Infrequently updated consistently funny

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Sometimes u can be just too cool...vol 1

Today getting out of the car I had a 'cool moment'. You know those moments when you know everything you are doing is just looking really cool. I pulled up windows down, nice So Cal day DMX 'Rough Riders Anthem' blasting at just the right volume, not too loud to annoy the neighbors, just loud enough to let peeps know "I'm cool". Pulled into a tricky spot, really smooth cause "I'm cool". Put the windows up left a suitable ventilation crack first try because "I'm cool". Took of my shades like a bloody Rockstar cause "I'm cool". Put my Ipod earphones in my air with a move that just looked amazing (flipped the cords from around my neck caught them on the up swing place in ears no static in the motion) cause "I'm cool". Stepped out of the car placed my Starburys on the ground like I owned the strip cause "I'm cool". Slid out had my Jamaican 'weed recylcing shirt' blaze out to the sun to let the world know I am a yardie cause "I'm cool"

Then reached my hand up to close the bloodclaut car door and jumped like a scared kid and yelped in pain cause...I got shocked by the damn car door. Damn static electricity...physics hates me!

So anyway went into the store to get some pork chops because I decided to tinker in the lab (aka the kitchen) with a spicy orange ginger glaze and let me tell you this it came out BLOODY AWESOME.
I got the idea when I was walking the attack poodle passed an abandoned lot, saw an orange tree over-loaded with ripened fruit. Grabbed one, went home juiced it into the pan, added ginger, pimento, sugar, soy sauce, sage, vinegar, ketchup, bbq sauce, and simmered...divine.
Baked some chops added carmelized onions, poured the sauce over them in the last minute and nearly killed myself by eating 3 servings worth in one sitting. I highly recommend it.

Sorry Robin, you had your bring me my damn juice!!!!

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.