Infrequently updated consistently funny

Friday, March 04, 2005

Nervous..Who me?

Tonight is the second round of the McLennon Moot Ct competition and surprisingly I have advanced to it, I also have Casino night to go to so this will be one fun night of gambling (first with my dignity in front of judges and then with fake money). Sadly in every round of McLennon I have gone up against friends, which is I guess cool and at the same time a little disheartening: I have realized that later on in life (if I am the type of lawyer who goes to court) I do not want opposing counsel to be a friend of mine: Cause in the court room setting I am not afraid to gut you like a fish, but afterwards I find it hard to look at you. Oh well it’s a business and it’s the life I chose.
---So everyone that I went up against has also advanced, and I take credit for that. Yes ME. I am the reason you have advanced, I am making all of you look good. My ineptitude and bored look while your talking just makes anything you do look so much better. So when all of y’all are big time rich lawyers kick a little something back down to the brother who helped to push you up there.
---- Strangely enough all my judges so far have been male, which is fine by me, because there is a female judge that is a part of this competition that I fear. She has the look of a fire eater: I am not into the male female competitive thing but let me be honest a woman that is stronger than me intimidates me: and before any of y’all start running lip; those of my fellow students who know her probably know that she is stronger than them too.

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.