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Friday, June 13, 2008

R. Kelly acquitted on ALL charges!

Let me repeat that in a different way to see if this is more believable, R Kelly has been found not-guilty of all charges.

Only thing that could have made this more interesting would have been if O.J. was in the front row when the verdict was read.

Ok all my friends who I talk to in person (I consider my readers friends too, please no crying), know my feelings on this. I think R did it. I am pretty damn sure R did it, I think he should be in jail for 'Hair Braider' but I did have a slight problem with him going up the river on this case. Too much of it was shoddily run.

I mean damn, this is 10 years later, the 'girl' looks old enough to be his mom at this stage, the tape was grainy to begin with (maybe I saw it, maybe I didn't). Hypothetically if I did see it, let us just say at some points that girl looks like a pro and at some points you just feel so sick cause it looks like you are watching a kid. Again that is all hypothetical. I was amazed that the prosecutors at this stage were going to charge him. When the tape first leaked I though immediately he was going to jail. Only one problem, that was so long ago I was not even named the Cali J then.

Who on earth expected Chicago's second favorite black son (Obama has to be #1 right now) to go to jail on a case that even if they had brought it while the girl still looked like a girl would have been hard to win. Add the fact that the 'girl' says that she is not the girl, and the case has more holes in it than swiss cheese (I know, I know, I could not resist that one).

The Chapelle "Pee on you" skit is even funnier now that he got off, the portion where they ask the juror what would be needed to convict him and he says oh screw I will just put the scene, (thanks Yahoo answers and IMDB):

Prosecutor: Mr. Chappelle, what would it take to convince you that R. Kelly is guilty?

Dave Chappelle: Okay, I'd have to see a video of him singing "Pee On You," two forms of government ID, a police officer there to verify the whole thing, four or five of my buddies and Neal taking notes, and R. Kelly's grandma to confirm his identity.

R. Kelly's Grandma: That's my Robert, always peeing on people.
Dave: How come they ain't found who killed Biggie or Tupac but they arrest O.J. Simpson the next day? Nicole Simpson can't rap! I want justice!

I suspect many of the jurors needed the same proof.

"No I'm serious, I really wanna pee on you"


Crankyputz said...

That skit is definately a classic...

Ahh I think I always expected him to get off.

I like the hypothetical play by play of the video you only hypothetically watched...

Crankyputz said...

That skit is definately a classic...

Ahh I think I always expected him to get off.

I like the hypothetical play by play of the video you only hypothetically watched...

Abeni said...

Not surprised at all. Always expected him to walk

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.