Infrequently updated consistently funny

Friday, March 18, 2005

St Paddy's

So last night was St Paddy’s day aka the day I can wear the ugliest piece of green apparel I can find and have peeps think its cool. Some of the outfits last night were straight FUGLY. Others were as hookerish as you can get and not be hauled straight to jail for Northern exposure and yet I loved every minute of it. There is nothing like cheap Guinness (I still maintain that it’s a meal in a can) and watching peeps go nuts over green beer (its no diff from regular in taste – just mental effect). So last night I was amused to see a young lady jump up and start to dance on a pole in the bar (this has happened every St. Paddy’s that I can remember) however as soon as she got on the pole I noticed another young lady staring at her and I just knew she was going to at some point jump up and try to compete with her and proving my faith in human nature correct she did.

Of course her addition to the pole initially infuriates the first pole rider and now there is fiercer grinding on the pole as we all gather in a circle to watch. Then some dude jumps up and commits the cardinal sin, he tries to join 2 girls riding a pole: That never works and all it ever does is bring bouncers over to break up the fun and again it did so. Come on guys don’t interrupt, Girls will never quit the pole to grind with you, and no one in the club cares to see you up there.

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.