Infrequently updated consistently funny

Monday, December 15, 2008

Holland Township man names son after Adolf Hitler -

Holland Township man names son after Adolf Hitler -

Look I have often made the observation that the Name Hitler was so bad that no one in Germany even has it any more. For instance O.J. Simpson is a bad name but kids are still called O.J. and the last name Simpson is very popular. But, no one runs around with the name least no one smart!

Meet these idiots! This to me is already cruelty to your children. But PLEASE PLEASE note their source of income. They are too good to mix with my race, but they are damn sure not too good for my taxes to support their ignorant lifestyle.

Bloody scum!

Thanks to Assassin for providing the link. I was feeling sluggish today but something like this got the blood roiling and gave me energy to get things done!

If this keeps up we may have to follow the lead of other countries and force name-approval.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Chilean cardinal: Madonna rouses 'impure thoughts' - Yahoo! News

Chilean cardinal: Madonna rouses 'impure thoughts' - Yahoo! News

How small minded can you get? He is going after Madonna while Praising PINOCHET? Seriously! This is a twisted world we live in, but there is no way Pinochet should be honored. Hell even if you do not believe half of what he did he was still a DICTATOR!

Sunday, December 07, 2008


(I really wish I knew who to credit with this, I googled it but could not find an original poster)

US Ranked 4th

After determining the Big-12 championship game participants, the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.

"Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work--including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule--our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking."

Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the BCS commissioner stated "The US only had two major victories--Japan and Germany. The computer models, unlike humans, aren't influenced by head-to-head contests--they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event."

German Chancellor Adolf Hitler said "Yes, we lost to the US; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks." Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn 'style points' to enhance Germany's rankings. Hitler protested "Our contest with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional forces."

The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented " France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 ranking they only fell to #2."

Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines.

---bloody funny stuff, whomever came up with it, is right on target and bloody funny!

Saturday, December 06, 2008

Teacher sorry for binding girls in slavery lesson - Yahoo! News

Teacher sorry for binding girls in slavery lesson - Yahoo! News

BLOODY BAD IDEA! What I am even more shocked at is (if true) the Teacher did not give a full apology. Look we all make mistakes (some should get us fired) but once the mistake is made, you have to HAVE TO own up to them.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

A millie, a millie: Lil Wayne leads Grammy noms with 8, Coldplay 7 - Yahoo! News

Lil Wayne leads Grammy noms with 8, Coldplay 7 - Yahoo! News

I loved the Carter III glad to hear that the academy seems to have liked it too. I know many of you were probably really tired of hearing Wayne songs on the radio, but trust me listen to the whole album, the thing is Fire.

I also like the nod to Ne-Yo for Album of the year. Of course Leona Lewis and M.I.A. got noms for their tracks, I do not even have to list which of their songs they were nominated for, since they are clearly only going to be nominated for the tracks that you heard every day on your radio.

This paragraph amused me: "Some surprising omissions: Katy Perry, who had one of the year's biggest hits with "I Kissed a Girl," was shut out of the top categories, including record of the year and best new artist." -Really? So many peeps I know hated that song, just because something is catchy does not make it good, if you doubt me, go punch in Britney's 'Womanizer' into your mp3 player. I hate that song, but damn is it catchy!

Kanye 'only' had six nominations, they might want to pat him down when he enters the hall at the awards!

I think Estelle might bitch slap someone if Adele ends up winning more awards than she does...for my money Estelle is the much better artist and I suspect the better fighter too! Oh who am I kidding, no need to be PC, Adele is bloody over-rated!

Let me throw in a plug here for SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE, I watched it loved it, and now want you to see it!

A funny take on Prop 8!

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Just something for peeps to think about!

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Roman Polanski requests dismissal of sex charge - Yahoo! News

Roman Polanski requests dismissal of sex charge - Yahoo! News

Polanski's lawyer has some HUGE stones! I have always been surprised with how calmly Hollywood treats this issue. I mean damn it was a THIRTEEN YEAR OLD girl, if he were not one of their own would they have screamed bloody murder? Imagine hearing that someone had sex with a 13 year old, wouldn't it immediately sicken you?

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

BREAKING: John Forte One Of 16 Pardoned By George Bush | Hip Hop News >

BREAKING: John Forte One Of 16 Pardoned By George Bush | Hip Hop News >
I would not have believed this if I had not read it. I did not expect this. When John Forte initially was convicted I was shocked. Not shocked at the conviction, because they had him cold, it was clear he was guilty, but, I was shocked at the A. length of time he got and B. the fact that with a career that seemed about to be on the rise he got caught doing something so dumb as shifting weight (to the slang impaired; moving significant quantities of drugs); though it should be noted that many believe he was set up/was an innocent if naive go-between.
"Yo, yo hustle big hustle small all ya'll relate to this
I'ma culture power baby, when I run right through it"---John Forte, let us see if he gets back on his hustle

By the way, while I still believe him guilty, I firmly disagree with MANDATORY MINIMUMS, I think they undermine our justice system.

Currently listening to the new Kanye : 808s and Heartbreak

Oh and in case you do not know Forte's big hit I include the video, watching it, you might think he was on drugs to get this concept

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Abilene Christian scores record 93 points in win - College Football -

Abilene Christian scores record 93 points in win - College Football -
The article has it right, these are basketball scores. The yardage total is insane too. I LOVE football in the state of Texas. That game must have been bloody fun to watch

Friday, November 21, 2008

Utah studio wants pole dancing in Olympics - Other sports-

Utah studio wants pole dancing in Olympics - Other sports-

Look I know it has been awhile since I blogged, been putting my creative juices into something else plus mentally distraught at the break up of a friendship. But anyway, never fear your boy Cali J is still here and something as crappy as the topic in the Title brought me back.

If they even get past the first level of scrutiny with this crap and get on the road towards becoming an olympic sport I think I will never watch the olympics for any sport not containing a Jamaican athlete at that point. (sorry that sentence is confusing, but I am tired and cranky)
BOTTOM LINE. This crap would end the Olympics for me for ever!
The fact that this was even on my local news lets me know for the 1353464th time that San Diego NEEDS better news

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

1 more reason to hate the Aggies, their stadium is full of #$#%

Apparently Texas A & M has a bat problem. And that problem comes with the added bonus of the bats relieving themselves all over the stadium. Apparently it is not enough that their opponents dump on them (see the scoreboard of their last 5 home games if you doubt me) now nature has made her feelings known!

You have to love when this quote can be made about your stadium: "The primary concern is making sure bat guano doesn't get in vendors' food. Official have also taken steps to protect unsuspecting fans from droppings."
---The Wiz of Odds

The HORNS will get their revenge this year, I hope we hang 60 on those bastards!

Monday, November 03, 2008

Go out and Vote!

Not telling you who to vote for...(that should be obvious, look into your heart). And I really should not have to give you incentives to vote, so how about some rewards?

Ben and Jerry Ice cream for voting, follow link

For the coffee crowd, and I know a tonne of you are addicts there is Free Starbucks!

And because I love expanding then attacking my waistline I have to add the Krispy Kreme stuff!

Now go out and vote have fun and let us make some CHANGES...oh wait did I let slip a leaning on my part?

(edit) Had to add this one, the funniest give-away I have seen for Election day is the Free Vibrator give-away in NYC. I am not linking to it, but I did like what one commenter said..."at least you can release some stress until results come out"

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Interesting video of political controversy from my old neighbourhood haunts

I find the differences in opinions based on age, sexuality and sex amusing.

The Trailer for the Notorious B.I.G. movie has been released

"...sometimes your words just hypnotize me"

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Sometimes u can be just too cool...vol 1

Today getting out of the car I had a 'cool moment'. You know those moments when you know everything you are doing is just looking really cool. I pulled up windows down, nice So Cal day DMX 'Rough Riders Anthem' blasting at just the right volume, not too loud to annoy the neighbors, just loud enough to let peeps know "I'm cool". Pulled into a tricky spot, really smooth cause "I'm cool". Put the windows up left a suitable ventilation crack first try because "I'm cool". Took of my shades like a bloody Rockstar cause "I'm cool". Put my Ipod earphones in my air with a move that just looked amazing (flipped the cords from around my neck caught them on the up swing place in ears no static in the motion) cause "I'm cool". Stepped out of the car placed my Starburys on the ground like I owned the strip cause "I'm cool". Slid out had my Jamaican 'weed recylcing shirt' blaze out to the sun to let the world know I am a yardie cause "I'm cool"

Then reached my hand up to close the bloodclaut car door and jumped like a scared kid and yelped in pain cause...I got shocked by the damn car door. Damn static electricity...physics hates me!

So anyway went into the store to get some pork chops because I decided to tinker in the lab (aka the kitchen) with a spicy orange ginger glaze and let me tell you this it came out BLOODY AWESOME.
I got the idea when I was walking the attack poodle passed an abandoned lot, saw an orange tree over-loaded with ripened fruit. Grabbed one, went home juiced it into the pan, added ginger, pimento, sugar, soy sauce, sage, vinegar, ketchup, bbq sauce, and simmered...divine.
Baked some chops added carmelized onions, poured the sauce over them in the last minute and nearly killed myself by eating 3 servings worth in one sitting. I highly recommend it.

Sorry Robin, you had your bring me my damn juice!!!!

Monday, October 20, 2008

Hahaha Does the Ref tackle him?

In the vid it looks like the ref squares up and lays the wood to the SC Qb!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Watching the Texas OU game...celebrating Early like USAIN BOLT

Nervous as hell. Did not sleep last night. OU is the better team on paper, but games are not bloody played on paper.

Apparently 41 of the OU players are from the state of Texas, those bastards are confusing and then stealing our impressionable youth.
(They must be promising them jobs at Car dealerships )
Hmm let's see if I can try to keep up a running, live blog.
- OU scores first, there O is scary good.
- UT answers but only with a field goal
- BS call of running into the kicker I say BS because that is what the crowd started chanting, ABC might want to turn off its crowd mics or risk a call from the FCC
- ( I really should have slept last night)
- it is 9.35am and OU STILL SUCKS!
- Shout out to Ash in Dubai, Mukund in Aussie Land and Preeth in Class: Suckers
- Bad luck Minh...having to work
-Props to Robin for allowing me to use her house while she is not here, good to know that even when out of Town I get net access and a big screen for the game, I love Cali
- Colt McCoy running for his life, I am still amazed the kid is benching 3bills that is bloody impressive.
- An OU player's last name is Box, that is pretty cool
- Texas fumbled then recovered it, I think my heart just stopped...I am raiding the closet for asprin, you never know
- 5 WR set, O Line holds up...still a near INT
- Henry Melton clearly has rocks in his head
- This name really needs John Madden to let us know that if Texas scores more than OU, they will win.
- I do not believe in superstitions, so why then am I sitting at home in a Texas throwback Jersey?
- Seeing the stadium split down the middle red on one side orange on the other is beautiful, if I was sentimental I would cry. Instead I will mock the OU chick that they just showed with the bewildered look on her face. She probably did not know whether it was time to cheer for her brother/husband
-Seriously he is putting up 3 bills if I had not benched yesterday I would go at half time to try a max out rep (and nope it would be no where close to 3 bills)
- So I am in town for Oktoberfest, depending on how this game goes, they might have to restock the whole town!
- Crap, OU scores via a bloody ricochet, of all the luck 14-3 OU
- Oh wow Kick return by Texas to the HOUSE!!! Musberger started calling it a TD with 30 yards left to go. See bloody Sooners, we EARN our points no freak scores here
- On that play the kicker tried to stop Shipley on his cake walk to the endzone, it looked like someone trying to whip a giant with a noodle. 14-10 Ou still leads
- Wow our 2ndary is WEAK, we just got burned for an easy TD 21-10
- Could really have used the ref tripping the receiver like in that crappy ad
- If McCoy stays, we are coming in next year as the pre-season #1, calling it now!
- Welcome back Greg Davis, it would not be a Red River Shootout without you making a predictable call
- Phrase you never want to hear about your team's D: "Offense X is scoring at will"
- Whew I panicked for a second, though I saw Mack Brown's kid on the sideline
- So far none of our run plays are working well
- The announcers are almost making it seem like the McCoy - Shipley relationship is a bit more than just QB-Receiver
- Texas has gotten to the OU 1 yard line, give OU credit, they do not even look worried.
- We better punch this in...SWEET TD, the Cameraman got lost for a bit. RB sweep to the corner of the endzone out of the 'Jumbo package', that sound more like a packet of hotdogs and not a play call. 21-17 OU still leads, in case math is not your thing.
- Sam Bradford throws A STRIKE unfortunately for OU it was to a Texas DB.
- Texas immediately challenges the OU D and throws a 40 yard pass.
- Damn, one of the OU top linebackers is down, HATE TO SEE THAT. As much as I hate OU, I do not want anyone injured. A cramp, now that I can get behind.
- Very dumb roughing the passer call. Bad on the Refs part and dumb on the OU defenders part, you know refs make bad calls, do not help them do stupid things. Still thought it was a BAD CALL, but if you follow the rules exactly (see WA v BYU) it was roughing the passer.
- Whew, McCoy nearly picked off, this year that is highly unusual. 20TD 3 INts so far for him.
- 3 and 7 on the 17 we really need this . Looks like we are going to have to try for the FG
- Here is how crazy I am when it comes to Texas football. I am highly allergic to Robin's cat, yet I loaded up on Claritin, carried some Benadryly with me and have the big gun Promethazine as the backup, just so that I can watch this game.
- FG is good; no shock here high score at the half 21-20 OU leads. I would really have liked to have taken a lead at the half
- Some quick halftime thoughts: Neither D is playing exceptionally, there are too many quality athletes on both D's for the cartoon yardage counts that are currently being put up. The way UT played the first half I am happy being within one point. Sam Bradford is as GOOD as advertised, Colt has his work cut out for him in the 2nd half to match his stats. Jordan Shipley is good enough to become the Next White Receiver in the NFL, always amazes me that peeps do not expect white guys to play certain positions.
- I brought a back up cell battery pack, but with all the text messages I am getting and sending during this game, that might not be enough.
- I swear on all 4 of my grand parents graves Lee Corso just said "They'll win this game but they will have to out-score Texas" No SERIOUSLY, he just said that. I think Lee might have been trying some fried Jack Daniels, if you think I am joshing check out some of the stuff they are frying currently at the Texas Fair:
- FRIED COCA COLA, fried chilli frito burrito (honestly after fried Coke nothing seems that crazy) of course there are staples like fried twinkies, fried s'mores and fried banana splits, if you like cream and oil, fried oreos, fried banana pudding, fried snickers. Ok the game is back on no more gastronomical updates (I hope)
- If I can see a facemask from my couch, how does the ref miss it?
- First possession of 2nd half by UT ends in a punt, oh well I was hoping the momentum would carry. Great return on the punt by OU 24 yards
- If the OU back keeps running like that, there will be a fumble
- The Burnt Orange Nation page is getting so many comments the page can barely refresh in time
- Damn OU fumbled but it went out of bounds to keep possession to them. There have been some lucky breaks for them (see TD above) but they have basically earned their breaks by keeping our D on its heels.
- 3rd and 10, Will Muschamp (our D coach looks like he is going to have a heart attack on the sideline), if OU scores here they might have to strap him to a gurney.
- OMG, we just missed 3 tackles and allowed OU to walk into our endzone, OU up 28-20
- Good thing I have that rule of never drinking alone, otherwise I might be taking shots of the Vodka that Robin keeps in her freezer. ---Quick aside, JT is a 120lb girl yet she has 2 huge handles of Vodka and Rum in her freezer a 750 of Green tea vodka, some bottles of wine, sake and beer all in her refridgerator, but very little food. I am not asking if I should be worried about her, I am asking if she should be my idol? Good Girl!
- If B.O.N. was like ESPN and did not allow expletives on its message board, they would probably have 10 posts. Some very creative use of the F word and parts of the OU fan anatomy.
- Finally a longhorn run that went past the line of scrimmage, a 30 yard run by the senior, Ogbonaya...good job
- Consistent drive right now. YES WE CAN, YES WE CAN...oh sorry,
- Texas in the redzone, let me take a guess at our play call: Screen pass...YUP
- Prediction on 2nd and goal, run...Yup
- 2 yard line 3rd and goal prediction pass to shipley: YES I WAS RIGHT AND IT GOT US A BLOODY TD, that is greatness folks, when everyone knows what you are going to do, and you still get it done!
28-27 ou leads
- Defintiely looking like a cliche game of whomever has the ball last wins!!
- Remember earlier when I said Melton had rocks in his head, HORRENDOUS roughing the passer penalty on him.
- Wow they showed them frying a Snowball impressive
- OU fumbled, like I said they would, but then they recovered it...what did I say about lucky. Damn it!
- Nice swarm D by the horns, OU ran a screen and I almost felt bad for the receiver...almost
- Crap OU faked a punt, he looks short, Refs have given a generous spot, but still looks short EFF YOU STOOPS, you did this crap my first year at UT, I hope we ram this one down your Sooner throat!
- Oh man I want to yell like Cassanova (James Patterson reference) we held those bastards short of the 1st down!
- Uh oh, instant replay review, come on, come on, no more luck for OU. RULING ON THE FIELD STANDS TEXAS BALL!
- Colt McCoy looking like VY, and the OU player just made a stupid late hit, I know Musberger hates Texas but come on, relax on the calls man, DO NOT TOUCH THE QB out of bounds
- I suspect that without the live blogging I would be screaming like a mad man!
- Uh oh McCoy was flushed out of the pocket threw to the end zone while being hit, a sooner grabs it but the ball comes out on the ground so I do not think it was an INT, COme on horns kick fast kick fast SWEET got the kick off b4 any chance of a review UT NOW LEADS! 30-28
- Just spoke to Preeth on his 10 minute class break, he is thinking of ditching the 2nd half of class to go watch the game. I think my next score update text to him will include these words "DITCH BLOODY CLASS" I mean after all we have to know our priorities!
- Now is as good a time as any to boast about my Spider-man skills, Robin did not think I could penetrate the stronghold of her appt because to access the building one has to climb a gate and then boost ones self up to a second floor balcony...uh I AM JAMAICAN, yard man nuh get stopped by nuh likkle 2 storey buidling, I and I dust that off.
- Mack Brown is gaining weight, but hey he got us a National Title, he could become Shamu he is still good in my book...though I would rather him not ever get to Mark Mangino's size, and yes I am saying Shamu is smaller than Mangino
- OUR KICK COVERAGE TEAM HAS DEFINITELY LOST ITS MIND! They just ran into the kicker again! And you know what, I have no argument with it, I know the kicker is play-acting a bit re his injury, but damn it, what are they thinking rushing him!
- Of course I will be pissed if they convert this to a win.
- Our tackling is horrible I blame ESPN etc, too many players trying to make flashy tackles and not the down and dirty chest to a chest knock the man off his feet tackle
- OU driving, on our 30, holding call though will take them back 10. Clear holding though, Kindle was basically dancing with the guy!
- Cot damn, we just gave up a 26 yard completion on a 3rd and 14
- I do not know if we are the #1 team in the Nation, I think OU is, but if we beat them desptie all these crappy mistakes I think we have a shot at staking a claim.
- Damn, OU scores and is going for 2, if they convert it will be a 6 point lead. Our 2ndary is getting TORCHED!
- Seriously I am still pissed at the kick coverage, you have seen the refs call everything tight, Y risk it and rush the kicker, now we are staring at a 2 point attempt
- OU penalty, backs them up, bet Stoops still goes for 2, oh wow, he is actually being conservative and going for just the PAT
-Watch for the fake, if he fakes it here, punch him in the face. Just do it, send Melton over and punch him, that is pretty much the only penalty Melton has not gotten yet. Note I said yet.
- PAT - good, 35-30 OU retakes the lead, and I think my left one just shrivelled up a bit.
- If nothing shows how weak our 2ndary is, this will have to do it, Bradford with almost a full 1/4 left has thrown for 5 Tds/1INT
- McCoy runs fumbles and uses his strength to pull it back in, remember 3 BILLS!
- No offense to this ABC update, but no one oustide of Carolina (and I have no idea which is East) or West VA cares about the WVA v ECU game!
- Sometimes your player has a clear brain-fart, we needed 3 yards, we did a screen, the receiver then ran 3 yards in the wrong direction
- TOUCHDOWN Shipley, oh crap, the ref wants to take it away. Please no, come on, you are bloody kidding me. Problem is the replay is so hard to tell, if they mark him down at the one, I do not think we win the replay.
- Ok I am with them, down at the one, 1st and goal on the one.
- Punch it in HORNS! Come on, do it for Mike Shirts!
- Straight ahead TD! Texas 36-35, do we go for 2 and make it a FG lead? I think we have to, and yup, here they go.
- Juggled, basically a jump ball and Cosby stares straight up at it like a rebound and goes straight up and Charles Barkley's it...i.e. he sticks his butt out and gets that damn ball. TEXAS 38-35.
- Bradford almost picked, Damn Lamar Houston is down, nope he is up, ok 6.39 to go, do we play the slow down game or gun it. I say we gun it, we have not been able to run out the clock at all this game, I say we go for it try to score because so far neither D has been able to really shut down the Os yeah there have been a few 3 and outs, but I want us to win not limp to a loss.
- This game could kill me. I am convinced I will one day have a heart attack while watching Texas Football.
- Sounds like Herbie agrees with me, attack, do not go conservative
- Damn, McCoy's vision has improved so much over last year; he let the O-line do its job, stayed calm in the pocket, then dumped it off, great 1st down pickup
- Amazing run by C Ogie, puts us on the 5, then we throw to a line man, he of course drops the rock, but no biggie we punch it in on the next play to go up 45-35, I can almost taste it.
- Preeth this is my shout out "I told you so" moment, I am celebrating Early like USAIN BOLT
- Michigan lost to Toledo at the LITTLE house, they have lost the right to call it the big house right now. I mean come on 13-10 to Freaking TOLEDO? Good job on that Rich Rod hire if u were expecting immediate dividends! (Sadly I think he will eventually be good)
- Come on LSU, go down to Florida like a nice co-ed, help us out a bit
- Bradford tries a run, skips one tackle wrapped up after 6 yards, 4th down attempt coming. Please Please please, YES, TEXAS BALL.
- 80 meters into the race, time to start pounding my chest and spread my arms wide to the crowd.
- Nice safe run play, 2.27 on the clock, time cannot go any slower right now.
- OU out of T.Os, clock is ticking, tick, tick, tick, down to 2 minutes (no 2 minute warning in College). Not that I bet (on Texas football, just a rule, no concern re the stupid hypocritical law) but I always follow the lines, Vegas opened with OU 7 point faves, the line was bet down to 6 then back to 6.5 yesterday, 70% of the action went to OU, hahaha SUCKERS! Never trust a Sooner.
- Some more stuff for the degenerates, this was the most bet on game of this weekend, Vegas was hoping for a Texas cover, they got more than they needed.
- The over for this game was 58, uhmm yeah, hope you bet the OVER!
- Bradford goes for one last heave in the endzone, looks like it might have been picked, but no one cares to challenge it.
- Look I hate the sooners, but damn they played a HELL OF A GAME!
- The Red River SHOOTOUT (eff pc and Rivalry, today was a shootout) now stands at Texas 58 Wins, OU 40 wins, and 5 ties
- DAMN IT I know I am biased but this was so far the best game of the year!
- Shout out:
Texas Tina, my faithful game watching companion who is always willing to save me a seat,
Shirts, for calling early to taunt thus guaranteeing a win
Preeth for making me laugh,
Surya for knowing that calling me is always a good idea after a Texas win.
The Parental units for having the good sense to allow me to go to Texas (and the money to send me there even if it was a one-way tix)
Ash for logging on from half the planet away to share Texas love
Samir, for gamecasting it and showing love to the horns
Rohan (coz) for rooting for us (even though I understand the selfish reasons...I would do the same)
God for giving me blogging talent
Laura for the love coming online when Texas started its momentum run. Deuces!
ABC for moving this game so that I could watch it and still hit Oktoberfest
Robin for having a glorious big screen and then leaving me to myself so I did not have to sheath my emotional sword
OU for sucking
And just a general shout out to Me, cause seriously I deserve it!

It is 12.51 and OU STILL SUCKS!
Now off to facebook to taunt Preeth on his wall so that his sooner friend can see my Texas PRIDE!
Colt McCoy, if I ever see you or Shipley, I am buying you a drink

Friday, October 10, 2008

Punch a CEO in the face and some other fun links like Jamie Lynn Spears preggers again?

Jay Leno schooled me to this. Apparently the CEO of Lehman Brothers took a huge hit to the face and got KTFO!

For many of my friends, SA I am thinking of you, this comes too late. But it is definitely needed. I do not get drunk but I certainly do become melancholic while suffering from insomnia and sometimes send the 'wrong' email. So I actually think this would be amusing to use: Google now has an email program that is supposed to help you avoid shooting off drunk emails. To prevent you from making the drunk email mistake, the program requires that you do some math problems in a specific amount of time before you are allowed to shoot of an email. If you fail at the problems the program suggests that you go to bed instead. The link tells you how to set it up..

Ford has set up a car system where you can set how fast anyone can ever drive your car
. The idea is that it is designed to slow down teenagers on the road. It also regulates the volume of the radio (which really is JUST CRUEL, what is the point of being a teen if you cannot risk you ear drums?) I would love to get it, lend my car out to someone and then restrict the speed to 50...then again, I am cruel like that.

I love that peeps are questioning if Kendra (the chick from Hef's Girl Next door aka Playboy aka I date an old man along with 3 other chicks and a hundred other random 'garden tools') upgraded now that she is leaving Hef for Hank Baskett (Eagles widereceiver). To me the bigger question is Did Baskett downgrade? I know he is not even in the top 2 receivers on his team, but come on man, you are a decent looking dude, you play in the NFL and girls will LOVE you, why on earth would you want to take Hef's table scraps? And when those scraps were the 3rd girl in a 3 girl rotation, come on man. Read up on the Hef dating structure (the lack of condoms, the girl on girl, the {ugh sorry I just puked at the he is an ancient old man stage}) you should never touch any girl that he has 'shuffled' through. Rumor here

Ok, I know major newspapers are reporting this, but really can it be true
? Could Jamie Lynn Spears (for some reason it seems hard to not call her all 3 names) really be pregnant again? I mean come on, you just popped out a kid FOUR months ago!!! A rumor has it that she thought she could not get pregnant while she was breast-feeding. So for all you other peeps out there who secretly think the same....WRONG, WRONG, WRONG

Instant blog update, E online says there is no bun in the oven
, man I hope they are right

And remember, you cannot get pregnant if you shower immediately afterwards or if you really really hope you are not!

Friday, October 03, 2008

O.J. Simpson found guilty of all charges

Wow that is a headline some peeps have waited ages to see and hear.

Sentencing on Dec 5th, he could get life, story here!

VP debate

Biden v Palin, I watched it with a couple of friends. Both are heavily behind the Democratic party, which made it funny to watch with them. Pretty much everything Palin said was met with derision by them. At the same time as watching it with them I was tracking the response of my Republican friends online and they thought Palin was hitting every point excellently. 

I love the political season it brings out the best and worst in peeps and the partisan views truly amuse me. 

If I had to score the debate I would say Biden clearly won, was it a knock-out blow? Maybe not, but if it were a boxing match he sure scored some knockdowns. 

One month to the election...will prejudice and spite affect this election, or will rational thought prevail. 

Monday, September 29, 2008

Sarah Palin is 'Adorable'

You have to love that the political season always causes SNL to step its game up. I love the 'Palin' response to foreign policy...'shoo Russians'

Saturday, September 27, 2008

R.I.P. Paul Newman

One of the first movies I loved as a kid was "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" he really was 'just cool'

In later years I have thought of him more for his charitable foundations and Salad Dressing, but he always seemed cool in my head.

Unfortunately there goes another Hollywood legend.

'Poor out a little sauce for you today'

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Happy Birthday to me, and some blogging

So another year has passed and I am grateful to the Father above and the one here on earth. Love to my mom and Bro for as always being there. Props to the sis for keeping me grounded. Hail to the friends who stay around me and yup HAIL TO ME, cause I did it too.

Met the majority of my goals for this year: For once I stuck to my weight goals and actually dropped the weight, overall weight loss this year is 51lbs. It was slow it was up and down but it was finally done.

New goals have been set for the upcoming year, new blogs will be made all the enterprises will continue L.I.T. , Cali J, Id and Ego and AD incorporated, and fun will ensue all on the way to the 30th Birthday celebration! It will be big or it will be intimate but it will definitely be remembered

AARON D, 29 years of ‘some people love me some people hate me, everyone respects me’
Big ups to the massive!

Now on to blogging cause I am too lazy to make separate posts:

I have to thank both the Detroit Lions (finally firing Matt Millen and maybe thus giving Roy Williams a chance to win some games) and Clay Aiken (finally coming out to the words DUH) for taking their cracks at giving me birthday presents.

On Clay Aiken,
has there been a bigger ‘nuh duh’ moment in the last 5 years? I mean come on, this would be like Katie Morgan finally coming out and saying “I am a whore” (she does porn). Look Clay, we all knew, in fact the only thing we did not know is if you knew. This part I find hard to believe “She was obviously somewhat stunned” that is supposedly his mom’s reaction when he told her 4 years ago that he was gay. Now I know that parents often utilize the tools of willful ignorance when dealing with their kids (I know mine do) but could his mom really have been shocked?

Finally while I think the Clay thing is clearly a ‘we all knew it moment’ it still to me highlights a problem with Hollywood and society in general…why must peeps come out? And why are they forced to come out? No one requires me to go around blogging that I am straight or declaring how many girls I am interested in etc. Could Clay not have just gone on living his life and casually mentioned that ‘hey there is this guy I am dating’ etc? Oh well, maybe the time will come when we do not have to know each and every aspect of peeps lives.

Wait a minute who am I kidding, I am old enough to know better than that now :)

Saturday, September 20, 2008

"I used to be a whore when I was younger"

That phrase then followed by these 2 "I cannot wait to get my fake id" and "my mom dropped me off" led me to the realization that 'eww' I am freaked out by this person and 2nd that for the Cougars and Kittens weekend, I will have much more fun going after the cougars.

I played the perfect gentleman/good Samaritan tonight, but much of it was purely out of fair and not the good nature of my heart I think (or maybe I am just being self deprecating). Anyway, on to the cougar hunt.

Assassin is the only one who knows how my night ended, and I hope he keeps it that way. (nothing illegal...yet nothing I am proud of)

Friday, September 19, 2008

Cougars and Kittens hunt Sep 08

Birthday next week = this weekend as good as any other time to hunt Cougars and Kittens. Kittens tonight at the Grand Opening of the Witherby, Cougars tomorrow at Jacks. If I have to turn another year older I might as well go after the things 'that remain the same age'.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Some random thoughts like "Dat baby don't look like me"

Does Maury Povich wake up at night in a cold sweat yelling "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER"

If philly is the seat of our nation's history, why does it look like a post apocalyptic movie set?

Why does philly have red lights when no one but the tourists care about them?

There are so many judge shows nowadays it makes me wonder what Mills Lane is up to

USA USA USA chants are annoying and often jingoistic
-- I stand by it, imagine how pissed peeps here get when someone in the middle of a sporting event started chanting CHINA, CHINA, etc

Usain Bolt is EVERYWHERE (if you are in a Puma store) 2 di wurrl

If our government is so good, why does every national disaster leave America looking like Bangladesh?

Cuba out performed us in its hurricane response and it took a worse hit than we did. If you do not believe me, take a look at a news source other than Fox News and CNN.

Little John makes good music...if you do not care about lyrics

Puffy is still a genius

I accidentally posted this blog by hitting some combo of keyboard keys and I have no idea what I did

Traveling with Robin is a lot more fun than I thought it could be.

I can go 72 hours without sleep.

Hour 71 gets fuzzy

Hour 72, should not have me behind a steering wheel.

But that only makes my driving match other philly drivers

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

"We need to talk" vol 3.342

Amazing that even coming from a girl I am not dating, those words cause shivers to run up my spine.

Can anyone name or even spot any member of the Pussy Cat Dolls other than the lead singer Nicole S? Has there ever been a more disposable top flight group. Nothing against them some of their stuff is very catchy and I like it. But, if they swapped out anyone other than the lead singer...would anyone notice?

I mean damn, I just saw a clip of them singing and realized..."I have no idea who these girls are" They consistently have top 10 hits, have millions of fans, platinum sales and I suspect the 2nd blonde girl could be standing next to me and I would not even know that she was not just the typical SoCal girl.

Hell the Spice Girls were manufactured, all the Making the Band groups are manufactured, most pop groups etc the list goes on, but for most of those groups swap out a member and you will notice. I am not even sure that the girls who started the music video ended the music video!!!!

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Usain Bolt vs Asafa Powell in Brussels

Watch Usain's start, he is amazing. Powell had a clean start and the race was competitive throughout. I will not spoil the finish. Enjoy the vid.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

"If you want to be the best, you have to train like LT" Ha, the Chargers wish...

In honor of opening day I am posting some clips I heard the guys on AM 1360 raving about, they are fairly funny and incorporate 2 of my favorite athletes (Kimbo not because of greatness but rather showmanship)

"This is my little sister's car, only 2000lbs": I love the training drill at the end:

This might be why I am not bulking up, I am clearly drinking the wrong sports drink:

I love when LT tries to mean Mug, and the meat on the grill.

Kimbo is clearly the greatest actor of our time:

There are a tonne more clips but I am a lazy blogger

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Floyd Mayweather Jr., robbed...who did not see this one coming.

File this one away under the letter D for DUH! After seeing the level of 'flossin' Mayweather put down in 24/7 and the flashiness he always has in every appearance, I am surprised that he has not gotten 'touched' before. Or maybe he did and they kept it quiet. Well reports are now out that he got jacked for SEVEN MILLION in Jewelry. Forget for a second that he got robbed of 7 million, focus on the fact that it is in JEWELRY! Cot, damn!

Makes me have to fall back to the old stand by lyric:
"If you'll sex in the Lex and your head be the bomb
I'll get you that stuff that Gretzky skate on
(What you mean "Gretzky be on"?) Ice
(Oh you're gonna buy me diamonds?!)
Shut the f&@k up"
-Cam'ron 'Horse and Carriage'

Though to be fair M.O.P.'s lyrics seem more appropriate:
"Take minks off! Take things off!
Take chains off! Take rings off!
Bracelets is yapped, Fame came off!
(Ante Up!) Everything off!
Fool what you want? We stiflin them fools
Fool what you want? Your life or your jewels?
The rules, (back em down) next thing, (clap em down)
Respect mine we Brooklyn bound, (bound! now, (now!)"

Finally, something tells me that for 7 million in jewels, someone might end up dead on the strip!

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Happy Birthday

Sand Assassin, aka Pierre, aka the Fat Bastard aka Damn Hippie, aka 'Oh you liberals'

Sorry for the one day know where I was all day on the 1st.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

John McCain brings out the cynic in me...and maybe Gustav

Look I want to think that politicians can act completely altruistically, but I do not believe it of either party. For the last couple months if not longer the big issue heading into the Republican campaign was "What to do about President Bush and VP Chaney?" As incumbents they HAD to speak at the convention, but as 'people with some of the lowest approval ratings ever' they were practically pariahs.

The issue that the party had was: 'How to have the top men in power speak, but yet not appear to speak for the party?'

Well, Gustav has solved all of that. Now thanks to Gussy, the prez and VP will not be going to the convention, and Repubs do not have to worry about them as the face of the party in highlight reels.

Additionally, Mcdiddy has curtailed the first few days of the convention...Here is where the cynic in me comes out, is this a ploy? This gives him some press, removes the idea of Repubs responding slowly, possibly gives a chance to atone for Katrina and allows for the opportunity to massage the press into carrying the convention in a more favorable light.

I mean seriously, Bush and Cheney were supposed to speak on Monday night, and now *POOF*
"McCain said in an interview with NBC that it was possible he would make his acceptance speech not from the convention podium but via satellite from the Gulf Coast region."
--If that truly happens that will be one of the cheesiest and saddest spectacles I have ever seen. Look I would hope he cares about the victims but to make an acceptance speech from a possible disaster area would harken back to a certain Prez making grandiose speeches from 'Ground zero'. Do not use tragedy to curry votes, please, please, pretty please?

Here is another cynical thought, send Palin...after all not many of us expect you to survive the rigors of the office if you did become president, she could use the experience.

Irony; the Hollywood edition for Aug 08

Any regular reader of the Cali J, knows that he loves Irony. Well opening up my yahoo inbox I was hit with this headline:
Duchovny: Sex Addict Onscreen and Off
Will 'Californication' Star Have to Give Up Role as Part of Sex Addict Recovery?

Now I have to say, that is bloody funny. The dude plays a sex addict and is himself a sex addict. The other thing that struck me was 'wow there is no privacy anywhere anymore.' I really like Tia Leoni and it sucks that now everyone has to know that her husband, needs it, craves it, wants it...all the time.

Hey, remember when that was just considered, 'being a guy'... maybe a 'horny guy'?

I confess I am rather curious as to what that rehab entails...are you shown a pix of a Victoria Secret model and then immediately followed up with a rap of a ruler on a sensitive area then a picture of Mother Theresa?

Another thing I find confusing, is the fact that the statement was released by David through his lawyer, I wonder if that was done to avoid needless speculation once word got around that he was in rehab?

I miss the days when stars were mysterious and the only thing I knew about them was that they were famous. Oh well, fame has its cost!

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Usain Bolt parody

See how much he can do in just 9.69 seconds...never doubt the sheer greatness of the Island Man!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

R.I.P. Gene Upshaw and the IOC president tongue lashes Bolt

I did not always agree with you, but you did much for the game that I love to watch for about 22 weekends of the year.

IOC president Jacques Rogge, do not mek mi tell yuh bout yuh rass!

Look, the guy is 22, if you have a problem with how he is celebrating, talk to him in private, no need to censor him in public. I did not see you calling out the Russian pole vaulter who was doing back flips, I did not hear you say anything when the US swimming team started screaming at the French. I read nothing about you going after the Chinese team doing laps in the stuff it!

"If a Fassy hole nuh like wi suck yuh mumma
cau no missa body bad man nuh fraida
mi tell any missa man fi guh suck out him gal
cau bad man nuh itch fi guh blow petrol " --Cham

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Usain Bolt, Shelly-Ann Frazer, doing it clean, ask other countries why they can no longer win!

"That girl, that girl Shelly-Ann" I love the sheer joy that she showed after winning the 100m, I could not stop chuckling. I love the exuberance of our winners, now the haters are coming out of the woodwork saying they lack class because of the celebrations - STUFF IT! I remember Carl Lewis sticking his hand in the air every time he passed his competitors and thought he had the win!

Rahtid I love the braces just gleaming in all the pictures and love how happy both Fraser and Bolt were in their interviews.

(Nuh linger)

Ok so let us talk serious talk fi a minute cause is bout time wi address the fact that my country is finally getting its props in sprinting. Is ages now we thought we had some of the best sprinters and yet mysteriously the big countries with the extra cash and resources were always pulling things out.

As a commenter on espn wrote "every year at the penn relays our high school runners trash the americans yet when they get to the professional level these same american runners that were constantly being beaten at college and high level suddenly become unbeatable. why?:

We know why, but I refuse to just blame America because there were also runners from Europe that would suddenly develop muscle and start winning at the Olympics and World Champs but would lose to Jamaicans consistently in the regular grand prix events...cycling off?

My sentiments are shared by many as noted by another commenter on espn: "
JDH07504 (15 minutes ago)
Report Violation

The first clean Olympics since the Cold War and now JAMAICA has finally been given a chance to shine. In their first Olympics in 1948 Jamaica a tiny British Colony won The gold and silver in the men's 400m.

In 1952 The Country again won gold and silver in the men's 400m AND Won the mile relay in a new world record beating the United States. What drug programme did this little "backward" colony have in 1948? How did they manage to conquer the world in 1948 and beat the Great United States and their British Colonial Masters? They did it again in 1952"

The history of cheating by certain industrial nations is long and clear and contains amusing stories like; a certain female champ that could not make the 1984 finals, retired, took a job in banking, came back to track, suddenly set records like crazy and then died young under unusual circumstances while gaining incredible muscle over a short time.

I quote from an article: "Olympic legend Carl Lewis is among more than 100 American athletes involved in a cover-up of drug use, documents reveal"

You could do research (and by research I mean 2 seconds on google) and see how many top athletes have been busted but for now I will just use the words of a commenter from espn responding with outrage to an American commenter suggesting that for Jamaicans to now be winning they must be doping:

"GATLIN, MARION JONES, MICHELLE COLLINS, JEROME YOUNG, PETTIGREW, TORRI EDWARDS, The twins who ran 400m alvin and calvin harrison, kelly white, dennis mitchell and many more. all PROVEN CHEATS. plus CARL LEWIS tested positive 3 times but it was covered up by ustfa."

That is a who's who of American names, hell Edwards just ran in the 200 (you might not know for sure since she ended up completely out of the photo finish pix) and many a Jamaican is still bitter about Marion Jones' robbing Ottey of GOLD!

The only guy who popped positive in our Trials grew up in America and lives in America and had no shot of posting a good time in the Olympics anyway...kind of points to why he might be on the juice. Note also the Jamaican federation took no chances with him and made him stay home!

And I am damn tired of this move: When a Jamaican running for Canada, Britain or America wins they are listed as the American champ, if they pop positive for anything they suddenly become "JAMAICAN BORN sprinter"...if you own them as champs own them as cheats, because we certainly do not shy away from our people!

Look I am not saying that other countries cannot win without steroids...I am just saying...JAMAICA TO DI WURL!

Happy Birthday

Kami and Kamau!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Spanish racism rears its ugly head again!

Ok in the grand scheme of things, the pictures of the Spanish team 'slanting' their eyes is not the worst thing! Problem is, when you realize that it is the Spanish team, it seems so much worse. This is the same country that chants 'Monkey' at black football player, that rains Racial abuse on Lewis Hamilton every time he drives there, and the same damn country whose former national coach used a racist remark about Thierry Henry as "MOTIVATION" to one of his players!

Forgive me if I cannot see the light side of things when this country has made a sport of racism!

The pix are here for you to make your own decisions but I suspect that while not all the team is racist, they all showed such extraordinary bad judgment that they should be ashamed of themselves...instead they are going around defending their actions.

A little dark humour to reflect my mood!

The CIA was once recruiting new candidates for special missions. The final 3 Candidates were a Jamaican an American and a Canadian. To weed out who would be best for risky special ops the CIA called them in one by one the Canadian came in first: "Congrats you have made it to the final stage, the only thing left for you to become an agent is to take this gun go inside and kill the 2 people in the waiting room." The Canadian looked at the gun and said, "Oh no I cannot do that, dontcha know that is wrong. Goodbye eh" He then walked out.

The American was called in next and given the instructions, he looked at the gun looked at the CIA rep and shook his head saying "Man y'all are crazy no way can I do that."

The Jamaican was called in next, he looked at the gun reluctantly after receiving the message slowly picked it up and walked out. There was silence for ages then some shouting, some yelling a commotion sounded, the reps from the CIA rushed out to the waiting room. There they found the Jamaican with a torn shirt breathing heavily and a vexed look upon his face and the Canadian and American dead at his feet.

He looked up at the CIA reps and in a disappointed voice said "Dread, the gun unuu gave mi never have nuh bullets so mi haffi beat them over the head with it and fling some chair till the boy them stop when do I start the job?"

Not the greatest joke, bit macabre but such is the way I feel after reading that 125 persons were killed in July and that is actually a DECREASE in the murder rate for back home!

Sand A, says I should put the murder rate in context so let me try: San Diego County and Jamaica have a similar population size. It is considered a gruesome year in SD if there are 40 murders for the whole year. If Jamaica had a month of only 40 murders we would probably have to have a national holiday!

Monday, August 11, 2008

Happy Birthday


R.I.P. Bernie Mac, R.I.P. Isaac Hayes

Bernard Jeffrey McCullough (October 5, 1957 – August 9, 2008)

Man I will miss Bernie Mac, he was one funny "mother (shut yo mouth)"
The man was an artist with the use of the word motherfu@$er, he used it like a samurai used a blade, and to prove my point, watch the video.

And if you disagree, I will "bust yo head to the white meat"

Isaac Lee Hayes, Jr. (August 20, 1942 – August 10, 2008)
Peeps prolly just think of him as the theme song to Shaft and the voice of Chef, but really he meant so much more to soul music.

And if you disagree, "Suck on my chocolate salty balls" and take the "SHAFT...damn right"

If I were Samuel L. Jackson, and a suspicious man, I would be careful, very careful for the next 3 days if you believe 'death comes in threes' to explain let me add this from Hayes' wiki page:

"During the spring of 2008, Hayes shot scenes for a comedy about soul musicians inspired by the history of Stax Records entitled Soul Men, in which he will appear as himself in a supporting role. Soul Men stars Samuel L. Jackson and Bernie Mac, who coincidentally would die the day before Hayes in August 2008. [23] The film is scheduled for release in November 2008"

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Brett Favre traded to the Jets

So says Fox Sports Radio...

Now time to see if Aaron Rodgers can actually play a full season for Green Bay, I suspect alot of disappointment will be felt in GB this year

Paris Hilton actually had a pretty funny political ad

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

I find it hard to believe, but, I liked it...

Monday, August 04, 2008

Banned Calvin Klein, Eva Mendes Ad

At about the 16 second mark you see why the ad is banned in America.
This almost seems like Calvin Klein set this up hoping for the hype around the ban, because there is no way they could have expected this ad to clear US censors!

Seems to me, Eva Mendes spends more time getting naked for magazines and ads than acting anymore...

As usual, you have to ask the question: "Does a nipple a breast make?"

Sunday, August 03, 2008

"Braves Win! Braves Win!" longer: R.I.P. Skip Caray

The longtime voice of the Atlanta Braves (my favorite baseball team) and the person that helped me learn to understand and love baseball, has died. Skip Caray (son to Harry) died today. While he had been ill for the past few years, I do not think peeps expected him to die so suddenly.

If you watched baseball on TBS, growing up, his voice is extremely familiar to you, and if you were/are a Braves fan, hearing this "Braves Win! Braves Win!" coming from Skip was always awesome.

TBS sadly no longer broadcasts Braves' games on a regular basis which I find extremely sad since millions of kids will not be indoctrinated to the joy that is the team of the ATL and join the cult of 'America's team'. I will miss hearing Skip's voice, he made Baseball extremely fun for me and made it come alive to a young boy who would stay up all hours of the night to listen to West Indies cricket on the radio.

I would watch baseball till 9.30 or so, sometimes later if my parents would let me, then I would go of to my room and secretly stay up half the night listening to the Windies beat up on some poor team silly enough to play us in Test cricket...those were the days...the Braves dominated the NL east, and the Windies could not lose...I miss Viv Richards as captain.

Friday, August 01, 2008

Pre-season coaches poll has dropped

Georgia is #1, USC 2, OSU #3 (damn sooners) OU is 4th TEXAS LONGHORNS are #10.

Since the hype is there for OU I have to admit there are few things I like more than whipping OU when they are ranked above us. (Beating them has not happened much in the last 10 years, but it will come).

I had to include this vid, a poster on B.O.N. who posted it asked this question: "Is it too late to return Oklahoma to the Native Americans?" After watching this video I think the NA's might not want it back:

I love B.O.N. I know I know, you should never get your news from a source you completely agree with, but I cannot help it. To quote B.O.N. as a pre-empt to this Aggie jab (cause I still hate them, even if they are pretty much irrelevant now) "(One more) reason why friends don't let friends go to Texas A&M.":

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Scrabulous finally blocked (disabled) for good?

Because of my insomnia and my addiction to word games and books (I finished a novel tonight in just 3 hours because I could not put it down and I could not sleep), I logged on to facebook (is it really logging on if your sign in is permanently imprinted?) and entered my scrabulous game. I finally managed to win a game against Mukund (with a spectacular end game - pat on own back) clicked on 'next game' and received this message: Scrabulous is disabled for US and Canadian users until further notice. If you would like to stay informed about developments in this matter, please click here.

Something tells me it has a lot to do with this!

Kind of sucks since I have heard nothing but bad things about the 'new' official Scrabble app added to Facebook. Oh well, forced rehab might be good for me.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

What the hell WNBA?

Look I know you are a new league, that no one really pays attention to, but, that does not mean you have to hand down crap for suspensions. And just because you are a female-league does not mean you should punish a male coach unnecessarily harshly, and harder than a girl who SUCKER PUNCHED HIM!!!

Look, the video and most peeps at the event say he was not trying to push Lisa Leslie, she was rushing at him, he had his hands up she ran into a massive man, she fell backwards, and you suspend him for 2 games??? Meanwhile the chick that sucker punched him in his back, receives only a 1 game suspension?? Wow, way to show you are a true crap league.

If he had actually attacked one of the girls I would have said throw the book at him, give him 15 games, but people who threw punches like Candace Parker one of the INSTIGATORS got single game suspensions.

You are a stupid league (there I said it, tired of being PC), a league that thrives at the mercy of the NBA. Most peeps only support you because everyone feels guilty if they do not show at least a modicum of support for womens' athletics. 9 out of 10 fans (made up stat) would prefer to watch womens' college basketball before your 'professional' league. So while you are handing down crap suspensions, how about you just suspend the whole damn league and leave more time for baseball on my tv?

And if anyone doubts my view that you are a crap league: A 50 year old was just signed to a contract! Nancy Lieberman was just signed by the Shock!

Now of course I have brought down the value of the blog, WNBA posts more than once in a single month...uh oh.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

WNBA brawl = relevancy for 15 minutes.

First things first, I had no idea the WNBA season had even started! I know I say this every year, but unless something happens to let me see a game on TV (like accidentally stumbling on a game) I never know when the damn season is on (not that I am ever looking for it).

Anyway, there was a huge brawl in the WNBA tonight...and of course all of a sudden the WNBA is mentioned on Sports radio. Thing is, no one mentions any highlights or about any of the other games that were played, the brawl was the last 5 seconds of the game and that is all anyone cares about.

Let us be honest, if the NBA itself was not so insanely successful, the WNBA would be DEAD! That league cannot sustain itself! I can pretty much name the starting 5 of any team in the NBA, I cannot name 5 girls total in the WNBA, and this is a league that sports TEXAS players and I still cannot name them.

Anyway, peeps are over-reacting that one of the male coaches may or may not have shoved one of the 'ladies' during the brawl. What is clear, is that he was trying to protect one of his players who was in the melee, if he did shove Lisa Leslie, so be it. I do not think he was trying to 'attack' a woman and I do not think he was intentionally at any point trying to hurt a woman. I believe that he was doing the rational thing which is trying to defend himself in a natural manner (Without throwing a punch) because she THREW A PUNCH AT HIM! Look if she is going to attack him as if she is a man, he has every right to defend himself to the best of his ability. I am just so happy he did not punch her (because that would be harder to defend) because even if he were in the right he would 'forever be in the wrong'.

--Pushing someone backwards in a brawl is natural, whether they are male or female

Bloody funny that this fight occurred in Detroit, the sight of the last major Bball brawl, and that Rick Mahorn is again involved as a 'peacemaker'

Crappy video for now, I am sure someone will upload a better one but as a commenter on youtube said "Who the hell DVRs a WNBA game?"

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

I miss you too much for this to be safe...vol 1.435

I miss you,
You were so good to me. When others forsook me, you were there. You were often with me when nothing else would soothe. When I could not eat in the mornings, you were there.

You were amazing on my lips. So soft, so smooth so sweet. You caressed my lips, you were gentle on my tongue. Yes too much of you could initially give me a quick headache, but you were instantly forgiven and you always soothed my head. When sore, I could hold you to my chest and you would make things feel ok.

It has been 5 weeks and I have not had you. I am wrecked without you. I am lost without you. I find myself, trying to find substitutes for you. Cookies, cakes, vague hook ups, transgressions...I have strayed.

I have found myself making Kool-Aid because of you! KOOL AID? I miss your sugar, so now I have craved sugar. I am trying to lose weight and you have me drinking kool-aid. I had not made Kool-aid since I was a teenager.

I love you, I think I have to come back to you, this has been a miserable break. Maybe I can take you in small doses? Maybe I can control myself around you? Can I trust myself to have you back in my house?

We were together for 26 years. I was wrong to abandon you, so what if you were bad for my diet, what are wash board abs if I am lonely at night?

I want you back, I miss cream!

Obama, New Yorker Cover...

Ok let us get this out off the bat: I love satire, I love when peeps push the envelope, I do not think this is one of those times!

The New Yorker magazine decided to put up a cartoon on its cover with Barack and his wife fist bumping while the American flag burns in the fireplace. Obama is in Muslim garb, his wife is wearing an Afro (note she does not have one in real life), and camo clothing, with an Ak-47 on her back and spare ammo, in the background is a portrait of America's #1 enemy Osama bin-Laden.

The NY'er is defending its decision by releasing this press release: "“On the cover of the July 21, 2008, issue of The New Yorker, in ‘The Politics of Fear,’ artist Barry Blitt satirizes the use of scare tactics and misinformation in the presidential election to derail Barack Obama’s campaign.”
(wanted to make sure their statement was in there)

Look it is all well and good to do satire, but come on, on your front cover, you put up that sensational image, it was there to provoke but the problem is, in this climate where so many see Barack and his wife as the Anti-american candidate (and if you doubt me, look at the protests of his speech here in San Diego) putting something like that on the cover not only sparks debate (which is good) it re-enforces stereotypes...BAD!

Come on, was it necessary to give his wife an Afro, to have them fist bump? Why put Obama the non-muslim in full garb? And of course to re-enforce the muslim = bad and osama = obama mindset, let us just throw a picture of Obama in the background and burn the flag!

Look racism is still prevalent in America, no matter how much peeps want to pretend it is not and sweep it under the rug. A cover that makes Obama out to be a threat to the country and his wife a BLACK PANTHER (because trust me, that is the image that comes across, especially to the older-voting demographic that he so desperately needs) is irresponsible and does not come across as satire.

Again, why re-enforce the fears that some harbor? Why could you not put this in an EDITORIAL?

I read somewhere that 15% of the country thinks Obama is muslim, thanks NY'er for re-enforcing that. And this is even after the Rev. Wright controversy. Look we all know many people are stupid, hell some of my own friends are stupid (they are not close), why help their close-mindedness by making him look muslim? Since we know that America is not ready for a Muslim president?

As a commenter on noted, The New Yorker would never have taken the chance to put a cartoon of John Mccain on the cover as a Slave owner, or a Redneck gun toter, but Obama was fair game like this?

Shame on you New Yorker, what could have been a social commentary is now just a blatant attempt to sell magazines

I like this alternate cover that was proposed via The Dish Rag By Elizabeth Snead that I found on La

Sorry the blog has become so political, you know it is all about what I like, and right now I like politics!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Eddie Murphy to retire from films for Stand Up?

Look I think Eddie's movies get a bad rap! But, damn I really, really, really want him to get back into doing stand up. So if it means I never have to see another Eddie Murphy fat suit, I am cool with the loss.

Eddie in an interview hinted that Beverly Hills Cop IV might be his last movie!
"Thirty years and I have close to 50 movies and it is like, `Why am I in the movies? I've done that part now.'

"I'll go back to the stage and do stand-up."

I never got to see Richard Pryor live, but know this, if I get a chance to go see Eddie, I am definitely going.

I love his explanation for making B H C 3 (kind of sounds like what he would say in a stand up routine): "The (third) movie wasn't ready to be done and they (producers) wrote some s**t down on paper and I said, `Is this

your phone number?' and they said, `This is how much we're going to pay you.'

"I said, `Let's go shoot it! I don't care if the script ain't right.'"--Source IMDB quoting WENN who were quoting Eddie's interview on one of those damn evening Entertainment shows that all seem the same and for some reason I was actually watching at the time...nearly fell out of my seat, I was so happy.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Obama inspires another rap song!

In light of the Jesse Jackson statements this week, I figured I would post a 'fairly' funny vid re Obama. (In the interest of full disclosure I should say I did not make it all the way to the end of the vid, before I switched over to listening to AMG's classic "better have my money")

I found it entertaining that he rapped over the 'a millie' beat, that would make it about the millionth track on that beat. Heck I even have one. But that stays hidden...for now!

Something tells me the Johnny Mc, vids are not going to be as forthcoming from the hip hop generation.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

manny pacquiao beats Diaz....a new CHAMP is here!

(found this in my blog drafts I suspect the death of K.G. is what made me hesitate to post this at the time I wrote it ---it was rough, but I did not bother to clean it up, have fun)

I was actually adjusting my watch to head out to the bar to go see the PPV fight of Manny Pacquiao v David Diaz, only to realize that the Mexican station that I pick up from Tecate had the fight on??? Initially they were just showing the undercard so I thought "probably will not show the main event then the announcer said "Pacquiao de Philippines" he said alot more but "yo necessito practicar mi espanol mucho" and if that sentence is wrong...then it has made its point.

I had always thought this station was some boot-leg station and I still think it is, but whatever, it just saved me having to go to a bar and paying to see the fight. Big deal if I understand every 5th word, I probably would not have heard anything in the bar anyway and this way I am not tempted to drink at all.

The Spanish broadcast is using its own ring-girls: muy caliente. See I am getting into the spirit of it.
(When does the announcer scream GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! Really? not in boxing? Damn!)

A man in the crowd has a sing reading, "Pac-Man, Marry Me!" Hmm?

Manny is just tattooing David, there is no way this fight goes 12 o doce (I hope you get my punto)

Both fighters seem to respect each other, Diaz certainly respects Manny's jab, he has seen so much of it.

If I keep watching will I learn spanish?

I think Manny is winning every round, the Spanish announcers agree with me (they said it + they showed the graphic so I do not have to guess that I got what they said right).
[post fight I checked all the judges agreed with me too]

Damn Manny landed a right hook that made me jump, and I am sitting at home, this fight is not going the distance. Props to David for being up this long, this is 6 rounds in and he looked dead on his feet in rounds 4 and 5

Looks like they are trying to use Superglue to close that wound

Has there been another Asian fighter that gets as much love as Pacquiao? I have been raving about him since I first saw him fit at 106, to give an idea how long ago that was, he is about to become the champ at 135 and has won at every level coming up.

With Mayweather out, I suspect he is the new lb for lb king.

Doc checks eye- says go on
Doc checks eye...looks a little more carefully, says go on...doc looks around to make sure promoter is cool...says go on (ok maybe the last part did not happen, but seriously the doc only looks like he is just inspecting for show)

The cut looks ugly, only thing that can rival it in size is the grand canyon.

Diaz is going to go down, there is no doubt he is going...oh damn, he just got knocked out. The ref did not even bother to count, he just declared the fight over.

- I like that Manny first checked on Diaz before celebrating shows concern and respect, props to Manny.

This is not fight of the year, actually Manny's last fight so far is. (versus Marquez, it was closer and no domination by either boxer) But, this gets props for being a clinic on how to decimate an opponent.

Went from boxing into an infomercial about hair extensions look I can barely understand what they are saying, but I love this infomercial. Many peeps know my shameful secret that I love infomercials, they are funny even when u cannot understand them - I loved them in Florence!

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Kamau Graham's Funeral

is Saturday, July 12, 2008 at 10am at the UWI Chapel. Interment follows at Dovecot.
- -No floral tributes.

To all those located back home, who can go, please go and support the family and friends.
If one can say there is any good to come from a funeral, it is the fact that we can go and celebrate life by seeing many whom we have lost touch with. Go give someone a hug, or a pound or just a head knock, but just go!

Kamau was a member of the Campion College class of 1995 but he touched many more than just his classmates.

R.I.P. Kamau.

Thanks to Mario and Kamau F. for sending me the funeral details.
(Sorry I took so long to post I was out of town)

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Something to lighten the mood, plus as a fan of Jamaican track I cannot help taking shots at Carl Lewis

Carl Lewis was shocked that peeps suspected he was gay? Look I think a man can act feminine and not be gay, after is that not why we have the term effeminate? Of course though, at the same time that is too often a means of trying to demean a man. I think the big issue was that peeps just did not like Carl and looked for any means to discredit him. And back then (sadly even now) throwing the gay card is a strong means of bringing down a celebrity.

Peeps are too quick to throw out the gay tag, but this vid could not have helped his 'standing'. Trust me watch the whole video, it will make you laugh. Whomever did his makeup was definitely an enemy of his!

Carl Sings the US National Anthem
This moment was great, because it was actually before a Bulls game and Jordan is openly laughing at Carl and shaking his head. Look at players trying to hide their faces!

I guess if I am clowning National Anthem performances this has to be it was done in SD

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

California Hands-free law takes effect today!

The new cell phone law
goes into effect for Cali today. Remember starting today, to talk on your cell phone while driving a car you must use a hands-free kit or risk a ticket.

Figured I would share this picture that I have gotten in countless emails as the Jamaican Hands Free Cell phone. If you take close note you will see it will save you money on traditional hands-free services.

(Plus the last few days have been so grim, I figured a decent laugh could never hurt)

Happy Birthday

Swiffer Sheet V!

Thanks for staying on the phone with me for my cookie run. I am thinking the 2 miles round trip helped to burn of at least 2 of the 6 cookies!

Friday, June 27, 2008

Father Forgive them! R.I.P. Kamau G.

One of my friends and colleagues from High School (Campion) has passed away. I do not know all the details, I do not even know exactly when his death occurred. What I do know is that I have lost another person that made my life better when I was a young one, and made the lives of others richer.

He was always smiling, he was a great chap. From the Pagoda to scrimmage to just shooting the breeze, waiting in the parking lot.

Like many of my friends whom I did not stay in contact with after high school (mainly because I left Jamaica) my image of him is always in Khaki uniforms. I can see it now, shirt slight ruffled because a whole day of school has gone through, everyone jostling each other, yelling out "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" when someone trips. There was nothing but joy back in high school. Even death was fleeting, we lost a friend our last year of school and we just celebrated their life and did not dwell on the pain. But now that I have gotten older, death hits me harder. I realize that, it is actually something I cannot stop, it creeps towards me. As I heard a couple weeks ago "Life is a terminal illness."

Kamau was always in my mind, incredibly strong. He was fast, I mean 'do not bother racing him, he will kick your ass' fast. When someone whom I can only remember as the epitome of fitness and vitality passes in a sudden shocking manner, it is hard to believe because all I can remember them as is living life to its utmost.

My friend Derrick said this as we were exchanging shock about the news:
"In my opinion people need to stop dying.

Don't die Aaron."

I love Derrick, he knows the best things to say. It put a smile on my face and reminded me, to just keep on living, and come what may...don't die!

I'm sure I could with time, sit down and write a better blog, a better memorial, but then it would never be as true as this one is, and never be as raw as this one feels right now. I miss the kid. I hate that my friends have to die. I know that they must, I know that we all must. I know I will. And when my time comes, may I face it with dignity. But for now, I must mourn another friend. I must say a prayer for his family, and I must face the shocking reality that I did not stay as close in touch with him as I should have.

Father, forgive me!

To all my other friends, I pray for you, I pray for your health, I hope we all live to the age where we can look back and talk about "When I was young we used to do this..."

Rest In Peace, Kamau Graham!

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Norbrook Massive STAND UP! Rep your hood...and all sorts of slang that sounds funny coming from 'The brook'

Look, I acknowledge that Norbrook is filled with rich socialites and politicians. I acknowledge that much of the power of Jamaica is concentrated in the various Upper Saint Andrew districts. I humbly acknowledge that I was lucky to spend some of my formative years living in Norbrook (thanks to the Father above, and the Father on earth, we have been blessed).

And if there was ever any doubt that Norbrook considered itself upper-crust, and wanted to make sure it stayed that way, one would only have to look to the fact that the party 'Contagious' scheduled for Friday in Norbrook has been canceled: I now quote from this article on RJR's website

"Mayor of Kingston Desmond McKenzie said the decision followed numerous complaints from the police and residents who also filed a petition requesting that no further licences be granted for the staging of these dances and parties in the up-scale residential area."
---Sure anyone cared about the police requests.

"Mayor McKenzie said the KSAC will not be issuing any more licences for the staging of any such events in this area."
--Hahah a whole neighborhood has been purged of parties in one fell swoop...hmm sounds like some pressure was put upon the Mayor. I am sure it has nothing to do with the fact that in that same neighborhood there are peeps that dominate the radio waves (not even talking bout my own pops, he shares his grievances in private), or the fact that 2 former Prime ministers have homes there. Nothing to do with the heads of 3 banks living on the main road. And nothing to do with the fact that almost every house there has a minimum of 2 cars and if only 2 are present one must be a luxury vehicle! Hell, my neighbor is an Ambassador, 3 doors down is a High Commissioner, and 2 blocks down is his mistress!

I hate to say it, and I am pretty sure it has a lot to do with my breeding and where I grew up, (the Golden Triangle, then 'The Brook') but a few years ago I went back home and there was a party in the 'hood and I was shocked to see 'certain persons' walking through the area: Now note, I did not judge these persons, I was actually attending the very same party, but I was shocked because I remember a time when peeps would call the police to chase 'undesirables' out of the neighborhood.

It is honestly funny to me the power and cockiness of the Norbrook neighborhood, a neighborhood that I knew NOTHING about until the moment my parents decided to go house shopping when I was a kid...shows just how little I cared back then (and now, though now u have to say it to believe it) about power and privilege. I had no idea that to own a house in Norbrook was supposed to be a rich thing---even now I still doubt it, but this article makes it harder to swallow.

Imagine a whole suburban area here in America saying "we are too good to have parties here, do it in another area", because believe me, that is exactly what happened.

To close, I remember chuckling once when a neighbor ranted to me about parties and "people who live in apartments" moving into Norbrook: "That shit might be fine in ghettos like Cherry Gardens but this is Norbrook". I almost choked on my Red Stripe to hear this man call Cherry Gardens ghetto. For my San Diego friends, Cherry Gardens would be like La Jolla...nothing to sneeze at!

Yup (soon to be ex-wife), this is what you have to look forward to when we visit

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.