Infrequently updated consistently funny

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

The Jamaican

This is the longest I have gone without writing a blog in a very long time (nothing like a wireless network – thanks Shotta). So I have returned to the land of my birth the country that someday one of my colleagues will one day rule (I have no doubt of that…I went to a high school that culls from the crème de la crème and went to UWI albeit for a minute when movers and shakers) and I love being back. I have truly come to dislike Christmas, not what it means but the trappings that invariably come with it. Despite my protests I was forced

(FORCED I tell you: I know I have a strong personality and it can wear on my friends and annoy my enemies but damn I am as a lamb to the slaughter when up against my mom…a basic part of the exchange Cali-J; Mom I tell you I am not putting up lights this year
Mom; Just put the lights up now so you won’t have to put them up tomorrow
Cali-J; C’mon mom I don’t want to put lights up this year
Mom; Boy hurry up and put the lights up, on this tree and some on that tree oh and definitely that tree over there
Cali-J; Yes mom (grumble, grumble grumble)

…to put lights on trees outside. Despite telling the parental unit that I refused to put lights up over 1700 lights later I realized that appearances must be kept up. One of my friends once told me that they knew my house because it was the house in Norbrook with all the Christmas lights. In years past (thanks Shotta) we have put up upwards of 5000 xmas lights on various trees around the house. Our damn yard would be so lit up that u didn’t need an address to find my house, thankfully this year I was able to beg off having to do more than a few trees with the excuse that the other trees have grown too large and will not effectively display the lights (oh and that JPS has gone crazy with the electricity bills that peeps are getting).

Anyway I wish all a Merry Christmas (despite my rant) and a prosperous New Year especially the Texas Longhorns. Nutty P lookout our bet is still on and so far I am holding up my part of the bargain. To all the girls I loved before…die slow ok I am kidding Merry Xmas to you too

You really did ruin my life…

My High school reunion is in 8 days; should be fun to see who shows, how they show and who still hates whom.

What the hell is my cable company thinking providing me ESPN deportes instead of regular ESPN; granted my knowledge of Euro Futbol has increased exponentially (did you know PSV rules Dutch football?) but I have not seen an NBA highlight in 6 days.

Wow my Chargers beat the Colts! AMAZING good ole’ SD ruining the perfect season for everyone!

To the Jamaican bloggers and any others nearby lets link – Shotta and I would love to meet y’all

1 comment:

Dr. D. said...

OH! A dat yard inna Norbrook you flex at!? ;-)

Still, I vex seh de four palm trees that I usually light up on the sidewalk at Christmas died in October...everybody pon de road waan know whappen to de light dem dis year. But yes, a nuff work still.

The blogger link is looking like Wednesday next week at La Kabana....will that be a Cali J endorsed event rude yute? ;-)

Merry Christmas and hope we can share some lika at the link.

Respond at my site or Mad Bull.

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.