Infrequently updated consistently funny

Sunday, January 25, 2009

When grown men cry...vol 3.5336

I am not the crying type, do not do it at funerals, do not do it at weddings, sad movies anything. My bro does not shed tears either, and nor does the other male companion at the dinner. Forgive my sexism here for not listing the women but the post is titled "when grown men cry".

I made some jerk seasoning last night, the flavor was amazing but "oh my goodness, oh no, oh no oh no"...those are words that were echoed all night as tears poured from eyes as sweat sprung from my brow. My heart literally felt like it stopped (I think it might have). My bro had to walk outside into the cold air, our friend started gasping and doubled over in pain, and I, the Cali Jamaican, the man who created the meal, ran to the refrigerator poured a tall glass of milk and started gargling with it. I had made the spiciest jerk chicken and shrimp meal I have ever made in my life.

The pepper literally had me screaming, thank goodness we were out in the woods of Malibu. I have never experienced heat like that. It gave me instant hiccups and I could not stop the eyes from 'bleeding'.

The craziest part is that Sarah sat serenely across from us just staring at us as if nothing was wrong. I thought I was 2 steps away from death, and Sarah was in Oliver Twist mode "please sir can I have some more".

We killed a couple bottles of wine, a whole bottle of vodka, almost half a container of soy milk and tonnes of cups of water and I still feel as if my body is on fire. It is now 24 hours later and I am still haunted by the fire of it. The best part is, it tasted so damn good that we kept eating the food, even though we were suffering.

On a brighter or should it be lighter note, my scallops were judged "perfect" I was so damn happy. I always find scallops so damn challenging to make, they are so finicky. But I broiled them with some sea salt, garlic, ginger, sugar, olive oil and fresh cracked pepper and they just seemed to take the 'perfect' level of flavor.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Oakland Seethes Over Police Shooting

Oakland Seethes Over Police Shooting

Whew what a way to return to blogging, I was going to make my first blog of the new year my rant against my mistreatment by Air Jamaica ( I will still get to that) but this is more important.

Strange to me that you never seem to hear about 'accidental' shootings of white men. The accompanying videos are graphic, and even for those desensitized by video game violence you might have a 'gasp moment'

As noted by Shehryar (thanks for letting me know the updates) if there had not been video for this, it might have been just "another average story no one hears about"

I do not know why the cop found it necessary to draw a piece, (some say he thought it was a Tazer, I thought he might have drawn the gun to intimidate) what I do know is that once you draw a weapon of any sort you better be damn careful with it...he was not!

http://cbs5.com/video/?id=44043@kpix.dayport.com
The link shows the video from one angle. They seemed to have the guy under control, there does not seem to be a reason for the gun/taser (if he thought he was pulling that).

Let me address the Taser v Gun thing...Do you not know the difference between a gun and a Taser? Do they not have different handles, look, feel and Safeties?

I thought that cops were supposed to be more and more reluctant to reach for Tasers? And are you supposed to Taser someone who is face down with another cops knee on their neck?



A 22 year old man, face down shot in the back, sounds like a damn execution...if one did not know that the cops were involved you would think it were a gang style killing!

Note that one of the persons who took the video wants to remain anonymous...think he fears reprisals from the cops?

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.