I am too young to have a heart attack.

So I realized a few truths today:

• The reason that football is much more popular in the South than the west is because kids in the west get Saturday morning cartoons on every bloody channel


• Kids in the South start there mornings with Football games on 3 of the 5 major channels and can find cartoons on the other 2.


• The Texas game was the national morning game on ABC here in SD there was some Disney  Channel crap


• I will sacrifice a lot for football, including walking 3/4s of a mile to a bar at 11pm to inquire if they would have the football game on in the morning


• I then woke up at 8am to head to a bar to watch football


• We all know what happens in bars


• I realized that I will talk trash to anyone anywhere anytime


• EVEN if I am the only Texas person there


• It would be safer for me to stop watching football when I turn 60 or so, at this pace maybe 50


• Military guys do not like when you scream in their face “YOU SUCK FOR PICKING NEBRASKA AND THAT IS WHY YOU ARE ABOUT TO LOSE ALL YOUR DAMN MONEY---WHOOO BEEYOTCH!”


• I learned that my breaking point is the 4th quarter of a football game after listening to Nebraska fans talk smack all morning about my presence as a Texas fan in a bar dominated by Nebraska folk.


• Apparently hearing the same idiot repeatedly ask “Why is he here?” Will cause me to eventually lose it and taunt his table with the words “Look dick, we have a national title, we own you in football, no one can find your state on a map, and just because you are up in this game does not mean you will win it because you are Nebraska and What the hell is a cornhusker you damn hick?”


• I would be better served counting the number of people I am smack talking to first and capping my number at about 5.


• The one cute girl that was in Nebraska left, she was at the bar this morning


• Some girls are just naturally, exhibitionists.

Let me elaborate on some things:
The heart attack comment:
Watching the game today, I literally went crazy for an hour. Texas had been dominating the game and then hit a brain freeze moment. For awhile it looked like Nebraska was going to win and I lost it. I was screaming, dancing around the bar, jumping up and down in the same spot and basically just acting the fool. If I had done that anywhere but a sports bar I would currently be in the ‘loony’ bin. It was so bad that a patron warned me that I might get kicked out of the bar if I didn’t calm down; which of course if you know me I could only reply in one fashion “Shut the hell up I am watching the damn game…step to me again and I will beat you like Texas is about to beat your team” Classy guy I am. (No I was not looking for a fight that is just how fans should talk to each other).

I seriously think that it is not safe for me to watch games as I get older, my heart cannot take it. My heart kept racing for almost an hour after the game I was that excited. When it looked for a second that we might lose, I actually sank to my knees in shock because I was so distraught – one should not get that way over a game, but it happens! The power cut off on UT’s final that would determine who would win the game – I screamed ran out of the bar to try and get a cell phone signal, ran back in to borrow a GSM phone and called my ex.

I had thought about purchasing the game, but thought better of it because I knew I might sacrifice my roomie to the Texas cause if she tried to move for the remote to change the channel, and also because she has an annoying habit in the middle of games to get up, stand infront of the TV arms akimbo to talk to her target and believe me that is not a wise thing to do during my game viewing.

Exhibitionist girls:
Anyone who has ever gone to a bar early in the morning (before 10am) knows that it is usually the hard core drinker types that are there that early. Well at about 9am 2 coeds walked in, probably barely 21 (more likely than not, younger with fake ids). There were hotties no doubt about it, but what caused all chatter in the bar to cease is that they came in wearing pajamas. Now remember I live on the beach so it is not unusual to see weird outfits at the bar, but these girls came in PJs and not the flannel “oh this looks like a shirt and pants type” they came in the “Hey if a boy is coming over tonight I should wear this to let him know what the goods look like type” Sheer and transparent was the order of the day. One girls nipples were so clear and sharply defined, I think I now know how many bumps are on it. They of course were sans underwear and it was clear that for both the carpets do match the curtains. To finally put it all in perspective the girl sitting at the table next to me muttered this “Effing strippers” that summed it all up…

GO HORNS GO! Good night!