Pierre and not 2 seconds into our trip SA finds an outfit. Sadly as he reached up to grab the garments I immediately knew what he was going to be. That is how my imagination works, I need a kick start and then everything immediately comes together. So of course now I am even more frustrated because the person I was counting on to help me on my ‘what the hell to get for a costume journey’ has already completed their part of the trip and my car is still stuck in the garage.

Before I go on let me lay some groundwork: I am not a fan of pre made costumes for myself. I like them for others but I prefer to try and create (see above re how effective that is). So I started bouncing ideas off of friends trying to see if some of the ideas I had for costumes were ok. My first costume ideas were abandoned quickly because of cost: Prince, Lil John etc. Then I thought I had a brainstorm which turned out to be a brain fart: I thought why not go as a Katrina victim/looter. You know a wet shirt cut off shorts a 6 pack of heiny, some plywood, a stereo and a flashlight. However, the shock that accompanied that idea every time I mentioned it, plus my own conscience kicking in, caused me to abandon the idea as just a little too tasteless an idea.

However, my final choice was not greeted that much better by the young ladies that I mentioned it to in the store. Actually that is putting it mildly the pair had 2 of the most visceral reactions to something that I have seen, since white people found out that OJ was going to go free. One girl gave me the look of horror and sadness and tried to hastily distance herself from me, kind of like all the peeps that used to hype Milli Vanilli and her partner looked at me and had a look that made me think she was about to cry. Put it this way it was such a bad reaction that SA and I walked out of the costume store immediately. Of course the minute we stepped out of that dingy store (by the way can costume stores look any more like dungeons?) I turned to SA and said “I have to get that costume” SA being the worst person that you can turn to for advice on decency agreed and immediately started adding ideas to make the costume even worse.

Now I know by now if you read through all of this you would want to know what the costume is, and honestly so would I, but like many people I believe that a Halloween costume based on the “Shock and Awe” aspect has to be kept a secret. However, I coined a phrase and my costume has been rated GTO Guaranteed To Offend. Of course that is assuming that by the time Friday rolls around my conscience has not once again reared its ugly head. I had an attack of guilt today but SA and my bro told me that it was ok and that only the overly sensitive will be offended so here’s hoping!

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Quick impressions from tonight:

  • Cal-Western has some hot and fun chics!

  • USD has hot and cool chics!

  • Drinking is the best way to get to know some of my classmates

  • Drinking is the only way to get to know some of my classmates

  • Dudes that hate you will say anything to chics they like to discredit you.

  • Telling a chic that “You must have great coochie to keep him coming back” while fun to say is not the most polite thing to say

  • Tom Delay’s pic is so damn funny that it’s ok to talk about it at a bar.

  • Lesbians are fun to hit on (Yes she was definitely a lesbian: not a “She wont talk to me so she must be a lesbian” lesbian)

  • When you need to get to a restroom IMMEDIATELY no one drives fast enough on the highway in-front of you.

  • Seeing a cops car suddenly pull in-front of you has the magical ability to remove pee from your bladder.

  • I don’t know where it goes but it wasn’t on the seat and I no longer felt like I needed to pee.

  • Buying a round of shots in San Diego is as painful as getting a shot in the stomach from a stranger both leave you gasping for air and wondering why you suddenly feel so empty.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

The competition is over!

I know there is still plenty of time left in the year but I am already declaring that Tom Delay has won this year's award for coolest mug-shot. Look at him he is smiling and posed in the shot, the pic is actually better than his official picture as a Member of the House.

There have definitely been funnier shots like this James Brown (see below) gem from a couple years ago when it became apparent that the Godfather of Soul forgot how to use a hot comb...but none cool as ice like Delay in recent memory. Honestly it almost looks like a glamor shot.

Food for days...

1 and a ½ pound chicken chopped in small cubes
1 pound pork chopped in small cubes
4 Chinese sausages chopped in small cubes
5 eggs
3 cups rice
5 large carrots
Freshly chopped Green onions, ginger and garlic
Various seasonings: You know what that gives you? Some rather heavyweight fried rice. I may have been Azn in a past life because I found myself roaming the supermarket at 3am after the gym last night in search of rice so that I could make sure that I cooked the rice far enough in advance to let it rest before frying. Thanks to Minh for turning me onto the joy of cooking Fried rice. Sorry chica I refuse to add salt like you do. At the start of the cooking process I had so much meat in the pot that I was uncertain how I was going to get the rice in, but then I remembered that meat always shrinks while cooking and I also have a huge black wok. Say this to yourself 5 times fast: “The Cali-j has a huge black wok”

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Only a formality I know...

But still shocking that an arrest warrant has been issued for Tom Delay.

Funny lines and late night TV

Oh man so I tivoed (is that an allowable verb?) In living Color and watching it now I just realized this episode has Jim Carrey doing his Vanilla Ice Impression, it is so damn funny that this episode may have to remain saved for a long time…anyone visiting the house or the near vicinity of the crib is welcome to stop by and have a laugh this is a better parody than SNL ever did.

"Hey baby you are my muffin and if you were a turkey I would give you my stuffing. "

Damn the fly girls were hot! There is this Azn fly girl on screen right now, whoa!

“She can’t see you she is blind” “You mean like republican blind to the problems of the inner city or actually blind?”

Dana Kang: You put super glue in my eye!
David Kang: I thought it was eye drops.
Dana Kang: You fucking blinded me!
David Kang: You should have said something after the first eye... you could still see half the world, bitch!
---Barber Shop the series.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Ah Costco...

To rass! So I took a trip to Costco round about 2pm today thinking that at this time of the day that behemoth that is the source of pleasure to all who shop on a budget and require 600 rolls of toilet paper at a time would be empty. Imagine my shock to see a packed parking lot and a packed store. Does no one in SD work? Anyway I love Costco; I have to say it there is nowhere more fun when it comes to bargain shopping.

Of course Costco in many respects is the devil. I am walking through the store and see a great price on an item and have to force myself not to make the purchase because lets be honest what the hell do I need with 400 dryer sheets? I thought for a moment about picking it up because I figured what the heck I want my clothes to be soft too. Then logic hits me, I currently don’t use dryer sheets and it only takes one sheet per load, when in the next 5 years am I going to do 400 loads of laundry?

But now 10 packets of pizza that I need! After all what is better than loading the freezer to the point where u have to throw out ice cubes because space is needed.

Of course the free samples that Costco gives out also help my shopping experience, it’s like shopping at Brookstone you want to try everything even the things you know you can’t afford or need. So I find myself watching the sharks (it’s the term I have for peeps who just hover around the sample trays) I think it’s ok to wait for a sample that is coming hot off the grill or out the microwave but it cracks me up when peeps get vicious in their pursuit of samples, I saw a guy today basically shove someone out of the way to get at a sample. Come on now it’s free food and it’s a never ending supply no need to act like it’s a prison break. I mean why act like law students around free alcohol at Costco, act like you got some dignity.

And of course no Costco trip is complete without consuming a $1.50 hotdog and soda complete with enough condiments that the hotdog now looks like a fully loaded salad. That’s just how I roll!

Wow women hate each other...shocking!

So I woke up this morning with a big bruise on my arm. Now does anyone know how much effort and pressure it takes to leave a distinctive and pronounced bruise on someone as dark as I am? I would love to say you should see the other guy/person but truth be told I might be embarrassed by how the other person looks. Today in class we are going over what girls don’t like about guys and guys about girls. We are also covering what girls don’t like about each other and guys don’t like about each other: Not surprisingly the guys’ list re what we don’t like about each other is only 9 things long, the edited girls list re what they don’t like about each other is 23 items long. The best list though has to be things that each gender hates about the other; the girls’ list includes things like “ignore life for sports” and the guys’ list comes back with “always interrupting when sports are on”

Sunday, October 16, 2005

When to tell someone you are a virgin...

Funny TV moment: Guy and girl making out, guy looking to take it a bit further…
Girl: “Is this a bad time for me to tell you that I am a virgin”
Guy: “Yes”
Girl: “Ok, when would it have been a good time?”
Guy: Oh I don’t know, maybe before you ordered the lobster!”
---Hot Properties.

So at bar review last night I saw this chic cold clock her man. They were arguing and all of a sudden she hauled off and punched him full in the face. I thought that dude was going to spit teeth the way she made his head snap back. Kind of a shocking moment to see a girl hit a guy that viciously and dead on accurately. Cot Damn the party tonight at the Marriott was bumping; sorry Tiff looks like we went on the wrong night the night before. Will blog more about the Marriott incident later, right now I gotta go off and marinate the jerk pork (no it’s not a dirty line, just some of the best food ever).

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Happy Birthday

Tiffany, Jen R and Jen B. 3 hot girls share one great day, almost seems like overkill.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Vikings cruises sound like fun!

So the Vikings just proved that they can’t even score off the field. NFL players paying for sex, hmm where have I heard that before oh right, Cowboys, Knicks, and every team that ever had an athlete visit the Gold Club. Now there is outrage that some of the Vikings apparently took an orgy cruise on Lake Minnetonka. SO? I know I know, it was so bad that the crew brought the ship back early because of lewd behavior, but really is this something that should surprise you. Is this really something that warrants people getting offended? I am not saying encourage the behavior, but no need to go nuts about it, and make it the story on multiple news channels. It hasn’t even been confirmed yet that there were actual orgies if you believe the words of Mwelde Moore "That's crazy. Sex? Come on," not exactly the most impartial witness I know but oh well. Thing is I am tired of peeps pretending that athletes are role models, that ship has sailed. And even if athletes are to some extent role models, what a bunch of consenting adults do on a cruise on a lake would not affect the youth of America if peeps weren’t focusing on it and putting it on the nightly news broadcasts.

So a couple of players got blown on a ship, let’s not blow it out of proportion. (sorry I couldn’t resist)

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Why no Replay?

So I saw the end of the Angels-White Sox game and was shocked at the way it ended. I am still amazed at sports that do not use Instant Replay. Why when there is the option to use instant replay do major sports not use it? The game should not have ended, that much is clear from the tv replays. The umpire made the wrong call, yet the main fault is not his, its Bud Selig’s and all those who refuse to be dragged into the 21st century. Replay would not add that much time to games that are already way too long. Heck it might even speed games up since there would be less hesitation on the part of umpires and less need for the overly dramatic screaming in the face antics of Managers.

Too lazy to blog right now

So tide over with this, as per a request...

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Of live sex shows and exploring...

Sorry for the lack of blogs the Cali-J went Cali exploring…fun state great peeps; thanks to Becky for the lodging.

Live sex shows are now permissible in Oregon! You gotta love this state, if the doctors aren’t playing with their patient’s, their strip clubs have 4 feet away ordinances and now you can watch or put on live sex shows. The ruling has opened up some questions as to which sex shows are permissible and which are not? Bill O’Reilly last night made mention of some woman performing in public and of 2 adults engaging in oral sex in front of children (problem is O’Reilly is a terrible source for news)

What to do when you meet someone that knows about your ex-gf from a former life? Act like you don't care!

My newest toy!

I have just received the greatest TV invention since the VCR. I finally today obtained a Tivo/DVR/Replay TV or whatever your company chooses to call it. Thanks Princess Bex: I hung out with her and her family this weekend and after seeing how much it changes TV viewing I knew I had to get one. It’s just so ridiculously good.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

A Picture Share!

Tailgaiting with cal cheerleaders and band. Now that TEXAS has the monkey off its back: GO BEARS!

A Picture Share!


Friday, October 07, 2005


The 100th meeting: It's coming! How sweet it will be to win the 100th meeting!

Thursday, October 06, 2005

2 cents re the Cruise Holmes baby affair

So thanks to Tiff I had to throw up a mini blog re this event. So there is much speculation about the Tom/Katie baby and deservedly so. After all his history does not bode well for those thinking that he finally produced a kid: before you say but Cruise has kids (in the words of Lee Corso) not so fast my friend both kids he had with Nicole Kidman are both adopted. He had no children with first wife Mimi Rogers -- though she has since given birth to two children with her present husband. If you believed that the engagement was a sham then it’s easier to believe that the pregnancy is faked. But, do peeps really do that? I can imagine Tom tapping it just to show the world and prove that he is a virile man, but faking an impregnation, artificially inseminating someone because you didn’t want to have sex with her that is just too much for me to believe.
Tiff also reminded me of the fact that Katie had sworn that she was a virgin and would remain that way until marriage. I also remember rumors about Mimi Rogers basically claiming in Playboy that Tom wanted to be a monk and wasn’t that interested in sex.

Damn Doctors! Is this you Dr. D.

What the hell is going on in the North West? Is it really a sue-able offense if the patient was that dumb? She was after all a 47 year old woman! Sorry let me lay ground work: a woman is now suing her doctor because he told her that having sex with him would cure her lower back pain. You gotta think that when the doc said it and saw that it actually worked as a line he couldn’t help himself. But, yeah his ass should definitely have gone to jail for what he did.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Our Westlaw Rep!

Forgot to mention this last month when I found out, but I just saw the ad and it triggered my memory. Our school's Westlaw rep is in the new E-Harmony Ad with her new Husband!

If she is 4 feet away is it still a lapdance?

Wow they have gone crazy in Seattle. (Ok so I am no fan of strip clubs: I tend to think of them as a waste of money and nothing more than a tease. Why pay a woman $20 bills for her to tease you unmercifully and then walk away.) That is just my pet peeve back to the blog subject: Seattle strip clubs have officially become the worst strip clubs in America. Dancers must be 4 feet away from customers? A customer cannot stuff money into a G-String? You have to use a tip jar to pay the stripper? The lighting must be parking garage bright? No private rooms (how will they do the champagne room sex – wait “no sex in the champagne room”)? What in the blue blazes is this? Anyone who has ever set foot in a strip club knows that the last thing you want to be able to do is clearly see everyone that is near you or around you. And I hate to say this, but many of the women who strip cannot afford harsh light being shone on them, nor can the guys who go to ogle at them. I think this is a case of peeps imposing their morality on other peeps and taking it too far. To be honest they might as well have banned the strip clubs entirely (oh wait they couldn’t do that so they back-doored it).

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Is it a good choice? Time will tell

Hmm so Bush nominated a woman for the Supreme Court! At first I was happy because I do want a woman to replace SD O’Connor, then I thought I don’t want someone appointed just to replace a gap. Like if Clarence died today I wouldn’t want to see him replaced with a black guy just because Clarence was black, I would like to see another black guy on the court but not if it means sacrificing credentials just to make a PC move. So now Harriet Miers has been pegged for the spot and I think it’s a rather bold move: It’s a female who has never been a judge before and who appears to be mildly conservative (which has already begun to irk staunch conservatives): Some in the know (sorry for such a vague term) are saying that Bush picked her to avoid the political fight that would have ensued from picking a stronger conservative.

Kind of crazy though how Bush punked Alberto R. Gonzales: A few weeks ago when asked about who he was considering to replace O’Connor Bush laughingly said: "The list is wide open, which should create some good speculation here in Washington. And make sure you notice when I said that, I looked right at Al Gonzales, who can really create speculation."  That’s kind of cold to do that to the man and basically let him know he is a punch line.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Not much to say

I had thought about all the funny things I wanted to say about this image, mainly because I wanted to rag on Sean Penn for basically trying to make a tragedy into a photo-op. Bear in mind that he took a personal photographer with him on a "mission of mercy" but I have used up all my creative juices writing an article for the school newspaper. So I leave you with this...when operating a boat meant to rescue peeps find out how to use it first and carry more than a cop to bail it out idiot! I have had this pic for weeks and never got around to posting it so eh here it is.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

New contact lenses!

Wow technology is just amazing...check out these new contact lenses!

Saturday, October 01, 2005


Do it you salty dogs....F.U.S.C. up!

Damn the West Coast TV!

So after planning to lie in bed and watch a Texas victory, imagine my shock turning on ABC and seeing cartoons. So now of course I have to go to the bar and share some beers with my fellow longhorns at 9am!

Bad Pussy will make you itch…

And your eyes will water: So I met my friend’s new cat today and after leaving the house had a massive allergy attack to the point where I was driving by prying my eyelids open.
This post is rated A for Adult:

So it sucks when you drop your female friend home knowing that she is only going home for a booty call. I know I know some of y’all would say be happy for her but I call you hippies. I am not that touch feely feel good type. At first I was cool about it but the more I think about it, the more it hurts me.

This post is rated A for allergy:

Cot damn I haven’t had an allergy attack this bad since I had to be carted to the hospital via an ambulance in the ATX and hooked up to an IV and told that I needed to contact next of kin. I looked like a crack head at the pharmacy I was itching so much I couldn’t stop scratching. The poor chic at the register was trying to talk to me and all I could manage to do was crack open the loratadine tablets and chug the can of Diet Rockstar to try and stop the itching and pain.

This post is rated A for amazingly bad advice:

Yes Pierre you are getting called out for telling me that it’s ok to take 2 pills every 4 hours. Thank God I fished the instructions out of the garbage like a hobo looking for food and read ONE bloodclaut tablet every 24 hours. Thanks for trying to kill your driver off.

This post is rated A for alcohol:

It has been my friend, it has been my lover, and it has been my counselor. I trust it more than I trust most peeps that I know. It also goes great with medication. It also brings out the worst side of some peeps I know, see the above “booty call” paragraph: Not her getting the booty call, but the argument we had on the drive home (My apology for my part of it – but it takes 2 to argue)

This post is rated A for Section A:

Fun kicking it w/ y’all: Who needs a reputation, keep doing what y’all are doing, I love it and I love seeing y’all out.

This post is rated for Awww Ahhhhh:

How the hell are you going to fake moan at the bar? Hmm guess that means that everything you do is fake? Oh wait, guys would have to care for that to matter right?

This post is rated A for Amazing:

Ok so on this one I am going to play psychic: I have already set my alarm to wake me up early so that I can watch Texas beat Mizzou. So because I expect this to happen: “DAMN what an awesome game, we really kicked Missouri’s ass!? Of course if the skies fall and the heavens open up and some how UT loses I will delete this paragraph and pretend it was never posted

Finally, this post is rated A for ASU:

Damn it! Beat the hell out of USC!

Friday, September 30, 2005

Mini horror story.

No not Shaq acting in Kazaam. To those who work, this wont seem that bad, but to law students like myself this is a terrible thing. I woke up early today (scary by itself) to work with hurricane Katrina evacuees (I am making a conscious effort not to say victims) however after getting all dressed up and expecting to feel good about myself the clinic was called off and now I am up early on a Friday wondering what the hell to do with myself! Could be worse though I could be stuck in evidence right now! Shout out to Sandra!

No way, no Wayans?

So the showbiz show w/ David Spade pointed something out tonight: With the cancellation of My Wife and Kids and the fact that In living Color doesn’t hit syndication till next week, for the first time in years America is Wayans free for a little while.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

The reason everyone laughs at Texas A and M!

Thanks Lyoness for the pic.

Time to nap?

I guess it’s officially time to take a nap when you start misspelling words as simple as conclusion. I have been at the law school since 8pm I think it's time my home sees me.

The new definition of Paranoia...

The irrational fear that everything you have written for your take home final will suddenly disappear from your computer screen, despite repeatedly pressing the save button every 5 minutes. Signs of paranoia: irrationally emailing yourself copies of the paper via attachments and cut and pastes into the body of an email; not trusting one email service to be a safe depository and thus having to email to 3 accounts every half hour a fresh copy of the paper even if the only new addition is a single word. Further signs of paranoia: recognizing that your actions are crazy but still logging into a backup computer so that you can IM a copy of your paper to the back up computer; cackling every time the file transfer goes through; wondering how it is that the 3 pages of notes that you took for the entire semester still somehow manage to be more than the notes of 2 of your classmates combined are they just more efficient than you are or do they care less?

Monday, September 26, 2005

Synopsis of the weekend

This has it cut but if you looks closely enough you can see Robin laughing at me on the left!

Quick blurbs

Shotta thanks for the love…I need to book a ticket to Jamaica wi a guh run di place dis year! Last free xmas fi bruk wild backa yard. Weh dem seh? “Fashion ova style”

This man is probably the world’s worst shot. Why would you shoot people just because you got fired?

Lets not forget to continue to give to the Katrina relief effort!

Just read that CBS’ made for TV movie “Martha Behind Bars” was a big bust last night. Really? Who would have thought that a movie about an over privileged woman whom most of the population cannot relate to and whom became richer while not doing hard time in prison would be a bust? After all Cybill Shepard was the lead that alone should have guaranteed at least 10 or 20 viewers.

Seems like one of the more dangerous jobs in sports currently is to be the starting QB for Memphis: That school is having the worst luck…losing 2 starting QBs to broken legs. That is rough on any program but it’s rougher on the kids: I always feel bad for college kids when they get injured no matter what program they are from (even OU).

Bar review!

A rival bar review: What's up with that? I thought everyone knew that if they wanted to throw a bar review just ask and I will gladly give that week away.


Texas has had the 3# scoring team since 2000. If you account for the fact that Boise state plays crappy competition, then the only team that scores more than us is The U (aka Miami University).

A few TV moments

Martha Stewart rapping with Diddy was probably one of the worst moments in the history of television.

So I watched the season premiere of both Desperate H and Grey’s Anatomy: I wasn’t that impressed with DH, it did not appear as witty as last year’s episodes; I did like GA and found it shocking that a new member of the cast looks exactly like a tall 1L young lady that now attends our school. The resemblance was so striking that I actually for a moment thought that I was looking at my school mate on television. Always good to realize that you go to a school with such strikingly beautiful girls that they could be on TV (yes Kathryn I threw that part in for you) - I do think the girls at our school are beautiful even when they are looking their most haggard. Let’s keep it real we could have been stuck going to school in the mid-west but we all lucked out and got Southern California.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Here come those Desperate HOs!

Tonight it’s the return of those “Desperate Housewives” it should be an interesting night. Not ashamed to say that I watch the show, after all I have noticed quite a few peeps who claim that they would never watch a show like that spouting knowledge about the characters etc. A good show is a good show no matter what it’s billed as and no matter what its core audience is (by the way its audience is not as skewed as peeps might think – 45 percent of viewers are male)! Guess I should probably watch Grey’s Anatomy too!

Saturday, September 24, 2005


Finally the actual big day has arrived. SO far I have been chilling and watching a great Saturday of college football. Sorry to all those who called and I have not yet returned your calls, but in my defense: Come on you called before noon on a Saturday. To all my friends not in the immediate Cali area please remember that I am on the West Coast 3 hours behind the East 2 behind Central, if my phone was not off I would have received calls at 7AM...definitely not the way to start my birthday. Gotta throw a college football jab: The big 10 (11) is the most over-rated conference this year.

Happy birthday to sleeping pills tonight it aint safe!

Much props and mad love to all the peeps that wished me Happy Birthday: Thanks for all the well wishes, phone calls, hugs kisses, drinks etc. --a portion of this post has been edited on the advice of counsel-- (something about admitting to bad behavior on the web etc) Thanks JT for the call. Thanks R for the drinks. Thanks God for the tolerance. Blessed!

Thursday, September 22, 2005

"Bush don't like black people" REMIX!

Props to Shotta for letting me know about this. So most peeps know about the Kanye West “Bush doesn’t care about black people comment”: Well here is a ridiculously funny video remixing the song “Gold-digger” with Kanye’s comment and using video footage of Bush and hurricane devastation:
I beg all the overly preach types to just watch the video with an open mind before bashing me or it etc…who am I kidding say whatever you damn feel.

I know it's wrong, but have a quick laugh...

Thanks Ash for the picture. Click on the photo to enlarge it.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

My Birthday Bar Review!

L.I.T. Promotions and the birthday boy Present
Bar Review
420 E St
Friday Sept 23rd
(Come celebrate Aaron’s birthday)
From 9.30pm till they kick you out

“Go, go, go shorty it’s your birthday. We gonna party like it’s your birthday, and you know we don’t give a…cause it’s your birthday”
$3 Domestics
$5 House martini Drinks
Cover: $5 w/ USD ID
T. J. and C.W. Law schools will be there also

September is the month for babies; so you are sure to know a birthday kid at the event…
Red Circle's boasts a multicolored wall of more than 100 varieties of vodka -- from 18 countries.

A Cali-Jamaican birthday event…jot that down!

Quick blurbs ...ugly girls etc

Is Wednesday special nudie bar night in SD? Driving by the ‘World famous’ Body Shop tonight the line of cars to get into that place at 9.30pm was ridiculous!!!! Is there something I don’t know about that place? I thought nudie bars in SD were supposed to suck.

Since when do bath poufs cost the same price as gold? I had to purchase a new one because the current one is a bit tattered and the ridiculous price they are charging made me pause. I mean come on its just some plastic or nylon crap attached to a bit of rope!

There are some ugly chics in the library tonight…serves me right for being in the library tonight! This place is severely depressing.

Seriously there are some UGLY chics in the LRC 2nite there is no way that, the girl I am currently looking at goes to school here, I would have noticed her by now. (Yes, yes before I get called out, I know this is not the nicest thing to say but I am in the LRC depressed and I am sure that beauty is only skin deep etc but how deep do I have to look?)

In 2 days I will have completed a ¼ century of life on this planet and I have loved it.

2 years ago I had never ever, ever, ever tried Sushi, now I have sushi cravings. Strange how once you taste somethings you just can’t get enough of them. (insert lewd remark here etc…)

Is it just me or as the price of gas rises the pumps pump slower?

Target is a special place: Anywhere that allows you to buy everything for the house in one spot and still somehow manage to pretend that it's higher class than Wal-Mart is a special place.

K back to reading I have procrastinated long enough.

Fav Chappele quotes (warning explicit language)

Again I warn you this post will have foul language
My roomies copy of Chappelle season 2 is back in the house and of course I immediately lost 2 hours of my life to watching a show that I have seen so many times. Of course no blog about favorite Chappelle quotes can start without…Real Rick James: Cocaine is a helluva drug.
Of course I am way too lazy to type these quotes out so I copied them you can click on the links to see more quotes I just copied some of the ones that I love.

Businessman: I'll have a Samuel Jackson. Samuel Jackson: [shouts] Good motherfucking choice, motherfucker! Samuel Jackson! Made painstakingly by me, Samuel L. Jackson! It'll get ya drunk! You'll be fucking fat girls in no time! You might even fight a nigga or two! Mmmm-mmm, bitch! [Jackson walks up to the businessman] Samuel Jackson: [shouts] How's it taste, motherfucker? Businessman: Could you please stop yelling at me? Samuel Jackson: [shouts] No, I can't stop yelling, 'cause that's how I talk! Haven't you seen my movies? "Juice" That was a good one! "Deep Blue Sea" They ate me! A motherfucking shark ate me! Drink up, bitch!

Yes, they deserve to die! And I hope they burn in hell!

Wayne Brady: [introducing his prostitutes] Hoes, Dave. Dave, hoes. Dave Chappelle: Good evening, bitches.

Wayne Brady: I make Bryant Gumbel look like Malcolm X, huh motherfucker? Dave Chappelle: That was MOONEY!

Audience Member: Negrodamus, why is President Bush convinced there are weapons of mass destruction in Iraq? Negrodamus: Because he has the receipt.

[on "Making the Band"] Dylan: I mean, who are da five greatest rappers of all time? [counting on his fingers] Dylan: Dylan... Dylan... Dylan, Dylan, and Dylan.

Dave Chappelle: Look, man, look. Michael Jackson has many faces - none of them look guilty to me. You gotta look in the eyes, not the noses.

Tron: Katie has some big ass tit-tays!

Dave Chappelle: R. Kelly was pissed. No punchline to that. Nigga was pissed. He was all, "How could you go and make a video about peeing on someone?" Nigga, how could YOU go making a video about peeing on somebody?

Gonerrhia: Oh, hello Dave Chappelle. Haven't seen you in a while. Dave Chappelle: ...Sick motherfucker...

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Happy Birthday

Arman, any time any place, with my new tennis game your ass is grass!

Monday, September 19, 2005

Yeah I watched Clueless so what?

So I caught a cold this weekend, so hopped up on the drugs and the lack of vicodin (trying to not take it) I have consumed; a lot of television, 2 tubs of ice cream, a bag of popcorn, 6 cups of pudding, 5 cinabons (damn that crap is so good), and that is only the junk food. So clearly the body has been abused this weekend. Amusing that I am healthier when drinking! So anyway in my somewhat weakened state I caught some of clueless. I have only seen the full movie once and I confess that I liked it. Not liked it in the sense that “Damn this is a good movie” but more like “Huh this is amusing and a decent waste of a couple of hours”.

So watching it today I remembered how back then Alicia Silverstone was the next “it” actress. She was supposed to blow up and then…nothing. What happened to her? Her career tanked faster than Bush’s approval rating. <An aside and I will probably ask this again: Is it an approval rating if it drops below 50% isn’t it then a disapproval rating?> But anyway back to Clueless amazing that Brittany Murphy currently has the best career of the ladies from that movie. I guarantee that in 1995: 9/10 peeps would have picked Alicia Silverstone, Stacey Dash or Elisa Donovan (damn she was snotty on Sabrina the teenage witch [type-cast]) to have the bigger careers, but not the girl who had a difficult time dancing to “Rolling with the Homies”

So though I know it’s not the most macho movie to watch (In my defense I also watched Demolition Man this wknd not a great movie but definitely macho and who didn’t like the Peroxide hair of Wesley Snipes) and guys always laugh at the guy that brings it up some how guys always know scenes from that movie. If you don’t believe me test out your boys (unless of course they read the blog and will then lie to save face), most guys have watched and liked Clueless. Hell many guys can even quote from that movie, though that is not the best thing to do if trying to show that you are a man among boys etc.

Plus we all know that, that movie gives you a true insight into the lives of California kids!

My Birthday Dinner!

K so I have decided to go to Harney Sushi. If you have not received an evite it could be a bunch of reasons; my innate laziness and inability to type in too many email addies at once; I cannot remember your email addie; I sent the email to the wrong addie; I don't know you so Y did you expect an invite?; or I need you to actually give me your email so that I can send you an invite.
Harney sushi
Saturday September the 24th at 7pm.

Happy Birthday

Dan, you have been a great go fetch my laundry damn it.

Raw fish for my birthday

Ok so my birthday is this Saturday. So of course I have a big bar review planned for the Friday night. But, this Saturday I would like to go out to Sushi for my birthday dinner and would like to go with some friends so if anyone can suggest somewhere good to go for sushi that could fit at least 5-20 people please tell me.

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.