Infrequently updated consistently funny

Friday, December 30, 2005

Streets is getting hot and the youths them a get so cold...

Too lazy to blog so just cutting from an email I am sending to my bro

Sometimes I think someone in Jamaica is planning a war that I don’t know about. Because the amount of guns that are floating around and the amount of killing that is going on I have to feel peeps are practicing. They have decided to turn video games into reality in this country. If you own a PS2 and live in Jamaica it appears to me to be a waste of money to buy a 1st person shooting game when you could just grab a 45 put on some bling have a couple visible Benjamins hanging out a pocket and head down town and stand in the middle of Princess street and decide that you going to walk from there back to New Kingston, I guarantee you all the live action real time shooting you want. Don’t forget to liberally sprinkle in some “Go suck yuh mudda bwoy” and some “Eh batty boy/fassy holes” for effect. Also at certain points in the trip make sure and this is key; switch political allegiance be a Laborite on some streets and a Comrade on others that is guaranteed to bring in the one’s who don’t want to rob you but are willing to use a gun to show you the joys of voting…vote or die indeed!
     [After I left a party 4 houses down fr ours 3 shots rang out at a car, I had just opened the house door to get in, I missed it by 1/2 a minute]

5 days till TEXAS v F.U.S.C.
Quote of the day from my inner monologue “She used to be cute and now she is ugly, maybe my eyesight improved”

5 comments:

Mad Bull said...

Happy New Year, Aaron. All the best!

Cindy said...

Happy New Year!!!

Anonymous said...

I miss beating that bootie, hurry back!!!

Happy New Year!!!

LaNelle

Dr. D. said...

Yow Cali J.....you had me a buss a rass laugh in front o de screen here wid the "Go suck you Mumma bwoy!"

Glad the shot dem never ketch you still. Poor Ja...I tiyad a seh dat.

Hope that '06 brings for you and yours all that you wish.

Michael Brody said...

Hey bro, good luck to Texas. Although Im an SC fan, Im rooting for a good game. Go Vince, go Reggie and Go SC

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.