Infrequently updated consistently funny

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Of dog walking, and excessively fat dogs

So I walked a dog for the first time ever in America. It was an issue of necessity since no one else was available to do it. Many people think I hate animals; that is not true (I am a zoologist after all): I hate the adjustments that come with having animals. Like if you have an apartment you have to walk the dog constantly and the poor dog has to remain cooped up while you are at work etc. When I was a kid we had tonnes of dogs but we also had an acre of land for them to roam on so it was never an issue of cleaning up behind them or worrying if they had enough space.

The dog in my condo is a 130lb Golden Retriever (note that is an obese dog) who gets so little exercise. I took the dog for the walk and started jogging to get the dog some exercise (even though I was tire from riding my bike for a couple hours) and the dog started panting before I did. As a general rule if something gets tired doing anything aerobic before I get fatigued it is unfit.

Anyway I had to pick the dog’s feces up in the plastic bag and damn that must have been an amusing sight for anyone watching. I have never walked a dog before because the thought of having to pick up after it has always disgusted me. So to pick the feces up I spread the bag over the excrement and then basically dug into the ground on both sides of it taking up a chunk of the sod with the product and then dashed to the nearest trash receptacle. Though I was no where close to touching the excrement I felt dirty for the entire rest of the walk and was just amazed (slightly disgusted) at the fact that my roomies routinely just grab the feces up with the bag as if nothing happened and would comment on the wetness or warmth of the product.

NOTE The average Golden Retriever weighs about 75lbs as per petplanet. Also check out this site that shows the average by age group – the dog in our apartment is 2 years old

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

lol, i can only imagine you walkin along, picking up behind lassie....my dad hates the way the dogs in North America are....claims that out here their base nature is totally taken away from them.

Abeni said...

That's what I hate about dogs.I don't relish the cleaning up after them.and put that dog on a diet already

Blog Archive

About Me

My photo
Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.