Infrequently updated consistently funny

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Rush Limabugh busted with viagra!

Read this then write your own Joke…I do love how so many of the “moral majority” types keep getting busted via sex related stories (not saying they are doing stuff that is wrong) after lashing out so much against the indecency of others. Take for instance Bill O’Reilly attacking Pepsi for hiring Ludacris because of his lyrics towards women and because he was a rap artist then later having his phone sex records released (seriously man what do you want to do with that falafel?). Now its Rush’s turn…every few months it seems like I hear about him and a new ‘prescription.’

Dallas Austin – how are you going to travel to Dubai one of the strictest countries in terms of drug laws with cocaine in your pocket? Makes no damn sense!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Always interesting the machinations of government!

Missed it by one vote! I bet this one will be back around again

R.I.P. Christopher...prayers!

So yesterday I did not post his name or an article with his name because enough information had not been given out to the general public. But now that the dean has sent a general email to the law school and his family members have been notified and I was told by some of his friends to post this article I think it is now safe to post his name.

I know for many people this is hard to stomach and to understand and for many it could not have come at a worse time (in terms of grieving and stress) but that is not how we must view life or situations. It is so trite to say that life goes on but sadly/comfortingly/reassuringly/inexorably time does its inevitable march. I will not say we must move on because that is ridiculous, we MUST grieve because we have lost a brother a friend a colleague.

However, I truly believe that beyond grieving we must not let our sorrow weigh us down so much that we forget to live ourselves and forget that we are still here and must carry on! Please take a moment to pray for Chris and his family and to pray for each other - do not forget to have a kind word for your colleagues and if in the tragedy of losing Chris you realize that there is someone that you need to take the time out to talk to, or whisper "I love you" to or even just say a simple thing like "I'm sorry" just do it, do not wait for the next best time because you never know if that next best time will ever come.

I apologize because I know this is not very articulate and sadly not an adequate tribute, but I am weighed down by what has happened and the fact that I am studying for the bar. But, I have a blog I always post my feelings and right now I am feeling shock and if this causes you to take a second like I did to reflect then forgive my lack of polish, look beyond its flaws and say a prayer for me as I will say a prayer for you...

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Usd 2L law student killed by a drunk driver!

I am not posting his name right now to give more of his friends time to find out from better sources than a blog - but I am just in shock - that a DRUNK DRIVING 19 year old took out a school mate! I warn you that the link shows a picture of the car and it is somewhat disturbing.

The news report about the incident...I am with you Peter - It makes me heart sick!

Saturday, June 24, 2006

An amazing goal from back in the day...12 second clip watch the sick curve

As a kid before I dislocated both knees - I used to try and always kick it like Roberto Carlos (operative word 'try') - I loved the Pepsi ad with the little kid staring in awe at the right back and shouting to his friends "Rob-Burt-toe Carrrrrr-los" Everytime I scored a goal from range I used to shout it out in the same tone like the little kid's because I was always in awe at the man's insane ability to cross a ball into the 18. Beckham may get the hype for his 'bends' and he is truly great at servicing the box (oh man that sounds so horrible - now that I live in America) but for my money I will take Roberto Carlos 6 out of 10 and Becks for the other 4 to get the ball to my strikers or to score from distance.

A 10 year erection...now thats rough

This poor guy has had a 10 year erection! Hard to imagine that the company would still claim that the device does not work...though I guess if you view it as 'the device was created to provide an erection' then permanently having one would mean that the device is working perfectly.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Anything but studying...

Bar Prep is killing me so I started looking at this! It really brightened up the dreariness of the library. A few personal preferences #5 #7 (for the Jersey)#10 (I like her national pride)#54 (Nice shorts) #66 (R we seeing up Toni's dress?) #77 (I know it's juvenile but come on she has a ball on her lips how could I not smile at that?)

I started watching it and could not turn away

So I received this video from my sis and decided to just watch a few seconds of it, then I couldn't turn away. I am sure it is the gracefulness of the dancing and not the fact that every second it looks like a wardrobe malfunction is about to happen. Dutty wine has become popular back home and now I can share why with the non-Jamaican readers.

I eagerly await seeing this on a SD dance floor, I am sure some of the USD girls can pull this off - well maybe the hair tossing part.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Yet another reason Y kids are fat

Seriously who thought it would be a good idea to serve this in school? And do we really need a political debate over this?

*my apologies I posted a dead link earlier it is ok now.

"We are prepared to die for our Country!"

I know some of you may not watch the games till the tape delay so if learning the result of the game spoils it for you –stop reading now.

So it is my firm belief that the effort was not there from one side and that no matter what the result in the Italy Game would ultimately be the US team did not play like they wanted to move on (I know they wanted to – they just didn’t play like it). Say what you want about the ref and he was atrocious today – America did not deserve more than a tie today at best and that was not going to cut it anyway.

When your team captain makes a egregious error in the back field and clearly causes a goal I think much of your spirit is broken. But even before that the team lacked fire and competency. I am saddened by this effort – I wanted the US to go to the next round but today they showed that they didn’t deserve to – so disappointing. Listen to what the Ghana captain had said before the game “We are prepared to die for our country” that is some fire inna yuh belly kinna talk. The US had none of that.

Bruce Arena may want to dust of his resume because he produced this team and did not seem to inspire them to greatness. Before the World Cup I said Dempsey should start – Arena disagreed with almost every fan of the US team and sat Dempsey the entire first game he then sat Eddie Johnson all of the 2nd game favoring aging players who had showed no spark. I love that Demps got the goal today (the only goal scored by a US player) because he silenced all his critics and showed why many of us think he could be a star (he plays MLS…take of that what you will). I am not the quickest to say that a coach should be fired because I think too often fans scream for coaches heads but think of this as he has done all he can – if you hired someone to dig a well and all they showed up with was a shovel, once they start and clearly cannot finish the job you would replace them…maybe it’s now time for the US to hire someone with at least a pick axe.
Ghana 2 US 1; Italia 1 Czechs 0: Italy and Ghana advance!

If di fassy woulda jus play di bwoy dem weh have di talent fi put di rahtid ball inna di back a di rahtid net CONCACAF couldda have more dan jus soso Mexico inna di game fi rep wi!

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Secret Training video of the Italian team practicing how to flop!

Ok so the video is a joke (produced by the BBC for Euro 2004) but it cracked me up that on the Espn football message boards, people are going crazy thinking it was actually the way Italy trained to play the US

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Real people acting out a fight sequence from Tekken

If you have ever played Tekken you will like this: It starts off slow but I love the effects they added to the fight scenes. Thanks Allan (the desert eagle) for sending me the clip!

Monday, June 19, 2006

Paige Davis on Let's make a deal

May have been the most retarded gameshow performance ever: She started with altoids with the option to trade it for whatever was behind the curtains and never at any point chose what was behind the curtains; even though on one option the CLUE was GROUND TRANSPORTATION...bear in mind she is playing for charity on a charity game show, so you know you are guaranteed at least a decent prize...I will just take the rest from wikipedia.com (yes her moment was so bad it earned an article)
"Round 3
Paige Davis, dressed as Little Bo Peep, was given a tin of Altoids Mints (worth $1.50). Ricki then offered to trade the mints for what was behind Curtain #2. Paige chose to keep the mints (over an apparent battle with nausea), giving up a Jeep Wrangler SE 4x4 worth $19,135.

She was then offered what was behind Curtain #3, which was partially revealed to show a year's supply of Turtle Wax worth $50. She still kept the mints, and passed on another car, a Dodge Charger worth $22,995, for a total package of $23,045.

Finally, Paige was offered a chance to trade for Curtain #1, with the hint that it hid something to do with GROUND TRANSPORTATION. Once again, she kept the mints, passing on a Cadillac CTS V6 VVT worth $35,080.

So after passing on THREE cars in a row, Ricki opened the mints and revealed a check inside the tin for $3500 cash. This is a recreation of a famous deal that was also previously recreated on the 2003 revival.

Total Winnings: $3,501.50 (incl. the Altoids)"


Seriously the charity must be watching and wishing just once she would pick a DAMN CAR! Just one damn it...

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Make it jump...A Car hopping video!

Most of you have probably seen Car Hopping, but check out how high some of these cars go in the video and watch when the car crashes. Maniacos indeed! Someone is definitely going to be killed doing this...because there is no cure for stupidity (not the car hopping but the idiots who will stay too close).

Makes it easier to score if you hold the defender!



Come on man, you broke the hearts of many in the Caribbean by grabbing that hair.

Friday, June 16, 2006

I do not smoke ganja...

But I think people still think I do even though I have never done it before, have always refused offers etc. However, as soon as I logged on last night I was inundated with people offering me this link. In fact Laura even placed it in my myspace comments (hah there’s your shout-out). It might have something to do with being Jamaican, or the fact that I do not judge those who choose to smoke it, it’s just not for me. I like to keep my vices to things that can make me fat, you know: Ice cream, alcohol and women!

Is it just me or has Comedy Central teased us for a bloody year re Chappelle show?  

Let it be know I am tagging someone in the LRC between now and the bar “Consider yourself warned”

Fantasy football is almost here – to the bastards that slaughtered me in the league last year and the year b4 etc…revenge is a dish best served 3 years cold: To the general public, if you have a favorite football player; you probably do not want me to draft him, because that guarantees he will become injured…see T.O., Priest Holmes, Daunte Culpepper, Mcnabb etc.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Fun video and mild America bashing!

So I must confess, because Jamaica and Trinidad and Tobago are often America’s rivals (note b4 you jump down my throat I just said rivals not equals) in most sports that America participates in internationally, I am usually quick to gloat in America’s defeats…it’s the same with watching OU play anyone else I just want to see them defeated: EXCEPT when the honor of the big 12 is on the line! And the same goes for football, if Jamaica had made this World cup I would have rooted my hardest for Jamaica and T & T and while not actively rooting against America I would have probably enjoyed the whipping we received.

BUT now it’s just sad, I really, really wanted America to do well and it shows how badly she has performed that PRIDE is now taken in the fact that the Ukraine suffered a worst defeat than it. Thing is I think much of the world is fed up with the US’ antics the pretense that if ‘we are not good at it then its not a sport’ or “if we throw enough money at it we will conquer it” and finally “change the game to suit us” Football is beautiful as it now exists – anyone who reads my blog knows that I love American football (TEXAS NATIONAL CHAMPS) but nothing compares to sitting on the couch and watching a team just play football/futbol/futbole the proper way. So enjoy the video and root hard for America against Italy and Ghana, because to be honest I am selfish – I hope that the better America gets at football the more I will be able to see top flight matches on my tele! By top flight I mean non-MLS! Sorry my friends it just doesn’t cut it even though I own a few MLS jerseys. I would rather see Henry, Ronaldinho xs2 and Rooney than Donovan and Adu any day. Oh and joga bonita hype featuring the American team probably didn’t help the world’s view of American hype.

Quick note to the above rivals v equals statement: for our size and economic prowess, both Jamaica and T &T do very well against America with Jamaica doing better than T & T in almost everything (we even made it to the World cup 1st) – now here is hoping half my bloodline doesn’t read that last paragraph!!

ESC should not be an option

This should be standard in all cars! Sorry it's an old article too lazy to dig for something newer! Not much has changed according to the news story I just saw on CNN!

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Lime juice may prevent HIV transmission?

I KNOW I SHOULD BE STUDYING BUT THIS IS IMPORTANT TO LEGAL SCHOLARS…after all we all know that we are a bunch of freaks. A friend sent me this article (and no they were not giving me a hint), but for the rest of you I have posted it as a hint. I know some of you nasty bastards need all the help you can get!!!!!

By the way it is merely coincidental that I was seen buying limes last week, I assure you it was just for culinary purposes!

Monday, June 12, 2006

Damn this one caused me to split my sides laughing!

Thanks again to Josh for another great video link

I love towards the end when Jamaica gets the Big up: Respect Due ALI G!!!!

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Congrats to the land of my blood line Trinidad and Tobago!

Smallest nation in the world cup EVER:  odds of winning 2000:1 Sweden’s odds 40:1 T and T played with only 10 men for the second half. Result of the match: A DRAW….go deh soca warriors! To keep in perspective just how great an accomplishment this was, the US is the #5 ranked team in the world and their odds are 101:1 to win.

I agree with the first yellow card for Avery John since it was a late tackle but on the second yellow I think the ref was a bit trigger happy! Come on man the usual idea is that on a 50-50 tackle if the player gets the ball it is not a card-able offense, but oh well, only made the draw that more exciting.  

I do love that the Ivory Coast quit a CIVIL war to cheer for their team in the World Cup! Too bad that they definitely will not win their first game that I am currently watching.

Sometimes I love creative judges

What to do when lawyers just can't agree!

Friday, June 09, 2006

An all time internet video classic..."grab that towel"



Thanks Josh for providing this link, it is definitely an all time classic. How dumb can peeps be? And why is the guy at the end in full camouflage was that necessary?

Thursday, June 08, 2006

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Mom! I love you!

Of Clint Dempsey and world cup sadness

Check out this story about Clint Dempsey. World cup starts in 9 hours: wish I didn't have the bar cause I just feel like this is going to be one of the better world cups.

NO water at the house and the bar is making me dumber

Apparently the more I study for the bar the less I am actually learning. My scores on practice tests are dropping rather than rising. I am hoping this has something to do with the fact that I tend to make my practice tests at 11pm.

Came home today to find the city of San Diego outside our complex with a bunch of construction workers all just sitting on the side of the road: staring at a gaping hole with water gushing out of it: first words to the roomie were “Hope this doesn’t affect our water” he believed it wouldn’t because he still has faith in the city of San Diego – I share no such illusions. So of course once we got to the appt it was no shock that we had no bloody water.

If I thought it would help I would go outside and ask the 5 guys that are just staring at the water “Why the hell are you not doing something?” Damn it I left the 3rd world with the hope that I would always have basic utilities: Ok so that’s not why but so many of my American friends are under the mistaken impression that Jamaica and anywhere not named the USA has no infrastructures, that I often make jokes about how much we suffer ‘back home’

I think the bar has made me bitter: nothing is good enough for me anymore. And anyone not going the maximum speed on the highway is a slacker and deserves death or at the very least to get out of my way.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

6-6-6?

Well if you are suspicious and ignore the fact that there is a zero before the last 6 then I guess today could freak you out 6-6-06!

Great timing by the producers of the omen to release today, even if what all the critics say is true and it's a crappy movie! As Tiff mentioned to me though, kind of crazy to see an actress that is in my age group playing the role of a mom with a young child who looks to be at least 6 - 7 and if they are following the original movie as close as they claim she would have had 2 miscarriages prior to producing this kid. Yes I know peeps have kids young, it just trips me out to see it: I think of Julia Stiles as always playing some teenager.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Lioness mauls man

He wanted to see if God existed, now he has an opportunity to get first hand knowledge! Thanks to my lyoness for providing the link!

A Picture Share!

Visual proof of the effects of barbri!

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Big ups to Busy Signal

Nice to see him featured on the front page of Billboard.com.

It cracks me up though; like I always tell my American friends when they are trying to tell me about a 'new' song, most dancehall songs once they get to America have already been playing for years back home. But heck it's the same for European songs and even some American artists that release abroad so still come to me with new songs cause you never know when it might be 'new' to me and I love all music!

Check out Busy's song 'Step out' when you get a chance, though if you live in San Diego like I do expect to wait a few more months so that we can catch up with the rest of the Nation!

U R now about to witness the strength…of Bob Saget

“Who you rolling with…Bob Saget…my best friend”
If that line makes sense to you then you are as guilty as I am and have been watching Jamie Kennedy’s new show…it has its funny moments, mostly centered around Jamie and Stu’s rapping. I have been listening to some of the songs available online and they are crazy “Circle circle dot dot, I got my cootie shot”!

To those watching X3 anytime soon, my roomie has advised me that there is a scene after the credits have completely rolled, so just a heads up to any planning to go check the movie out.

Dirk v Shaq for the title, guess it makes sense poetically since they were nearly traded for each other 2 years ago, now we can see who wins out head to head. If anyone knows me they know that my pick is going to be the Texas team, though if Dallas wins my ex is going to make my life unbearable with her crowing. No way to get around it, I want Dallas to win, but I don’t want Lyoness to have the free boasting opportunity.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Of white men jumping and bar insanity!

I need some humor so I had to replay some old comedy episodes I have:
White comedian on Comic view: “You know white people don’t fight, we press charges!”
“Call yourself a pimp, you aint nothing more than a pimple”
“I believe white men CAN jump, they just prefer to pay black people to do it for them”
  • The 2 least married groups are black women and Asian men: but the 2 groups tend not to marry each other?

So I have come to the firm conclusion that the bar has driven me insane. Anyone who knows me knows I HATE to study. The good Lord has blessed me with natural ability but to keep me grounded saddled me with lack of focus. My father can study for four hours straight and not move a muscle except to turn a page. I study for 4 mins and need to move. Imagine the cold sweat that ran down my back when our intro prof said “Study for 3 hours straight and then take a break”. Even in my exams I take breaks, every half an hour or so I stare around or fidget or go to the restroom, I just can’t sit still and do academic pursuits for that long.
     
Yet now I am expected to study for 6 – 8 hours a day? Father help me! So I have to show much love to many of my peeps who I thought were horrible at studying because of them I am getting the motivation to spend long hours in the library.

     So many of you may have seen the in class blogging episodes of previous blogs (too lazy to link them now) and others have asked advice on classes to take. Well one class in particular I have steadily bashed all semester with the proviso that if my grade came in and it was to my liking I would take it all back and declare that I love the class…well grades are in and I am now a LOVER not a hater!
     
Shout out to the ‘Gotchi’ and her new threat to sue everyone, I know if I don’t give the blog-out I may be next on the hit list which continues to expand!

TB lets get sushi: I see you working on that MBE, MPC crap but Spicy tuna trumps torts any day: plus I know that we had the same prof so we know about the same amount of material…very little!

Thursday, June 01, 2006

A Picture Share!

Doodling while bored in barbri! So I borrowed the sobe logo.

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.