Infrequently updated consistently funny

Thursday, August 14, 2008

A little dark humour to reflect my mood!

The CIA was once recruiting new candidates for special missions. The final 3 Candidates were a Jamaican an American and a Canadian. To weed out who would be best for risky special ops the CIA called them in one by one the Canadian came in first: "Congrats you have made it to the final stage, the only thing left for you to become an agent is to take this gun go inside and kill the 2 people in the waiting room." The Canadian looked at the gun and said, "Oh no I cannot do that, dontcha know that is wrong. Goodbye eh" He then walked out.

The American was called in next and given the instructions, he looked at the gun looked at the CIA rep and shook his head saying "Man y'all are crazy no way can I do that."

The Jamaican was called in next, he looked at the gun reluctantly after receiving the message slowly picked it up and walked out. There was silence for ages then some shouting, some yelling a commotion sounded, the reps from the CIA rushed out to the waiting room. There they found the Jamaican with a torn shirt breathing heavily and a vexed look upon his face and the Canadian and American dead at his feet.

He looked up at the CIA reps and in a disappointed voice said "Dread, the gun unuu gave mi never have nuh bullets so mi haffi beat them over the head with it and fling some chair till the boy them stop when do I start the job?"

Not the greatest joke, bit macabre but such is the way I feel after reading that 125 persons were killed in July and that is actually a DECREASE in the murder rate for back home!

Sand A, says I should put the murder rate in context so let me try: San Diego County and Jamaica have a similar population size. It is considered a gruesome year in SD if there are 40 murders for the whole year. If Jamaica had a month of only 40 murders we would probably have to have a national holiday!

1 comment:

Abeni said...

40 a year will be worthy of 2 national holidays.Make that a week of celebration

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.