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Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Fav Chappele quotes (warning explicit language)

Again I warn you this post will have foul language
My roomies copy of Chappelle season 2 is back in the house and of course I immediately lost 2 hours of my life to watching a show that I have seen so many times. Of course no blog about favorite Chappelle quotes can start without…Real Rick James: Cocaine is a helluva drug.
Of course I am way too lazy to type these quotes out so I copied them you can click on the links to see more quotes I just copied some of the ones that I love.

Businessman: I'll have a Samuel Jackson. Samuel Jackson: [shouts] Good motherfucking choice, motherfucker! Samuel Jackson! Made painstakingly by me, Samuel L. Jackson! It'll get ya drunk! You'll be fucking fat girls in no time! You might even fight a nigga or two! Mmmm-mmm, bitch! [Jackson walks up to the businessman] Samuel Jackson: [shouts] How's it taste, motherfucker? Businessman: Could you please stop yelling at me? Samuel Jackson: [shouts] No, I can't stop yelling, 'cause that's how I talk! Haven't you seen my movies? "Juice" That was a good one! "Deep Blue Sea" They ate me! A motherfucking shark ate me! Drink up, bitch!

Yes, they deserve to die! And I hope they burn in hell!

Wayne Brady: [introducing his prostitutes] Hoes, Dave. Dave, hoes. Dave Chappelle: Good evening, bitches.

Wayne Brady: I make Bryant Gumbel look like Malcolm X, huh motherfucker? Dave Chappelle: That was MOONEY!

Audience Member: Negrodamus, why is President Bush convinced there are weapons of mass destruction in Iraq? Negrodamus: Because he has the receipt.

[on "Making the Band"] Dylan: I mean, who are da five greatest rappers of all time? [counting on his fingers] Dylan: Dylan... Dylan... Dylan, Dylan, and Dylan.

Dave Chappelle: Look, man, look. Michael Jackson has many faces - none of them look guilty to me. You gotta look in the eyes, not the noses.

Tron: Katie has some big ass tit-tays!

Dave Chappelle: R. Kelly was pissed. No punchline to that. Nigga was pissed. He was all, "How could you go and make a video about peeing on someone?" Nigga, how could YOU go making a video about peeing on somebody?

Gonerrhia: Oh, hello Dave Chappelle. Haven't seen you in a while. Dave Chappelle: ...Sick motherfucker...


Anonymous said...

I got some male prostitutes for you somewhere...

spreadlove said...

I'll PISS on you, I'll PISS on you, I'll pee on yoooou. heehee.

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.