Infrequently updated consistently funny

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Johnny Cochran has died.

R.I.P. Johnny C. The lawyer who uttered the classic line "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit," during the OJ trial died today of an inoperable brain tumor. Say what you want about the OJ trial but Johnny C did what he was hired to do. As Chris Rock said peeps might say you look guilty if you hire Cochran but at least you will look guilty and be free rather than innocent and in jail.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Slap fest

So Hot97 has gotten in trouble for its slapfest that it had a few weeks ago: Apparently they did not check the laws of the state of NY that prohibit combative sports. If you have never seen or heard of slap fest google it, the video is crazy!

Monday, March 28, 2005

Hope you had a Happy Easter...

I know I did, got to cook for the friends (love that apple pie) and rekindled the joy that is the consumption of ice-cream. Anyway quick reminder to my USD readers: If you plan on using your laptop for finals DOWNLOAD EXAMSOFT and EXAMS asap. The deadline is March 31st by 9pm (Thursday).

Saturday, March 26, 2005

No wonder...

The ringtone industry is such a big business, I just created my first ringtone, but sadly I am unsure if I can use it because of the difficulty of transferring it to my phone. Just creating the tone was a hassle (so hard to edit a lil John song to exclude lil John) and now findng a delivery system to get it to the phone is just as difficult. Of course if anyone knows RELIABLE software to deliver ringtones to a cellphone I would love the info.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Happy Birthday Rachel

Give a shout out to the blonde bombshell!

Friday, March 18, 2005

Is the church correct?

I am saddened: I would never presume to tell another religion how its church should be run: but I will admit that today I am saddened by the decision of the San Diego Catholic diocese to prevent the family of the owner of club montage (McCusker) from having funeral services at the Immaculata Catholic Church on the University of San Diego campus, McCusker's alma mater. "His business is adult entertainment, which is inconsistent with Catholic teaching," Chancellor Rodrigo Valdivia said. McCusker owned Club Montage and ReBar both gay bars.

My thing is that this was a man who was a devout catholic, his family is very active in the church and his mom was even a teacher in the church, it seems so wrong to deny a funeral service to someone based on an inclination to view their business practice as wrong due to sexual orientation. The church is about forgiveness and vengeance is God’s here it seems like there is no forgiveness or openness.

As was pointed out in an AP article: In other cases across the country, some priests accused of sexual abuse have been granted Catholic funeral services, including John Geoghan, the Boston Archdiocese former priest whose sex-abuse case helped spark a nationwide church scandal. (Associated Press)

This decision by the church seems wrong and I am saddened that USD has been dragged into such an issue.

St Paddy's

So last night was St Paddy’s day aka the day I can wear the ugliest piece of green apparel I can find and have peeps think its cool. Some of the outfits last night were straight FUGLY. Others were as hookerish as you can get and not be hauled straight to jail for Northern exposure and yet I loved every minute of it. There is nothing like cheap Guinness (I still maintain that it’s a meal in a can) and watching peeps go nuts over green beer (its no diff from regular in taste – just mental effect). So last night I was amused to see a young lady jump up and start to dance on a pole in the bar (this has happened every St. Paddy’s that I can remember) however as soon as she got on the pole I noticed another young lady staring at her and I just knew she was going to at some point jump up and try to compete with her and proving my faith in human nature correct she did.

Of course her addition to the pole initially infuriates the first pole rider and now there is fiercer grinding on the pole as we all gather in a circle to watch. Then some dude jumps up and commits the cardinal sin, he tries to join 2 girls riding a pole: That never works and all it ever does is bring bouncers over to break up the fun and again it did so. Come on guys don’t interrupt, Girls will never quit the pole to grind with you, and no one in the club cares to see you up there.

"Spring Break shark Attack"

Come on CBS I thought you were supposed to be the stately network, the one we could trust to not slip to low levels: And then you slip to something as low and as cheesy as a made for tv called "Spring Break Shark attack". So you not only blatantly rip off Jaws but at the same time try to get the girls gone wild type of mentality mixed in. One of the previews has a guy asking a girl if she wants to be on video and she smiles and flashes him…her swimsuit from beneath her t-shirt. Whoa, slow down their CBS, grandpa’s pacemaker can only work so hard.

A computer in a shoe?

So there is now a computerized shoe: I remember as a kid watching “Get Smart” on Nick at night and cracking up because of the shoe phone. But now, we are well on our way to turning our lives into completely controlled by computers: The Adidas 1 uses a sensor, a microprocessor and a motorized cable system to automatically adjust the shoes' cushioning. The sensor under the heel measures compression and decides whether the shoe is too soft or firm. That information is sent to the microprocessor and, while the shoe is in the air, the cable adjusts the heel cushion. The whole system weighs less than 40 grams. The shoe comes with replaceable lithium batteries that are estimated to be good for 100 hours of running. The shoe can be turned off and used as regular sneakers (to preserve battery life). The chip also shuts itself off, keeping the same cushioning, if a runner walks more than 10 minutes. Since runners tend to replace shoes at the 500 mile mark – at $250 these Adidas would basically cost 50 cents per mile but Adidas claims that the cushioning will outlast traditional shoes.

What happened to the good old days of canvas shoes? Chuck Taylor’s used to rule the world.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Results are out...

And the calijamaican will be back on the campaign trail. Now I will have to go before classes etc to get people to come out and vote for me, but I cannot begin campaigning until Tuesday the 29th...nothing like anticipation.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Happy Birthday Kelsey

A hit, a run scored and a boyfriend in for a visit: Kelsey is having the best week ever.
The NT All Stars: Nothing but domination. Damn that's a sexy team.  Posted by Hello

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Big ups Kriste Draper and Christopher Turtzo

Final round of Moot ct was awesome tonight: Section B represented in full force. Good Job Kriste.

Friday, March 11, 2005


1 friend in the drunk tank, a friends puke covering two doors of my car as well as my pants and shirt, plus a bunch of law students tired from dancing = a successful bar review.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Violence hits home

This is a prayer request: I know some of my readers do not believe in the Christian God, but whatever entity you believe in I would like for you to offer up a prayer for my friend Mr. Riley. He has been a friend of my family from before I was born. He has helped me so many times in life and he is very dear to my heart. This morning he was shot in a robbery attempt outside his home in Jamaica. At point blank range the thieves fired 3 shots at him and thank god they missed on 2 of the shots, the third made contact. He is however in stable-good condition and will recover (how well I do not know because its hard to get details from peeps while they are at hospitals) However, I would just ask that you all throw up a prayer for he and his family and also for the community as a whole. Sadly young men in Jamaica are no longer content with simple robbery, in so many cases they are shooting at their victims. God help us all.

Sell, sell, sell like a Disco Inferno!

So the beef with 50 cent and the game is over? Just like that? If it wasn't for the fact that one of the Game's homies took a shot in the leg I would be a 100% certain that this feud was designed to hype the release of 50s album: after all the controversy did help him to sell a million records in 5 days.(that is bloody impressive) Course taking a shot in the leg might have been by design? Hmmm oh well, I am not one for conspiracy creation just exposure. I do like the fact that both Game and 50 gave checks in excess of a $100,000 to community groups (throwing the beef aside) I love it when peeps give back to help the community that they have come up from.

Wow: Let's take it to the streets?

Of course now that I am in politics I have got to be a decent fair minded citizen and I cannot call people out. However, I am in a somewhat foul mood. There is now a website that is anti the calijamaican. Hahahah the horror of it all. The funny thing is that my boy Dan K and I had recently talked about the possibility of someone creating an anti-me website and then we dismissed it because we believed (wrongly) that for someone to have an anti-X website they would have to be popular enough to cause that anti-sentiment. Oh well! Of course my initial visceral reaction was damn you bastards come meet me in the writs we can settle this, but then I calmed down and realized that people who make ignorant statements should be left to their own devices. If anyone wants to come to me and find out the truth of what the SBA president does or will do, come to me, you know where the writs is just like I will never back down from speaking my heart, I wont back down from telling you where to go. Grow some stones; if your going to go after me put your name on the site or come and see me in person.

Monday, March 07, 2005


So I have been warned that peeps who check my VOTEAAROND.BLOGSPOT.COM blog, link to this blog via my profile. I have been asked if I am not worried about the content on this page and frankly the answer is no! I am not running on a slate I’m not representing a political party, I have nothing to hide. I will continue to speak my mind; after all I do not say anything too outrageous or controversial. I was asked about my posting re the Vietnamese woman who went salad shooter on her man’s penis and flushed it down the toilet. (Let me once again reiterate that I do not believe in violence towards women) But come on, someone who tricks her man into sleeping with her, ties him up, chops off his penis and then FLUSHES it down the toilet is no longer human: so do the normal rules of decency really apply? After all flushing of a penis is not the act of a rational human being.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

How to do a flyer?

So I am going over potential flyers to use for my campaign and it's a difficult process. I like humor in everything I do; yet at the same time I do not want peeps to think that I am not a serious candidate so how do I reconcile it. If I am completely cut and dry with my flyers then I am not being true to myself (though that would be politically savvy). Oh well guess I am just going to have to see how much the school lets me get away with. Remember yall VOTE OR DIE!

Friday, March 04, 2005

Nervous..Who me?

Tonight is the second round of the McLennon Moot Ct competition and surprisingly I have advanced to it, I also have Casino night to go to so this will be one fun night of gambling (first with my dignity in front of judges and then with fake money). Sadly in every round of McLennon I have gone up against friends, which is I guess cool and at the same time a little disheartening: I have realized that later on in life (if I am the type of lawyer who goes to court) I do not want opposing counsel to be a friend of mine: Cause in the court room setting I am not afraid to gut you like a fish, but afterwards I find it hard to look at you. Oh well it’s a business and it’s the life I chose.
---So everyone that I went up against has also advanced, and I take credit for that. Yes ME. I am the reason you have advanced, I am making all of you look good. My ineptitude and bored look while your talking just makes anything you do look so much better. So when all of y’all are big time rich lawyers kick a little something back down to the brother who helped to push you up there.
---- Strangely enough all my judges so far have been male, which is fine by me, because there is a female judge that is a part of this competition that I fear. She has the look of a fire eater: I am not into the male female competitive thing but let me be honest a woman that is stronger than me intimidates me: and before any of y’all start running lip; those of my fellow students who know her probably know that she is stronger than them too.

Sorry for the Absence of Blogs

So I have not been blogging much recently due to Moot ct and the fact that a laptop in my hand is a ticking time bomb. My brand new laptop died so that’s now in the shop, my backup laptop (thanks DUI) has now also died, and my friend’s laptop that I was using froze up on me. But I must thank God for having a warranty on my laptop cause the amount of money Toshiba claims will have to be put into that laptop…I would have had to sell a body part.

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.