Infrequently updated consistently funny

Monday, January 31, 2005

Radio love songs!

Ever notice that when you are going through a rough emotional period every song on the radio seems to be aimed at you, or have a message for you in there somewhere?

Whats up with all these invitations to join SMS networks? Is everyone now desperate to get in touch with everyone else and just have not found the ability to dial the # on the cell phone rather than punching the message out on the keypad?

Saturday, January 29, 2005

Votes and drinks

So bar review was cool tonight: gotta love the fact that my Promotion company LIT promotions was conspicuous by their absence. Oh well I held down the fort and partied in PB…yes that Was me rocking out to the heavy metal band. Big ups to All the peeps that tried to buy me drinks I’m sure you preferred the free drink tickets that I gave you in place of having u buy me a drink. Big ups to Ryan and Tyler for the party it was great to have somewhere to go after bar review. Baybee you knew I couldn’t finish a blog w/o a mention of the fact that some people do like to Gobble up all the shrimp that they can get. To the 1L that asked If I hated her. The answer is NO. There is not enough time in life to go through it hating people. To my bartender tonight: I love you girl! You know that u have drunk too much when you Realize that the amount you have spent in tipping out the bartender for free drinks is more than you would have spent if you had bought premium drinks throughout the night. Oh well its prolly worth it, I have a good feeling that everyone I gave a free drink to will probably vote for me when (and yes its official) I run for SBA president. Seriously though Canes needs to Limit the amount of free drinks they make available to me. I reek of alcohol: isn’t that how every good night should end. By the way, if you are a reader of my site and dont like it, thats fine, KISS MY ASS you can quit reading anytime dont comment and tell me to get off the net when you obviously are a follower of the site.

Friday, January 28, 2005

Word of advice!

Not the first or last word I will give, but this one I am compelled to give. If you're a white guy in a hip hop club and your only backative is your girlfriend it is extremely unwise to call the 250lb black guy with his equally big friend a “nigger”. Especially not the angry buzzed black guy. I have not seen a man run that fast while still holding on to a girls hand in awhile. Those black guys looked like two freight trains and u thought all 170lbs or so of you could take ‘em? Did u really think that once the word got around the ‘black crowd’ that the club would be the spot for u to dance? Oh well your incident did serve to let me hear a fun line: Black guy with a neck bigger than a telephone; “ Man I’m the Philadelphia defense that white boy is a running back did you see him run? I’m Jeremiah Trotter, I eat them fools” Finally a couple of apologies and shout outs: To all those I laughed at for working with those big inflated exercise balls; My bad it's harder than it looks: To the September birthday bus crew I know its 5 months late but big ups to all; My bad on the delay: Finally to -?- yeh that really sucks "FU©K the POLICE" NWA.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

First day of the rest of your life

Not a big fan of that slogan; maybe cause it seems so trite. After all it is also one day closer to death. So anyway, cognizant of the fact that I am getting older and need to take better care of myself I have rejoined the gym and have faithfully being going for all of 3 days. Sadly in those 3 days I have lost 5 pounds. (sadly because that shows how much water weight I had been rolling around with) Of course giving blood day 2 probably helped in the weight loss. So now it’s the first day of the rest of my life. I intend to get back to what I used to be: A fit energetic student, able to leap 2 books in a single bound and pass through a doorway without turning sideways. Seriously though the eye candy at the gym is crazy, but I have decided to follow a path of enlightenment when at the gym and just concentrate on the workout plus it’s not like I’m rolling to the gym accompanied by chopped liver, I carry my own eye candy with me, yes WB I just set back the cause of womanhood and called you eye-candy.

Bad boys bad boys!

I got pulled over by a cop tonight right infront of my apartment complex. Apparently I pulled out of USD and turned right on a red without stopping. Yes even at 11pm one should obey every minute detail of the traffic law. The ironic thing is that on my way into school I thought about sending to Texas for the car's title since registration renewal time is coming up and as luck would have it when the cop asked me for my registration I could not find it. Also since I had just gone to the gym and had only stopped by school to drop off a book I didnt have my driver's license but I had a photo copy of it that the gym had made for me and that was good enough for the cop (thanks 24 hour fitness and all your rules). Anyway after thinking that I would surely get a compounded ticket the cop laughs at the pic on my license (if you have ever seen the license u would know why - if you want to see it Im more than happy to produce the license for your enjoyment)runs my plates forgets that I cant find my registration tells me to be careful and sends me along on my merry way. Pretty nice of him, though I do wonder why a second cop car was called as backup?

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

"Pick up the phone!"

"Cause you want this call, you other brothers cant deny " Sir Mix-a-lot is back. Of course he’s back on the scene with a ring tone. So that damn jamster company has another ad to clog my TV time with. On my list of annoyances that one is up there right now (as well as all their damn cell phone ads), being unable to hold a pen easily is up there and that annoying horn that runs through the length of the J-lo song is definitely annoying. I wonder if it will grow on me like the squeaking sound in the Ciara song goodies (the background sound not her voice). So the team lost last night but that was because the star player was out with an injury. We will dominate next week after all it’s the lowly section C team. We will make them our bias. We will not lose to a team wearing pink, even if we have to take out some of the players with a Louisville slugger.

Monday, January 24, 2005

Softball Domination!

So the team's first game is tonight. Sadly I cant play because of the finger (though for the teams chances my injury is probably a good thing). Despite my forced benching I expect the team to dominate. After all how hard can a law school softball league be. We will put up at least 2 runs...go team go and all that good stuff. Hopefully we will play some weak 1L teams and crush those kids, or the team will just get wasted on the stuff contained in the waterboys secret stash.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Give Blood!

Hey if you can please give blood. The blood bank is low on supplies. I know some of you cant give blood but for the rest who can, its a quick relatively painless process and it can help to save a life. The red cross is just down the road from school. The dude who hosts Cheaters got stabbed during an episode: that is pretty damn funny. I always wondered if people who got caught on that show ever went nuts and went after the host/crew.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

3 Xs/Bar Review and a WTF moment!

So the bar was hype the shortie’s outfit was tight: Yes I know I told u that but it really was. So on to the WTF moment that nearly made me reach for the tire iron. When I receive the call from you at 4am, and risk my life to show up by driving through bloody dense fog and slippery roads the last thing I want or expect is some dude that u have sworn to me is not your bf. To be real though bout time we had it out; But this goes for him and anyone else, if you want to kick my ass do not offer me a beer. I don’t mind getting in a fight but the pre beer ritual and the pretence of civility are too extraneous. By the way at 4am when u see me in a coat you would be right to assume that the pockets are not empty. I must say having someone hanging out on the top of the steps was a nice touch. Was that to make sure that I didn’t flip out and jump you? Word is bond broken/sprained (will know soon) fingers will not stop me from swinging on you – the presence of another dude 20 feet away will not stop me from swinging on you. Should we have had a fight you would have had to KILL ME; because if the 2 of you kicked my ass, rest assured that I would be back. A lot of the dudes in the law school went home with pent up energy and I’m sure that beating down an undergrad and a 1L would have been just another day at the office. What you should know is that I am not going to fight over some “bia” do I need to quote the Dr. Dre: “Bitches aint…but ho’s and tricks” I’m sure she is a nice girl blah, blah ad nausea but when u try to fight me over a girl that called me, I will mess u up. Hell I will get Jess to mess you up, she already swung on one girl tonight beating down another should be easy for her. Handle your business: She called me…always remember that no woman is worth fighting over, I wont start the war with you but I sure as hell will end it. If you cant control your girl others will.

Finally: damn baybee that was HOT 2nite, I want to see that again and I won the dare so I expect something in return.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Cheap flights!

Just trying to help anyone who might have friends needing to fly into San Diego. Book by tomorrow (Thursday, Jan. 20): You can fly from 30+ cities across the U.S. for $94 each way or less - even coast-to-coast!
• Austin .... $94
• Philadelphia .... $94
Other departure cities include: Albany, Albuquerque, Birmingham, Columbus (OH), Detroit, Ft. Lauderdale, Hartford/Springfield, Indianapolis, Jackson (MS), Jacksonville (FL), Kansas City (KS), Long Island/Islip, Louisville, Manchester (NH), Nashville, Norfolk (VA), Oklahoma City, Omaha, Orlando, Portland (OR), Providence, Raleigh-Durham, San Antonio, Seattle, Tampa and Tulsa.
Travel is valid 7 days a week from February 9-June 6.
To Book enter your departure city under "Leaving From" and San Diego under "Going To". Select price in the "Search By" field, the number of travelers and press "go". The special fares will appear at the top of your options. This is all on the US Airways web page

Welcome Back!

So by now I figure everyone will be in or at least contemplating coming back in. I guess since I decided to chalk bar review info up on the black boards in what can only be described as chicken scratch here is the info: Friday at E-Street Alley $5 cover b4 11.30pm. Sorry we could not get a better deal, but they wanted $15 from us so this is the best we could get. What is great about being back is that you start to notice all these people that you have never seen before in your class. Robin pointed out a girl to me that is a certified hottie that I have never noticed before, and I thought between myself, G2 and B we would have spotted and conferred about every hot girl in school
 Now that I am back I was hoping I wouldn’t see anymore of those crappy cell phone wallpaper ads
 I really like that Masta Ace track “Good ole love” cop it if you haven’t gotten it yet
 Why is it that my Cal friends wont talk to me about a certain game that occurred on Dec 30th are we just going to pretend that, that did not happen. You owe me. Cowards!

Monday, January 17, 2005

Salute to Dr. King!

This is a day to celebrate a great man’s life: its so sad that even to this day there is still racial intolerance and prejudice. There is so much racism and reverse racism. I honestly wish that the USD book store was closed on a day like this but, I understand that law students would riot if they could not get their books the day before law school starts.

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Law school of idiots?

I had no idea that law school could breed such idiocy and treachery. I was told by my friend about a blog created by some USD law school students and sadly it has got to be one of the worst things I have ever seen. It’s a blog that is bereft of intelligence and yet masquerades itself as fountain of knowledge. Now let’s be clear here, my blog is purely entertainment for me and any others that might choose to read it. I may drop some knowledge now and then but I am not trying to change the world etc. This blog I have just read called for the removal of the SBA now hey that’s a worthy goal to have and a call that anyone can make if there is a good reason but when I read the reasons given I realized that the ability to type does not equate the ability to reason. These idiots said the SBA should be removed because we lied about the Halloween party and blamed others. Supposedly we insulted the student body by sending a letter to them apologizing and detailing the faults of the party etc. I guess the fight and the subsequent police shutting down of the part was all a big lie on our part also. As to your claim that the only thing we do for the students is throw the party; I guess the grade change the new TV the interaction with the faculty are all figments of my imagination. As to my treachery charge: some of the members of that blog are actually employed by the SBA or work closely with the SBA. If you have such high morals etc be real and step down or voice your opinions at the OPEN to everyone SBA meetings.

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Happy Birthday

Julie, Sorry I didnt get to see you.

What the ras...

I caan believe that at 5.30am I am just making my way home. Once again I must be losing my mind. Ole Madrid was pretty decent there were some decent girls there tonight but of course all I could manage to do was stare and think in my mind (actually for once I couldn’t even think of lines – to not say to the hotties) Poor Tiff was I think mad at the crew for not stepping to any girls oh well!. What is it about me and thinking about you girl why do I not feel the urge to go out and scheme, could I really be haunted by the ghost of “bootie-past”? I may have to face a new reality in my life; I possess the kiss of death. Oh well, to #1 I think you shouldn’t be with him it’s a waste of your time. To #2 you have made your choice, deal with it. To #3 what the hell are you thinking? Seriously if you don’t like the relationship get the hell out of there. To #4 no, no, no I refuse. General I am sorry to a lot of peeps a lot of what I said were just lines I apologize for my past indiscretions. Finally, if you call me at 3am that conversation does not come under the heading - friendly chat.

Thursday, January 13, 2005


Angry: So the Calijamaican has returned to California but apparently it was too difficult for Continental airlines to ensure that his luggage accompanied him. If anyone is hanging around an airport anywhere in america look out for 2 pieces just sitting around.

Monday, January 10, 2005

My appt nearly burned down!

Get this the fire-alarm shorted out and nearly set fire to my apartment!

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Calijamaican on the RADIO!/NET

So if you don’t know by now you're about to find out, my dad has a radio program; And this Wednesday the 5th I will actually be on that program along with 2 of my friends. The program starts 9pm Est. 6pm Cali time. I have no idea when I will be on, though it’s most likely in the 1st hour. It is a call in program, BUT; I probably wont be on the call in portion in fact (because I know what kind of friends I have and the threats I have received and the veiled insinuations) it would be best if I am not a part of the call in portion. I shudder to think what kind of stuff yall would call in and ask/say. Once again listen in on Wednesday at 9pm (8pm for the Texans) u will get to hear the Calijamaican (the son) next to the Trinijamaican (the father).
This is the website link if you would like to listen to live audio of my appearance

Saturday, January 01, 2005


Hallelujah TEXAS WINS…. TEXAS WINS I LOVE THE WORLD AT THIS MOMENT. We gave you an exciting rose bowl and I love yall. My boy thought I was having a seizure I reacted so violently to the game. I would like to thank my parents for understanding my deranged screams and my boys for understanding that the fist pumping and death threats were all to the TV not to them. This moment is for everyone. WE’RE TEXAS “what happens here changes the world”

Happy New Year!

Or is it? I know Cal fans have got to be quiet finally...all that whining about the Rose Bowl and you got stomped by the #3 team in the Big 12 south. Oh well there is a knot in my stomach right now as I watch the Rose Bowl damn freshmen. I hate Freshmen catch the ball then RUN u fassy.

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About Me

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.