Infrequently updated consistently funny

Wednesday, February 28, 2007


Damn Aggies, did you really think you could sweep us? WE'RE TEXAS! All bragging aside, that was a sick game...double overtime pushed to the last second but the horns came out victorious. All bloody game I was cursing the Aggies. Thanks to them I had to work till late in the night since I took a couple hours off to watch the game and wouldn't you know it the aggies forced extra time. I cannot wait for March madness!

Watching TEXAS v The Aggies and trying to work

Have to quit work and do it after the game. This Game is so damn sick. Kevin Durant is the truth and if you disagree with that, quit watching college basketball because you are an idiot.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Of working life and "Hell no you cannot have my money"

Just put in a 20 hour day, ON A SATURDAY! It is the life I chose. Though I normally walk home, today I took a cab home for the first time: since I reasoned, "I can barely walk right now much less run, and I live downtown, and its 6am, hmm too easy a target for a mugging. A $6 cab ride is much less painful than a jacking" Generally walking home peeps cross the street when I roll up, it has been rather funny to watch (not yet annoying). Tonight there was a pretty good chance that would have occurred since for the last 6 hours I was at work by myself and while reading document after document I twisted my hair, so it definitely has the "gangsta look" but like everyone learns in Jamaica "There is always some dread ruffer than yuh" Just because I might look like a thug right now does not mean I can rep like one. Plus I do not think my ego could stand to be robbed and then have to report it to the cops while looking like a mugger myself.

Aite turning off the cellie and shutting down the pc. If you want me you will have to come find me, and only 3 people currently know the location of my spot, so I think I am good to get a couple hours undisturbed.

Oh I should add part of my fear was that I was rolling with a wad of cash because I had taken some money out to handle 'sum bidniss' but did not get a chance to spend it.

One more random thought: As I try to pass out the Nas "If I ruled the world" track with Lauryn Hill is on...Remember when she was a sane cool artist on the threshold of Ruling the music world? Damn I miss the old Lauryn prior to the "I am going to confuse the hell out of my fans" Lauryn

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

White hoops and Pregnant ex lovers.

So I like the Nike ‘second coming’ ad featuring 10 of Nike’s top ballers. I also thoroughly enjoyed reading a write up on it online with the words “The ad features 10 very tall black men” Really? Seriously? The ad with White-Canadian Steve Nash features 10 tall black men? I know Nash’s game is so sick that he looks like an And 1 mix tape but the last I looked Nash is one of the whitest guys in the NBA. Are we still so blinded as a culture that an ad with basketball players and rap music must mean that the people in it are automatically assumed to be black?

By the way I LOVE absolutely love the fact that Tom Brady is now a ‘baby-daddy’ between he and Leinart the image of the golden boy all American boy QB is taking a significant ding. I also completely agree with some sportscasters who have said that if this had been Michael Vick he would have been held in scorn as the worst kind of role model.

Quick question that I will get to in greater detail: “Why is it always termed: He got her pregnant?” In today’s society don’t we now know that it takes 2 to get pregnant? With reasonable precautions most people do not get pregnant. And women should not pretend that they do not have a hand in pregnancy. STONE COLD!

Happy Mardi Gras

Just a reminder to my friends going out. Above the waist is ok, pubic flashing = arrests.

Passing through downtown on my way home from work it was crazy to see the streams of guys heading towards downtown and how few women. The ratio to me looked worse than 20:1.

Watch HIMYM and damn it let me sleep

Sadly I only got 3 hours sleep last night because a friend sent me an early morning text. Remember people just because you are up does not mean the rest of the world is up also.

So if you have not yet watched your saved episode of HIMYM (because you really should be watching that show) be sure to stick it out to the end you do not want to miss the very last scene.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Happy Chinese New Year!

To one and All!

The new collection of "Live above the influence" anti-drug ads look like they were made by people on weed. Is this really the way to convince people not to smoke out?

Saturday, February 17, 2007

6 months ago

Who would have picked K-fed to be the sane one in the Britney, K-fed marriage?

A shaved head pop starlet with tattoos on the neck? I wonder who had a heart attack at her record label over this story.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Hope y'all had good nights/days

I am lying in bed contemplating the start of my day. Valentine's day was good, but like most good nights the morning after is what matters. It is so funny to me that to normal people the contemplation of working a 40 hour week is a challenge, to myself, many of my coworkers and indeed most of the legal world a 40 hour work week is incomprehensible (heck in three days last week I did 40 hours).

My boss has most of his meetings with me at about 7pm at night and if you factor in that I tend to arrive at my office most mornings around 8 you can guess that a 40 hour week is out of the question. The best thing though about my job is that I do not watch the clock (except of course to make sure I am hitting deadlines) and that is a bloody blessing.

As I prep this morning I am watching 'I Love NY' and wondering what the hell? I cannot bloody look away but damn this show makes no bloody sense. It also proves to me what I have known for too long: Anyone can make it on TV, anyone!

Monday, February 12, 2007 my earlier post

So I commented on Man of the house earlier in this post As I get further in this show I have completely changed my mind. EVERY MALE should watch this movie; it would be better if you could watch it on DVR or something that allows you to skip past the bad moments you should do so. Trust me I will not have to tell you what parts to skip to, if you appreciate the female form you will definitely know when to stop and watch and trust me you will want to watch oh damn you will want to watch.

I am no longer ashamed of myself for watching this movie I am ashamed for not skipping the dialogue

Oh and a bed update

IT IS PHAT. SO yes, though my bed is now so high that I have to jump up to get in it and yes it is so huge that half of my room is gone and yes it sits so high that I cannot get to see my TV on what it now sits on which means that I will have to get a TV stand. I am so damn happy. And yes I know I am too in love with my bed but I was without creature comforts for so long that getting them again even if one by one feels amazing.

By the way if you can afford it I highly recommend living alone!

Everybody get random..Feb 11th edition

So the Anna Nicole Smith story cannot get any crazier can it? 3 guys claiming to be the father all 3 seem to have a claim. But it gets worse, the old dead hubby from years ago could be the hubby if the rumor that she froze his sperm is legit. By the way if she was able to do that, that is amazing because the guy was 90 when he died, so she basically milked a dried prune. On top of the baby mess, she was also photographed in fairly compromising photos with the Bahamian Immigration Minister (I cannot be far off wondering if the kid could be his).

Damn you lil John I was playing scrabble tonight and nearly tried to play ‘crunk’ I kept staring at it on my list.

I am watching this movie “Man of the House” and I have to admit that the only reason I can stomach this movie is because of the hot cheerleaders and the fact that the movie is based around UT. This now makes it official that I will pretty much watch anything if it includes the Longhorns, cause honestly this movie is a piece of crap.

Damn I love the scenes showing Austin though, looking at that stadium filled with burnt-orange and seeing the fans cheer, oh it takes me back. I promise this now; I have to figure out a way to get some game tickets and go ‘home’ for a game. That means that all the peeps that I told should go to Austin with me, here is your heads up.

Combine a normal Austin trip with a trip to Austin when UT wins and yes I am calling it that UT will win all its home games so it will not matter when we go!

Sunday, February 11, 2007

New bed has arrived

And it is PHAT. The mattress itself is a pillowtop and with the added memory foam comes up to 12 inches of cushioning or whatever the term is for matresses. The real test of course will be how well I sleep tonight.

It is a queen size so at least if if have 'visitors' they will be comfortable.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

I WANT MY MTV...not really I just want my damn cable

Bit intrigued that Cox gave me a spare digital remote as well as 2xs the normal amount of cable. I should probably look into this. I know that in my desperation to get cable I ordered more than I need or want in services but I cannot imagine that I ordered TWO BLOODY CABLE PACKAGES and if so where the hell is the second cable box?

So after exploring more (I am doing my own installation) it appears that Cox thinks that I ordered high definition cable. Though I would love to have high definition service I do not think that it is going to make much sense on my standard definition television.

Wish they would just flick the bloody switch already. Apparently even if you do your own installation you still have to wait for a cable guy to come by and flick some special switch outside your home. So I now have everything set up and ready to go but I cannot watch anything. I feel like a little kid staring at his present under the tree.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Night of arrivals

Night of arrivals it would seem. Came home to see that my checks had finally arrived (though not my debit card – not sure why they cannot arrive together). My cable box and modem had arrived and UPS thought it was a good idea to just leave it at my front door, thankfully it was still there, though I do not get connected till Saturday so bit of a tease for now. And received an info thing to let me know that they tried to deliver my mattress topper but apparently they could not leave that with my appt manager. I really wanted to see that to see if the memory foam is as cool as I think it is. Now all I have to do is actually get a damn bed.

I also set up a Valentines date. Yes it is true, I who do not believe in Valentines day actually have a dinner date set up for that day. It was a coincidence but once we realized that it was v-day we kept it.

What kind of hurt was when the young lady said to me (since it was the first time we were communicating in months) “…against my better judgment I gave you my number” What could I say to that but “wait, what?” and look around in shock like the answer lay on surrounding walls.

I expect a great dinner, because we are both fairly arrogant so I cannot wait to see how the 2 of us interact in a confined setting…sounds like a recipe for a tonne of booze.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007


Tony Bennett better not croak tonight and not make his concert tomorrow or I am going to feel like a huge asshole for teasing my friend for buying her tickets months in advance. (especially since the House Of Blues site under its James Brown listings now says “cancelled”)

My internet/cable does not come in until Saturday so I have not been able to blog much or watch any TV for a couple weeks. That is probably what prompted me to get a ridiculous cable and TV package offering more quality programming than I can ever watch as well as the fastest residential internet available. Basically if I have to wait for a page to load then something is wrong with that site.

Wish I could blog more about the crazy astronaut chick but my web time is limited so look her up yourself it is a great story – I love that she wore adult diapers on the trip just so that she did not have to stop so that she could get there in time to get the other chick.

I live a little under 2 miles from work and I love my morning and evening walks – Sadly right now that is the only exercise I am getting.

Have not had time to order a mattress – have to do that on Saturday especially since the topper for my non-existent bed should be here by then (oh memory foam I cannot wait to sleep on you)

WAMU needs to hurry up and send me checks because something tells me paying for a bed with a wad of cash is going to raise someone’s suspicion.

Finally I am so excited about UT’s recruiting class that I want to shout, adding the #3 recruiting class to an already stacked team that underperformed last year = national title contenders. I am also happy that OU got a great class that way they will come in ranked fairly high so that when we kick their ass for the third year in a row we will be the talk of the nation. HOOK EM HORNS

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.