Bachelorette the Men tell all or Hey how about a recap of the season that you probably slept through

Tonight it is the men tell all episode.

They copy the last season move of having the Bachelor/bachelorette sneak up on a group watching the show. The problem is both Sean and Des lack the charisma to carry a fun appearance. This time they take it on the road and go to New York and along with Des other past Bachelors and Bachelorettes. I know this is cynical of me but I suspect that it is because Des lacks personality and they knew they would need buffers.
 

We also have a taped segment with Des getting advice from former Bachelorettes on how to handle the ‘Men Tell All’ episodes. Apparently Des cannot think for herself on anything. I didn’t bother to pay attention to this part.
 

The men are introduced and as always there are people I forgot about. They show Will the ‘black guy’ and D immediately yells “token black guy” I hate that I agree. We get a quick recap of the first night and see the creepiness of Jonathan with his ‘Fantasy suite’ push, and Kasey the ‘hash tag guy’, Brian the guy with the secret girlfriend. Maybe this is what I should do next season, just skip the whole show and just watch the men tell all and get the full recap via this forum.
 

They discuss Brian, (who declined the invitation to show up) and of course the guys pile on because what else do you expect them to say? “Hey he should do the show while keeping a lady back home.”
 

We move on to Ben – He gets the ‘hot seat’ treatment: Chris starts him off slow with a video recap and we get to hear Ben again talk about not wanting to wait to date new girls [once he is booted]. Benis asked why there was a divide between himself and the other men, he claims it is because he aggressively pursued Des. Ben does the ‘pretend that no one saw you on the show move’ as a fan of denial myself I can respect it.

Ben is accused of faking the bond with his son and of cheating on his girl. Ben claims to be a very good father but is not vociferous in his denials. I have no idea if Ben is a good or bad father, but I do know that my dad would be yelling a lot more viciously at anyone who questioned his worth as a father…then again my dad would never be on this show so scratch that.
 

James takes the next spot on the hot seat and we see his recap. He is asked exactly what he said to cause the guys to accuse him of trying to be the next Bachelor. The women in the crowd are listening to him but shaking their heads…I remain amused but too lazy to type the entire recap. James and Mikey T. both bring up good points but the audience and the other guys are not prepared to handle the truth. Mikey T stands up to confront Kasey, this is so far Kasey’s night he has taken over much of the conversations and much of the interviewing. Juan Pablo takes a sneaky shot at James and says he would not want his daughter or sister to date him.

The spray tan is strong on a tonne of these guys.
 

Juan Pablo is up next and the women in the audience go gaga. Unlike Ben when they bring up Juan Pablo’s child we see clips of him interacting with his daughter. If you just saw the clips of Juan Pablo interacting with Des you would have assumed that he won the show. Apparently his daughter has picked up Des’ accent and I feel so so so so so sorry for the daughter.
 

Zak is next, his recap gets to show us how much more personality he had than the other guys. Zak brings up the fact that he spends half of his year on the oil rig - that has to be murder on a sexual relationship. They finally read the poem that Zak wrote to Emily and it is immediately better than any of the poems Chris has written.
 

Des is back in a very sparkly dress. D and I disagree vehemently about her body, I think it is stunning he hates it. Des goes after Ben but she does not hammer him like the girls who gave her ‘advice’ wanted her to. Des thinks she was manipulated by James, I do not think that would be too hard…Des attempts again to say Juan Pablo’s name and fails miserably, this seems like a failure of the American school system. Our boy Zak is analyzed by Des and she appears to have cut him because he smiled too much, yeah I do not get it either. Zak then sings a song to Des, I await the news that he now has a country music deal, I really thought that earlier in the season he said he only knew how to play/perform one song. Women in the audience are wiping tears from their eyes at the end of the song.
 

There is a quick blooper reel, I chuckle a bit. And then Chris Harrison promos the upcoming episodes, I am only watching the promo because D wants to see it, otherwise I do not trust a word from Chris Harrison since he leads with “this is the most dramatic…” blah blah blah come on Chris we know! The promo leaves many of the women in the audience with their mouths agape. It leaves me thinking, “great job by the editing team.” While the credits run they have some audience interviews and the women interviewed are really passionate about Des’ love life.

I hate myself

Anti gay marriage? Don't count this Christian as one of 'those' people

I am firm in my belief that religious institutions can dictate who they will or will not marry, if they have no public funds, government driven assistance for the marriage ceremonies etc. But as a social need/good institution I believe marriage is for all. Especially in a country that preaches (see what I did there?) separation of church and state. I really like this CNN article on Gays and the Bible's treatment of them http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2012/05/15/my-take-what-the-bible-really-says-about-homosexuality/?hpt=hp_c1



 - The 'those' people is one of my million references to 'Tropic Thunder'

I bloody messed up...the domestic

I saw a friend in a bad situation, offered comfort, hung out for a bit and then allowed myself to be convinced that it was ok to leave them there because I figured a locked door is the cure to many ails.

I did not factor in things like stress/emotions/love and dudes with svengali influences.

Plus having your ego bruised by hearing someone did not/does not love you can leave you incompetent to make sound decisions.

The smart decision would have been to bundle my friend up. Buy her new cosmetics if need be BUT GET HER OUT OF THE DAMN HOUSE and let her stay in my spare bedroom.

Congrats Samir And Karina and general hodge podge

First things first. It was my tremendous honor to officiate the Wedding of Samir and Karina this weekend. I am still shocked they picked me, and I hope I did not mess it up too much. The couple was so lovely, Karina was beautiful in her dresses (yup plural) and Samir cleans up well.

I rocked an Afro because I did not think braids would be acceptable and since my scalp has not seen the sun in awhile I could not shave it - refused to have a glowing dome for an outdoor wedding.

It was basically a big Sunny Hills reunion, I am quickly and scarily realizing that I know a tonne of peeps from that school.

Another thing I am noticing is that I tend to meet people who seem to know people, that know people that I know (yup the sentence is confusing because that is how it feels for me here). At the rehearsal in Fullerton, I met a friend who I became friends with in Hermosa, through Northern Cali friends who have nothing to do with the So Cal friends of my new friend who just happened to be part of the wedding. Millions of people in So Cal and yet everywhere I go, I tend to meet peeps I know...guess it is a sign that I tend to move in the same circles no matter where I live/visit. Heck even wine tasting in Santa Ynez I met up with friends unexpectedly.

"They be like Smooth (what), Can you teach me how to dougie?" - - Horrible song, but it is stuck in my head and I actually like the simplistic dance...shame on me, I accept it. And now for all posterity it is on the wedding video.

The grooms men all wore pink monogrammed socks with rhinestones...yup, I can rock anything proudly. Most of the reception had me walking around with a pant leg pulled up - look if I am going to have to wear a sock like that, and take pix with it, I might as well just show it and the stellar right calf off. (yup still calf pressing 400lbs with each leg, strongest muscles I have...I want the world to know).

Right after talking about leg muscles I should point out...my left leg feels like it is broken. I was so tired from the weekend (just not sleeping enough - in 4 days, I slept 6 hours) and working too much the last few days of the week I was not careful enough and strained the leg. So no it is not really broken (never broken a bone) it just sucks right now. So painful I could not even test out the road bike I was going to ride for the first time this week.

Avid cyclist that I am, I have been riding since the age of 3 I have never ridden a road bike! It was tricycle to BMX (never a huffy man), to Trek, to Trek, to Trek to Stolen Trek (if I ever find you you bastard, dog nyam yuh suppah) to now the hybrid mountain bike that causes me pain after mile 15. Almost afraid to test the road bike, because I love trails and I do not want to become spoiled by the smooth ride of a road bike and then have to spend money on maintaining 2 damn bikes!

Already in World Cup withdrawal.

The anger towards Lebron is amazing. Yeah he announced his decision in a crappy manner, but the vitriol poured out towards him is insane. Who does it really help to riot and burn jerseys?

Bloody strange summer in SO CAL, the rest of the nation is roasting with heat waves and we are actually dealing with overcast skies most days.

I tried to fight you VH1, I think you are winning

I went about 8 months without watching any reality programming on VH1. I gave up, Flavor of Love 3 and I love NY pretty much wrecked me, I was over-loaded, jaded and fatigued...and I am back. Damn you Vh-1 and your tricky moves. That show about Tools tricked me, I thought I would hate it I did at first, then I started laughing...

Rock of Love Bus? Are you kidding me a show based on a franchise that I thought was dead now goes on a bus...and I loved it.

Now tough love? You are stretching it, a match maker for a gaggle of hot chicks? Oh crap you got me again.

The worst part of your trick is that you just make it so damn convenient, I do not have to watch your shows on your schedule, each one is repeat about 20 times a week, it seems like anytime I turn on your channel one of these trashy shows is on. Heck I do not even have to watch them in order since all the episodes are basically the same mind-numbing drivel and yet I am hooked. I am afraid to do an IQ test, my IQ has probably fallen 30 points since I discovered your channel.

So what really spurred this post? Well I was watching Tough Love and could not stop laughing at how overly excited the girls were to meet some chicks boyfriend they acted as if they had all won the lottery, there were tears, hugs jumps of joy the whole 9 yards.

But maybe the best part is that they were told there would be a revelation about one of the girls and the first thing one of the girls thought was "I thought she was going to say that she has a penis"...I at first thought she was just talking for the sake of talking then I watched her reaction when the news came out and she was genuinely shocked that the girl did not reveal that she had a penis--yup these are the shows that I watch.

I hate myself for this, I also wonder, why am I not meeting these clearly damaged but hot women, I could nurture them...

They are really going to have to come up with a different word for 'Reality' programming or just always put it in quotes!

Hahah just saw the ad for the other thing that caused me to open up blogger...Vh1 has a promo for a show called Daisy of Love, it stars Daisy from Rock of Love and she is walking towards the camera in what I guess is her 'sexy walk'--or it could be her 'I am constipated but I still have to film this promo walk', I really cannot tell, all I know is, I thought it was HORRIBLE... and her delivery of the line "wanna pluck" is already annoying, I want to say I will NEVER watch that show...but!

A funny take on Prop 8!

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Just something for peeps to think about!

"We need to talk" vol 3.342

Amazing that even coming from a girl I am not dating, those words cause shivers to run up my spine.

Can anyone name or even spot any member of the Pussy Cat Dolls other than the lead singer Nicole S? Has there ever been a more disposable top flight group. Nothing against them some of their stuff is very catchy and I like it. But, if they swapped out anyone other than the lead singer...would anyone notice?

I mean damn, I just saw a clip of them singing and realized..."I have no idea who these girls are" They consistently have top 10 hits, have millions of fans, platinum sales and I suspect the 2nd blonde girl could be standing next to me and I would not even know that she was not just the typical SoCal girl.

Hell the Spice Girls were manufactured, all the Making the Band groups are manufactured, most pop groups etc the list goes on, but for most of those groups swap out a member and you will notice. I am not even sure that the girls who started the music video ended the music video!!!!

Recap of the Flavor of Love recap...just kill me now!

I said I wouldn't do this, but I knew I was kidding myself. (Plus Kami forced my hand). So here it is, I have to blog about the FOL reunion show or as BET would call it "A hot ghetto mess".

Ever wonder if Flav spells the girls names so crazily because he cannot actually spell? Grayvee, Bunz, Myammee just to name a few.

Seems like the only time I see Lala is when she is hosting one of these shows, wonder how this is listed on her resume.

Ouch to start it off Ice clowns Flav, then has to mention "I am still working at hooters" hmm, you sure you want to be clowning peeps?

"You aint cute enough to tell a bitch her breath stink" -- Good job Sommore

Damn it Flav, cleaned the dome, I enjoyed making fun of his hair, kind of hard to make fun of a shaved head, since I rock that style.

Ouch, apparently Shy is losing work because peeps think her breath might stink and will not want to work with her...hmm could it be that it was a bad idea to enter Flavor of Love...I would pick only one answer YES!

"I'm not an alcoholic, but I need a drink" uhmm, yeah I am going to say, you are an alki.

Is there really a dude in the crowd wearing a Viking helmet...yup Cali J I will answer that question for you, there is a moron in the crowd wearing a viking helmet, and it is not even Flav.

Interesting that Sinceer added some new chesticles: I wonder if those are to distract peeps from staring at the 5head. I mean I know it is cruel to make fun of someone's physical appearance, but let us keep it real, this woman is vindictive and she is not cute enough to act that way. Oh man, I just paused my DVR to answer the phone and it paused while Sinceer was opening her mouth really wide to argue at someone and the light is also shining on her forehead, it kind of looks like those clips of when an airplane opens up the cargo hold to let in tanks. All shiny and HUGE!

Strange, I always thought that Seezinz was only able to act tough, but for a second I saw a glint of that "I'll cut ya bitch" in her eyes.

Something is up with Black, she is almost looking masculine in the face...I think she might have lost weight and lost a bit of her luster.

This show sucks, (sorry Kami) there better be some great twist coming up, cause right now I am kind of bored, Lala sucks as a host by the way. I meant to say that up top, she sucked, last year, she sucked the year before. I mean come on, how hard is this, these chicks practically do all the work for you, just let them loose and let them roar.

If Thing 2 ever ends up missing, do we have to first suspect Thing 1 (her sister)? Interesting, all the ladies seem to have lost weight...wonder if the whole camera adds 10lbs thing got to them when they went home and saw themselves on TV.

This is trifling, dude how could you have a 7th kid sitting at home but still running around on TV claiming that you are looking for love with umpteen females? Come on Flav I thought better of you. Oh wait a minute (Give me back my computer), for a moment the Cali J was possessed by ridiculousness. Of course Flav would have a newborn at home and run around on TV looking to hook up.

Oh come on, how could any self respecting woman sit there and see 'her man' run around with all these girls and still be cool with 'her man' just coming back to her? Something does not seem like 'reality' here. Flav's woman was just too willing to accept the flaws...then again maybe I just do not know what love is.

I will let Talib Kweli play us out since maybe these lyrics explain it all:
"I don't care what people say
As long as you and me okay
Because I never been in love before
See I used to be a player and
All of this is new to me
And this ain't what I'm used to see
Because I never been in love before"

Flav of love 'seezinz' 3 recap vol 1

I was told by a friend (Kami) that I had to blog this week of F.O.L. so here goes.

The show starts off with previously on Flavor of Love and it again shows the mom of one of the girls basically urging her daughter to go after Flav, that is called...BAD PARENTING! We all know I love Flav as a character but if my daughter (hypo) ever came home with someone like him...I have failed as a father!

Seriously this girl has a forehead so huge they could start showing drive through movies on it. Hahahah as soon as I typed this the next clip shows her wearing a bandanna and oh man, it is like watching someone trying to tie a table cloth around a house, yeah a square might be covered but it all cannot be blocked out.

Did France know what it was getting when Flavor Flav showed up? Or did they know, put up a resistance and immediately surrender to the invading force? (Sorry I had to do it) Cot damn I miss Paris.

Watching these 3 girls try to come to decisions by themselves is what I imagine happens when you try to split 2 marbles among 3 spoiled brats.

Hahah, this chick is clearly a moron, you are invited out on a boat by Flav who loves to swim and you wear only the top of a swim suit and not the bottoms?

You know what, seeing Flav without a clock is kind of weird, you get so used to seeing that appendage.

"What the fu@k is a soirée?" Oh gosh girl, please do not open your mouth to speak anymore.

Hahaah the MC at the ball room in French just called Flav "MC HAMMER" (I probably should be offended by this [all look alike and all that] but I find it too funny)

Seriously, if your forehead is too big for you to even have bangs what do you do? Do you audition to be a Klingon and just tell them that u can save them a tonne on makeup?

A thing you have to love about this show, even the sub-titler has a problem trying to type out what these chicks are saying! Sometimes I cannot understand what they are saying so I throw on the subtitles and many a time...that does not help.

Still amazing when any of these girls are surprised that another girl is stabbing them in the back. If I fell into a pit of snakes I would not be shocked if I got bitten.

Listening to Flav and one of the girls try to speak French is an exercise in torture, I am now firmly convinced the French had no idea what they were doing when they let him in.

"The perfect way to end a french lesson is with a french kiss!" Aww that is beautiful girl. Damn Flav truly inhales these girls when he kisses them. It is a crime against nature to see beautiful women on this show. Wait, let me consider this. Would it be better to dilute the Flav gene pool with a hottie or have the Klingon breed with him and keep both of them out of the normal gene pool.

"Your man Flavor Flav has got a problem; I got a psycho stalker, I got a drama queen, I even got a girl who likes to pick fights" And the Cali J has got a headache, you picked these girls, no crying now.

I tend not to put the girls' names in the blogs cause I notice I tend to spell them differently so many times. For instance one of the girls is named after the color she was wearing when Flav met her, Black. But I think Flav spells it Blaque, but I cannot swear to that, it might be Blacque after all it is the mind of Flav.

And now we have the return of Thing 2, I kind of suspected it, it just seemed obvious to me. Hmm you know what she looks a lot like a muppet, I suspect that is why Flav likes her, after all NY looked exactly like Ms. Piggy, maybe that is what Flav is into!

I leave the elimination blank cause, well it just does not matter, plus it gives you a chance to see it for yourself.

"That's Amore"

Welcome to the end of our society! I mean 70% of all TV is crap, 90% of all 'reality' programming is crap, but wow this new show on MTV with Domenico as the star has got to be one of the biggest steaming piles of crap paraded on TV.

I tried to avoid it, I wanted to avoid it, but I blame Erin, she made me watch it, dare I say tricked me into watching it. As Flav would say, 'she got real, psychologically with me'. She brought up what at the time seemed like a valid point "if we watched 'Shot of love' how bad can this be?" My answer at the time was "if the original was crap, and this is a copy of the original then it is probably going to be even worse" I stand by my initial assessment.

Sadly, I think I am still going to watch it.

Brief synopsis of the excrement that flowed through my DVR; one of the challenges had the 'ladies' jumping into a pool of spaghetti and meat balls and then trying to take as many balls in the mouth as they could manage without using their hands and then taking the balls from the pool to a bowl so that they could be added to the team total. Re read that paragraph (it was probably badly written - in a rush here) but yup you read that right, they had women trying to fit 'balls in their mouths' as part of a competition...no one saw anything wrong with that? I am slow to find objectification because too often I think it is just paternalistic, but wow, even I stood back and said, "damn this is bad." But of course the ladies dived right in and started bobbing like they were auditioning for the next Jenna Jameson flick. Heck 2 even started fighting in the pool - I could not resist a chuckle, after all they were fighting to put balls in their mouths...

Erin, I am mad at you for making me watch this, and disappointed at both you and Vera for not somehow making it on this show!

Sheryl Lee Ralph WTH are you doing on Flavor of Love

You are married to a Pennsylvania state senator you are of Jamaican heritage, you are a strong independent woman, heck you are a Dreamgirl! I know you were on there as a motivational speaker but cot damn, I do not want to see you on this show. FOL is a guilty pleasure of mine, and like many guilty pleasures we do not want to see good people involved with it. Please SLR, do not reappear on anything like this ever again.
(side note, Damn girl you are STILL getting it done)/

"A baked potato? Are we in Russia"

I still maintain if a family member of mine ever shows up on Flavor of Love, I will have to disown her!

Elimination tonight was funny, Flav tried to eliminate a girl and could not remember her name...I guess that it is a clear sign that it is time for you to go if the person you are trying to woo cannot even remember your name.

Happy Valentine's Day!

"What do you call it when Bill and Hillary get together for Valentine's day? --A fundraiser" from The Tonight Show. 2/14/08 (thanks DVR)

I love my downtown clique:
Cali J: Sup G, bringing a girl out tonight for V-day?
N: Nah, not really, I will be taking a girl with me but it wont be a date.
Cali J: Taking a girl out with you on Valentine's day...and it is not a date...smooth G, real smooth.

I love that most of the peeps in the clique manage to deny that they are ever in relationships. One of my boys has dated his girl for 2 years and still denies that they are in a relationship. Just amazing the commitment phobia that we all seem to share. Something tells me that is part of why we are such a good group, we all understand each other.

Hey Baby girl; "You remind me of my jeep!"