Infrequently updated consistently funny

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

I miss you too much for this to be safe...vol 1.435

I miss you,
You were so good to me. When others forsook me, you were there. You were often with me when nothing else would soothe. When I could not eat in the mornings, you were there.

You were amazing on my lips. So soft, so smooth so sweet. You caressed my lips, you were gentle on my tongue. Yes too much of you could initially give me a quick headache, but you were instantly forgiven and you always soothed my head. When sore, I could hold you to my chest and you would make things feel ok.

It has been 5 weeks and I have not had you. I am wrecked without you. I am lost without you. I find myself, trying to find substitutes for you. Cookies, cakes, vague hook ups, transgressions...I have strayed.

I have found myself making Kool-Aid because of you! KOOL AID? I miss your sugar, so now I have craved sugar. I am trying to lose weight and you have me drinking kool-aid. I had not made Kool-aid since I was a teenager.

I love you, I think I have to come back to you, this has been a miserable break. Maybe I can take you in small doses? Maybe I can control myself around you? Can I trust myself to have you back in my house?

We were together for 26 years. I was wrong to abandon you, so what if you were bad for my diet, what are wash board abs if I am lonely at night?

I want you back, I miss you...ice cream!

5 comments:

pierre said...

uh dude?

Rose said...

Stay strong!

swiffer sheet V said...

I had Marble Slab ice cream it was oh so good on my lips and in my tummy....

Cali J said...

Wow you are cruel!

Abeni said...

what are washboard abs indeed

icecream for ever:)

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.