Infrequently updated consistently funny

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Of lyme, toe sucking and Texas fight

It is so good to be back, I had forgotten the value of a good lyme. It was great to do the blogger link up and talk to peeps that were only online entities. I had missed just going to an open air bar and not having to worry if I going to be frozen solid in 10 minutes time.

     When I was a kid mom used to warn me not to leave chips etc out because they would get soggy, but I guess living here I never really noticed how dramatic the change wrought by the humidity was, plus we have lived so long in the ‘cultured’ air of Norbrook that things just naturally keep better. But, kicking it last night for a bit in the plains I was amazed at how rapidly Pringles and Cheetos changed from crunchy to just soft enough to be gummed.

     So the 6 million dollar man and I were at a birthday party for a bit last night and the disses were flying around in rare form, plus the action was that of an orgy w/o the actual group sex. It is strangely disturbing to watch a friend put on the full Daddy Mack mode in front of you: The “want me to suck your toes” line crossed the line brethren. Hey, I do not judge how u get yo freak on is yo bizniss but the rest of us do not need to hear about it, especially not at a birthday party.

     Speaking of toe sucking; I need a freak. Apparently everyone else has one, judging from the various convos I heard last night at diff places…seems like they are a dime a dozen, even my ex has one: May she R.I.P.

     I am so nervous about next week’s game it hurts. What makes it worse is that my bro is talking smack to me which is his right: After your team wins 2 titles in a row, you have earned a certain right to belittle your little bro’s team. How much is a speeding ticket in Jamaica now? Cause I have to go out of town during the day and I have already warned the parental unit that we are setting land speed records on the way back in. 6 Mill you waan come fi di flex? My mom looks on the rivalry between my bro and I re our teams as “CUTE” CUTE? While I grant you it’s not a blood feud like I would have had, should he have gone to say Tx, A &M and less than the “I wish he would die” that it would be if he had gone to OU it is still more than just cute. Last year I didn’t speak to him for almost a month after they won, I can’t imagine how bad it will be this year. Though it TEXAS wins I will understand if y’all want to strangle me by day 2.


Dr. D. said...

Cali J....good link come across much like you write on the blog.

Yeah, local limes are irie....

Tek it easy on de press when you going country....the speeding tickets vary according to how much over the limit you going. And de Police dem deh 'bout like ants to rass.

You will have to let off the 6 Mill $ story in time....sounds like it woulda mek a good blog post.

Shotta M said...

The blogger link up was good. I was at the party to and know the same bredrin. The girl was asking him to suck her toes and she was pushing it in his face and so to put an end to that he grabbed her foot in his hand and pretended to play the this little pig game with her toes. He could have handled it otherwise perhaps, but he told me he was just trying to play off her actions without being mean to her.

Mad Bull said...

Wahts up, yo? The link up was good. Texas a heediat! Texas is only fit to be OU's mascot.

Don't take the above said stuff too hard, I don't watch American rugby at all, so I'm just messing with you. ;-)

aarond said...

Hahah OU can barely carry Texas' jock right now

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.