Infrequently updated consistently funny

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Bad Pussy will make you itch…

And your eyes will water: So I met my friend’s new cat today and after leaving the house had a massive allergy attack to the point where I was driving by prying my eyelids open.
This post is rated A for Adult:

So it sucks when you drop your female friend home knowing that she is only going home for a booty call. I know I know some of y’all would say be happy for her but I call you hippies. I am not that touch feely feel good type. At first I was cool about it but the more I think about it, the more it hurts me.

This post is rated A for allergy:

Cot damn I haven’t had an allergy attack this bad since I had to be carted to the hospital via an ambulance in the ATX and hooked up to an IV and told that I needed to contact next of kin. I looked like a crack head at the pharmacy I was itching so much I couldn’t stop scratching. The poor chic at the register was trying to talk to me and all I could manage to do was crack open the loratadine tablets and chug the can of Diet Rockstar to try and stop the itching and pain.

This post is rated A for amazingly bad advice:

Yes Pierre you are getting called out for telling me that it’s ok to take 2 pills every 4 hours. Thank God I fished the instructions out of the garbage like a hobo looking for food and read ONE bloodclaut tablet every 24 hours. Thanks for trying to kill your driver off.

This post is rated A for alcohol:

It has been my friend, it has been my lover, and it has been my counselor. I trust it more than I trust most peeps that I know. It also goes great with medication. It also brings out the worst side of some peeps I know, see the above “booty call” paragraph: Not her getting the booty call, but the argument we had on the drive home (My apology for my part of it – but it takes 2 to argue)

This post is rated A for Section A:

Fun kicking it w/ y’all: Who needs a reputation, keep doing what y’all are doing, I love it and I love seeing y’all out.

This post is rated for Awww Ahhhhh:

How the hell are you going to fake moan at the bar? Hmm guess that means that everything you do is fake? Oh wait, guys would have to care for that to matter right?

This post is rated A for Amazing:

Ok so on this one I am going to play psychic: I have already set my alarm to wake me up early so that I can watch Texas beat Mizzou. So because I expect this to happen: “DAMN what an awesome game, we really kicked Missouri’s ass!? Of course if the skies fall and the heavens open up and some how UT loses I will delete this paragraph and pretend it was never posted

Finally, this post is rated A for ASU:

Damn it! Beat the hell out of USC!

4 comments:

Shotta M said...

I'll stick with the 'A' theme and express my thoughts: "Another Awesome Articulation Aaron."

aarond said...

haha thanks Marc!

Dr. D. said...

Loratadine is a once a day drug, but quite safe if you tek it twice a day my yute....what you may consider doing is combining it with another antihistamine...

Sound like you bredrin who did tell you two every four hours is not really a bredrin to rass!

Jdid said...

boy i feel for you with the cat allergy. i know how that goes

Blog Archive

About Me

My photo
Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.