Infrequently updated consistently funny

Monday, December 25, 2006

Merry Christmas...

I hope that everyone had a great day and that you are all suitably stuffed and enjoyed your selves.

RIP to the Godfather of Soul – James Brown

Friday, December 15, 2006

It is good to be back in the Island

This place would be paradise if it was not for the fact that half of my friends are afraid to venture out of their homes at night...

Also what is up with us having a Malaria outbreak? The region had not seen malaria for 50 years and all of a sudden it is back like a hurricane? I blame the tourists (no seriously I do, apparently it has been traced back to some visitors to the island)

To my American friends I can receive text messages on my US phone I just cannot send them so if you have something to tell me just send me a text and I will call you back.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

On the 1st day of Christmas

The Cali - J flew into Jamaica

I guess today is actually the first day of Christmas if you subscribe to the 12 days of Chrismas theory.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Just a few blurbs as the holiday season aproaches

A new Texas bill might make it legal for the blind to hunt. For some reason it feels rather scary...probably because of the fact that I see images of blind gun toting persons going around with laser scopes.

Ah Reindeer hot dogs - Seems like more of a gimmick than substance since they are supplimented with beef and pork.

It is funny to me (sad re her getting a DUI) that the Nicole Richie DUI mug shot is probably one of the best pictures I have seen of her in the last four years. And as Hollywood mug shots tend to go - this is definitely one of the better looking ones...The weight she told police officers is scary 85lbs at 5 foot 1.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Indian Men are TOO SMALL on average for CONDOMS

I know this is horrible, but this story made me laugh!

I did not know it was possible to be too small for a condom - I mean I had heard of isolated cases but not something this wide spread, crunching the numbers based on that article means that 90% NINETY PERCENT of the men in the Indian financial district of Mumbai are between 1-2 inches TOO SMALL for condoms. Something tells me I should proof read this but I am laughing too hard!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Wow Mary J sounded awful

You know this year might have been the year that Mary J. Blige made “The Breakthrough” but I saw an old episode of her appearing on the Jamie Foxx show and she sounded HORRIBLE. At first I thought I was being harsh but the episode that she was in featured her singing as well as Ron Isley, Jamie and a gospel choir and she was consistently out sung by those around her.

It is funny to remember that for a while the best thing on Mary’s resume (and many still think it is still the best thing) was her cameo on Method Man’s “Your all that I need”. For ages she was just another R & B singer on the cusp. Supposedly talented but never letting her talent show through, then came 2005 and the transformation, new look, new body, new passion. Hard work definitely shines through and will always help you to improve no matter how good you already think you are.

I am sure getting clean of the drugs did not hurt either. Yay might be fun to say, but damn it messes up relationships and ruins careers. It is crazy to me that a drug that powerful is still thought of as an ok recreational drug by so many in the entertainment business. Mary J. in an interview spoke about yay leading her to cigarettes because after doing yay she needed something to calm her back down – but then of course the drugs and the boozing started to affect her singing.

By the way not saying that Mary had not had a successful career prior to ‘The Breakthrough’ in fact she had 6 platinum albums, but this one just sounds better and seeing the contrast between it and how she sounded on the Jamie Foxx show just struck me.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Acting like a tourist...and a scary woman

In exactly one week I will be returning to my home land and I think I am going to act like a tourist for a bit. Already have plans to ride ATVs all over Rose Hall estates, too hard to pass up a four hour ATV tour at a price that I would pay for 2 hours in San Diego.

This is one scary lady

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Ah Monday night winding down - It has been a long week already

If I was an autograph seeker I would be in the best city of the world. Thankfully I do not seek autographs. The last time I went after one for myself was the year Jamaica made it to the World Cup and if you follow football you will know that that was a long time ago and if you know me at all you will realize that I was young.

The last time I sought an autograph was while I was still living in Texas and sought an autograph for a friend from Kevin Spacey, and no it was not one of the “I have a friend” lies it truly was for a friend because she was not able to come out the night we went to a posh bar in Austin and so I got Mr. Spacey’s autograph for her with her name and everything in his handwriting.

Anyway I am talking about autographs because my boy and I went out for a Monday evening drink – He because he worked late (11pm) I because I was tired of setting up material for tutoring tomorrow and because it has been a stressful past 2 days. We live in a town that is always popping (probably a bad thing knowing our personalities) so finding a spot to hit up is never a problem.

We hit up a spot that was described by Zagat as having a “Two-to-one women-to-men” ratio so of course we had to check it out it was also described as a place for “hipsters and beautiful people” I fit none of those categories but the words no cover definitely fit my category so I was easily talked into going by my friend with his highly persuasive argument of “hey do you want to hit that bar up?” How could I say no to such oratory?

So we rolled out drank with the beautiful (it was a bit short on the beautiful, since the hottest chicks we saw tonight appeared to be surgically attached to some guys that we were definitely better than) and the hip, including peeps like Jeffrey Ross, Doug Benson and a guy who if he is not Chris Daughtry does the best Daughtry impersonation ever (looks like it worked since 2 chicks were acting the fool around him all night while he lounged).

Damn it I need to start working out harder and pretending that I play for some sports team cause apparently connections are everything in this town. If I was 4 inches taller I would claim that I played guard for the Clippers, I would say Lakers but everyone knows the Lakers in this town, the clips so far have not had their bandwagon too weighed down with ‘fans’ yet!

Sunday, December 03, 2006

An apology...

Sometimes you do something in life and it shocks you as to how mean you can be. I have very rarely thought of myself as a mean person and rarely try to actually hurt those around me.

Sadly though, recently I have done that, and I have risen to a level of attack that was beneath me, but was born of my frustrations at things around me.

A blog was created ( that outlined the actions of the room-mate of a fictional character Diggity Dogg. Though the real names of the main characters were never used and instead pseudonyms (MR and FR) were used, the creation of the blog caused pain to persons in the real world.

The blog has been deleted because it was the right thing to do and not out of fear of repercussions. I will not list the persons that were hurt because to do so would defeat the purpose of the blog which was to create a port for venting while creating a fun and easy to read site.

Distilling anyone’s life down to just their worst moments or mistakes can lead to an interesting read, but it can create the impression that the bad things are the only features of the person. Even the title of the blog which at the time I thought was funny may have led to bad impressions: Though part of the title was chosen due to FR’s love at the time of the song “Crazy” without someone having that in depth knowledge the blog would merely have come across as a room-mate is insane.

There is much regret that the blog was created, because no one wants to hurt people that they consider friends. Even while writing I thought that it would be amusing since I was once told “You can write anything about me as long as you never mention me by name” but removed from the situation and looking back at it dispassionately I can realize that it was mean.

I never intended to make anyone sad, but I know I did and thus I can only say “I am sorry”, I truly am because though one will always make fun of friends, you do not want your friends to feel bad about themselves because of your jests.

Diggity Dogg

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Props to my boy Peter and His UCLA Bruins

Way to pull off the stunner!

There went my shot at a Playboy model

So my boy DG and I went to a Playboy model’s calendar release event at a Club in West Ho. Problem is we never actually entered the club. Not because we were denied entry, not because we could not afford to get in and not because we changed our mind about going out but because while waiting in line we observed not one not two but a disturbing number of ugly chicks.

Now before anyone gets on me with the: “Beauty is only skin deep” or “That is not the way to look at people” or the even lamer “They might have been good people” I say half of attraction is attractiveness. I was once accused by a young lady of putting too much stock in physical attractiveness and then I observed that young lady one night at a club arguing with her friend that she should get “The cute one because I saw him first”

I am sure all those young ladies were potentially nice people. But when I am looking to view some eye candy, I would rather get a handful of skittles than a bunch of rock candy. It was incredible for a West Ho event there was not a single hot chick and we saw dozens of girls. In fact there was not even a mildly attractive girl in the line. And of course since it was a Playboy model event there were more than the average number of guys. So that made the situation untenable. It was bad enough that the chick to guy ratio was low, but to throw in the ratio of ugly chick to guy ratio and that was just impossible to stand. It would be like taking your white girlfriend to dinner at OJ’s sure you might potentially have a good meal, but all night you would be uncomfortable.

Many of my friends and even I have touched on it...when heading to a ‘black’ event the chances of seeing a certain type of young lady are greatly enhanced. I will not touch on that weighty issue right now, but my colleagues (especially those who were at the Lupe Fiasco show) will understand. It never fails if there is a high chance of black guys a certain type of female will be definitely in attendance taking up space.

I enjoy rolling with DG to many of these events and clubs, since so many of these places are the complete opposite of San Diego. Many a night in SD, DG and I would roll out and I would be in the significant minority. Tonight DG’s words in one of the lines we were in: “Am I the only white guy here tonight?” I was able to point out only one other pale fellow and DG appeared to dismiss him as a member of the race.

There was a bonus to tonight though - I came home early and ‘accidentally’ booked a flight to Jamaica...I wanted to go Air J told me they were sold out I decided to test out a site that I know for fares the deal looked so damn good that I had to book it. But more on that later. I am off to watch Ugly Betty via my laptop. I love technology.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Ah the Joy of Britney Spears' Modesty!

So I was watching the NEWS and this was mentioned so I figured I had to check it out...Warning these are pictures of Britney Spears’ crotch, not full crotch shots just enough to share the fact that she scorches the earth (impressive). What is not impressive is the fact that she has taken to sharing her beaver with the world - then again the world has actively sought out the shots of Brits’ beaver.

The above links contain 2 different shots of Britney I would warn you to not open this in class but come on, if I have to warn you about that you probably should not be reading this blog!

I know I initially railed on Madonna's fitness...

But at this point would it not be better to leave the child with her? If she is even a half way decent mother it seems unfair to rip the child from it's new comfortable surroundings. My main problem was how the adoption (and reasons for the adoption) were handled now that that has already been botched this 'show' investigation leaves me just as queasy as her initial adoption.

I have never heard of any major flaws in the way she raises her biological kids - so though I think this kid will have a weird/even potentially messed up life I still think it would be better for him to stay than to be pulled out and sent by to a father that has pretty much let him go.

Of course if there is some major flaw in Madonna's parenting they should not let her have a child, but I think the bigger thing that should be investigated are all the inherent flaws in a system that allowed a rich celebrity to cut the line as if she were merely taking 20 items in the 10 items or less line.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

“Looks like somebody suffered from premature slapulation.”

Ok if you still have not checked out ‘How I met your mother’ or HIMYM if you are lazy like myself and Meatball then I can only say that you are missing out on one of the best shows on television. The show is reaching legen...wait for it dary status! NPH has so many laugh out loud zingers in that show that he is fast becoming one of my favorite TV characters ever. The best line of the season had to be delivered by one of the female leads when she and her friends were observing a youtube clip of her days as a Canadian pop singer. One of the guys asked “This video was in 1994 why does it look like the 80's?” Robin’s response: “The 80's did not come to Canada until like 1993"

Sample Lyrics from

“There’s this boy I like.
Met him at the food court.
He’s got hair like Gretzsky
And he does jumps on his skateboard.
I hope he asks me out.
Takes me to my favorite spot.
It’ll be just him and me.
(But don’t forget the robot.)

Dad says I’m too young to date
But baby I don’t want to wait.
That’s OK, I’m gonna rock your body anyway.
I’m gonna rock your body till Canada Day.”

I am actually sitting here with tears streaming down my face because I just watched the 2 episodes that I have tivoed back to back...Wayne Brady’s guest appearance tonight was stellar and the ‘Let’s go to the mall’ episode is just amazing.

I fear that the true humor of this all will not come out in just this short clip but you have to watch this video of my new favorite pop star Robin Sparkles

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving Y'all

No secret what I have to be thankful for this year!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Go see the new Bond film: Casino Royale

I saw the new Bond film tonight with my bro. I have seen every single Bond film ever made and I have to say I think this is one of the better Bond films. It has removed the cheesiness of many of the former films while keeping some of the ‘classic’ Bond lines.

Be prepared for a couple jump out of your seat moments. The violence level has been escalated in this film over the other films. And they have created a much more ruthless Bond. Much has been made of the fact that Bond is now blonde – I say “So?” The character is based on his charm/ability to kill without remorse/ and ability to bed multiple women. Let’s be honest, if Timothy Dalton can be a Bond, pretty much anyone can be a Bond.

If you’re a fan of the franchise you will not be disappointed in this film and if you have never seen a Bond movie this would be a great introduction to the franchise. As always Dame Judi Dench is stellar and a scene stealer and captivates the audience when she speaks. There is the usual crazy looking Bond villain with a slight quirk or anatomical defect, but definitely cold hearted.

Again – just go see it: I hate when reviewers spoil movies when trying to give a good review and in truth to give a good review many times you have to reveal things about the movie so I will not give you a good review and rather call it a recommendation…and if you insist on believing that something of the movie must be revealed, here goes – Bond kills people.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

A Picture Share!

Current speed on the highway and it is not even 4pm yet!

Monday, November 20, 2006

I bet you wish people still thought of you as Kramer - you racist bastard

"The camera started rolling just as Richards began his attack, screaming at one of the men, "Fifty years ago we'd have you upside down with a f***ing fork up your ass."

Richards continued, "You can talk, you can talk, you're brave now motherf**ker. Throw his ass out. He's a nigger! He's a nigger! He's a nigger! A nigger, look, there's a nigger!"

Michael Richards better known as ‘Kramer from Seinfeld’ unleashed a horribly racist rant at the Laugh Factory just down the street from me. Richards’ decided to let the whole world in on the fact that he is a bigoted idiot by cursing at audience members and refusing to quit even after being reprimanded by the audience. Watch the video and note just how long he keeps up his disgusting tirade. Sadly I think the racial divide in our country is widening and not narrowing.

Bet the rest of the Seinfeld cast will start to distance themselves more and more from Richards as days go by. I still wonder about all these shows that are set in major metropolitan cities and have no persons of color (any color) in them. Everyone knows about the lack of the ‘black friends’ in ‘Friends’ but the white wash is in so many other programs.

It would not bother me that there are no black faces in shows if incidents like the Richards’ incident did not keep cropping up. Or the fact that the last few days I have gone walking in Hollywood and actually watched the difference in cops pulling over people in my neighborhood. There was a cop posted up on a side street just off Hollywood Blvd. A car with 2 young black men pulled up and was pulled over and they were ordered out, and told to spread them and the works…search demanded…where are you going…I wanted to run up screaming “I’m a lawyer, do not do this” I watched a white car get pulled over and the difference was amazing.

Does racism exist? Yes. Is it much more pervasive than most want to admit? I think the answer is definitely YES!

The night results came out!

I think you can guess what our results were from the look on my face!

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Bar results are finally out...Good luck to all!

I learned basic math tonight: Bar results plus a clique equals multiple stiff drinks almost half a bottle of champagne and a bunch of passed out friends. Sadly for the insomniac that does not get drunk it also means late night blogging and the intense desire to take pictures of your passed out friends. Ok who am I kidding if you know me you know that it is obvious that I took pictures of my passed out friends.

Later today I will be at the CAL v USC game GO BEARS! A Cal win would only serve to improve this weekend!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

I found another fun filled round of in class blogging - not for the squeamish or overly PC!

This was originally the addendum I had planned to do more editing to it then realized that I am lazy and that to appreciate its true nature it has to remain in its raw form. After reading through it I can see why I hesitated to post it the first time.

DAR-KER (2:45:36 PM): I have a question
DAR-KEY(2:45:40 PM): shoot
DAR-KER (2:45:50 PM): how many buttons is a law prof allowed to open?DAR-KEY(2:46:14 PM): i can't see her midriff... who's closest?
WHY-T (2:46:41 PM): i think she is rocking old person i just got back from riding horsee high as waste pants
DAR-KER (2:46:59 PM): from LY-TER: yeah i'm looking. Does CH know wut cleavage is?
DAR-KEY(2:47:52 PM): leaning againt the podium... woo!
C25 (2:49:28 PM): dude, she skipped me, this is not good
WHY-T (2:49:42 PM): i dont think she is racktackular enough to have cleavage
DAR-KER (2:50:55 PM): that kid ALWAYS volunteers does he know that it’s anonymous grading?
DAR-KEY(2:51:18 PM): he's working on push points the suck up brown noser!
DAR-KER (2:51:29 PM): is that camel toe?
WHY-T (2:51:37 PM): booyeah
DAR-KER (2:52:29 PM): she keeps playing with her collar
WHY-T (2:52:36 PM): she wants to pop it
DAR-KER (2:52:45 PM): she is looking right at me
WHY-T (2:52:50 PM): no way she is looking at me
DAR-KEY(2:52:59 PM): no, at me!
WHY-T (2:53:02 PM): she loves tall lanky white kids
DAR-KEY(2:53:03 PM): i'm the tall dark and handsome one!
DAR-KER (2:53:11 PM): lean over
DAR-KER (2:53:12 PM): DO IT
DAR-KEY(2:53:16 PM): she's so close she wants to so badly
WHY-T (2:53:41 PM): you should just go up and hug her after class
DAR-KER (2:55:26 PM): (LY-TER: r u guys still mekkin fun of her): do we ever stop?
WHY-T (2:58:48 PM): Am i the only one who was offered sex in the stacks by 2 different ladies in this law school in a 2 day timespan?
DAR-KEY(2:58:57 PM): did you accept?
WHY-T (2:59:13 PM): i wasnt sure if that was an honor code violation
DAR-KER (2:59:18 PM): nope
DAR-KER (2:59:25 PM): u nasty bastard
WHY-T (2:59:29 PM): i mean turning it down
WHY-T (3:00:08 PM): didnt someone get caught doing that a couple of years ago?
Check current edition of Motions for more on LRC sex
WHY-T (3:03:46 PM): i love how this class has stopped being a classs but more an opportunity to chat online
At this point the convo disintegrated into material so raunchy I couldn’t even edit it into a form that could be used but it led to this exchange...
WHY-T (3:10:14 PM): so who is more milf
DAR-KER (3:10:22 PM): the other one (panel Lady)
WHY-T (3:10:24 PM): panel lady or the horse rider
DAR-KEY(3:10:25 PM): i think the darkie last thursday is hotter
DAR-KER (3:10:30 PM): because I at least can listen to her
DAR-KER (3:10:37 PM): did u just say darkie?
DAR-KEY(3:11:30 PM): it's the darkie vs. the Jew for best milf of the year!
DAR-KER (3:11:38 PM): oh man
DAR-KER (3:11:44 PM): you are going to hell
DAR-KEY(3:11:48 PM): i know, on the fast track

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

In Living color debuts...

Currently watching the first episode of ‘In Living Color’ that had J-Lo: I did not realize that her appearance was the first appearance of Jamie Foxx as well as the first time that Sean Wayans stepped down from the DJ booth and joined the regular cast. It all makes that Jamie joke re J-lo “I knew J-lo when she was just: Hey ho” even funnier to me.

Man this was such a good show – Fox messed up canceling this show, but then again they also cancelled Family guy for awhile and many other shows that they later regretted.

Ok back to watching a million Wayans pass through this show!

There was also the appearance of Damien Wayans who would later do ‘Malibu’s most wanted’ (a highly under-rated movie) and be a writer on ‘My Wife and Kids’

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Happy Birthday...


Wow..another one

Gentlemen and lady of the inclass blogs. I have found another in class blog from the 'good ole days' and as usual I need your permission before posting. It is probably as bad and as crude as the one from a few weeks ago!

The fight we have been waiting for is here...

No not the battle between Paris Hilton and talent. Finally Mayweather v De La Hoya has been signed

Monday, November 13, 2006

Andy Griffith sues Andy Griffith

This definitely comes in under the ‘if you do this you better win’ category. Looking at the case docket must be awesome ‘Andy Griffith v Andy Griffith’. That guy is definitely a loser in life and in the election.

[I love when he said this “For such an American icon, it’s a pretty un-American thing to do to me,” said Griffith, who has about three weeks to respond to the filing.]
--Actually Mr. Fake Griffith in today’s society it is a pretty American thing to do – everyone sues everyone nowadays and half the time not for something as serious as turning someone’s name into the name of a loser.

The Lupe Fiasco show was a Fiasco!

I know too blatant and easy a pun, but sadly it is true. The ticket said “Show starts at 9pm” however Lupe did not take the stage until 12:30 and was off by 1:30. Prior to Lupe ‘blessing’ the stage we were all privileged to witness the second lowest point in hip-hop (could not be the lowest point since it was not a K-Fed show) but damn the second opening act was so horrible I thought at some point a clown with a huge hook would show up.

The 2nd act had a group that originally had 3 guys (3 huge guys) I say originally since by the end of their performance there were 10 guys on stage and for some reason everyone seemed to have a mic when NONE of them should have had a mic. It was crazy to see a guy that was built like a linebacker doing the Roger Rabbit, the cabbage patch and the Robo-cop dances; note to rappers when half your set is revisiting 80’s dances your performance is WEAK.

This was the first concert that I have been to where people in the crowd were more interested in talking to each other than listening to the acts on stage. Once Lupe finally hit the stage his performance was decent – but much of it was lost because the crowd had lost all its momentum and the ‘hype’ was just not there.

The “Daydreams” track won back the show, but how could it not? That track has got to be one of the best of the year…check it out if you have not already heard it.

At least the slow warm up acts allowed for a great shot of Baker with the lead singer from the first band – you have to love the classic Baker goofy drinking face!

Will have to post additional pix later since our favorite 'groupie dancers' were there and I met a new LA acquaintance while hanging in San Diego!

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Damn, it sold more than I expected!

Kevin Federline's CD has sold approximately 6,000 at No. 151 on The Billboard 200. (Source China Daily)

For once beatng Kami to a love Thursday...pic

It may not be the normal pix, but I know one of my friends that LOVEs this pix so that should count for something!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Sadly the dutty whine has claimed a victim...18 y. old dies doing dance

I posted a video re this dance a long time ago, but after reading Crankyputz's blog I found a story about a young girl dying from performning the dance...DAMN!

I warn you DO NOT OPEN THIS VID IN FRONT OF KIDS OR CO-WORKERS...k you have been warned (no one dies in this clip)

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Finally an update...

To My Roomie is crazy - Man that Diggity Dogg has been slacking

Of dog walking, and excessively fat dogs

So I walked a dog for the first time ever in America. It was an issue of necessity since no one else was available to do it. Many people think I hate animals; that is not true (I am a zoologist after all): I hate the adjustments that come with having animals. Like if you have an apartment you have to walk the dog constantly and the poor dog has to remain cooped up while you are at work etc. When I was a kid we had tonnes of dogs but we also had an acre of land for them to roam on so it was never an issue of cleaning up behind them or worrying if they had enough space.

The dog in my condo is a 130lb Golden Retriever (note that is an obese dog) who gets so little exercise. I took the dog for the walk and started jogging to get the dog some exercise (even though I was tire from riding my bike for a couple hours) and the dog started panting before I did. As a general rule if something gets tired doing anything aerobic before I get fatigued it is unfit.

Anyway I had to pick the dog’s feces up in the plastic bag and damn that must have been an amusing sight for anyone watching. I have never walked a dog before because the thought of having to pick up after it has always disgusted me. So to pick the feces up I spread the bag over the excrement and then basically dug into the ground on both sides of it taking up a chunk of the sod with the product and then dashed to the nearest trash receptacle. Though I was no where close to touching the excrement I felt dirty for the entire rest of the walk and was just amazed (slightly disgusted) at the fact that my roomies routinely just grab the feces up with the bag as if nothing happened and would comment on the wetness or warmth of the product.

NOTE The average Golden Retriever weighs about 75lbs as per petplanet. Also check out this site that shows the average by age group – the dog in our apartment is 2 years old

Real time election updates!

The dems have taken the house! Senate race is close Republicans need 2 seats to retain the Senate. I would love to see the race end with a 50/50 split (Not sure how Sen. Lieberman will affect it all)

A Picture Share!

This huge beast is supposed to be a golden retriever

You may have heard about Faith Hill's reaction to losing last night

Here is the video. Something I had not noticed till I read some of the comments it does look like she threw her hands up thinking she had won and then reacted to the actual announcement. At first blush I thought she was kidding and spoofing Kanye - now not so sure

Here was Kanye's meltdown, I love that he says that he never saw the other video, but his has to be better

Finally she is free...for me!

Granted she now clearly has a lot of miles on her, but that does not mean she is no longer a classic...For those too lazy to click links...Britney is finally divorcing Kevin Federline aka K-Fed

Monday, November 06, 2006

Kirstie Alley shows that hard work can pay off!

She lost 75lbs to get down to this size...

Photo from

Sunday, November 05, 2006

This story is just so damn scary to me

Prison really really produces scary people...ignore the masturbation on a tree stump and look at what he had stored in his body... picture from wikipedia

Friday, November 03, 2006

Just a mid day 'pick me up' joke...thanks for the FW Becky!

Bono is at a U2 concert in Ireland when he asks the audience for some quiet.
Then in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands.

Holding the audience in total silence, he says into the microphone...

"Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."

A voice from near the front of the audience pierces the silence..."Fookin stop doing it then!"

Thursday, November 02, 2006

It was a great night tonight.

- Ate too much
- Drank too much bad booze
- And rolled down the strip like we owned the place
- Plus had the added joy of having my friend called a girl over the internet

So a friend of mine saw the Halloween pix and asked me: “What is the girl?” Which led to me being confused because at that moment I had not posted any pictures of girls; turns out that my friend saw a picture of one of my boys and was convinced that she was looking at a picture of a girl, In fact she is going to poll her friends tomorrow to see how many of them think that my boy looks like a girl.

That was the first hit to my boy’s ego, the second major hit occurred when we hit the bar and though he was standing up right by the bar trying to get the bartenders attention she then ignored him looked over the shoulder of the gentleman sitting beside him to ask me (in the background) what I would like to drink which led to my boy doing the ‘WTF’ stare always an awesome look in the bar,

The final hit to his ego came when she made him show id while I was ordering the drinks, despite not checking mine. Thus the night was going well, we then made sure that the night was NPH epic by ordering Pabst Blue Ribbons (the tall boy sizes), nothing says class like PBR.

To top the boozing off we requested that the bar tender design us a shot, she then took a shot with us and only charged us for one shot WE R DEFINITELY GOING BACK THERE! If she were only a little cuter I would have met my wife to be!

Found a great Thai place on Sunset, we ordered way too much food and knew we ordered too much food but we kept eating. Now we are both stuffed, my friend has passed out while playing a video game and it is not even midnight yet…ok you can’t tell that I took a break in blogging but I just had to move across the room to move my friends finger off the controller because I think he was about to put his character in danger since he passed out with his finger still on the walking button…wish I understood what this game was about!

Now that he is passed out, I think I will go check out the party they are having upstairs in the building.

Maybe this is why Halloween is so popular in West Hollywood

The joy of having your own blog is that you can make sure when posting a group of pictures of debauchery, that you carefully take out the picture that has you in it...

Money is completely wasted on these people

You paid what? For that?

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Why Flav, WHY?

Flavor flav continues to prove why he should not be a role model to anyone (even if he had one of the funniest shows on TV),26334,1553194,00.html

It has definitely been awhile since I posted information on one of my dreams:

This morning I had what can only be described as a freaky dream and no if you are looking for a freaky sex dream, this is not the blog for you (I tend not to have those much anymore – is it a sign of age, maturity or I am just so lazy that even my dreams are affected?)

If you know me well, then you will know that I have bad knees, in fact I like to joke that I have the knees of an ‘eighty year old man’ but something tells me, some octogenarians would be pissed at that joke since I sometimes have a knee give out on me while getting up off the couch.

Last night I dreamt that I went in for a knee operation (since I do not have medical insurance that would cover such an operation it at first seemed like it might be a nightmare), even in my dream I knew that the hospital/doctor was shady! I remember in the dream yelling: “I do not have any insurance” and the doctor replied: “It’s ok you won’t need any for this operation”

The doctor then began to explain the intended procedure to me, and I immediately agreed because I figured sweet “I am getting my knees back”  Then I thought for a moment at what the doc said the surgery would entail: They were going to stick what essentially looked like sharp forceps (huge tweezers to the non-scientific) into my knee, then drive them in with a hammer so that the were forced into at least an inch depth…then they were going to leave them in each knee for a period of time, so as to allow the knees to (and this is where the science gets fuzzy [I know the above looks crazy but this was the explanation the doc gave me])

“By damaging the knee so severely and leaving the forceps in, the body will be forced to make new tissue and ligaments and slowly over time it will force the forceps out and you will have healthy knees”

I FEEL FOR THAT?? If I was a weed smoker I would at this moment say “I have got to stop smoking” but I do not touch drugs and I have not had a drink in 5 days so clearly stimulants had nothing to do with it (though I guess my secret fantasy of having completely healthy knees did me in).

Thing is, even after re thinking the idea, I still accepted it. Shows how desperate I was, but not only did I accept it, I went out of my way to convince my parents and brother that it was a good thing, then went behind their backs and had the surgery because they would not let me do it.

The doc warned me that it might not be a good idea to have the surgery if I had trouble sleeping on my back because of course the forceps would be sticking out of my knees the whole time that I was in recovery, so I would have to be strapped in to a harness of some sort. So the surgery began, I was strapped in and my leg was grasped and I watched in horror as the doc positioned not a forcep but a spike over my leg then with a huge hammer the spike was driven into my leg and I started screaming…everyone in the room except the doctor and I was passing out or puking and the doctor positioned for a second spike to be driven in my other knee and at that point I yelled no way reached across the table (some how loosed from the restraints) landed a solid punch to his jaw, and woke up to find my fist buried in my pillow and sweat pouring down my body.

Some how in the night I had turned completely around in bed so that I was lying perpendicular to my starting position, and facing away from the direction that I would normally have turned in. My pillow was closer to the foot of the bed instead of the head of the bed so I guess I moved it while fighting and the mattress had shifted a little of its base.

Not sure what the dream means, but I know one thing for certain - NO EXPERIMENTAL KNEE SURGERIES FOR THIS GUY!

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Happy Halloween y'all!

I am spending a couple of nights in the Valley, and there are a million "trick or treaters" is fun to watch; sorry that I cannot post pictures but I look at it this way, if I were a dad and my kids went up to a stranger's home, the last thing I would want to see is a huge guy taking pictures of my in lieu of pix of the kids, have one of the clique...

A Picture Share!

La city hall. At one dollar a page, the cheapest city office for copies. Compare w/ the records office that charged me EIGHTY FOUR DOLLARS US. for 19 pages!

Monday, October 30, 2006

FOL finale and my fear of losing IQ points!

So the FOL reunion was on last night and the main word to use should be disappointing. So much was promised and like many of my dates, so little was delivered.

First off I was expecting a cross of Jerry Springer with Oprah: You know a brief heart to heart moment and then an “I will cut a bitch” moment. Instead the closest thing to contact was a thrown shoe (“Honestly who throws a shoe?”) and a few brief rushes at the stage. Then of course NY acted hard once the security guards had secured everything to make sure that she was safe.

I was able to call that exact moment because it was blatantly obvious and because I knew peeps like her when I was younger. Mainly because I used to do the same thing, roll with a group and you can take on all comers, roll by yourself and suddenly you will suffer a lot of indignities, then I snapped and became a hot head and decided for a time that even a polite stare was too much (but I was a skinny kid with no outwardly discernible muscle strength so you can guess how long that phase lasted). I always had huge friends; hell one of my friends outweighed me by 80lbs when I was 12…sorry I am off topic, back to FOL.

So apparently someone has convinced NY that she “Looks fabulous”. I do not get it, she appeared last night in an ensemble and a weave that made her look like the wicked witch of the west crossed with the Lion from the Wiz. Her weave was crazy, it looked like she had just gone to the hair dresser and said “make me look like a damn fool”!

So Flav and Deelishus are apparently still together, though I still have a sneaking feeling that Flav is still “Tapping” NY or “Chunking it up” if you would prefer.

Watching Flav kiss women is a disgusting experience; he practically inhales the women’s faces. Apparently he went to a kissing school that said the best way to kiss a woman is by opening your mouth as wide as you possibly can and try and swallow not only her tongue but her nose and the lower part of her eyes. Apparently if your famous you can do anything you want when it comes to romance – including ridiculing yourself, and then snagging multiple tail.

NY now has her own show and it will be titled “I love NY” basically a spin off of FOL, not too sure how that show is going to work out. See as much as I might think Flav is an ugly man and a caricature he had a tonne of charisma and it shone through. He helped to make that show, as can be seen by the fact that they swopped out the entire cast of characters and he still managed to be “The Flavor Man”. A certain amount craziness was needed for that show and it was enjoyable but NY does not have that ability to tone down the craziness that I think Flav had.

NY in my not so humble opinion is completely crazy and this might not be safe for anyone. At some point I can see her honestly killing herself or another chick for looking at ‘her man’.  This may not be safe for people to view, FOL already reduced my IQ at least 10 points (thankfully I am a genius) but I think watching NY have a chance to choose people might drop me down to the intelligence level of, well hell NY herself!

That all being said, I will probably end up at least checking it out!

Friday, October 27, 2006

Some times beer dice gets dangerous

Only so much trash talking can be engaged in re whose school is better before friends come to blows...For the record FLORIDA is inferior to TEXAS as a football school!

The Stare down

The only punch needed...

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

No race, creed, prof or student is safe - A classic in class blog

Ok so there is pretty much no way for me to clean this up: It is so long that I have it broken up into different parts of the blog…enjoy and remember that the participants were young when they had this conversation. (All the participants on reading this again have expressed comments like this: “Wow we were pretty offensive that day!”)

The professors name has been changed…in fact all names have been changed to protect the innocent…(and I mean innocent) be honest though if you know anyone in the clique it becomes blatantly obvious who wrote what, and who the prof was if you went to school with the clique

notquitepc (2:31:44 PM): invite me (to the chat room)
notquitepc (2:33:17 PM): I couldn’t get into the other room
notquitepc (2:33:23 PM): guess I am too dark to cross the border
Delmonico (2:33:25 PM): hottieprof sucks (name of former chat room)wasnt good enough for you?
notquitepc (2:33:34 PM): I need her to swallow
Sandscraper (2:33:51 PM): ooo... review session
Delmonico (2:33:56 PM): did someone break into her house and steal all of her black suits?
Sandscraper (2:34:05 PM): will we be able to review her wardrobe?
notquitepc (2:34:10 PM): she wore a yoga suit
notquitepc (2:34:15 PM): to the alumni event
Sandscraper (2:34:22 PM): a yoga suit?
Delmonico (2:34:23 PM): yoga....thats hot
Sandscraper (2:34:47 PM): should i even bother to open wordperfect today
notquitepc (2:35:26 PM): I opened mine
notquitepc (2:35:32 PM): she has to step her game up
notquitepc (2:35:34 PM): the dean is here
Sandscraper (2:35:37 PM): yay... Congress is doing something substantial about high gas prices... $100 rebate... what the hell? that'll last about a month
notquitepc (2:36:00 PM): I love when u try to make our discussions political
notquitepc (2:36:06 PM): I AM NOT A DAMN HIPPIE
Sandscraper (2:36:21 PM): oh
notquitepc (2:36:33 PM): leave that to peeps like Delmonico
Sandscraper (2:36:37 PM): ha
notquitepc (2:36:38 PM): he is from seattle
notquitepc (2:36:43 PM): they have nothing better to do than bitch
Sandscraper (2:36:49 PM): well, it always rains up there
Sandscraper (2:36:59 PM): when you don't get enough sun you start to care about things
notquitepc (2:37:18 PM): like making sure the boat runs?:
Delmonico (2:37:34 PM): hey, its part of being from seattle
Sandscraper (2:37:55 PM): i'd rather talk about midwest latex with her
Delmonico (2:37:56 PM): we have to bitch or else we get depressed, move to tacoma and kill ourselves
notquitepc (2:38:10 PM): you 2 are sick
Delmonico (2:38:11 PM): we are starting pretty slow
notquitepc (2:38:15 PM): you know she doesn’t use latex
Delmonico (2:38:19 PM): we need to step up the offensiveness
Sandscraper (2:38:22 PM): hahaha
notquitepc (2:38:23 PM): lambskin bitches
Sandscraper (2:38:27 PM): ah!
Delmonico (2:38:30 PM): yeah, she is into pulling out
Delmonico (2:38:37 PM): lambskin aint kosher
Sandscraper (2:38:43 PM): yeah it is
notquitepc (2:38:43 PM): oh damn
notquitepc (2:38:46 PM): it's not?
Sandscraper (2:39:01 PM): where you learning your kosher rules, son?
notquitepc (2:39:03 PM): do they even make that anymore
Sandscraper (2:39:19 PM): they have to for all of those hippies who are against using plastic
Delmonico (2:39:27 PM): yeah i am a little rusty on my kosher
notquitepc (2:39:40 PM): Oh I want her to get rusty on my kosher
notquitepc (2:39:46 PM): man that was so horrid I want to take it back
Sandscraper (2:39:49 PM): haha
Sandscraper (2:40:13 PM): yeah, what's up with us today? is the dean doing some sort of magical ethical thing on us?
notquitepc (2:40:38 PM): that sounds a bit creepy G
Delmonico (2:40:40 PM): do you think the dean gets "benefits" from hottieprof ?
Delmonico (2:40:50 PM): you know for letting her teach
Sandscraper (2:41:03 PM): she isn't doing badly today
Delmonico (2:41:14 PM): i think he just bit his hand and growled at her
Sandscraper (2:41:21 PM): she seems all relaxed... probably got some good stuff from her hubby earlier
notquitepc (2:41:34 PM): hahahah
Delmonico (2:41:35 PM): her hubby huh?
Delmonico (2:41:38 PM): remember that bet?
notquitepc (2:41:41 PM): I went to her office hours
Sandscraper (2:41:47 PM): hahaha
notquitepc (2:41:47 PM): stroked her hair
Sandscraper (2:41:57 PM): what hair?
notquitepc (2:42:02 PM): then pulled it back in that pony tail
Sandscraper (2:42:04 PM): is it blond all the way?
notquitepc (2:42:07 PM): see how it looks messy
notquitepc (2:42:12 PM): come on now
notquitepc (2:42:19 PM): u know she is the SEVERELY shaved type
Sandscraper (2:42:19 PM): just wondering if she's a fake blond
Delmonico (2:42:30 PM): scorched earth
Sandscraper (2:42:34 PM): she definitely seems like she would leave a little pattern down there
notquitepc (2:42:34 PM): definitely
notquitepc (2:42:38 PM): prolly waxes herself
Sandscraper (2:42:40 PM): a sort of Mossad code
notquitepc (2:42:48 PM): nah I imagine that clean
Sandscraper (2:43:03 PM): imagining now? going back on your claims of scandal?
notquitepc (2:43:23 PM): every day I see a new kid in this bloody class
Delmonico (2:43:25 PM): nah i think she has got an employment law statute shaved in down there
notquitepc (2:43:31 PM): BFOQ
Delmonico (2:43:32 PM): that’s hot
notquitepc (2:43:34 PM): beat y'all
Sandscraper (2:43:37 PM): wow... she has a lot of hair down there then
Sandscraper (2:43:41 PM): that's pretty gross
Delmonico (2:43:50 PM): it’s all respectfully trimmed
notquitepc (2:44:02 PM): I have no response to that
Sandscraper (2:44:08 PM): like a big lawn in la jolla?
Sandscraper (2:44:46 PM): dude... the lakers pulled it off last night
Sandscraper (2:44:55 PM): they're on their way to getting beat by the clips in round 2
notquitepc (2:45:08 PM): yeh
notquitepc (2:45:16 PM): will be the greatest series ever
Sandscraper (2:45:20 PM): i know
notquitepc (2:45:21 PM): battle of the whiny fans
Delmonico (2:45:34 PM): i hate la fans
Sandscraper (2:45:36 PM): too bad it'll be right during finals... i would totally go up to see a game if i could get tix
Sandscraper (2:45:46 PM): i know, we're fair weather
Delmonico (2:45:57 PM): seattle fans would be fair weather
Delmonico (2:46:02 PM): but we dont even get fair weather
Sandscraper (2:46:09 PM): but, at least for me, i usually claim to be a clips fan just so that i have an excuse to not know what's going on in the NBA
notquitepc (2:46:37 PM): the title goes through tecas
Sandscraper (2:47:03 PM): does the title always go through texas if there's one texas team in the playoffs?
notquitepc (2:47:34 PM): ALWAYS
notquitepc (2:47:39 PM): listen clips fan
notquitepc (2:47:43 PM): when u win a series
notquitepc (2:47:48 PM): then start pretending to talk smack
Delmonico (2:47:56 PM): not at all concerned that they barely beat the kings with out artest are you?
Sandscraper (2:47:57 PM): hey! i'm satisfied with my team's generally lackluster performance
notquitepc (2:48:10 PM): we hit them by 35 with him
notquitepc (2:48:18 PM): Bring his retarded ass back
Sandscraper (2:48:28 PM): i'm not talking smack... i'm just wondering what the hell you're talking about with "the title goes through tecas (sic)"
notquitepc (2:48:38 PM): artest is one year away from bringing a gun to an arena
Delmonico (2:48:51 PM): one year?
Delmonico (2:48:54 PM): ten minutes
Delmonico (2:49:00 PM): if its not already there
notquitepc (2:49:16 PM): Mr Artest u need to leave that in the trunk
Delmonico (2:49:17 PM): though i see him using something craziert
notquitepc (2:49:17 PM): what?
notquitepc (2:49:22 PM): F U
notquitepc (2:49:24 PM): F U
notquitepc (2:49:26 PM): POW
Delmonico (2:49:26 PM): maybe a bow and arrow or a crossbow?


Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Sorry this one isnt updated

because I updated the roomie blog. On the Roomie blog I just wrote the longest blog post that I have ever authored for anyone so Diggity better be honored! It's a long read but so damn worth it.

Authoring 2 blogs is not as easy as I thought, and especially not that easy when you have so much material for one of the blogs.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

The pictures issue

I know I promised a pix blog will prolly still get to it eventually, but I have figured out in many cases why there are so many bloody pictures; I just found a group of pictures (19 in all) and they are all pictures of my beard at different angles, in a few I had stenciled my initials into the beard

A blog preview

Long time readers might remember some of my in class blogs. Well I found a convo that occured between some friends during a class that is so filthy that it will have to be cleaned before it can ever be posted and I have to get permission from the participants...but it was so damn funny that I nearly fell out of bed reading it. The stuff that was said about the dean and one of our professors left tears in my eyes. Hopefully my friends will give me permission to post it, cause the world should share in this moment!

Saturday, October 21, 2006

I am too young to have a heart attack.

So I realized a few truths today:
  • The reason that football is much more popular in the South than the west is because kids in the west get Saturday morning cartoons on every bloody channel

  • Kids in the South start there mornings with Football games on 3 of the 5 major channels and can find cartoons on the other 2.

  • The Texas game was the national morning game on ABC here in SD there was some Disney  Channel crap

  • I will sacrifice a lot for football, including walking 3/4s of a mile to a bar at 11pm to inquire if they would have the football game on in the morning

  • I then woke up at 8am to head to a bar to watch football

  • We all know what happens in bars

  • I realized that I will talk trash to anyone anywhere anytime

  • EVEN if I am the only Texas person there

  • It would be safer for me to stop watching football when I turn 60 or so, at this pace maybe 50


  • I learned that my breaking point is the 4th quarter of a football game after listening to Nebraska fans talk smack all morning about my presence as a Texas fan in a bar dominated by Nebraska folk.

  • Apparently hearing the same idiot repeatedly ask “Why is he here?” Will cause me to eventually lose it and taunt his table with the words “Look dick, we have a national title, we own you in football, no one can find your state on a map, and just because you are up in this game does not mean you will win it because you are Nebraska and What the hell is a cornhusker you damn hick?”

  • I would be better served counting the number of people I am smack talking to first and capping my number at about 5.

  • The one cute girl that was in Nebraska left, she was at the bar this morning

  • Some girls are just naturally, exhibitionists.

Let me elaborate on some things:
The heart attack comment:
Watching the game today, I literally went crazy for an hour. Texas had been dominating the game and then hit a brain freeze moment. For awhile it looked like Nebraska was going to win and I lost it. I was screaming, dancing around the bar, jumping up and down in the same spot and basically just acting the fool. If I had done that anywhere but a sports bar I would currently be in the ‘loony’ bin. It was so bad that a patron warned me that I might get kicked out of the bar if I didn’t calm down; which of course if you know me I could only reply in one fashion “Shut the hell up I am watching the damn game…step to me again and I will beat you like Texas is about to beat your team” Classy guy I am. (No I was not looking for a fight that is just how fans should talk to each other).

I seriously think that it is not safe for me to watch games as I get older, my heart cannot take it. My heart kept racing for almost an hour after the game I was that excited. When it looked for a second that we might lose, I actually sank to my knees in shock because I was so distraught – one should not get that way over a game, but it happens! The power cut off on UT’s final that would determine who would win the game – I screamed ran out of the bar to try and get a cell phone signal, ran back in to borrow a GSM phone and called my ex.

I had thought about purchasing the game, but thought better of it because I knew I might sacrifice my roomie to the Texas cause if she tried to move for the remote to change the channel, and also because she has an annoying habit in the middle of games to get up, stand infront of the TV arms akimbo to talk to her target and believe me that is not a wise thing to do during my game viewing.

Exhibitionist girls:
Anyone who has ever gone to a bar early in the morning (before 10am) knows that it is usually the hard core drinker types that are there that early. Well at about 9am 2 coeds walked in, probably barely 21 (more likely than not, younger with fake ids). There were hotties no doubt about it, but what caused all chatter in the bar to cease is that they came in wearing pajamas. Now remember I live on the beach so it is not unusual to see weird outfits at the bar, but these girls came in PJs and not the flannel “oh this looks like a shirt and pants type” they came in the “Hey if a boy is coming over tonight I should wear this to let him know what the goods look like type” Sheer and transparent was the order of the day. One girls nipples were so clear and sharply defined, I think I now know how many bumps are on it. They of course were sans underwear and it was clear that for both the carpets do match the curtains. To finally put it all in perspective the girl sitting at the table next to me muttered this “Effing strippers” that summed it all up…

GO HORNS GO! Good night!

Friday, October 20, 2006

Streaks that I love

"Texas has been ranked in the coaches' poll for 128 straight weeks, the longest current streak in the nation, and nearly 50 weeks longer than the next-longest current streak, of 79, held by Georgia." Dave Revsine

Of weapons and hairbrushes

Something spooked our dogs tonight to the point that they started barking incessantly. This lead to me leaping out of bed and grabbing weapons. I have a brand new putter though I have never played a round of golf in my life (figure it out). My roomie also grabbed a club because he was awoken by the noise too, and we went investigating (I know peeps say you should not do that but to be honest I would at least like a chance to take a swing than to get cornered in my room) thing is as we were investigating I looked down and realized that I had a golf club (suitable weapon) in my right hand and a hair brush in my left (a complete “what the hell is this” weapon). Why I grabbed the hair brush, I cannot explain.

As my roomie said when we both realized what I was holding: “Did you plan on kicking their ass and then making them pretty for the cops?”

I cannot explain the hair brush choice, but I still feel that I would have been deadly with it, should anyone have poked their head in my door at 3am, even if the worst thing I did was give them a coif that they could not be pleased with.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

To my loyal readers, I had slacked off due to work commitments

To make up for it I have posted back to back posts on to make up for my slackness! Apologies to Diggity

The "HO-zone" layer is going to be thick next Friday night!

USD LAW School is offering a prize for the Sexiest Halloween costume…hmm! Really, do we really need to encourage the young ladies to compete for the sexiest costume? Someone please tell me that we are going to add a stripper pole in the middle of the writs the Friday of Halloween so that we can hold open auditions prior to the party!

Never forget: “The tribe of extreme has risen again!”

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Crazy end to FOL

So I got called out and rightfully so for not posting a blog update to the latest FOL…in my defense I really had wanted to give more peeps time to view the madness that my friends and I witnessed on Sunday. If you do not want to know the results of the episode, I suggest you stop reading now, I also suggest that you have never read my blog b4 since I always give FOL updates so this was not a safe site to check with that all out of the way.

NY did not win! Which lead to a classic moment in TV: There is the black phrase of “Showing your ass” i.e. acting up/unruly etc and NY when Flav rejected her decided to take it to a literal meaning. Many have suggested that she is just acting for the cameras, and while I do believe that to a certain degree she is, I also firmly believe that she is genuinely crazy. I mentioned last week that my greatest fear was that she and Flav would reproduce, his not picking her lessens those chances but the fear remains because no one can convince me that NY and Flav use condoms when they “Chunk it up all night”

During the episode Flav warned NY that he did now want a woman commanding him all the time and he dropped a hint to the audience that if NY acted like her mom she would be booted. On their date Flav reminded NY that she should not act like her mom and what does NY immediately do ACTS LIKE HER DAMN MOMMA – nature vs nurture is not a debate in that family: NY has combined both it is who she is and it is how she was raised: The term bitch is thrown around too much in society and I have made a conscious effort to limit my use of the term (have not succeeded as well as my efforts to never say “Fuck or shit” in conversation, in speech or in public – that has gone 14 years now) however while watching FOL I constantly find myself staring at the screen and saying the words “wow that is a crazy bitch!” when either NY or her mom are on screen…

Quick digression I used the word ‘wow’ above but thanks to Flav I think I may start to limit my use of that term also. I have never heard a grown man use that word so much nor have I ever seen it drawn out for a minute woooooooooooooowwww…you get the picture – in the scene when Flav receives the cane from the Belize tourism group (a mark against that country in my travel plans) Flav says wow for so long that when the camera shows the face of the Belize rep he looks like he cannot believe that he drew that assignment. Props to Flav for finding a way to hold the cane backwards despite the fact that it was clearly designed to be only held one way – the man is a genius and I expect him to be up for a Nobel Prize next year, anything less is a travesty!

I loved NY pretending for what looked like about 10 minutes that she would not sleep with Flav the night b4 elimination. As soon as she initially told him that she would not sleep with him and started to walk to her room I said this to my boy “I bet she goes to her room and walks right back to Flav”. Her only major delay was for her to pack an overnight bag. I did not see that one coming, guess she needed crazy pills.

K so it is no secret that I am an intensely private person (even with a blog I still keep much hidden) hell my doctor still has not seen me naked (screw her for turning down that date…so what if it was awkward – kidding). But I do know for a fact that no one in my family has seen me naked since I was about 10 in fact I have maintained that if any of my parents fall ill I will have to get a full time nurse because I will not be able to do things like bathe a parent – not because I do not love them but because that is just not what we do as a family, nudity is just not ok with us. So maybe I am not the best to judge on what is normal nude behavior, BUT I cannot imagine that most families with 23 year old daughters have conversations between the mother and daughter that involve the daughter topless and arguing with the mom like NY did unless the conversation has words like “Does this feel like a lump” or “Is it normal for it to look like this” (Again I do not know if peeps normally talk to their parents nude, I can only say that for me it just seemed weird )

I loved NY alternately going from being friendly to Deelishus (My poor MSN word keeps making alternative word suggestions for that word) and trying to be the world’s skinniest big bitch to her, especially since at that point nothing she could do to D would affect Flav’s decision. I think that is part of the definition of being a bitch, just doing something bitchy for the hell of it, when there does not seem to be any gain to be had.

If you have read this blog anytime recently, you know that I love the chicken noodle soup dance, even if the songs lyrics are just plain retarded (funny though). But my new favorite dance is the dance that Flav did while mocking NY’s mom and gesturing towards NY…it is a combination of fanning your genitals while scratching to remove crabs all in one fluid motion  (the dance may have been borne out of a practical need). NY’s dance in response to Flav was awesome, though not the biggest fan of NY I was shocked and pleased to see that the gyal cyan whine. She did that slow grind to the floor like a certified Ho-fessional. If the reality TV thing does not work out I can definitely see her gracing the floor of Scores we already know she has G strings that can fit dollar bills.

The thing is, the person I feel most concerned about in this whole situation is not even a contestant, it is Deelishus’ daughter. Because this means that her mom is crazy enough to date Flav and Flav might now be a part of her life. Wait a minute who am I kidding, Flav is not even a part of his own kids’ lives – there is no way he takes charge of another.

Some Flavisms that I love:
“She make a brotha feel real goooood!”
“That was really broootaful” – beautiful the uneducated (or to the highly educated)
“SNOREEEEE” I have never seen a man fall asleep on so many dates – must be good to know that no matter what you do on the date you are guaranteed to get laid.
“Let me turn my clock around so that I can hug you” (when your outfit requires that you adjust a wall clock so that you can comfort or show affection it is time for you to reexamine it)
“NY you need to get the fuck out of here” So granted it is not a Flavism as such since I only heard him use it once, somehow I imagined millions across America cheering and repeating those words.

By the way for a show that so many claim to ‘scorn’ it gets HUGE ratings and very few people are ignorant of it. Like Chris Rocks analogy with the Spice Girls and crack: No one admits to using but millions are addicted.

You might have noticed not much is said about D here, but lets be honest the show was dominated by Flav and NY…no one really cares if D and Flav live happily ever after, in fact we do not expect it but we were all intrigued with what Flav and NY would do next…well next for NY is her own show! I am not sure if I will be able to stomach watching that…though I probably will to see if she becomes the first person to ever be taken of her own show for a mental breakdown!

Cheers to a great season of FOL and hopes that the reunion show will not disappoint.
Quick note: in the preview Buckwild is shown throwing something at NY. What is up with white girls constantly trying to pick fights with NY from a distance? (And did she not see what happened to Pumkin). NY is crazy and you cannot fight crazy unless you are also crazy hence the other clip that shows Bootz chasing after NY – that I can understand, cause I wouldn’t put it past Bootz or Bucky “to cut a ho!”

A Picture Share!

View from my train as I head back to San Diego. I love Cali.

Things I learned partying for fashion week in Hollywood…

  • When a ‘celebrity is rolling with his entourage, pushing him out of the way to get to the restroom is not the best idea

  • Staring at a girl and licking your lips (albeit unconsciously) is definitely a come hither technique

  • When your friends drink a lot – “Man I could get my ass kicked for saying this” is not capable of being whispered by them

  • A party hosted by rappers tends to have some hot females!

  • The black guy from Reno 911 is not as tall as I thought he was

  • The black guy from Reno 911 is as cool as he seems on TV

  • The black guy from Reno 911 has chicks throwing their panties at him

  • The black guy from Reno 911 is cool with people coming up and saying “Hey this might be a bad question but…are you on TV”

  • The black guy from Reno 911 is pretty damn recognizable and is cool with being called “The black guy from Reno 911”

  • I look damn good in Canary yellow…glad I went with that and not sea foam green

  • Rolling to the club with the WHITE GUY is awesome…so often in San Diego I am THE BLACK GUY it was kind of funny to watch my friend become the minority in the club

  • Watching my friend stare at “black bootie” was worth standing in line even though we were on the guest list

  • Greg’s addition “The girl in the white shirt was hot, that’s all that I can remember”

The Black guy from Reno 911

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

What the hell is happening in College Football?

Fights every week and arrests Brawls, riots look at what this guy is doing, the opponent is on the ground with his helmet off and yet still he delivers a kick...

And of course the now classic fight footage hate to say is since it will sound like I condone the fight, but damn it I am pretty certain that if I was in a fight my teammates would jump in and vice just got extremely ugly here!

Ab abusu ad usum non valet consequential

I am becoming more and more wary of Americans and American celebrities going to “poor countries” and ‘adopting’ babies. Something about the process leaves me queasy, I think much of it is the whole feeling of something that is too easily acquired is not as easily prized.

I also look at some of the parents that are adopting and I am so nervous about how these kids will turn out…Angelina Jolie (remember the blood vial necklaces, the taking another woman’s man and the all around general craziness of her life plus her family history with her own dad) Madonna (do I have to list all the crazy things not least among them her adopting a British accent after spending only 2 weeks in Britain) and Michael Jackson…

This one needs its own paragraph…Now I do not know for certain if he ever diddled any of those kids that accused him, in fact I feel some of those were blatant lies: I do know that nothing on earth could persuade me to ever leave a kid at MJ’s house and that includes the kids of my enemies. In fact I am wary of even taking a kid with me if I went to MJ’s house and that would be with me there. But truth to ALL the rumors or not MJ is not at this point someone who should be able to get a child, yet he may soon adopt a new kid from the ‘third world’ because of course no reputable American agency would let him adopt here. By the way I find it hard to believe that he is dressing in drag and going out shopping.

Thing is, I am sure there is much good in programs that allow people to adopt children that are impoverished etc but in many ways I see so much potential for abuse and in so many of these stories I read that the celebrity was allowed to circumvent the rules by paying out high amounts of cash…it just worries me!

Yo Meatball!

This is tonight's party..."Confirmed & Special Invited Celebrity Guests Include:
Lil Jon, Too Short, Polow (Producer for Fergie, PCD's), Terry Kennedy, Tony Rock, Damien Wayans, George Gore II, Deray Davis, Maurice Green and more...."

How do you like the fact that, that list appears to be a list starting with "Oh cool lil John" and descending to "Who the hell is Deray Davis? and Maurice Green the runner?"

A game I hate and love

This damn game, I have not beaten it yet. In fact I have not played it for about 7 months just because I needed a break from it, so far the best I have ever done is 8 maxed out of the 10. It is great for in class play though which is why I had to step away from it. Between it and the literati it was really slowing down my in class blogging.

You know it is a good work week night...

When your friends and colleagues are passed out on the living room floor and in beds and it has nothing to do with fatigue,...Here's to free booze and appetizers at album release parties...and here's to mid week free parties

Monday, October 16, 2006

In class blogging continued...

DAR-KER (3:10:37 PM): did u just say darkie?
DAR-KEY(3:11:30 PM): it's the darkie vs. the Jew for best milf of the year!
DAR-KER (3:11:38 PM): oh man
DAR-KER (3:11:44 PM): you are going to hell
DAR-KEY(3:11:48 PM): i know, on the fast track
WHY-T (3:11:23 PM): i feel like she should be wearing one of those ridiculous horse riding helmets and have the little baton thingy
WHY-T (3:12:00 PM): how many people in this class actually pay attention?
DAR-KEY(3:12:08 PM): i'm totally paying attention to her boobs
WHY-T (3:12:25 PM): like i said earlier she is disappointingly unracktackular
WHY-T (3:14:06 PM): she just got off her horse
DAR-KER (3:14:26 PM): you have an unhealthy equestrian fascination
DAR-KEY(3:14:41 PM): dude... yeah, man...
WHY-T (3:14:44 PM): it’s her fucking pants no one has pants that ride that high anymore
WHY-T (3:15:05 PM): i am not even sure they make them anymore
DAR-KEY(3:15:09 PM): she wants to show off her ass
WHY-T (3:15:21 PM): she should get an ass then
DAR-KER (3:16:21 PM): you know I have got to work on not having such an incredulous look when peeps volunteer in this class
DAR-KEY(3:16:32 PM): yeah, man
WHY-T (3:16:45 PM): just stop paying attention altogether
WHY-T (3:16:50 PM): that’s my technique
DAR-KER (3:18:09 PM): $10 to the guy who slaps her on the ass
DAR-KER (3:18:16 PM): when you walk up there
WHY-T (3:18:31 PM): just give her an ass slap and say good lecture
DAR-KEY(3:18:32 PM): oh my GOD... i think that's a way to not graduate
WHY-T (3:18:37 PM): act like it is totally normal
DAR-KER (3:18:38 PM): name your price
DAR-KER (3:18:40 PM): I will pay
DAR-KEY(3:18:52 PM): $35,000 for another year of law school
DAR-KER (3:18:58 PM): uh
DAR-KER (3:19:01 PM): maybe not that high
DAR-KEY(3:19:02 PM): actually $100K for another three years at another law school
WHY-T (3:19:19 PM): plus attorney fees for the resultant lawsuit
DAR-KER (3:19:42 PM): LY-TER: dude, i will pay too
WHY-T (3:21:22 PM): i hope the people behind either 1. cant read this, or 2, arent offended by this
WHY-T (3:21:32 PM): 3. actually i dont care
DAR-KER (3:24:37 PM): in regards to the picture: LY-TER: that's a good question, what is she holding? i'm thinking vandersexxx all of a suddn
WHY-T (3:25:04 PM): nice eurotrip reference
DAR-KER (3:25:32 PM): care to yawn a bit louder?
DAR-KEY(3:25:42 PM): haha
DAR-KEY(3:25:44 PM): yes
DAR-KER (3:25:53 PM): why not raise your hands above your head
DAR-KER (3:25:56 PM): and stretch
DAR-KER (3:25:58 PM): while doing it
DAR-KER (3:26:05 PM): and dont 4get to SCRATCH
WHY-T (3:26:18 PM): and a booyeah
WHY-T (3:27:36 PM): i swear to god if you ask about it i will fucking end you
DAR-KER (3:27:37 PM): why do I suddenly feel unsafe
DAR-KEY(3:27:38 PM): i think we can squash him
DAR-KER (3:27:47 PM): Is this the 60's
DAR-KEY(3:27:50 PM): because you're surrounded by ENEMIES
DAR-KER (3:27:53 PM): Y'all know my peeps are FREE
WHY-T (3:27:56 PM): it may have to be
DAR-KEY(3:28:00 PM): free to die, bitch!
DAR-KER (3:28:02 PM): separate but equal
WHY-T (3:28:35 PM): protect fellow slackers
DAR-KER (3:28:59 PM): I think I may have to leave
WHY-T (3:29:01 PM): plus your lack of mustachioedness is disappointing after regaling you with the WBC (editor’s note - world beard championship)
DAR-KEY(3:29:04 PM): i've just been looking for an excuse for a few months now so it's not upgraded to a hate crime
DAR-KER (3:29:14 PM): oh man
DAR-KER (3:29:22 PM): all 3 of us just laughed as she looked up
WHY-T (3:29:31 PM): and we have entered that zone that we have insulted every possible sensibility
WHY-T (3:29:36 PM): wait except for midgets
WHY-T (3:29:39 PM): fucking midgets
DAR-KEY(3:29:43 PM): midgets?
DAR-KEY(3:29:45 PM): what?
WHY-T (3:29:50 PM): wait
WHY-T (3:29:56 PM): i cant say any-thing bad about midgets
WHY-T (3:30:01 PM): they are always funny
DAR-KEY(3:30:05 PM): yeah, man, they don't have to go down as far
DAR-KER (3:30:15 PM): and the leader in the club house
WHY-T (3:30:20 PM): and we have officially antagonized everyone
WHY-T (3:30:29 PM): wow
WHY-T (3:30:33 PM): that was impressive
DAR-KER (3:30:38 PM): how many times is the girl in-front of me going to look back
DAR-KER (3:30:44 PM): we have bashed races
DAR-KER (3:30:47 PM): ethnicities
DAR-KER (3:30:49 PM): dorks
DAR-KER (3:30:51 PM): what’s left?
DAR-KEY(3:30:56 PM): women?
DAR-KEY(3:30:57 PM): oh wait
WHY-T (3:31:24 PM): yeah they lost the genetic lottery
WHY-T (3:35:42 PM): i doubt that he has much of a midget readership they can’t reach the keyboard to type in the website
DAR-KEY(3:36:01 PM): yeah, they probably can't see over the desks
WHY-T (3:36:02 PM): with their wee little hands and their trex arms
DAR-KER (3:36:22 PM): you 2 should be banned from the net
Some new kid suddenly appeared to give a presentation
DAR-KER (3:36:41 PM): Seriously Who is this kid talking
WHY-T (3:36:53 PM): is he even in this class
DAR-KER (3:36:56 PM): it's like we have a guest speaker
WHY-T (3:36:58 PM): or did he just show up today
DAR-KEY(3:37:03 PM): where was he sitting?
WHY-T (3:37:13 PM): fuck if i know
DAR-KER (3:37:13 PM): behind you in the spare seat I don’t think he even has a spot…HE OWNS THE SUPPLEMENT?
DAR-KEY(3:37:30 PM): hm there's a supplement?
DAR-KER (3:37:40 PM): now I know he isn’t in this class
WHY-T (3:38:05 PM): he probably just slept at a holiday inn express
DAR-KER (3:38:32 PM): Am I wrong for thinking the AZN chick would be so tappable if she put on make up and smiled
WHY-T (3:38:48 PM): i dont think she knows what a smile is
DAR-KER (3:38:53 PM): 2 out of 3 of those chicks I would sling mad dick to
WHY-T (3:39:16 PM): that is more true than you might imagine
DAR-KEY(3:39:26 PM): cept for people of your creed, they're all good to me
WHY-T (3:39:57 PM): we have crossed a record number of lines today
DAR-KER (3:40:05 PM): do u see how long that neck is?
WHY-T (3:40:05 PM): we should be proud of what we have accomplished
DAR-KER (3:40:09 PM): u know what that means
DAR-KER (3:40:10 PM): DEEP
DAR-KER (3:40:14 PM): finish it for me
WHY-T (3:40:15 PM): she is susceptible to choke holds
DAR-KER (3:40:36 PM): as to crossing lines
DAR-KER (3:40:42 PM): we are practically illegals by now
WHY-T (3:41:07 PM): yeah, but i am unwilling to pick apples
WHY-T (3:41:12 PM): or hang out at hoome depot
DAR-KER (3:41:58 PM): this chick is doing hand gestures
WHY-T (3:42:05 PM): yeah
DAR-KER (3:42:06 PM): she did the how big is it move
DAR-KER (3:42:16 PM): that’s the nut cupper
DAR-KER (3:42:56 PM): is that chic wearing a skirt? That’s awesome skirts are hot
DAR-KEY(3:43:11 PM): she's cute
DAR-KER (3:43:13 PM): u can lift them up
WHY-T (3:43:23 PM): that cracks me up
DAR-KER (3:44:04 PM): she is a ho
DAR-KER (3:44:07 PM): look at that tan line
DAR-KER (3:44:16 PM): she moves her top to try to tan evenly
DAR-KER (3:45:08 PM): you are kidding
DAR-KER (3:45:49 PM): Did you tap her?
WHY-T (3:45:58 PM): not that you know
DAR-KER (3:46:01 PM): hahahah
DAR-KER (3:46:04 PM): so thats a yes?
WHY-T (3:46:10 PM): i was durnk
DAR-KER (3:46:11 PM): nice
WHY-T (3:46:15 PM): really drunk
DAR-KER (3:46:26 PM): nice rack
DAR-KEY(3:46:31 PM): good job!

A mini banter between some of the participants prior to the main event
Dar-ker (2:36:20 PM): hahahah
Dar-ker (2:42:42 PM): did the lime tree you stole that shirt from retaliate by giving u that dark streak across the front?
Dar-key (2:43:03 PM): WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU????
Dar-ker (2:43:53 PM): dude that is a LIME GREEN SHIRT
Dar-key (2:44:54 PM): and you wear pink
Darker (2:44:59 PM): Touche

Saturday, October 14, 2006

I am often asked by peeps when I get mad about racism...

What do I know about the struggle? Or Didn't you go to UT that school has a lot of black students... Well truth is, as much as I LOVED TEXAS I still recognized much of its faults and this incident from our law school is just an indication of the problems my school still faces.

I have chosen in my life in America to live in 2 of the whitest cities in America and have loved my time in both but that does not mean that I am blind to the social ills of first night ever in San Diego I was called a nigger "Welcome to the south"?

I may not be a soldier on the frontline of the race war but I am keenly aware that people are still stupid. I say stupid because RACISTS ARE STUPID...

I cannot imagine being racist (if you have seen my track record of dating you will know that I am doing my part to mingle the races as much as possible) it just seems dumb to think that someone is inferior just because of their skin color (gender maybe - sorry couldn't resist the jab: WNBA still sucks). No one is inferior because of their race, learn that and you will have a better life.

(And I do not believe, that women are inferior - I have to say that because I know that what I said above will be completely ignored and I will be attacked for hating women - Love y'all, call me I am free and back in SD, Wednesday night $2 you call its)

Friday, October 13, 2006

A Picture Share!

My current speed on the HIGHWAY. You have to love cali. Only a good friend could get me to do this

A Picture Share!

Bit scary now.

A Picture Share!

City planners in la. Think she likes pink?

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Finally an update to...

Diggity Dogg's blog aka

Love Thursday

So Kami posts a pix every Thursday of peeps showing love/Affection, I have too many pictures to go through but this I think works as a starter

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

How does a Plane get into Manhattan?

Yankee pitcher Cory Lidle died today when he crashed his small plane into a 50 story condominium on Manhattan's upper east side.

Indeed it is a tragedy, but the scary thing is the questions that it leaves us.

R.I.P. Bevo XIII

The Bevo I call my Bevo; since he was the mascot I knew my college years has died. I love that this is a story on ESPN and I love that they mentioned what he did to Nebraska's logo!

Oh well at least he will not be eaten like the original Bevo was taken care off

May have to create a new blog

So I loaded Adobe photoshop on the good ole lappy and foumd over 3000 pictures and just skimming through the first couple hundred or so I found myself laughing so hard that I realized at some point I have to share more of these with the world. There are some crazy pictures of all my friends from the ATX days to the Europe trip to all the bars that we as a group have visited.

- There could be an entire slide show of just crazy faces that Sand Assassin makes
- There is definitely room for a Cali-J "mean mugging" section
- There is the "did my boy really hook up with that chick" section
- Near to my heart there is the "She was cute, what the hell happened section"
--- Please note that this section can mean what the hell happened to make her now look like that or what the hell happened I am an idiot for not starting a relationship/sustaining a relationship or getting in a relationship
- There is also a section called "Please take me back"
- So many of my peeps just look plastered in some of the pictures and some have the hand up to the camera in the desperate "Please do not take me looking like this" however in so many of them the person was too drunk to accurately block the picture...
- There also happens to be a whole section of public nudity (I went to school in a liberal college town) I do not think that, that portion will make the blog...private nudity well that is another story

The more I think about this the more I realize that I will have to post some of these pictures

Just an example of the joy that could be the way I know this is a horrible pix but I had to suffer so now you do too!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Ah Halloween approaches

The time when women can dress like whores and get away with it...yes it might not be PC to say it, but if you doubt me scan whatever halloween party you attend this year. The best part about it, is the costumes are definitely encouraged - "the sluttier the better." I know for a fact that the last few times I have been stopped by female cops they did not have fuzzy handcuffs, skin tight uniforms and boobs scrunched so tight that they could "pop out of a turtle neck".

But we guys are just as bad, so many pimp outfits show up that night...real pimps must be so proud.

An amazing video, a cyclist outruns cops on a highway!

I wish I had this guy's speed on a bike!

Monday, October 09, 2006

Happy Birthday DAD!


Props to AL for his post

On Myroomie is crazy I completely agree that when your results come out, the lover should be lower on the list than parents and friends!

Not a great episode of FOL since it was all recap stuff

But I did learn something new...this show keeps you on your toes. I had never before heard of Pigeon Milk and when NY's dad said it last night I thought he was just drunk but apparently it is legit! The man is so hen pecked it is no wonder he wants to drink Pigeon's milk

Wonder if that goes well with my "Chicken noodle soup with a soda on the side"

Sunday, October 08, 2006

I will never understand women!

Losing a friend sucks: Having to delete them from your phone because you now know that you cannot communicate sucks; but having to do that knowing that you have not done anything wrong makes everything feel worse.

Saturday, October 07, 2006


WE KILLED OU! Colt McCoy has become a cult hero.

My prediction holds true!

I have maintained for years that the Yankees will never win a World Series with A - Rod!

Horrible parents...

Parents need to stop naming their kids after their obsessions

Thanks for the link Minh

R.I.P. Buck O' Neil

Great baseball pioneer, who should be in the H.O.F.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Heard a brand new Tupac track today...and some people should not park cars

Nearly crashed the car when the announcer said, here is that new Tupac produced by Swizz beats. Oh Biggie if you had only spent more time in the studios and less time at Red lobster we could have had so much more new music from you also.

When I got to LA peeps were telling me how tough it would be to drive here, but after living in Jamaica and driving in SD, LA seems rather tame. The only 2 crazy incidents I have seen have both occurred with women (not trying to be sexist but they were too funny not to post)

Incident 1. I stopped at a red light and while waiting there all of a sudden my car shuddered from an impact, I looked right to see this woman jogger coming towards me, coming, coming and then wham…she ran right into my stopped car. Now bear in mind I am not even the car in the cross walk, I am the 2nd car, so this meant that she left the cross walk to cut through cars and managed to hit mine. She must have no depth perception at all, because she did not appear to veer at all. She hit so hard that she was slumped over the car and the car shook – thankfully it is a rental or I would have been pissed, instead all I could do was laugh.

Incident 2. Parking lot:
You know those yellow mini curbs that they have at parking spots to stop your wheels so that u do not pull up too far. Well this lady pulled up and at first was just edging up. I paused to let her get in the space as I was walking to my car. She edged all the way up till her wheels gently touched the curb. Then a look of confusion came over her face, and she revved the engine. The car is of course now straining against the curb. She then seems to snap. She puts the car in reverse and peels backwards nearly hitting this lady pushing her cart. She then stops about a car length back from the spot, stares hard at it (in my mind I am thinking “NO WAY is she going to do what I think”) she then slams on the gas and pulls forward so hard and fast that the wheels of course slam into the curb and jump it. This cause the front of the car to lift up and then fall back down to earth with the front wheels now in front of the curb and she barely misses slamming into the wall. She then gets out of her car and calmly closes the door and walks off.

I stand and stare for a bit because I just saw a fairly new BMW treated like it was a rally car and I am for the life of me trying to figure out what she is going to do when she is ready to leave. I was so tempted to just sit there and wait for her to come back and get the car but curses to the working life I had to go about my business.

I know I have only been in LA a few days, but hey maybe that is what passes for parking here in West Hollywood!

Teachers packing HEAT!

I wonder if the rest of his party is wishing that he had not said anything!

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

A Picture Share!

Ah los angeles traffic where it takes me one hour to travel exactly 5.2 miles. At least i get to stare at this guy revving his engine and going nowhere.

Diggity wrote his first post

I am rather proud of him!

Clearly there should be a test

Before some people should be allowed to become parents! I bet they next ban carrying brown bag lunches because they promote racial tensions.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

FOL update, NY better not win!

First let me note, my boys and I now watch this like we are watching the Superbowl, we laugh, we cringe at big hits and we pause it if we have to do something mundane like take a leak.

So off the bat I knew this was going to be a great episode, how could it not be, NY’s mom was coming back? She hated Flav and we all know it (in this episode her words to Flav “You are trying to destroy me!”)

So Flav brought out all his kids to meet the girls and their parents. To be honest I felt a bit sickened by this because it felt like exploitation, especially knowing the fact that flav has been less than stellar with his child support payments it was not good seeing his kids on his show. But then I heard the names of the kids and it made it all worthwhile.

NY is by far the craziest woman on earth and her mom is the bitchiest! A lot of peeps claim this “Oh now I see why NY is the way she is” Ok yes that is true we see where it comes from but it does not excuse her actions. I do love that they kept replaying her sounds from last weeks “Chunking” incident. How are you going to talk to the man’s kids and use the phrase “I am the HBIC” Damn fool!

No shock that Krazy is out of there, guess there goes all that studio money…I give it 2 months before she is a ‘video ho’ my boy G predicts that she is never heard from again.

I truly want Flav to pick Deelishus, not because I care so much about her future with flav and blah blah etc, but rather because I am afraid of what kids made by Flav and NY would be like…the world is not ready for that yet

Mr. Foley you are a dirty old man

So Drudge report I am not, hell I am probably hours late on this one, but SA sent me this link and it is a part of the story that I had not yet seen.

He exchanged sex-IMs with little boys while voting was being done on the floor of congress!

I read a few of the IMs and then could read no more...there is a click to read more portion but I refuse to click for more, I already feel dirty after the first batch

To all fans of beer

Start crying! Sand Assassin sent this to me, something tells me his keyboard is soaked in tears.

Working sucks

Even more so when its 2am and you still have crap to do...will blog about F.O.L. deserves a moment when I have more than 10 minutes to spare. If you have not seen this week's episode I urge you to see it, it is a study in family values

And in the no one saw this coming bracket

I nominate Bobby Brown's latest arrest!

Monday, October 02, 2006

Today's lunch

"Chicken noodle soup, with a soda on the side" DJ Webstar

I actually had that for lunch and of course now I am starving...if you have not heard that song you should check it out and here is a vid of it

My jamaican peeps might recognize the 'let it rain portion'

Saturday, September 30, 2006

So though I have lived a long time in Cali

I have never really spent any time in LA. But for all of next week I will be in the land that is often called La la land. I will be kicking it with Delz and I am sure both SA's will be around. Here is to me hoping in advance that I make it back in one piece...I prolly will since I have to go up there for work but working has never stopped our clique from enjoying my LA folks 'Holla at yo bwoy I am interested in checking out new spots etc'

Blog Archive

About Me

My photo
Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.