Infrequently updated consistently funny

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Just another reason why TEXAS will always be better than those damn Hogs from Arkansas vol 1.3435

In the interest of fairness I should note that the judge is an HONORABLE graduate of THE UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS. This footnote might have been the best footnote I have ever seen in a legal opinion

“It is worth noting, that the Razorbacks, who disgracefully retreated from the Southwest Conference to the gentler pastures of the Southeastern Conference, could have likely learned a lesson about stamina and perseverance in the face of battle by visiting the Alamo in San Antonio.” --you tell 'em judge!

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Please note that UT has been involved in the game of the Century for both relevant football centuries, we cannot claim the 1800s because no one cared then except the Ivy leagues and they have not been relevant since then.

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.