Infrequently updated consistently funny

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Talked to my ex for 1hour and 28 minutes and country music was illuminating. I actually enjoyed the conversation and it made me realize we do not talk enough...which of course is part of why we are exes. Anyway on to the Hodge-podge:

- I have been working out like a fiend, I discovered that I have gained 42lbs since last July. Everyone who hears it says "That is because you were comfortable" that is just an overly nice way of saying "You let yourself go". The fault is mine, it is nice to blame others but the fault is mine, just because others do not like the gym, does not mean I can then sit on my butt knowing that since I do not diet, I have to work out.

- Because of the weight gain, I have been busting my ass in the gym, and I am paying for it. I now have a horrible case of plantar fasciitis. It is so bad, that stepping out of bed causes severe pain. I cannot run, I cannot even walk on the treadmill, no elliptical, the only thing I can do cardio wise is spinning which leads me to:

- 3 Out of 4 of my spinning instructors this week played COUNTRY MUSIC...look I like maybe even love country music in small doses and I know it is bloody popular, but it was extraordinary to me to hear it so often used in a situation where I am used to hearing pop music, rap, or techno.

One of the instructors more than half the music was country, it really is hard to work up a lather when hearing about a girl leaving someone (yup I am generalizing the music).

The one however that cracked me up the most, played country music, then followed it with Justin Bieber (hope I got that right, I am too lazy to look it up), the thing is I was so damn happy to not hear country any more, I found myself bobbing along and enjoying the song, whereas normally when I hear that song, I put it out of my mind.

- It is summer time in Hermosa, yup, I know in the rest of the world it is still Spring, but for is SUMMER and I am loving it!

- Of course now that I am 42lbs over-weight, maybe I should not enjoy the summer so much.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

My plumber jacked some beers

I have barely spent any time in my apartment, especially my kitchen which is my favourite place, because there is so much work being done on the plumbing of the place. All the pipes were replaced the dry wall was ripped apart, the shower removed ( I lost 5lbs last week because I have had to shower at the gym and if I am at the gym I might as well work out) the toilet was gone for a day...the water coming through the taps tastes chemically so I have been brushing my teeth with bottled water everything has been sucky for the last week...and I deal with all of that and have not complained to the workers here.

BUT, I think they have taken my kindness for weakness because I just noticed that in my stash of cheap beers (I actually keep a stash for cooking eg. Beer battered shrimp) there is a dent. Yup, the plumbers have been taking/drinking from my private stash. To be honest I do not even care that much except for the fact that everything is days behind bloody schedule. I am beginning to think that the reason nothing can get done is because they are DRUNK!

Every day when I come home to check on things, nothing seems to have moved. If I stay in the house for lunch, I see activity going on. If I just quietly slip in, no one seems to be working. And that leads to another issue, I leave my keys for the workers with the understanding that they lock up when not in the house, they are working on multiple units, so when they are not in mine it is supposed to be locked. Yet last Friday I came home from court, sat in the house for 20 minutes and nobody even realized I was there - then a new worker who I had never seen and who does not know me, walked in looked at me and did not say anything even though I had a laptop in my hand...thanks for keeping my place secure.

Had a good phone call tonight, kind of cleansing

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.