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Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Bachelorette the Men tell all or Hey how about a recap of the season that you probably slept through

Tonight it is the men tell all episode.

They copy the last season move of having the Bachelor/bachelorette sneak up on a group watching the show. The problem is both Sean and Des lack the charisma to carry a fun appearance. This time they take it on the road and go to New York and along with Des other past Bachelors and Bachelorettes. I know this is cynical of me but I suspect that it is because Des lacks personality and they knew they would need buffers.
We also have a taped segment with Des getting advice from former Bachelorettes on how to handle the ‘Men Tell All’ episodes. Apparently Des cannot think for herself on anything. I didn’t bother to pay attention to this part.
The men are introduced and as always there are people I forgot about. They show Will the ‘black guy’ and D immediately yells “token black guy” I hate that I agree. We get a quick recap of the first night and see the creepiness of Jonathan with his ‘Fantasy suite’ push, and Kasey the ‘hash tag guy’, Brian the guy with the secret girlfriend. Maybe this is what I should do next season, just skip the whole show and just watch the men tell all and get the full recap via this forum.
They discuss Brian, (who declined the invitation to show up) and of course the guys pile on because what else do you expect them to say? “Hey he should do the show while keeping a lady back home.”
We move on to Ben – He gets the ‘hot seat’ treatment: Chris starts him off slow with a video recap and we get to hear Ben again talk about not wanting to wait to date new girls [once he is booted]. Benis asked why there was a divide between himself and the other men, he claims it is because he aggressively pursued Des. Ben does the ‘pretend that no one saw you on the show move’ as a fan of denial myself I can respect it.

Ben is accused of faking the bond with his son and of cheating on his girl. Ben claims to be a very good father but is not vociferous in his denials. I have no idea if Ben is a good or bad father, but I do know that my dad would be yelling a lot more viciously at anyone who questioned his worth as a father…then again my dad would never be on this show so scratch that.
James takes the next spot on the hot seat and we see his recap. He is asked exactly what he said to cause the guys to accuse him of trying to be the next Bachelor. The women in the crowd are listening to him but shaking their heads…I remain amused but too lazy to type the entire recap. James and Mikey T. both bring up good points but the audience and the other guys are not prepared to handle the truth. Mikey T stands up to confront Kasey, this is so far Kasey’s night he has taken over much of the conversations and much of the interviewing. Juan Pablo takes a sneaky shot at James and says he would not want his daughter or sister to date him.

The spray tan is strong on a tonne of these guys.
Juan Pablo is up next and the women in the audience go gaga. Unlike Ben when they bring up Juan Pablo’s child we see clips of him interacting with his daughter. If you just saw the clips of Juan Pablo interacting with Des you would have assumed that he won the show. Apparently his daughter has picked up Des’ accent and I feel so so so so so sorry for the daughter.
Zak is next, his recap gets to show us how much more personality he had than the other guys. Zak brings up the fact that he spends half of his year on the oil rig - that has to be murder on a sexual relationship. They finally read the poem that Zak wrote to Emily and it is immediately better than any of the poems Chris has written.
Des is back in a very sparkly dress. D and I disagree vehemently about her body, I think it is stunning he hates it. Des goes after Ben but she does not hammer him like the girls who gave her ‘advice’ wanted her to. Des thinks she was manipulated by James, I do not think that would be too hard…Des attempts again to say Juan Pablo’s name and fails miserably, this seems like a failure of the American school system. Our boy Zak is analyzed by Des and she appears to have cut him because he smiled too much, yeah I do not get it either. Zak then sings a song to Des, I await the news that he now has a country music deal, I really thought that earlier in the season he said he only knew how to play/perform one song. Women in the audience are wiping tears from their eyes at the end of the song.
There is a quick blooper reel, I chuckle a bit. And then Chris Harrison promos the upcoming episodes, I am only watching the promo because D wants to see it, otherwise I do not trust a word from Chris Harrison since he leads with “this is the most dramatic…” blah blah blah come on Chris we know! The promo leaves many of the women in the audience with their mouths agape. It leaves me thinking, “great job by the editing team.” While the credits run they have some audience interviews and the women interviewed are really passionate about Des’ love life.
I hate myself

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.