Infrequently updated consistently funny

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

What's in a scent?

So I went and got some new Moisturizing body soap, but the look of shock on my temporary roomie's face when he saw the fragrance and type was worth the extra cost. I selected a pomegranate mango blend with exfoliants and moisturizers. As a compromise I also got a St Ives (gotta love the Swiss) vitamin E soap. Thing is, I think my roomie like most guys freaked out at what might be considered a 'girlie' scent.
A. The soap washes off
B. I like the scents
C. It exfoliates
D. I like moisturizing soaps cause my skin is sensitive and I see no reason to be itchy.

If you cannot get down with that then I got 2 words for you...too bad. Plus damn that smell is definitely going to invigorate my mornings, and who knows I may attract girls who love the scents, though for some reason I have this feeling that they will only want to share stories about other guys with me and go shopping.


Monday, April 23, 2007

Favor to Bex

Click on this link and vote for her is a link to a hot girl so I do not expect any complaints. Oh and yes she is a legit paralegal, I know it is rare to see hot ones; luckily all my paralegal friends are hot. Ok no more disclaimers just click on the link.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

I dare you to watch this video and then tell me it is not hot

Cot damn, I think I might be red in the face right now...and that is hard if you know my colour.

I have got to add this video to my phone.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Hahah I love New York

But apparently no one else does...this chick needs to quit "giving her heart on television" and maybe she "needs to be more selective." For the third season in a row she got rejected by a man on national TV. When will she quit doing that to herself? I hope for never!

Found a cool new bar

And it is only a block and a half from my spot. $3 you call it 7 nights a week, from 8-10pm could be a problem :)

Friday, April 20, 2007

It is exactly 4.20 on 4/20

And curiously some of my co-workers are missing!

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Clip and a rant...

Oh man this is a crazy rant by Baldwin...

Funniest baseball fight I have seen in a long time... Thanks to the sports guy

Assassin just got a job at my firm, this could mean trouble!

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Way to go John

Way to not let people think that you are delusional!

School Shooting

Just too hard to digest right now. It amazes me that it took so long to cancel classes! Hard to believe that this was able to go on for 2.5 hours.

If there was ever a kid that needed a kick inna him batty when him was growing up it had to be this kid.

My prayers go out to the victims and their families and friends.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

It is official!

I was sworn in as an attorney yesterday!

Every year I do my taxes and swear that I will put my information in a safe place so that I do not have to worry about it for the next year. Of course every year I cannot find the last year's material. This year I managed to find my 2004 material when what I needed was my 2005...At least I know next year I will have this year's material.

Friday, April 13, 2007

It's Friday the 13th

Almost wish my workplace was superstitious so I could claim that I cannot work today because it is unlucky.

Does not matter that I do not believe in superstitions or omens.

Sometimes doing the right thing is painful

Day 2 of they gym, progress is being made.

I stepped on the gym scale and a bit of a gasp was let out. Apparently in less than 3 months of work I have put on 4lbs.

There is a reason my muscles are now sore. I have to shed shed shed.

I am happy Imus was fired, if you are one of the peeps up in arms about that, check out his body of work over the last 40 years. The most shocking thing is that he had his job for so long.

I need a girl-friend or some such stability in my is dominating too much of my time.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Of Nappy headed ho's and Snoop Dogg!

So I truly hope that more comes of the Imus racial remarks than just a 2 week suspension but while we wait for better handling of the situation at least we have Snoop to look to for advice.

I had to ask Sand Assassin: "How does Snoop have a medical marijuana card?"

After Assassin and I spoke we decided that per this site which lists all the conditions that you can get ganja for we agreed that Snoop must be suffering from permastonage brought on by CHRONIC pain. (Shout out to SA for coining 'permastonage')

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Of working out and idiots swimming the Amazon

My night at the gym could pretty much be described as embarrassing. Arufa and I are so out of shape we spent a good portion of the time laughing at each other. I did manage to put in3 miles on the elliptical. I attribute that to walking to work most days, walking a mile and a half each way at least keeps me slightly fit. But wow my arm strength is pitiful. I will not reveal how pitiful since Arufa and I made a pact that no one will know how bad it was, but it was bad. (No it was not as bad as just lifting the bar…I can see your mind thinking that)

This guy swam the AMAZON!!! What a maroon! Do you know what is in the Amazon? Neither do I that is why you cannot swim it. Heck half the stuff we know about in there is potentially harmful to you.

We need to stop celebrating ridiculous stunts like this. All they lead to is one idiot trying to top the next. This guy nearly died. Check out some of the blurbs from the article:

“He said he was lucky to have escaped encounters with piranhas, the dreaded toothpick fish, which swims into body orifices to suck blood, and even bull sharks that swim in shallow waters and can live for a while in fresh water…Cramps, high blood pressure, diarrhea, chronic insomnia, larvae infections, dehydration and abrasions caused by the constant rubbing of his wet suit against his skin frequently tormented him…To cope with the delirium and other problems, Strel said he turned to his doctor.
Come on man you are fighting delirium and you still think this is a good idea?

Or maybe I am just jealous because I know I could not do it!

I need to sleep.

You know when you are tired and stressed you do some dumb things. Like make calls you know you should not make and say things you should not say!

Flying up to San Jose for the day. Once back I gotta hit the gym and then stretch out and PASS OUT!

Friday, April 06, 2007

Late work night

Walking home at 1.30am it almost seemed like a good idea to flag a cop down and ask for a lift home...of course one should always avoid riding in the back of a squad car.

I think this guy can definitely testify to that!

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Props to Alanis Morissette

She made a funny parody...not sure why so many commenters on youtube are pissed about it. The video is funny and a fairly funny take on the song.

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.