Infrequently updated consistently funny

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Watching the Texas OU game...celebrating Early like USAIN BOLT

Nervous as hell. Did not sleep last night. OU is the better team on paper, but games are not bloody played on paper.

Apparently 41 of the OU players are from the state of Texas, those bastards are confusing and then stealing our impressionable youth.
(They must be promising them jobs at Car dealerships )
Hmm let's see if I can try to keep up a running, live blog.
- OU scores first, there O is scary good.
- UT answers but only with a field goal
- BS call of running into the kicker I say BS because that is what the crowd started chanting, ABC might want to turn off its crowd mics or risk a call from the FCC
- ( I really should have slept last night)
- it is 9.35am and OU STILL SUCKS!
- Shout out to Ash in Dubai, Mukund in Aussie Land and Preeth in Class: Suckers
- Bad luck Minh...having to work
-Props to Robin for allowing me to use her house while she is not here, good to know that even when out of Town I get net access and a big screen for the game, I love Cali
- Colt McCoy running for his life, I am still amazed the kid is benching 3bills that is bloody impressive.
- An OU player's last name is Box, that is pretty cool
- Texas fumbled then recovered it, I think my heart just stopped...I am raiding the closet for asprin, you never know
- 5 WR set, O Line holds up...still a near INT
- Henry Melton clearly has rocks in his head
- This name really needs John Madden to let us know that if Texas scores more than OU, they will win.
- I do not believe in superstitions, so why then am I sitting at home in a Texas throwback Jersey?
- Seeing the stadium split down the middle red on one side orange on the other is beautiful, if I was sentimental I would cry. Instead I will mock the OU chick that they just showed with the bewildered look on her face. She probably did not know whether it was time to cheer for her brother/husband
-Seriously he is putting up 3 bills if I had not benched yesterday I would go at half time to try a max out rep (and nope it would be no where close to 3 bills)
- So I am in town for Oktoberfest, depending on how this game goes, they might have to restock the whole town!
- Crap, OU scores via a bloody ricochet, of all the luck 14-3 OU
- Oh wow Kick return by Texas to the HOUSE!!! Musberger started calling it a TD with 30 yards left to go. See bloody Sooners, we EARN our points no freak scores here
- On that play the kicker tried to stop Shipley on his cake walk to the endzone, it looked like someone trying to whip a giant with a noodle. 14-10 Ou still leads
- Wow our 2ndary is WEAK, we just got burned for an easy TD 21-10
- Could really have used the ref tripping the receiver like in that crappy ad
- If McCoy stays, we are coming in next year as the pre-season #1, calling it now!
- Welcome back Greg Davis, it would not be a Red River Shootout without you making a predictable call
- Phrase you never want to hear about your team's D: "Offense X is scoring at will"
- Whew I panicked for a second, though I saw Mack Brown's kid on the sideline
- So far none of our run plays are working well
- The announcers are almost making it seem like the McCoy - Shipley relationship is a bit more than just QB-Receiver
- Texas has gotten to the OU 1 yard line, give OU credit, they do not even look worried.
- We better punch this in...SWEET TD, the Cameraman got lost for a bit. RB sweep to the corner of the endzone out of the 'Jumbo package', that sound more like a packet of hotdogs and not a play call. 21-17 OU still leads, in case math is not your thing.
- Sam Bradford throws A STRIKE unfortunately for OU it was to a Texas DB.
- Texas immediately challenges the OU D and throws a 40 yard pass.
- Damn, one of the OU top linebackers is down, HATE TO SEE THAT. As much as I hate OU, I do not want anyone injured. A cramp, now that I can get behind.
- Very dumb roughing the passer call. Bad on the Refs part and dumb on the OU defenders part, you know refs make bad calls, do not help them do stupid things. Still thought it was a BAD CALL, but if you follow the rules exactly (see WA v BYU) it was roughing the passer.
- Whew, McCoy nearly picked off, this year that is highly unusual. 20TD 3 INts so far for him.
- 3 and 7 on the 17 we really need this . Looks like we are going to have to try for the FG
- Here is how crazy I am when it comes to Texas football. I am highly allergic to Robin's cat, yet I loaded up on Claritin, carried some Benadryly with me and have the big gun Promethazine as the backup, just so that I can watch this game.
- FG is good; no shock here high score at the half 21-20 OU leads. I would really have liked to have taken a lead at the half
- Some quick halftime thoughts: Neither D is playing exceptionally, there are too many quality athletes on both D's for the cartoon yardage counts that are currently being put up. The way UT played the first half I am happy being within one point. Sam Bradford is as GOOD as advertised, Colt has his work cut out for him in the 2nd half to match his stats. Jordan Shipley is good enough to become the Next White Receiver in the NFL, always amazes me that peeps do not expect white guys to play certain positions.
- I brought a back up cell battery pack, but with all the text messages I am getting and sending during this game, that might not be enough.
- I swear on all 4 of my grand parents graves Lee Corso just said "They'll win this game but they will have to out-score Texas" No SERIOUSLY, he just said that. I think Lee might have been trying some fried Jack Daniels, if you think I am joshing check out some of the stuff they are frying currently at the Texas Fair:
- FRIED COCA COLA, fried chilli frito burrito (honestly after fried Coke nothing seems that crazy) of course there are staples like fried twinkies, fried s'mores and fried banana splits, if you like cream and oil, fried oreos, fried banana pudding, fried snickers. Ok the game is back on no more gastronomical updates (I hope)
- If I can see a facemask from my couch, how does the ref miss it?
- First possession of 2nd half by UT ends in a punt, oh well I was hoping the momentum would carry. Great return on the punt by OU 24 yards
- If the OU back keeps running like that, there will be a fumble
- The Burnt Orange Nation page is getting so many comments the page can barely refresh in time
- Damn OU fumbled but it went out of bounds to keep possession to them. There have been some lucky breaks for them (see TD above) but they have basically earned their breaks by keeping our D on its heels.
- 3rd and 10, Will Muschamp (our D coach looks like he is going to have a heart attack on the sideline), if OU scores here they might have to strap him to a gurney.
- OMG, we just missed 3 tackles and allowed OU to walk into our endzone, OU up 28-20
- Good thing I have that rule of never drinking alone, otherwise I might be taking shots of the Vodka that Robin keeps in her freezer. ---Quick aside, JT is a 120lb girl yet she has 2 huge handles of Vodka and Rum in her freezer a 750 of Green tea vodka, some bottles of wine, sake and beer all in her refridgerator, but very little food. I am not asking if I should be worried about her, I am asking if she should be my idol? Good Girl!
- If B.O.N. was like ESPN and did not allow expletives on its message board, they would probably have 10 posts. Some very creative use of the F word and parts of the OU fan anatomy.
- Finally a longhorn run that went past the line of scrimmage, a 30 yard run by the senior, Ogbonaya...good job
- Consistent drive right now. YES WE CAN, YES WE CAN...oh sorry,
- Texas in the redzone, let me take a guess at our play call: Screen pass...YUP
- Prediction on 2nd and goal, run...Yup
- 2 yard line 3rd and goal prediction pass to shipley: YES I WAS RIGHT AND IT GOT US A BLOODY TD, that is greatness folks, when everyone knows what you are going to do, and you still get it done!
28-27 ou leads
- Defintiely looking like a cliche game of whomever has the ball last wins!!
- Remember earlier when I said Melton had rocks in his head, HORRENDOUS roughing the passer penalty on him.
- Wow they showed them frying a Snowball impressive
- OU fumbled, like I said they would, but then they recovered it...what did I say about lucky. Damn it!
- Nice swarm D by the horns, OU ran a screen and I almost felt bad for the receiver...almost
- Crap OU faked a punt, he looks short, Refs have given a generous spot, but still looks short EFF YOU STOOPS, you did this crap my first year at UT, I hope we ram this one down your Sooner throat!
- Oh man I want to yell like Cassanova (James Patterson reference) we held those bastards short of the 1st down!
- Uh oh, instant replay review, come on, come on, no more luck for OU. RULING ON THE FIELD STANDS TEXAS BALL!
- Colt McCoy looking like VY, and the OU player just made a stupid late hit, I know Musberger hates Texas but come on, relax on the calls man, DO NOT TOUCH THE QB out of bounds
- I suspect that without the live blogging I would be screaming like a mad man!
- Uh oh McCoy was flushed out of the pocket threw to the end zone while being hit, a sooner grabs it but the ball comes out on the ground so I do not think it was an INT, COme on horns kick fast kick fast SWEET got the kick off b4 any chance of a review UT NOW LEADS! 30-28
- Just spoke to Preeth on his 10 minute class break, he is thinking of ditching the 2nd half of class to go watch the game. I think my next score update text to him will include these words "DITCH BLOODY CLASS" I mean after all we have to know our priorities!
- Now is as good a time as any to boast about my Spider-man skills, Robin did not think I could penetrate the stronghold of her appt because to access the building one has to climb a gate and then boost ones self up to a second floor balcony...uh I AM JAMAICAN, yard man nuh get stopped by nuh likkle 2 storey buidling, I and I dust that off.
- Mack Brown is gaining weight, but hey he got us a National Title, he could become Shamu he is still good in my book...though I would rather him not ever get to Mark Mangino's size, and yes I am saying Shamu is smaller than Mangino
- OUR KICK COVERAGE TEAM HAS DEFINITELY LOST ITS MIND! They just ran into the kicker again! And you know what, I have no argument with it, I know the kicker is play-acting a bit re his injury, but damn it, what are they thinking rushing him!
- Of course I will be pissed if they convert this to a win.
- Our tackling is horrible I blame ESPN etc, too many players trying to make flashy tackles and not the down and dirty chest to a chest knock the man off his feet tackle
- OU driving, on our 30, holding call though will take them back 10. Clear holding though, Kindle was basically dancing with the guy!
- Cot damn, we just gave up a 26 yard completion on a 3rd and 14
- I do not know if we are the #1 team in the Nation, I think OU is, but if we beat them desptie all these crappy mistakes I think we have a shot at staking a claim.
- Damn, OU scores and is going for 2, if they convert it will be a 6 point lead. Our 2ndary is getting TORCHED!
- Seriously I am still pissed at the kick coverage, you have seen the refs call everything tight, Y risk it and rush the kicker, now we are staring at a 2 point attempt
- OU penalty, backs them up, bet Stoops still goes for 2, oh wow, he is actually being conservative and going for just the PAT
-Watch for the fake, if he fakes it here, punch him in the face. Just do it, send Melton over and punch him, that is pretty much the only penalty Melton has not gotten yet. Note I said yet.
- PAT - good, 35-30 OU retakes the lead, and I think my left one just shrivelled up a bit.
- If nothing shows how weak our 2ndary is, this will have to do it, Bradford with almost a full 1/4 left has thrown for 5 Tds/1INT
- McCoy runs fumbles and uses his strength to pull it back in, remember 3 BILLS!
- No offense to this ABC update, but no one oustide of Carolina (and I have no idea which is East) or West VA cares about the WVA v ECU game!
- Sometimes your player has a clear brain-fart, we needed 3 yards, we did a screen, the receiver then ran 3 yards in the wrong direction
- TOUCHDOWN Shipley, oh crap, the ref wants to take it away. Please no, come on, you are bloody kidding me. Problem is the replay is so hard to tell, if they mark him down at the one, I do not think we win the replay.
- Ok I am with them, down at the one, 1st and goal on the one.
- Punch it in HORNS! Come on, do it for Mike Shirts!
- Straight ahead TD! Texas 36-35, do we go for 2 and make it a FG lead? I think we have to, and yup, here they go.
- Juggled, basically a jump ball and Cosby stares straight up at it like a rebound and goes straight up and Charles Barkley's it...i.e. he sticks his butt out and gets that damn ball. TEXAS 38-35.
- Bradford almost picked, Damn Lamar Houston is down, nope he is up, ok 6.39 to go, do we play the slow down game or gun it. I say we gun it, we have not been able to run out the clock at all this game, I say we go for it try to score because so far neither D has been able to really shut down the Os yeah there have been a few 3 and outs, but I want us to win not limp to a loss.
- This game could kill me. I am convinced I will one day have a heart attack while watching Texas Football.
- Sounds like Herbie agrees with me, attack, do not go conservative
- Damn, McCoy's vision has improved so much over last year; he let the O-line do its job, stayed calm in the pocket, then dumped it off, great 1st down pickup
- Amazing run by C Ogie, puts us on the 5, then we throw to a line man, he of course drops the rock, but no biggie we punch it in on the next play to go up 45-35, I can almost taste it.
- Preeth this is my shout out "I told you so" moment, I am celebrating Early like USAIN BOLT
- Michigan lost to Toledo at the LITTLE house, they have lost the right to call it the big house right now. I mean come on 13-10 to Freaking TOLEDO? Good job on that Rich Rod hire if u were expecting immediate dividends! (Sadly I think he will eventually be good)
- Come on LSU, go down to Florida like a nice co-ed, help us out a bit
- Bradford tries a run, skips one tackle wrapped up after 6 yards, 4th down attempt coming. Please Please please, YES, TEXAS BALL.
- 80 meters into the race, time to start pounding my chest and spread my arms wide to the crowd.
- Nice safe run play, 2.27 on the clock, time cannot go any slower right now.
- OU out of T.Os, clock is ticking, tick, tick, tick, down to 2 minutes (no 2 minute warning in College). Not that I bet (on Texas football, just a rule, no concern re the stupid hypocritical law) but I always follow the lines, Vegas opened with OU 7 point faves, the line was bet down to 6 then back to 6.5 yesterday, 70% of the action went to OU, hahaha SUCKERS! Never trust a Sooner.
- Some more stuff for the degenerates, this was the most bet on game of this weekend, Vegas was hoping for a Texas cover, they got more than they needed.
- The over for this game was 58, uhmm yeah, hope you bet the OVER!
- Bradford goes for one last heave in the endzone, looks like it might have been picked, but no one cares to challenge it.
- Look I hate the sooners, but damn they played a HELL OF A GAME!
- The Red River SHOOTOUT (eff pc and Rivalry, today was a shootout) now stands at Texas 58 Wins, OU 40 wins, and 5 ties
- DAMN IT I know I am biased but this was so far the best game of the year!
- Shout out:
Texas Tina, my faithful game watching companion who is always willing to save me a seat,
Shirts, for calling early to taunt thus guaranteeing a win
Preeth for making me laugh,
Surya for knowing that calling me is always a good idea after a Texas win.
The Parental units for having the good sense to allow me to go to Texas (and the money to send me there even if it was a one-way tix)
Ash for logging on from half the planet away to share Texas love
Samir, for gamecasting it and showing love to the horns
Rohan (coz) for rooting for us (even though I understand the selfish reasons...I would do the same)
God for giving me blogging talent
Laura for the love coming online when Texas started its momentum run. Deuces!
ABC for moving this game so that I could watch it and still hit Oktoberfest
Robin for having a glorious big screen and then leaving me to myself so I did not have to sheath my emotional sword
OU for sucking
And just a general shout out to Me, cause seriously I deserve it!

It is 12.51 and OU STILL SUCKS!
Now off to facebook to taunt Preeth on his wall so that his sooner friend can see my Texas PRIDE!
Colt McCoy, if I ever see you or Shipley, I am buying you a drink

1 comment:

Ashish said...

Glad you used the word 'emotional' in reference to sheathing your sword! Hahaha!

Mizzou and Michigan both lost! The season is AWN!!

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.