Infrequently updated consistently funny

Friday, October 20, 2006

Of weapons and hairbrushes

Something spooked our dogs tonight to the point that they started barking incessantly. This lead to me leaping out of bed and grabbing weapons. I have a brand new putter though I have never played a round of golf in my life (figure it out). My roomie also grabbed a club because he was awoken by the noise too, and we went investigating (I know peeps say you should not do that but to be honest I would at least like a chance to take a swing than to get cornered in my room) thing is as we were investigating I looked down and realized that I had a golf club (suitable weapon) in my right hand and a hair brush in my left (a complete “what the hell is this” weapon). Why I grabbed the hair brush, I cannot explain.

As my roomie said when we both realized what I was holding: “Did you plan on kicking their ass and then making them pretty for the cops?”

I cannot explain the hair brush choice, but I still feel that I would have been deadly with it, should anyone have poked their head in my door at 3am, even if the worst thing I did was give them a coif that they could not be pleased with.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

When I was univi, I got home early to find out house broken into, I was so worried about only possession of value 'a watch' that i immediately grabbed my brother's baseball bat and went hunting through the house...what I thought i was going to do with the bat, being the peitite pea size person I am, still remains a mystery!

Perhaps you wanted to take the would be robber over your knee and giving him a good spanking for being so bad....sorry couldn't help that one....

Anonymous said...

depends on the type of hairbrush - if it was one of those thick iron looking ones, you could have doen some serious damage. Othewise, I'm guessing you were just hoping to show it to the tief to make him laugh so much that you could lick him with the club without him realising

Anonymous said...

i find that rather amusing...




....that you own a hairbrush!!

Cali J said...

U know, I make fun of everyone else, So I figured why not post about my misadventure...but gosh ladies that's a bit harsh. I am not handing out spankings in place of ass whoopings! Lyoness, you know how crazy I can be about my hair, I actually own 4 hair brushes and have come to the realization that I need to get rid of 3 (just because it is ridiculous for a man that spends most of his time bald to have more than one hair brush). Who knows maybe that is why I grabbed the brush to defend myself; I did not have to worry about breaking it in some punk. I have seen enough prison movies I know what a brush can do!

Anonymous said...

Hey man. It's not so bad. A hairbrush to the eye is no laughing matter!

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, "Man Kills Thief With Hairbrush!", does make a good headline!

Abeni said...

Lol,maybe you were going for the eyes with the bristles. A bald man and a brush makes nuff sense:)

Cali J said...

You know you all mock me now, but I dare you to attack me while I am holding a hair brush. You will be sorry - have you seen what a bad hair style does to somwone's confidence?

Blog Archive

About Me

My photo
Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.