BCS DECLARES GERMANY WINNER OF WWII

(I really wish I knew who to credit with this, I googled it but could not find an original poster)

US Ranked 4th

After determining the Big-12 championship game participants, the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.

"Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work--including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule--our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking."

Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the BCS commissioner stated "The US only had two major victories--Japan and Germany. The computer models, unlike humans, aren't influenced by head-to-head contests--they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event."

German Chancellor Adolf Hitler said "Yes, we lost to the US; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks." Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn 'style points' to enhance Germany's rankings. Hitler protested "Our contest with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional forces."

The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented " France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 ranking they only fell to #2."

Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines.

---bloody funny stuff, whomever came up with it, is right on target and bloody funny!

1 more reason to hate the Aggies, their stadium is full of #$#%

Apparently Texas A & M has a bat problem. And that problem comes with the added bonus of the bats relieving themselves all over the stadium. Apparently it is not enough that their opponents dump on them (see the scoreboard of their last 5 home games if you doubt me) now nature has made her feelings known!

You have to love when this quote can be made about your stadium: "The primary concern is making sure bat guano doesn't get in vendors' food. Official have also taken steps to protect unsuspecting fans from droppings."
---The Wiz of Odds

The HORNS will get their revenge this year, I hope we hang 60 on those bastards!

Watching the Texas OU game...celebrating Early like USAIN BOLT

Nervous as hell. Did not sleep last night. OU is the better team on paper, but games are not bloody played on paper.

GO HORNS GO!
Apparently 41 of the OU players are from the state of Texas, those bastards are confusing and then stealing our impressionable youth.
(They must be promising them jobs at Car dealerships )
Hmm let's see if I can try to keep up a running, live blog.
- OU scores first, there O is scary good.
- UT answers but only with a field goal
- BS call of running into the kicker I say BS because that is what the crowd started chanting, ABC might want to turn off its crowd mics or risk a call from the FCC
- ( I really should have slept last night)
- it is 9.35am and OU STILL SUCKS!
- Shout out to Ash in Dubai, Mukund in Aussie Land and Preeth in Class: Suckers
- Bad luck Minh...having to work
-Props to Robin for allowing me to use her house while she is not here, good to know that even when out of Town I get net access and a big screen for the game, I love Cali
- Colt McCoy running for his life, I am still amazed the kid is benching 3bills that is bloody impressive.
- An OU player's last name is Box, that is pretty cool
- Texas fumbled then recovered it, I think my heart just stopped...I am raiding the closet for asprin, you never know
- 5 WR set, O Line holds up...still a near INT
- Henry Melton clearly has rocks in his head
- This name really needs John Madden to let us know that if Texas scores more than OU, they will win.
- I do not believe in superstitions, so why then am I sitting at home in a Texas throwback Jersey?
- Seeing the stadium split down the middle red on one side orange on the other is beautiful, if I was sentimental I would cry. Instead I will mock the OU chick that they just showed with the bewildered look on her face. She probably did not know whether it was time to cheer for her brother/husband
-Seriously he is putting up 3 bills if I had not benched yesterday I would go at half time to try a max out rep (and nope it would be no where close to 3 bills)
- So I am in town for Oktoberfest, depending on how this game goes, they might have to restock the whole town!
- Crap, OU scores via a bloody ricochet, of all the luck 14-3 OU
- Oh wow Kick return by Texas to the HOUSE!!! Musberger started calling it a TD with 30 yards left to go. See bloody Sooners, we EARN our points no freak scores here
- On that play the kicker tried to stop Shipley on his cake walk to the endzone, it looked like someone trying to whip a giant with a noodle. 14-10 Ou still leads
- Wow our 2ndary is WEAK, we just got burned for an easy TD 21-10
- Could really have used the ref tripping the receiver like in that crappy ad
- If McCoy stays, we are coming in next year as the pre-season #1, calling it now!
- Welcome back Greg Davis, it would not be a Red River Shootout without you making a predictable call
- Phrase you never want to hear about your team's D: "Offense X is scoring at will"
- Whew I panicked for a second, though I saw Mack Brown's kid on the sideline
- So far none of our run plays are working well
- The announcers are almost making it seem like the McCoy - Shipley relationship is a bit more than just QB-Receiver
- Texas has gotten to the OU 1 yard line, give OU credit, they do not even look worried.
- We better punch this in...SWEET TD, the Cameraman got lost for a bit. RB sweep to the corner of the endzone out of the 'Jumbo package', that sound more like a packet of hotdogs and not a play call. 21-17 OU still leads, in case math is not your thing.
- Sam Bradford throws A STRIKE unfortunately for OU it was to a Texas DB.
- Texas immediately challenges the OU D and throws a 40 yard pass.
- Damn, one of the OU top linebackers is down, HATE TO SEE THAT. As much as I hate OU, I do not want anyone injured. A cramp, now that I can get behind.
- Very dumb roughing the passer call. Bad on the Refs part and dumb on the OU defenders part, you know refs make bad calls, do not help them do stupid things. Still thought it was a BAD CALL, but if you follow the rules exactly (see WA v BYU) it was roughing the passer.
- Whew, McCoy nearly picked off, this year that is highly unusual. 20TD 3 INts so far for him.
- 3 and 7 on the 17 we really need this . Looks like we are going to have to try for the FG
- Here is how crazy I am when it comes to Texas football. I am highly allergic to Robin's cat, yet I loaded up on Claritin, carried some Benadryly with me and have the big gun Promethazine as the backup, just so that I can watch this game.
- FG is good; no shock here high score at the half 21-20 OU leads. I would really have liked to have taken a lead at the half
- Some quick halftime thoughts: Neither D is playing exceptionally, there are too many quality athletes on both D's for the cartoon yardage counts that are currently being put up. The way UT played the first half I am happy being within one point. Sam Bradford is as GOOD as advertised, Colt has his work cut out for him in the 2nd half to match his stats. Jordan Shipley is good enough to become the Next White Receiver in the NFL, always amazes me that peeps do not expect white guys to play certain positions.
- I brought a back up cell battery pack, but with all the text messages I am getting and sending during this game, that might not be enough.
-WE'RE TEXAS, WHAT HAPPENS HERE CHANGES THE WORLD love that Ad
- I swear on all 4 of my grand parents graves Lee Corso just said "They'll win this game but they will have to out-score Texas" No SERIOUSLY, he just said that. I think Lee might have been trying some fried Jack Daniels, if you think I am joshing check out some of the stuff they are frying currently at the Texas Fair:
- FRIED COCA COLA, fried chilli frito burrito (honestly after fried Coke nothing seems that crazy) of course there are staples like fried twinkies, fried s'mores and fried banana splits, if you like cream and oil, fried oreos, fried banana pudding, fried snickers. Ok the game is back on no more gastronomical updates (I hope)
- If I can see a facemask from my couch, how does the ref miss it?
- First possession of 2nd half by UT ends in a punt, oh well I was hoping the momentum would carry. Great return on the punt by OU 24 yards
- If the OU back keeps running like that, there will be a fumble
- The Burnt Orange Nation page is getting so many comments the page can barely refresh in time
- Damn OU fumbled but it went out of bounds to keep possession to them. There have been some lucky breaks for them (see TD above) but they have basically earned their breaks by keeping our D on its heels.
- 3rd and 10, Will Muschamp (our D coach looks like he is going to have a heart attack on the sideline), if OU scores here they might have to strap him to a gurney.
- OMG, we just missed 3 tackles and allowed OU to walk into our endzone, OU up 28-20
- Good thing I have that rule of never drinking alone, otherwise I might be taking shots of the Vodka that Robin keeps in her freezer. ---Quick aside, JT is a 120lb girl yet she has 2 huge handles of Vodka and Rum in her freezer a 750 of Green tea vodka, some bottles of wine, sake and beer all in her refridgerator, but very little food. I am not asking if I should be worried about her, I am asking if she should be my idol? Good Girl!
- If B.O.N. was like ESPN and did not allow expletives on its message board, they would probably have 10 posts. Some very creative use of the F word and parts of the OU fan anatomy.
- Finally a longhorn run that went past the line of scrimmage, a 30 yard run by the senior, Ogbonaya...good job
- Consistent drive right now. YES WE CAN, YES WE CAN...oh sorry,
- Texas in the redzone, let me take a guess at our play call: Screen pass...YUP
- Prediction on 2nd and goal, run...Yup
- 2 yard line 3rd and goal prediction pass to shipley: YES I WAS RIGHT AND IT GOT US A BLOODY TD, that is greatness folks, when everyone knows what you are going to do, and you still get it done!
28-27 ou leads
- Defintiely looking like a cliche game of whomever has the ball last wins!!
- Remember earlier when I said Melton had rocks in his head, HORRENDOUS roughing the passer penalty on him.
- Wow they showed them frying a Snowball impressive
- OU fumbled, like I said they would, but then they recovered it...what did I say about lucky. Damn it!
- Nice swarm D by the horns, OU ran a screen and I almost felt bad for the receiver...almost
- Crap OU faked a punt, he looks short, Refs have given a generous spot, but still looks short EFF YOU STOOPS, you did this crap my first year at UT, I hope we ram this one down your Sooner throat!
- Oh man I want to yell like Cassanova (James Patterson reference) we held those bastards short of the 1st down!
- Uh oh, instant replay review, come on, come on, no more luck for OU. RULING ON THE FIELD STANDS TEXAS BALL!
- Colt McCoy looking like VY, and the OU player just made a stupid late hit, I know Musberger hates Texas but come on, relax on the calls man, DO NOT TOUCH THE QB out of bounds
- I suspect that without the live blogging I would be screaming like a mad man!
- Uh oh McCoy was flushed out of the pocket threw to the end zone while being hit, a sooner grabs it but the ball comes out on the ground so I do not think it was an INT, COme on horns kick fast kick fast SWEET got the kick off b4 any chance of a review UT NOW LEADS! 30-28
- Just spoke to Preeth on his 10 minute class break, he is thinking of ditching the 2nd half of class to go watch the game. I think my next score update text to him will include these words "DITCH BLOODY CLASS" I mean after all we have to know our priorities!
- Now is as good a time as any to boast about my Spider-man skills, Robin did not think I could penetrate the stronghold of her appt because to access the building one has to climb a gate and then boost ones self up to a second floor balcony...uh I AM JAMAICAN, yard man nuh get stopped by nuh likkle 2 storey buidling, I and I dust that off.
- Mack Brown is gaining weight, but hey he got us a National Title, he could become Shamu he is still good in my book...though I would rather him not ever get to Mark Mangino's size, and yes I am saying Shamu is smaller than Mangino
- OUR KICK COVERAGE TEAM HAS DEFINITELY LOST ITS MIND! They just ran into the kicker again! And you know what, I have no argument with it, I know the kicker is play-acting a bit re his injury, but damn it, what are they thinking rushing him!
- Of course I will be pissed if they convert this to a win.
- Our tackling is horrible I blame ESPN etc, too many players trying to make flashy tackles and not the down and dirty chest to a chest knock the man off his feet tackle
- OU driving, on our 30, holding call though will take them back 10. Clear holding though, Kindle was basically dancing with the guy!
- Cot damn, we just gave up a 26 yard completion on a 3rd and 14
- I do not know if we are the #1 team in the Nation, I think OU is, but if we beat them desptie all these crappy mistakes I think we have a shot at staking a claim.
- Damn, OU scores and is going for 2, if they convert it will be a 6 point lead. Our 2ndary is getting TORCHED!
- Seriously I am still pissed at the kick coverage, you have seen the refs call everything tight, Y risk it and rush the kicker, now we are staring at a 2 point attempt
- OU penalty, backs them up, bet Stoops still goes for 2, oh wow, he is actually being conservative and going for just the PAT
-Watch for the fake, if he fakes it here, punch him in the face. Just do it, send Melton over and punch him, that is pretty much the only penalty Melton has not gotten yet. Note I said yet.
- PAT - good, 35-30 OU retakes the lead, and I think my left one just shrivelled up a bit.
- If nothing shows how weak our 2ndary is, this will have to do it, Bradford with almost a full 1/4 left has thrown for 5 Tds/1INT
- McCoy runs fumbles and uses his strength to pull it back in, remember 3 BILLS!
- No offense to this ABC update, but no one oustide of Carolina (and I have no idea which is East) or West VA cares about the WVA v ECU game!
- Sometimes your player has a clear brain-fart, we needed 3 yards, we did a screen, the receiver then ran 3 yards in the wrong direction
- TOUCHDOWN Shipley, oh crap, the ref wants to take it away. Please no, come on, you are bloody kidding me. Problem is the replay is so hard to tell, if they mark him down at the one, I do not think we win the replay.
- Ok I am with them, down at the one, 1st and goal on the one.
- Punch it in HORNS! Come on, do it for Mike Shirts!
- Straight ahead TD! Texas 36-35, do we go for 2 and make it a FG lead? I think we have to, and yup, here they go.
- Juggled, basically a jump ball and Cosby stares straight up at it like a rebound and goes straight up and Charles Barkley's it...i.e. he sticks his butt out and gets that damn ball. TEXAS 38-35.
- Bradford almost picked, Damn Lamar Houston is down, nope he is up, ok 6.39 to go, do we play the slow down game or gun it. I say we gun it, we have not been able to run out the clock at all this game, I say we go for it try to score because so far neither D has been able to really shut down the Os yeah there have been a few 3 and outs, but I want us to win not limp to a loss.
- This game could kill me. I am convinced I will one day have a heart attack while watching Texas Football.
- Sounds like Herbie agrees with me, attack, do not go conservative
- Damn, McCoy's vision has improved so much over last year; he let the O-line do its job, stayed calm in the pocket, then dumped it off, great 1st down pickup
- Amazing run by C Ogie, puts us on the 5, then we throw to a line man, he of course drops the rock, but no biggie we punch it in on the next play to go up 45-35, I can almost taste it.
- Preeth this is my shout out "I told you so" moment, I am celebrating Early like USAIN BOLT
- Michigan lost to Toledo at the LITTLE house, they have lost the right to call it the big house right now. I mean come on 13-10 to Freaking TOLEDO? Good job on that Rich Rod hire if u were expecting immediate dividends! (Sadly I think he will eventually be good)
- Come on LSU, go down to Florida like a nice co-ed, help us out a bit
- Bradford tries a run, skips one tackle wrapped up after 6 yards, 4th down attempt coming. Please Please please, YES, TEXAS BALL.
- 80 meters into the race, time to start pounding my chest and spread my arms wide to the crowd.
- Nice safe run play, 2.27 on the clock, time cannot go any slower right now.
- OU out of T.Os, clock is ticking, tick, tick, tick, down to 2 minutes (no 2 minute warning in College). Not that I bet (on Texas football, just a rule, no concern re the stupid hypocritical law) but I always follow the lines, Vegas opened with OU 7 point faves, the line was bet down to 6 then back to 6.5 yesterday, 70% of the action went to OU, hahaha SUCKERS! Never trust a Sooner.
- Some more stuff for the degenerates, this was the most bet on game of this weekend, Vegas was hoping for a Texas cover, they got more than they needed.
- The over for this game was 58, uhmm yeah, hope you bet the OVER!
- Bradford goes for one last heave in the endzone, looks like it might have been picked, but no one cares to challenge it.
- Look I hate the sooners, but damn they played a HELL OF A GAME!
- The Red River SHOOTOUT (eff pc and Rivalry, today was a shootout) now stands at Texas 58 Wins, OU 40 wins, and 5 ties
- DAMN IT I know I am biased but this was so far the best game of the year!
- Shout out:
Texas Tina, my faithful game watching companion who is always willing to save me a seat,
Shirts, for calling early to taunt thus guaranteeing a win
Preeth for making me laugh,
Surya for knowing that calling me is always a good idea after a Texas win.
The Parental units for having the good sense to allow me to go to Texas (and the money to send me there even if it was a one-way tix)
Ash for logging on from half the planet away to share Texas love
Samir, for gamecasting it and showing love to the horns
Rohan (coz) for rooting for us (even though I understand the selfish reasons...I would do the same)
God for giving me blogging talent
Laura for the love coming online when Texas started its momentum run. Deuces!
ABC for moving this game so that I could watch it and still hit Oktoberfest
Robin for having a glorious big screen and then leaving me to myself so I did not have to sheath my emotional sword
OU for sucking
And just a general shout out to Me, cause seriously I deserve it!

It is 12.51 and OU STILL SUCKS!
Now off to facebook to taunt Preeth on his wall so that his sooner friend can see my Texas PRIDE!
Colt McCoy, if I ever see you or Shipley, I am buying you a drink

Just another reason why TEXAS will always be better than those damn Hogs from Arkansas vol 1.3435

In the interest of fairness I should note that the judge is an HONORABLE graduate of THE UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS. This footnote might have been the best footnote I have ever seen in a legal opinion

“It is worth noting, that the Razorbacks, who disgracefully retreated from the Southwest Conference to the gentler pastures of the Southeastern Conference, could have likely learned a lesson about stamina and perseverance in the face of battle by visiting the Alamo in San Antonio.” --you tell 'em judge!

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If the images are not very clear the order is hosted here




Please note that UT has been involved in the game of the Century for both relevant football centuries, we cannot claim the 1800s because no one cared then except the Ivy leagues and they have not been relevant since then.

Vince Young caught drinking and shirtless! The shame?

Pix from blogxilla.com

Ok, ok, first things first, everyone knows I am the biggest Texas apologist! But peeps need to calm the hell down about the VY pix and stop acting like he is a bad role-model to the kids for being in a club (21 and up) and having a drink like any guy in the club would.

He was in a club in the ATX, it gets hot, peeps shed clothing, hell a whole damn song by Nelly was made over this same activity and it became a hit! (Hell when I was fitter, I used to shed my shirt in the club, now I just have to sweat it out).

I did not rip Leinhart for his pix and I refuse to rip Vince for his. Now if you show me a picture of VY pouring syzurp down some under-age chica's throat, I might have to come up with an excuse, but this one is just too basic to get the uproar that it is receiving.

Apparently the reason (and I hate that I even have to address this part) that you do not see that many females in the pictures but rather a lot of men with shirts off, is that they were in a VIP area. A few females were there but the line letting them in was restricted for fear of the groupie types. Hey, that shows good judgment!

Anyway, here is the link that has the story


(Now the R Kelly trial, that is something else, will have to blog that later)

Bloody insomnia sucks vol 2394.34

Since I am up all night I decided to go through blog posts just to clean up stuff, just found this post in my drafts list, clearly from the title listed below it was supposed to be posted DURING THE NCAAs...not sure why I did not post it at the time, I guess I probably tried to throw the pc out of the window while watching the game.

Anyway here goes.
Original title: Things I learned while watching the NCAAs

Rick Barnes (the Texas coach) hates me. He clearly wants me to die of a heart attack! There is no other way to explain his coaching technique today!

Minorities in commercials are mean to everyone, my old roomie and I used to marvel at the old Ad with the guy constantly being an ass about how great his phone was. Now I see a VW ad where the guy constantly sets off the car alarm.

Former Prez Bush likes Texas cheerleaders, that was the biggest smile I have seen on his face...ever!

Despite the fact the housing market is horrible, we are being told to buy buy and buy more houses.

Though you cannot drink booze at any NCAA games, the NCAA is completely fine with advertising to its core student audience the joy of alcohol.

Those Old Spice (Jackie Moon) 'Semi Pro' ads really suck. Normally I do not see them because of DVR but watching the game live you have little choice but to sit through them and wonder..."Who wrote this crap?"

(Nothing to do with the tourney but I saw a Hilary Swank movie and, seriously there is just something about her face, she is not ugly, but she is not beautiful either, thankfully she can act!)

March Madness begins v1.3

Can Texas go all the way? I have so many brackets out there that I have actually forgotten some of the websites I am registered with.

I am showing love to the Big 12 and Pac 10 in most of my brackets and discounting the Big East getting 8 teams in. Going chalk in most of the regions except of course for the South where I am going TEXAS Longhorns all the way.

Legal notice, remember all these games are for fun...gambling on college games is prohibited.

Even if apparently 58% of employed persons in America engage in pools

"I took an AIDS test...so should you! " and some links

Now of course calling exes and stating such a line is not the best way to start your conversations. But, I firmly believe that all responsible people in my age bracket should take regular AIDS tests.

You all know that the SCV is at low risk for catching the High Five aka the Die Slow, but I still feel the need/urge to get tested regularly. Since I give blood fairly regularly I am not usually concerned about taking independent AIDS tests but, since I was barred for a WHOLE YEAR (thanks to the Malaria scare in Jamaica), this is the longest I have ever gone without a blood test (well at least not one forced by a family court...sorry mom for that joke, I apologize, I could not resist.)

Anyway to shorten the story, cause I could really go on and on...If you are afraid of taking the tests that force you to wait 2 weeks for results (like planned parenthood, I swear a friend told me about that one), San Diego offers a free one at its Family clinics and you get results in 20 minutes. Let me repeat...IT IS FREE AND TAKES ONLY TWENTY MINUTES.

Please friends, go get checked...and to my exes etc, I am clear...not that you had to worry about the SCV.

Ok some light hearted fare after that;

A woman had to be surgically removed from a toilet seat, I swear you cannot make these things up.

Dawn Wells, aka Mary Ann, got caught with Mary Jane, that is right, the innocent one from Gilligan's Island who is 69 got busted with ganja! I cannot help but laugh.

And of course I have to link re Eliot Spitzer, I will blog more on the hypocrite at a later date but suffice it to say for now...WHAT A MAROON! I chose a Texas paper to link to on purpose.

America ranks as the world's #1 incarcerator...and one in 9 black men my age are LOCKED UP

And no surprise, black men lead as the highest percentage of incarcerated individuals...what is surprising is that Texas and Kansas have acted to slow their rate of incarceration (and it is not via executions).

Read this article for yourself, educate yourself about the ills of our society and then try to make some change...even if it is just staying out of jail your damn self!

This paragraph almost made me cry "Four states - Vermont, Michigan, Oregon and Connecticut - spend more on corrections than on higher education, the report said."

"For some groups, the incarceration numbers are especially startling," the report said.

"While one in 30 men between the ages of 20 and 34 is behind bars, for black males in that age group the figure is one in nine."

The racial disparity for women is also stark. One in 355 white women ages 35 to 39 is behind bars, compared with one in 100 black women in that age group.

Big Monday: Texas v those Aggie clowns

Photo by Eric Gay Associated Press
Huge basketball day for Texas fans, I know I have my DVR running to make sure that I do not miss the game. Now I just have to make sure that I do not accidentally stumble on the score before I get to watch the game. My phone is off, and I am not checking text messages either until I get a chance to watch the game.

Great weekend of sports! The Daytona 500 was amazing (I know it might seem weird that I watch but I love Nascar) that bump move to end the race was so well executed that I knew Tony Stewart had no chance the minute I saw Busch hook on to Newman's bumper. Unfortunately for Stewart his team-mate was caught up in traffic and could not get into clear air to give Stewart that last push he might need. Dodge cars owned the race, 6 of the top 8 were Dodges.

The next big thing for me was the Slam dunk competition. I have never understood why peeps say get rid of it...and replace it with what? It is fun let it continue, and if you saw this weekends competition you will agree with me. When Dwight Howard "supermanned (yup it is a word) that dunk" the arena went nuts! The best dunk for me was definitely the 'Birthday Cake' Gerald Green actually blew out a candle in a cupcake on the back of the rim, that was bloody amazing!

Ok some of the dunks for your edification
off the backboard


The Birthday cake


Superman that ohhhh




HOOK 'EM HORNS!

Is 18-1 perfection suckers???

I took absolute delight last week in hearing that the Boston Globe had started taking pre-orders for a Book about the Pats football season called '19-0'. I was also tickled to hear that the request had been put in to trademark '19-0'. But what I found even better was that the NY Post then applied to trademark 18-1. Bloody fun back and forth.

I really, really love when ESPN starts running their 'best team ever' graphics, invariably the team seems to fail. Yes I know that if you have read this blog ever, you know I still gloat over TEXAS BEAT USC (SUCK IT TROJANS)!

What I found appalling in its silliness, was that for a couple days last week ESPN tried to sell sport fans that Tom Brady was much more dominant in his sport than Tiger was in golf! Let me say this now, there is no athlete as dominant as Tiger.

Brady as good as he is, was not the record breaker till he got Moss. Think about it, Brady is good, but it is not like he is not surrounded by weapons, Moss, Welker, Stallworth, Maroney, etc.

Woods is a solo act, hell he is an entity to be honest, Golfers come and go and he still endures, heck for awhile Mickleson even said Tiger was using inferior equipment and yet he was still winning.

No one is as good as Tiger, I never thought I would see an athlete as dominant as Jordan, but I think Tiger is that good, peeps wanted to see history with a 19-0 team. I am telling you, you see it every time Tiger swings a club!

Selah

Cal loss, and partying with my brother!

An amazing thing about Cal losses, when Cal loses, almost immediately the cell phones of my Cal friends fail to work...almost miraculous. Of course when Texas suffers the occasional defeat the phones seem to work well enough to call me pretty much instantly. But I bear no grudges, hearing this from my friend let me realize just how much this loss broke my friends' spirits "I cannot come out tonight I am so depressed I just realized we will never ever be #1." Well he might be right, but it is pretty funny to see them come back to reality...even though Cal is my favorite West Coast team, I know and many of their 'honest' fans know, they have the WORST fans in the nation and they did not deserve to be #1...I dreaded hanging around them if they had been #1.

I will be at the CAL v UCLA game, so hit me up if you will be there.

It was amazing partying with my bro tonight, to see him work the crowd like a pro, like a relaxed pimp. But the most amazing part was to see him pick up women younger than the ones that were with me. This is not to say that he was taking home some young skank, what it means is that the women I was talking to were WAY TOO DAMN OLD! What has happened to me, older women are now drawn to me like a moth to a flame.

56-3. THE HORNS ARE BACK (even if it was just Iowa State)

Sixth Texas Player arrested since June

Wow we might not be number one in the polls, but we are definitely number one in any lineup.

Why can't these guys just do something simple like make a 7th floor crew and embarrass our program that way.

"Whats up with partner, Where he live, Where he stay at
Where the ice, where the bread, where the cake at?
I'm telling you man you don't want it with dem boyz,
Everyone of them got felonies man!
I'm slap me a ni$$a, befoe its over with,
I'm rush me a ni$$a, befoe its over with,
Duct tape me a ni$$a, befoe its over with,
I'm bust me a ni$$a, befoe its over with." --Felonies by Boyz N Da Hood

"It's Britney Bitch!"

Now I understand why she starts her single off with that line, when you watch just how crappy and sluggish her performance was at the start of the VMAs it makes sense that she has to remind us of who she is, since she appears to be a completely different person from the "barbie doll" that she used to be.

I refuse to call her fat like so many others are, cause I think she just lacks toning, what I will call her is idiotic for donning an outfit like that when the last thing peeps remember of her performing was as a "sexay young thang" with a python and ripped abs.

I absolutely loved the looks on the faces of the audience, Rihanna was laughing her head off, 50c was bewildered and Puffy just looked like he wanted to be any where but on camera at that moment.

Seriously can we stop giving Sarah Silverman hosting gigs...she is just not that funny and does not have the charisma to host a show...let us just send her back to the status of "Jimmy Kimmel's kind of funny girlfriend." Time we remember that just saying something 'shocking' is not automatically funny.

I must say that I love hearing that Tommy Lee and Kid Rock are fighting over Pam Anderson...not even sure of what joke to drop here since everything flooding through my head is completely inappropriate and involves strippers/whores and dollar bills.

Come on Kanye, another tantrum? It has become as predictable as my calling Paris Hilton promiscuous.



Some props. Mad props to Asafa Powell for lowering the World Record again. A Jamaican holds the record ALONE again and it is now 9.74

Props to the Horns for winning the latest Battle for Texas.

Props to the Cowboys for taking care of that team from NY...the dwarfs.

First Saturday in September...

Yes it is 24 days to my birthday, but more importantly it is the unofficial start of College Football.

I know some games were played on Thursday but the First Saturday in September is almost like Christmas to me.

Weird day though, I have my good friend's wedding today. His wedding 'kicksoff' right around the same time that Texas starts its march to the National title.

Love my peeps to death, but if you know me YOU KNOW I will be tracking that game throughout the ceremony. Thankfully we are playing a cream-puff team so I have no fear of having to track a Texas comeback and screaming out "yes" in excitement...since with my luck it would be right at the moment that the question is asked "Does anyone here have any objections?"

CONGRATS AGAIN JOE and thanks for not having your wedding during TEXAS/OU weekend.